All-New NSFW Red Band Trailer For Upcoming “The ABCs of Death” (2012) Is Bloody, Sick Fun! (HD)

Oh, and if you have been eagerly anticipating the movie like I have, and keeping an eye out of reviews and news alerts, see if you can guess which clip is from the Xavier Gens segment “X is for XXL”, which almost every   review I’ve read pointed out as one of the most memorable and gruesome, in which a woman unhappy with her plus-size figure decides to do something about it …all at once.

 

“Warning! Contains Graphic Violence, Nudity, Graphic Content, Not Appropriate For Anyone Under”-YOU’RE ON! You had me at “26 Directors – 26 Ways To Die,”  ABCs of Death Red Band Trailer. I’ve been psyched for this since July. Finally, the trailer for the film is here (though I loved the one composed of contest entries for the letter T, and am still posting my Top 20 Picks). The gloriously gory claymation horror short “T Is For Toilet” from Lee Hardcastle (which was the winner), “T is for Temptation,” and “T is for Table” are still the ones I really wish could be included in the feature film too,  as they hold up to multiple viewing and still make me shake my head and smile. For some reason “T is for Table” actually still frightens me, even though I was also practically jumping up and down the first time I saw it, it was so perfect. The short even has a little bit of a Final Destination  vibe to it; though I can’t really articulate intelligently why with all this over-the-counter cold medicine in me, I hope to later.

Before I post the trailer, let me just point out that I wanted to also put RED BAND TRAILER OF THE MONTH! in the title, but it wouldn’t fit. FUCK YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER! would have done it too (in all caps, with multiple exclamation points) but some of my relatives are just now checking out Horror Boom for the first time, and they wouldn’t be mad, but they’d be disappointed in me (which as anyone who has ever heard this from a parent knows, is much worse). You have to admit, that’s a great tagline for something that you have to be a legal adult to go see, where you already know what you’re getting is sick. The ABCs of Death: Fuck Yeah, Motherfucker.*

Oh, and if you have been early anticipating the movie like I have, and keep an eye out of reviews and news alerts, see if you can guess which clip is from the French horror director Xavier Gens “X is for XXL”, which almost every   review I’ve read pointed out as one of the most memorable and gruesome, in which a woman unhappy with her plus-size decides to do something about it …all at once. Hint: See featured photo.

OK, I wanted to get this up ASAP. More later, including some really NSFW official promo stills Magnet (the film’s distributor) has released to the press.

Oh, I have another great tagline that’d  fit and put asses in seats. The ABCs of Death: It’s Just So Wrong.

*yeah, I’ve seen 21 Jump Street  with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, that’s where I got it. Did you know  there’s a rumor (that in probability is true, I just haven’t verified it yet, I saw it on The Hollywood Reporter in June) that Aaron Paul is going to be in the sequel? I am so there.

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HOLY SHIT! Gory Official Red Band Trailer For the Fucking Evil Dead Reboot from Raimi and Co.!

The first  Red Band teaser trailer for the 2012 Evil Dead  reboot just hit the internet about an hour ago (as of this writing), and it is SHOCKING and GORY and FUN and SICK and I think NICOTERO is involved and a TOTAL  EVIL DEAD BLOOD BATH  and I just got a LOT more fucking excited* about it!  I wasn’t expecting that much gore, but  HOAH!  I’m talking  HOAH! LEE! SHIT!  Check it out below, even though you don’t get to see sexy Bruce Campbell anywhere!

No wonder the fans at NY Comic Con lost their damn minds. Oh, and I almost forgot — Happy Birthday, Mr. Raimi! Nice of you to give your fans a present. Oh, uh, retroactive warning, don’t watch this when you’ve got a paper cut on your tongue. Or easily offended. Sorry about that, good thing I said something before you saw this, huh?

Thank you to The Onion© for the inspirational headline. Don’t get me wrong,  I would have sworn all over the place anyway, but that’s the first thing I thought of  (after Fuck yeah, Motherfucker!  which wasn’t as descriptive).

The movie’s current release date is April 12, 2013!

*I’m not a big Diablo Cody fan, and I hear she was involved with the screenplay, so that kind of tamped it down. Also, it made me feel old, which I’m not a big fan of either. But THIS, THIS shit here, made me forget all about all that!

 

Sick Horror Short “T is for Talk” Packs a HELL of a Wallop (From “The ABCs of Death” Contest)!

