Oh, it is freakin’ ON! Check out the big red link below to get all excited about The ABCs Of Death 2. Also, looks like we’ll be able to get our review up before the sequel hits theaters (we’re on the review for the original ABCs of Death, promise).
Here’s to hoping they will bring back Xavier Gens (X is for XXL segment), Lee Hardcastle (T is for Toilet) for another awesome, fun, jaw-dropping claymation short, Jason Eisener (‘Y is for Youngbuck’), Timo Tjahjanto (who did the standout short L is for Libido), Jake West* (‘Speed’), Adam Wingard (‘Quack’)and Marcel Sarmiento (“Dogfight”). We could, however, definitely pass on a return engagement for a few, such as Yoshihiro Nishimura and Noboru Iguchi …what a mess those were (and this coming from a Tokyo Gore Police fan.
Awesome additional poster art for the first film.
*and Ti West wore out his welcome completely with one of the laziest entries, “M is for Miscarraige”. In fact, anything that involved a toilet, other than Lee Hardcastle’s short, really, well… stunk. Bathroom (X is for XXL, E is for Exterminate)? Not a problem.
I’ve covered this 26-part horror anthology film since July 2012 (I was actually sold the instant I heard the pitch/set-up), and after much frustrating bumping around with the release date, The ABCs of Death will be available On Demand (The latest trailers say “Everywhere On Demand”, but obviously, you’ll need to check with your cable provider) beginning 12:01 AM January 31st, followed by a limited theatrical release on March 8th. After a 6-month wait, you think we’re not waiting up to watch it after midnight Wednesday, the second it shows on the menu?
They did finally release the list of every director, their letter, and the title of their segment. All we’ve known since late last year is Xavier Gens’ “X is For XXL” (supposed to be a huge standout, and gore-off) and of course, “T” contest winner Lee Hardcastle with his Claymation stand-out “T is for Toilet” (you can see it by hitting the link to this piece, some friendly advice. do NOT watch while eating, on hallucinogenics, feeling emotionally unstable, or if you have a rare fear of and/or nightmares about hungry carnivorous toilets).
There’s some of my favorite directors (especially international ones) at the helm here to sweeten the already-great set-up, and the segment titles alone are enough to tip me off that I shouldn’t watch while feeling nauseous. Ready? Here’s the 26! To give an element of surprise, and also because I’ve got a deadline zooming at me head-on, I kept the listing in alphabetical order of the directors, rather than the letters. The movie will be showing them in alphabetical order, though!
Kaare Andrews — segment “V is for Vagitus” Angela Bettis — segment “E is for Exterminate”
Hélène Cattet — segment “O is for Orgasm”
Ernesto Díaz Espinoza — segment “C is for Cycle”
Jason Eisener — segment “Y Is for Youngbuck”*
Bruno Forzani — segment “O is for Orgasm”
Adrián García Bogliano — segment “B Is for Bigfoot”
Xavier Gens — segment “X Is for XXL”*
Lee Hardcastle — Contest Winning segment “T Is for Toilet”* Noboru Iguchi — segment “F is for Fart”
Thomas Cappelen Malling — segment “H is for Hyrdo-Electric Diffusion”
Jorge Michel Grau — segment “I is for Ingrown” Anders Morgenthaler — segment “K is for Klutz” Yoshihiro Nishimura — segment “Z is for Zetsumetsu”* Banjong Pisanthanakun — segment “N is for Nuptials” *
Simon Rumley — segment “P Is for Pressure” Marcel Sarmiento — segment “D Is for Dogfight” *
Jon Schnepp — segment “W is for WTF?”
Srdjan Spasojevic — segment “R Is for Removed”
Timo Tjahjanto — segment “L is for Libido” *
Andrew Traucki — segment “G is for Gravity” Nacho Vigalondo — segment “A Is for Apocalypse”
Jake West — segment “S is for Speed” Ti West — segment “M Is for Miscarriage” Ben Wheatley — segment “U Is for Unearthed” Adam Wingard — segment “Q Is for Quack”*
Yudai Yamaguchi — segment “J is for Jidai-geki” *
We also took the liberty of marking (with an asterisk ) some of the segments that we’ve read consistently –and from several sources– were supposed to be especially impressive stand-outs …with the critics and the crowd’s biggest audience re-actions.
Oh, we’re sure those aren’t the only nine out of twenty-six good ones; these are just the ones that get mentioned the most. I wouldn’t be surprised (especially judging from some of the still photos and titles) if many of the rest are too outrageous or offensive to describe. I believe four minutes is the time limit for each segment, so if there’s a few that you find boring or stupid, you won’t have to wait long until a good one comes up. If even half of them are fun, we’ll be happy. I know there’s a few failed attempts, but with 26 segments and directors like Xavier Gens, Lee Hardcastle, and half the team responsible for the Thai horror classic Shutter (Banjong Pisanthanakun) in there, fine with me.