The stand-outs so far (according to several sources) were Xavier Gens (who made the brutal Frontier/s  and The Divide;  his name always gets dropped, and rightly so, when people mention ‘New French Extremist Horror’) and his segment called “X to XXL”, where a woman, “takes the ultimate action to reduce her body size”.

“T is for Talk” (2011), directed and co-written by Peter Haynes, was a top vote-getter in the “26th Director” ABCs of Death  contest. Of course, that was back when the voting window for the contest was still open, which I managed to totally miss, thus this series to share the best other shorts with a wider audience. I’m pretty sure you’ll see why; it packs a hell of a wallop into four minutes.  This is definitely one of the most intense entries, and isn’t something you should watch if you’re NOT in the mood for something dark, nasty…and very original. Oh, and if you have a pounding headache, I recommend waiting until your head’s back to normal (you’ll see why pretty fast).  Check out the very NSFW, intense “T is for Talk”, from New Zealand, below!

Damn!   A prequel to that short could be interesting in the right hands. Anyway, that’s eighteen down, seven to go (I think. I’ll do the math later). You can go back and read the first three posts, each with five picks either embedded or linked–some were only on Vimeo or the official voting contest page via the ‘related’ links below, or you can watch the first five entries (plus the introduction) here, the second batch of entries here, and the third bunch of five entries—which has one of the sickest entries in the series– here. I also went and posted a link (I couldn’t embed it) to one that I meant to post, but missed, a couple of weeks ago back in September, which you can check out here. Enjoy, and expect the last eight entries by the time of the full-length movie’s release, which should give me plenty of time since the release date got bumped way the fuck back to January 31st for VOD, and motherfucking March for a limited theatrical run (sigh). I read three reviews from sources I trust, and they said it was kind of a mixed bag; some were more toilet humor/gross-out* than scary or gory (or worth four minutes of your time).

Anyway, now that reviews are coming in, the reviewers said there were some great segments that made The ABCs of Death  worth sitting through. The stand-outs so far (according to several sources) were Xavier Gens (who made the brutal Frontier/s  and The Divide;  his name always gets dropped, and rightly so, when people mention ‘New French Extremist Horror’) and his segment called “X to XXL”, where a woman, “takes the ultimate action to reduce her body size”. My guess it she does a little whittling down at home, taking matters into her own hands by using a sharp blade.**  Another standout is supposed to be “L is for Libido,” dealing with (I am not making this up) a psychotic masturbation contest (worse than a biscuit party, I assume) –gee, how could THAT go horribly wrong in an unrated horror movie?–that ‘ends with sick and deadly results.’  I’m not proud of admitting this, but …SOLD!

Right now, I really  want to see what Banjong Pisathanakun (half the team from Shutter  and  Alone ) does with his four minutes …and with what letter of the alphabet and title. N is for Natre? S is for Siamese Twin

Well, that’s seventeen down and eight to go! More to come, definitely before the holidays (and probably sooner).

NO REPEATING

*I wonder if any of them had to (or needed to for the purpose of rating them, no-one held a gun to my head making me watch all of them, it was just too late in my project to back-pedal by then) sit through “T is for Testosterone Replacement Therapy”, “T is for Tentacle Rape“, or “T is for Tampon”? Those weren’t anywhere near scary, they didn’t have a plot, two out of the three were so misogynistic I felt like punching whoever was responsible for them in the teeth, and they didn’t even try to be entertaining –on any level. I got the feeling they only made the films because they had some serious issues and/or really filthy sexual fetishes to work through. Through the years, I’ve picked up on the fact that self-indulgence usually doesn’t make for an end product entertaining for anyone but the artist. Consider yourself warned if you’re somehow still compelled to watch them …especially if you’re eating at the time.

**For a while now, I actually have been fleshing out (no pun intended, I should get of my tired ass and take a stab  at grabbing the thesaurus before half my comments sound like The Cryptkeeper introducing a story, boils and ghouls ) an outline for a short horror story, where a woman with some serious issues hates her body  –and doesn’t have the money to go pay for lipo or another medical procedure. At the end, she really goes over the edge and tries the do-it-yourself approach with craving knives and maybe a vacuüm cleaner or other suction device. The scariest part? I’m afraid if I Googled or otherwise researched this, there will turn out to be not one but a ton of cases of people who already tried to do it. Self-surgery, not writing a short story about it, I mean. There’s no way that’s going to end well…

Watch the First 5 Minutes of American Horror Story: Asylum – RIGHT NOW!

Having sex in all twelve of them? Where 46,000 people died in this last stop alone? Purposely in the most evil, ghastly spots, does anyone really think that’s a good idea (especially on American Horror Story)?  Are they TRYING to rack up the worst karma possible? 

First things first! Watch the first sick five minutes of American Horror Story: Asylum below – including the disturbing new opening credits! Same soundtrack, new hideous images. If you weren’t quite sold before, if you’re a horror fan, these sick (in the best way) five minutes will sell you.  They actually make the first five minutes of Season One look tame (and the first five minutes of American Horror Story Season One weren’t too shabby. But this, THIS stuff,  is terrifying and twisted and dirty and disturbing and extremely NSFW, and I love every freaky minute of it. There, I said it. Somebody had to say it! So, check THIS  crazy, scary, and fun footage out — what are you waiting for? We’ve been waiting all year!

Last stop on the “haunted honeymoon tour”.  46,000 people died there?  Her ideal honeymoon is having sex with her new husband in the twelve most haunted places in the world? I wouldn’t even want to go NEAR them, except maybe during a guided tour in the daytime. The closest we got on our honeymoon was The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland.*

Having sex in all twelve of them? Purposely in the most evil, ghastly spots, does anyone really think that’s a good idea (especially on American Horror Story)?  Are they TRYING to rack up the worst karma possible (and that’s at best, assuming none of these places are really haunted, and there’s no squatters or any kind of cult living there). Yes, having sex on an old electroshock therapy table and laughing about it, then sticking your hand into a slot in the cell wall where the most ‘famous inmate’, a notorious serial killer who liked to skin his victim’s faces (yes, I know what his bride’s little reward for that was), even though it’s pitch black. How could THIS go wrong? Enjoy that kinky sex while you can, happy young couple, because something tells me it’s going to be the last time you ever have fun again…

HOAH! They’re not screwing around in the title credits this season.

I’m working on a gallery from the opening credits. But I know one thing. If I could pick one word to describe what this season is going to be like for horror fans and fans of the show, that word would be:

Fun FUN! Oh, baby…

*Uh, I should clarify …NO, we did not have sex in, on, or around The Haunted Mansion. Not only would we probably get arrested and never get to go on the ride again, but it would have been hard to look around and see all the awesome Haunted Mansion sights. Also, it’d be hard enough to manage sex in a “Doom Buggy”, but with the Haunted Hitchhikers in there, it’d definitely be too crowded!

Scariest Short Horror Film of the Week – Exorcism Shocker “Deus Irae” (2010)

I was considering posting this Argentinian blood-curdling short film as “Scariest Argentinian Short Film of The Month” or “Scariest Exorcism Movie of the Month,” but decided to use it this week so there’s some variation on the ones I post.

Many people who’ve been wowed by the short movie say they didn’t want it to end.  Other common reactions are versions of viewers asking, “what the HELL did I just watch?”

OK, I had no idea how scary and batshit-crazy this short film would be. I was also floored by the writing, the effects… and how it made me want to turn all the lights on and worry about just what might be under my bed —even though it was still light out. This one is definitely worth watching full-screen; the lighting, atmosphere, and stunning cinematography by Lucio Bonelli are off the fucking hook on this 13-minute short!

All I knew about Deus Irae  (from Nerdhaus Films) going in was that it was very, very scary, had a graphic content warning for violence and gore, and was centered around the following plot: a mother and her little girl are preparing for her exorcism, waiting for a team of three expert priests to arrive. I was caught TOTALLY off-guard by the blood-curdling practical effects (courtesy of the sought-after award-winning Rabbid EFX, who utilized a five-member special effects team to create the horrifying sights for the short).  They’re almost a little too memorable –especially when you are having a restless night. The movie had a low budget, but you’d sure as hell never know from watching it.

Below, you’ll find a breakdown of the digital effects sequences (do NOT watch before the short!) from the film’s producer.

Many people who’ve been wowed by the movie say they didn’t want it to end.  The latest word is that a feature film is in the works (you can also read more about that on the film’s official website, right here). Other common reactions are versions of viewers asking “what the HELL did I just watch?”

I highly recommend checking out Rabbid Effect’s amazing, awesome website– there’s at least half an hour’s material from various sizzle reels, trailers, galleries, and digital art there, and the presentation is stellar. You also, as I did, may end up jotting the names of several movies they’ve done effects for, just from the demo clips, to look into and hunt down. Hell, I spent over an hour exploring.