If you’d rather have as few surprises as possible and know the exact order of the ways to die, here’s the ‘spoiler version’ of the above list. Just high-light to read.
And there’s PLENTY more information on The ABCs of Death where that came from! Keep your eyes peeled…er, perhaps not the right phrase at the right time. Watch this space. That’s better!
Oh, and if you have been eagerly anticipating the movie like I have, and keeping an eye out of reviews and news alerts, see if you can guess which clip is from the Xavier Gens segment “X is for XXL”, which almost every review I’ve read pointed out as one of the most memorable and gruesome, in which a woman unhappy with her plus-size figure decides to do something about it …all at once.
“Warning! Contains Graphic Violence, Nudity, Graphic Content, Not Appropriate For Anyone Under”-–YOU’RE ON! You had me at “26 Directors – 26 Ways To Die,” ABCs of Death Red Band Trailer. I’ve been psyched for this since July. Finally, the trailer for the film is here (though I loved the one composed of contest entries for the letter T, and am still posting my Top 20 Picks). The gloriously gory claymation horror short “T Is For Toilet” from Lee Hardcastle (which was the winner), “T is for Temptation,” and “T is for Table” are still the ones I really wish could be included in the feature film too, as they hold up to multiple viewing and still make me shake my head and smile. For some reason “T is for Table” actually still frightens me, even though I was also practically jumping up and down the first time I saw it, it was so perfect. The short even has a little bit of a Final Destination vibe to it; though I can’t really articulate intelligently why with all this over-the-counter cold medicine in me, I hope to later.
Before I post the trailer, let me just point out that I wanted to also put RED BAND TRAILER OF THE MONTH! in the title, but it wouldn’t fit. FUCK YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER! would have done it too (in all caps, with multiple exclamation points) but some of my relatives are just now checking out Horror Boom for the first time, and they wouldn’t be mad, but they’d be disappointed in me (which as anyone who has ever heard this from a parent knows, is much worse). You have to admit, that’s a great tagline for something that you have to be a legal adult to go see, where you already know what you’re getting is sick. The ABCs of Death: Fuck Yeah, Motherfucker.*
Oh, and if you have been early anticipating the movie like I have, and keep an eye out of reviews and news alerts, see if you can guess which clip is from the French horror director Xavier Gens “X is for XXL”, which almost every review I’ve read pointed out as one of the most memorable and gruesome, in which a woman unhappy with her plus-size decides to do something about it …all at once. Hint: See featured photo.
OK, I wanted to get this up ASAP. More later, including some really NSFW official promo stills Magnet (the film’s distributor) has released to the press.
Oh, I have another great tagline that’d fit and put asses in seats. The ABCs of Death: It’s Just So Wrong.
*yeah, I’ve seen 21 Jump Street with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, that’s where I got it. Did you know there’s a rumor (that in probability is true, I just haven’t verified it yet, I saw it on The Hollywood Reporter in June) that Aaron Paul is going to be in the sequel? I am so there.
The stand-outs so far (according to several sources) were Xavier Gens (who made the brutal Frontier/s and The Divide; his name always gets dropped, and rightly so, when people mention ‘New French Extremist Horror’) and his segment called “X to XXL”, where a woman, “takes the ultimate action to reduce her body size”.
“T is for Talk” (2011), directed and co-written by Peter Haynes, was a top vote-getter in the “26th Director” ABCs of Death contest. Of course, that was back when the voting window for the contest was still open, which I managed to totally miss, thus this series to share the best other shorts with a wider audience. I’m pretty sure you’ll see why; it packs a hell of a wallop into four minutes. This is definitely one of the most intense entries, and isn’t something you should watch if you’re NOT in the mood for something dark, nasty…and very original. Oh, and if you have a pounding headache, I recommend waiting until your head’s back to normal (you’ll see why pretty fast). Check out the very NSFW, intense “T is for Talk”, from New Zealand, below!
Damn! A prequel to that short could be interesting in the right hands. Anyway, that’s eighteen down, seven to go (I think. I’ll do the math later). You can go back and read the first three posts, each with five picks either embedded or linked–some were only on Vimeo or the official voting contest page via the ‘related’ links below, or you can watch the first five entries (plus the introduction) here, the second batch of entries here, and the third bunch of five entries—which has one of the sickest entries in the series– here. I also went and posted a link (I couldn’t embed it) to one that I meant to post, but missed, a couple of weeks ago back in September, which you can check out here. Enjoy, and expect the last eight entries by the time of the full-length movie’s release, which should give me plenty of time since the release date got bumped way the fuck back to January 31st for VOD, and motherfucking March for a limited theatrical run (sigh). I read three reviews from sources I trust, and they said it was kind of a mixed bag; some were more toilet humor/gross-out* than scary or gory (or worth four minutes of your time).