Very creepy dolls are SO the least of the character’s problems in this short…

Pedro Cristiani wrote and directed this show-stopper of a short, and Lucio Bonelli was the DP and cameraman. If you’d like to know more about Lucio Bonelli’s work, here’s a link to more movies he’s created cinematography for.  Sadly, this is the only film he’s done in the horror genre, but hopefully that will change with the feature-length film!

Unsurprisingly, Deus Irae  made the rounds at the festival circuit– almost every single one, including Fantastic Fest. The film was shown at the Toronto After Dark film festival, where it took home the well-deserved Audience Award.

Quoting from the 2010 Mar del Plata Film Festival site:

“It doesn’t matter how it happened or what’s the logic behind it: the demons are among us. And the only people with enough knowledge and strength to face them are the Deus Irae, a strange militia of gun-loving priests. But every battle is different. As well as every possession. And every priest. The short film Deus Irae  shines as a particularity work that has a much larger build-up behind, suggesting this horror adventure is the beginning of a project that will surely change the way horror films are made in Argentina.”  You’ll get no argument from me on any of THAT.

Deus Irae  also roughly translates to “The Wrath of God” in Latin, as Wikipedia tells me, anyway.   Perfect.

Two New Red, Red, RED Band Trailers for Wrong Turn 5 (2012)!

I have two trailers for the  October 23rd DTV release of Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines.  One is Red Band, the second is really, REALLY Red Band. It’s probably oh, I don’t know, the goriest, most NSFW teaser trailer I’ve posted (so far) on Horror Boom.  The ABCs of Death trailer was spectacularly gory, but that turned out to be composed entirely of snippets from all the entries in the 26th Director Contest run last year, so it might not count completely. I’m glad that most of the directors got featured—even if the clips flash by pretty fast—because as you know from reading my Horror Boom Picks for the top twenty (out of over 160) entries for the T is for… entries, at least twenty of them were kick-ass great.   If you want to catch up on the first three articles, please do by all means (it turned out to be an insanely time-consuming project, but I don’t regret it). You can find Part 2/5 here and Part 3/5 here.  The final two parts WILL be coming later, though I’m thinking of spreading them out two at a time instead of five at a time.

But I digress.  OK, first up, the (slightly) less offensive and shorter spot for Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines  can be found below. It made me laugh the first time I saw it even though I had an ugly headache at the time. Still makes me smile (you’ll know the funny part when you see it):

Here’s the official plot description (or excuse for the mayhem, this go-round, anyway):

The cutting-edge terror continues when a small mining town hosts the legendary Mountain Man Festival on Halloween, where crowds of costumed party-goers gather for a wild night of music and mischief. But a killer celebration soon gives way to a blood-soaked feeding frenzy when an inbred family of hillbilly cannibals trick and treat themselves to a group of visiting college students who are just dying for a good time…

The DVD/Blu-ray details are a little, ahem, juicier:

Now that horror fans have the backstory on the Hillbilly Cannibals’ “Bloody Beginnings”, the franchise rejoins the infamous disfigured brothers as they return when WRONG TURN 5: BLOODLINES debuts on unrated Blu-ray, DVD, and, for the first time ever, Digital Copy on October 23rd from Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment. This all-new terrifying film boasts the talent of horror movie veteran Doug Bradley (Hellraiser) along with “Game of Thrones”’ Roxanne McKee.

With hours of bonus footage including behind-the-scenes featurettes and commentary “DIE-aries” from director Declan O’Brien (Wrong Turn 4, Sharktopus), WRONG TURN 5: BLOODLINES will give audiences an extra scare this Halloween season. Available on Blu-ray, DVD, and Digital Copy October 23rd.

Special Features
A Day in the Death
Hillbilly Kills
Director’s Die-aries
Audio Commentary by Declan O’Brien

Speaking of “Hillbilly Kills”, here’s the REALLY offensive, gruesome teaser trailer that debuted in the last 24 hours, although it’s closer to a ‘tightly edited Death Reel’ from parts one through four. THEN, they tacked on a fun Director’s DIE-ary that was also shown at SDCC 2012. Almost everywhere but You Tube, they require age-verification, and HOAH! you’ll soon see why. Check it out below…

If you want to go to the official site and see it bigger, click on this link here. It’s the closest they have to an official Wrong Turn 5  site for now anyway, though I’ll be keeping an eye out for an official Facebook page (they did one for the prequel last year, also with a ton of fun stuff).

I am kind of bummed, though, that the DVD cover I voted on a few months ago didn’t get picked, because I thought it was way cooler. Found it:

What’s not to like?

I also really prefer “Bloodbath” instead of “Bloodlines” after the title, especially if this is going to be the ‘the most gruesome Wrong Turn  ever”.  Maybe it had something to do with the inclusion of Doug Bradley in the cast, as a kind of in-joke, but come on, you’re going to pick Bloodlines over BLOODBATH? Unless they’re saving it for the next movie, planning to REALLY out-do themselves, that’s just not acceptable to me. (Mm’kay?}

If you want to see more, our good fiends/friends at Dread Central have a giant  gallery of photos from their on-set visit (to Bulgaria), and it looks like they’re gonna be going with at least SOME practical effects. The only things in the previous entries that have bothered me CGI-wise were a few really shoddy CGI blood squirts that looked one notch above someone drawing them on the frame with a red Sharpie. I know they don’t have an eight-figure budget or anything (see:filming in Bulgaria), but do film-makers who use CGI blood really think we’re not going to be able to tell the difference between that and the real thing? Hey, when they can do a good enough job that we can’t tell the difference between CGI blood and practical blood, fine, but if not, please don’t insult our intelligence.

From the prequel – this happened in the first ten minutes, possibly even before the opening credits. Sold!

Though, speaking of intelligence, looks like I’m one of the last fans to be aware that the family is known as “The Hillicker Brothers” –though I know there was at least one female in Wrong Turn Two:Dead End.  I remember a scene pretty early on of her getting jealous of her brother secretly peeking from the woods and drooling at a naked reality-show bimbo, and then stabbing her so fiercely and so many times that you could see her spine by the time the mutant sister was done. I think she may have done the tongue bite-off at the opening, too, but right now I’m too tired to check.

Guess now it’s down to Three Finger, One-Eye, and Snaggletoof Saw Tooth. Oh well,  keep things entertaining and I’ll overlook that. Declan O’Brien’s Part 3 —he wrote, but did not direct—  did so little for me I think I only watched it once, but he improved a hell of a lot when he wrote and directed the prequel, Bloody Beginnings,  which didn’t try to be anything it wasn’t,  just embraced the horror and gore. Both had some really mean-spirited endings, but best of all, he really seemed to be having fun.

There’s a ton more info on Dread Central about Wrong Turn 5  (going as far back as April). Here’s the link for their index of every piece/headline they’ve done.

Is it October yet?

Ka-BOOM!
“Say hi to the Missus for me.”

Gloriously Sick New Trailer for Alex Chandon’s Inbred (2011): It’s Just So Wrong

Whenever a movie’s tagline could be replaced with “It’s Just So Wrong,” it goes on my watch list (Inbred‘s actual tagline: They Came In Peace But Left In Pieces).

Alex Chandon pitches things perfectly between gory homage and something a little bit different from what we’ve seen many times before. The big difference adding freshness to the material is the way in which the onscreen horror is turned into a bit of a show by the villagers, adding a surreal aspect to proceedings. It’s like seeing a chamber of horrors being touted by P. T. Barnum.

-Kevin Matthews, flickfeast.co.uk

So, you remember Inbred– that UK movie I’ve been raving about since I started this blog, even though all I’ve seen are trailers?  Well, that and plenty of print media giving the movie reviews ranging from glowing to raving. The blurb/quote from the review above sums up why this film has been insanely anticipated by horror fans everywhere for the past year.

Check out the latest red band trailer*, which was actually age-restricted when I first saw it on Dread Central. No such restriction on You Tube, though!

OK, I’ve actually done more than watch trailers. I’ve read plenty of print media giving Inbred reviews ranging from glowing to raving. Online, they’ve also gone the extra mile to promote the film everywhere, including personal responses to my questions (most of my questions are usually a more polite, articulate version of “WHEEEEEENNNN???”) on the official Facebook page,  and a pretty impressive official website I’ve been following since I found it. I’d recommend joining the Inbred  ‘group’ on Facebook for the most up-to-the-minute news; combine that with the enthusiastic Inbred website and you’ve got pretty much everything a fan could want. Once I read the ‘Director’s Statement’ on the site, I was 100% in, especially when he described Inbred  as “the film I would love to sneak in and see aged 14 and feel very naughty doing so. It’s very wrong but very right.”

Done and DONE!

The first teaser trailer, which I literally saw around a year ago as of this writing (soon after Inbred’s debut at the London Frightfest in August 2011),  had me sold off the bat at the very memorable image below:


It’s not just the gore. Oh, don’t get me wrong, that’s a big part of what got my attention, I’m just saying there’s other aspects. That initial trailer had little-to-no dialogue, which made me curious. what… the… FFFUUU— What was  that, a gunshot wound to the head?  Was it an accident, or deliberate? Is the guy turning around because he was going to retaliate, or just in shock? Is he going to stumble blindly around for awhile, or drop to the ground the second after what we saw ends? I’m kind of hoping it was a horrible mistake in a string of shocking events that makes whatever situation the protagonists are in even worse, but I want to know! Do you know how hard it is for a recovered spoiler-whore(you’re talking to one right now) to avoid spoilers for an ENTIRE YEAR?  Three months before the Spatartus: Revenge  season premiere on STARZ and I was falling off that  wagon, shamelessly typing “Spartacus Season Two Spoilers” into the Google search box during weak moments.

The plot description/synopsis (that I read a year ago) as soon as I followed the URL from the trailer also gave me a good gut feeling about the movie. Here is the latest, from the official Inbred site:

A disparate group of young urban offenders and their care workers embark on a community service weekend in the strange, remote Yorkshire village of Mortlake, which prides on keeping itself to itself. A minor incident with some local inbred youths rapidly escalates into a blood-soaked, deliriously warped nightmare for all involved. This is a demented horror film with nowt taken out.

Better, check out this official background, also from the site; it really told me all I needed to know…

INBRED is the warped brain child of UK writer/director Alex Chandon, who is responsible for the independent cult feature films CRADLE OF FEAR (2001) and PERVIRELLA (1997) as well as numerous award winning shorts and music promos.
The script was written in 2009 and it immediately piqued the interest of New Flesh Films, who were looking for a strong feature to launch their company’s slate of productions. Private investors loved the INBRED script and decided to back the movie and so the wheels were set in motion. Alex developed a few drafts of the script and the final draft is co-written by his long time collaborator Paul Shrimpton, who lives in Yorkshire, where the film was eventually set.
It was while staying with Paul that Alex decided that Yorkshire was the perfect location for the film; Paul’s hometown of Thirsk has some stunning locations and a community untouched by film-makers and so they were all eager to help and get involved.
Producer Margaret Milner Schmueck previously worked on the production of Alex’s CRADLE OF FEAR and had in the interim period produced a body of award-winning shorts. Her strong connections with northern crew and talent sources made an interesting fit for INBRED so when Alex invited her on board as delegate producer to head up the production, Split Second Films (splitsecond-films.com) the Midlands based independent production company which Margaret co-founded became the UK production company.
In early June 2010 an 8 week pre-production period started for a 4 week shoot through August 2010. INBRED had a successful 26 day shoot and then the long post production stage went into progress. INBRED has over 170 shots that require some sort of digital visual effects. This process was undertaken by Alex Chandon and a select crew of talented artists and took 6 months to complete.
INBRED premiered at the prestigious FRIGHTFEST FILM FESTIVAL in London, UK in August 2011 to rave reviews and then played at a select few European festivals in late 2011, which also generated great positive feedback, which resulted in Darclight Films becoming the sales agent for INBRED at the very end of 2011.
So we all hope that 2012 is indeed the year of the INBRED!

That’s looking like a distinct possibility! Inbred  finally has a UK DVD/Blu-Ray release date of October 15th, a UK theatrical release on September 21st, and best of all, a US release confirmed for this year. Many fans on various boards are so excited they’re buying a copy, sight unseen (hell, since I have a region-free player, I’d do the same thing if I wasn’t on such a low budget). When a movie is compared favorably to Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive by multiple critics and reviewers, I start to pay attention really fucking fast. Did I mention Alex Chandon is also a genre fan also grew up in the 80s horror boom?

Wait. What’s that? You’d like to see ‘The Inbred Song’, AKA ‘EE BY GUM’,  as (apparently) performed in the actual movie?  Well, okay! It’s worth it for the lyrics alone.

Say, that banjo player looks a little familiar, did he happen to have a memorable moment in most of the trailers?

*Oh, and they’re right, it IS harder to hold my breath for thirty seconds than I assumed  (it’s either the subject matter, me being more out of shape than I thought, or a combination of the two).

Excision (2012) – This Is One Seriously Twisted Red Band Trailer… So What Are You Waiting For?

You’re a very troubled little girl. -William (John Waters)

(Raising her hand to calmly ask a question in Anatomy Class) Can you contract an STD from having sex with a dead person? -Pauline, Excision

Okaaay! Uh… wow. I remember seeing a piece on this movie somewhere; I think the movie might have been in production (or post) at the time. I recall hearing that there weren’t just walk-outs, there were actual PASS-outs, when it played at the 2012 Sydney Film Festival (and one or two other showings).  At some point I added it to my IMDB Watch List. When I saw the image above, it came back to me. Today  I finally saw the full-blown intense Red Band trailer below.  I know I hadn’t seen it before, because I would have remembered John Waters showing up in it (for one).

You might want to put down anything you’re eating before you watch this..

The official website for the film has some lush, vivid stills so twisted I didn’t even consider putting them here; at least one of them, anyway, grossed me out just to look at. If/when you look at the “Stills” section of the elaborate website, you’ll know the one I mean as soon as you see it. Gah.  There’s a ton of media, both stunning and grotesque, and news galore on the official site. There’s less NSFW content –but loads of updates– on the official Facebook page for the movie.

If you’re looking forward to seeing Excision as much as I am (hey, why are you looking at me like that? Don’t judge me!) then you’ll be happy to know the release date for the DVD and Blu-ray is coming up faster than Pauline’s lunch in the trailer you watched. OK, maybe not that quickly, but soon! Here’s the official Press Release:

On October 16th, Anchor Bay Films presents the harrowing coming-of-age horror film, and instant cult classic, Excision, from writer/director Richard Bates, Jr., which the Sundance Channel deemed, “Without question the most mind-blowing grotesque film to screen at this year’s fest.” Boasting an impressive and eclectic cast including AnnaLynne McCord (The CW’s “90210,” Transporter 2, Fired Up, FX’s “Nip/Tuck”), Traci Lords (Blade, Zack & Miri Make a Porno, Cry Baby), Ariel Winter (ABC’s “Modern Family”), Roger Bart (Hostel Part II, Law Abiding Citizen, American Gangster), Malcolm McDowell (The Artist, A Clockwork Orange, Rob Zombie’s Halloween, HBO’s “Entourage”) and cameos including Ray Wise, director John Waters, and Academy Award® winner Marlee Matlin, Excision comes to Blu-ray™ for an SRP of $24.99 and DVD for an SRP of $22.98.

Excision turned critics’ stomachs as well as heads, garnering much attention at festivals this past year. Noel Murray of AV Club calls it, “One of the damnedest ‘adolescent misfit’ movies you’ll ever see — for those who can stomach the splatter, that is,” and Chris Bumbray of JoBlo exclaims,
“While it’s more than a little sick, and will likely leave you queasy by the time the credits roll, Excision is nonetheless a truly unique horror ride into the scariest of all place:s the mind of a teenaged misfit.” Excision holds a 94% “want to see” rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Based on a short film of the same name, Excision follows a disturbed and delusional high school student, Pauline (AnnaLynne McCord), who, with aspirations of a career in medicine, goes to extremes to earn the approval of her controlling mother (Traci Lords). While dealing with being an outcast teenager and obsession over curing her sister’s cystic fibrosis, Pauline becomes continually deranged as her fascination with surgery and the human flesh grows into something abysmal and demonic.

Bonus feature on the Excision Blu-ray™ and DVD: audio commentary with writer/director Richard Bates, Jr., and AnnaLynne McCord.

Thanks, Official Press Release (and Anchor Bay)! Nice to start the week with some good news. I have no idea how they got stunning AnnaLynne McCord to look so terrible; when I watched the trailer I didn’t recognize her until her credit came up. In some of the freaky dream sequences/fantasies I can recognize her, with all the glamour make-up on and fetish costumes. I’m confident she call pull it off; in addition to some of the rave reviews her acting in this movie is getting, she played a teenaged, breathtakingly gorgeous but vile, sick little bitch on Season Five of FX’s Nip/Tuck who, among other malignant things, taught an eleven-year-old girl how to make herself throw up to keep her weight down, because 80 lbs was ‘too fat’.*

I’m also tweeting the first clip that was released. Remember when you’re watching it that A. that is not an actual dead bird, it’s only a movie and B. not to watch while you’re eating anything …or feeling queasy already, because it even made me wince a little.  I’m tweeting it too, though, mainly because the clip’s title is “Bird Surgery” and maybe I can come up with some corn, hack-y joke.

Whoop! Sorry, I seem to have accidentally posted some images of the lead actress in an upcoming unrated French horror movie instead of… no, wait, I was right the first time, these *are* in fact some images of the lead actress from “Excision!”

*which she did sheerly –and successfully– out of spite, because she hated the girl’s mother (for sleeping with HER mother, mainly …longer story than you’d probably care for right now). Her horrible character also banged the girl’s father for the same reason. Oh, I’m looking forward to posting my list of Ten F*cked-Up Things That Happened On Nip/Tuck. That piece just wrote itself (if anything, I had trouble narrowing it down to ten)!

Chemical Peel (2012) – ‘Coming This Halloween’ Trailer of the Week

Quick note about the header: lately, there’s an influx of pretty awesome Red Band trailers, Indie trailers, and just plain cool trailers. So many, in fact, that I’ve had trouble sticking to one “Red Band Trailer of the Week” and one “Trailer of the Week”. This time of year is when horror movie ad campaigns begin to ramp up the Coming This Halloween advertising. So this way, I don’t have to whittle the choices down to two ‘Trailers of the Week’, which means I do not have to keep bumping certain ones even though I really want to feature them all before too much time passes (yay).

So, here we go. I saw the title to this movie and got interested; even more so when the filmmakers described it as ‘a cross between Cabin Fever and The Mist‘.  I thought the comparison to The Mist would include some really cool, creative, even B-movie monsters, but it seems to be less monster-ish and more …literal.  Click the link to check out this NSFW trailer for  Hank Braxton’s Chemical Peel on Vimeo!

Official  Synopsis: A bachelorette party turns into a nightmare when the women are trapped in their secluded home while the wilderness around them burns.  Eeeeek.  The official website is sort of skimpy, but worth checking out.  The trailer also evokes the frightening flashback scenes in Tobe Hooper’s  Masters of Horror gut-punch of an episode Dance of the Dead. If you haven’t seen that entry, by the way, it’s one of the best in the series. The trailer for that is below (embedded this time) and included bits of those scenes (especially the beginning of the trailer):

And yes, it is as fucked-up and horrifying as it looks!  That’s another piece, though. Chemical Peel looks like it has serious potential, and I hope the filmmakers make good on their promise to deliver us the flick by Halloween 2012!

Red Band Trailer of the Week – The Revenant (2009)

It’s actually embarrassing that this breakout horror-comedy somehow slipped under my horror geek radar till now. Well, I saw on my IMDB account that I added it to my watch list at some point in the last year, so I must have been really tired or inebriated (or both) when I added it. Hell, it probably was in Fangoria last year or the year before, and I read about it then filed it away, or it was one of the rare issues I didn’t read from cover-to-cover after it showed in the mail. Check out this very entertaining brand-new Red Band trailer!

C’mon, now how fucking cool is that? Too bad that can’t be used as a tagline, because it’d sure fit and definitely put asses in seats. The Revenant: How Fucking Cool Is That?

I’m guessing somewhere along the line, something did not go as planned here…

The Revenant roared through the Festival circuit in 2009, winning a ton of audience awards. The official website is right here, and is packed with information and fun stuff. I do recommend skipping the Comments section if you haven’t seen The Revenant and are planning to, because the section is teeming with spoilers from people who have seen it, most wanting to discuss the ending.

Here’s the official plot description from the “Press” section of the official website…

A horror comedy in the vein of SHAUN OF THE DEAD and ZOMBIELAND, the film tells the story of a soldier (David Anders, from TV’s 24 and Vampire Diaries) who is killed in Iraq and then finds himself resurrected as a “revenant,” or one who has returned from the dead. He turns to his slacker best friend (Chris Wylde, of Descent and The Ten) to help him manage his newfound thirst for blood, and the duo quickly realize that this zombie-fied state is a perfect opportunity to become vigilante crime fighters. However, their adventure quickly becomes more complicated and bloody than they expected as the movie escalates into a series of unexpected and horrifying twists.

Here’s an extended (4+ minute) clip. A little more conversation and a little less action than the above trailer, but it’s pretty cool. Check it out below:

I’m going to have to get way more proactive about local film festivals. Oh, and yes, 2009 is right; it took THIS GODDAMNED LONG for the flick to get a distribution deal. Well, as fucking frustrating as it is, the movie is in good company; The Cabin in the Woods, Trick R’ Treat, and Army of Darkness had to go through the same bullshit (and I don’t think they even got the chance to go through the festival circuit). I doubt I have to convince anyone reading this, though, that when they finally do get a chance, the wait is worth it for us.  But man, time slows to a crawl when you’re trying to be patient!

Heh!

Heh!