Anyway, now that reviews are coming in, the reviewers said there were some great segments that made The ABCs of Death worth sitting through. The stand-outs so far (according to several sources) were Xavier Gens (who made the brutal Frontier/s and The Divide; his name always gets dropped, and rightly so, when people mention ‘New French Extremist Horror’) and his segment called “X to XXL”, where a woman, “takes the ultimate action to reduce her body size”. My guess it she does a little whittling down at home, taking matters into her own hands by using a sharp blade.** Another standout is supposed to be “L is for Libido,” dealing with (I am not making this up) a psychotic masturbation contest (worse than a biscuit party, I assume) –gee, how could THAT go horribly wrong in an unrated horror movie?–that ‘ends with sick and deadly results.’ I’m not proud of admitting this, but …SOLD!
Right now, I really want to see what Banjong Pisathanakun (half the team from Shutter and Alone ) does with his four minutes …and with what letter of the alphabet and title. N is for Natre? S is for Siamese Twin?
Well, that’s seventeen down and eight to go! More to come, definitely before the holidays (and probably sooner).
*I wonder if any of them had to (or needed to for the purpose of rating them, no-one held a gun to my head making me watch all of them, it was just too late in my project to back-pedal by then) sit through “T is for Testosterone Replacement Therapy”, “T is for Tentacle Rape“, or “T is for Tampon”? Those weren’t anywhere near scary, they didn’t have a plot, two out of the three were so misogynistic I felt like punching whoever was responsible for them in the teeth, and they didn’t even try to be entertaining –on any level. I got the feeling they only made the films because they had some serious issues and/or really filthy sexual fetishes to work through. Through the years, I’ve picked up on the fact that self-indulgence usually doesn’t make for an end product entertaining for anyone but the artist. Consider yourself warned if you’re somehow still compelled to watch them …especially if you’re eating at the time.
**For a while now, I actually have been fleshing out (no pun intended, I should get of my tired ass and take a stab at grabbing the thesaurus before half my comments sound like The Cryptkeeper introducing a story, boils and ghouls ) an outline for a short horror story, where a woman with some serious issues hates her body –and doesn’t have the money to go pay for lipo or another medical procedure. At the end, she really goes over the edge and tries the do-it-yourself approach with craving knives and maybe a vacuüm cleaner or other suction device. The scariest part? I’m afraid if I Googled or otherwise researched this, there will turn out to be not one but a ton of cases of people who already tried to do it. Self-surgery, not writing a short story about it, I mean. There’s no way that’s going to end well…
Thia is, as you probably figured out already, number one in a series of ten very, very scary trailers. These are ones that I regretted watching when I was home alone, and I deeply regretted watching alone (or was I?) and after dark. I have amusing stories (that were not at all goddamned funny at the time) regarding the ridiculously bad timing I had watching some of it.
Grow up in the 80s like I did? Did most of the teachers at your middle/high school basically convince you that you would die in a nuclear holocaust before you graduated? Did they make watching The Day After pretty much required watching?
This movie is supposed to be brutal as hell, and though I haven’t gotten my copy yet or seen anything but trailers and clips, I’m pretty sure no-one is exaggerating. Here’s the first trailer I saw; definitely called an official trailer by several websites, including the official site for the movie. It actually appears to be the opening of the film. I know I got chills seeing it.
Grow up in the 80s like I did? Did you go to a school where most of the teachers at your middle/high school basically convinced you that you would die in a nuclear holocaust before you graduated? Did they make watching The Day After pretty much required watching so, at the very least, you could have a student assembly the next day so you could discuss it? If so, this might freak you out just a tiny bit…
This movie is supposed to be brutal as hell, and though I haven’t gotten my copy yet or seen anything but trailers and clips*, I’m pretty sure no-one is exaggerating. When the movie’s tagline is:
THE LUCKY ONES DIED IN THE BLAST
well, you get that gut feeling that maybe you should just rent the movie, not buy it. Also, that it might be gee, I don’t know, kind of depressing. A little bleak, perhaps, and maybe I should use my common sense about the timing of watching it. Nope, I still ordered it so I could get it on the day it was released (April 17, 2012). I didn’t put it together until I was listening to the commentary that it was directed by Xavier Gens. He directed a little French horror movie called Frontiere/s, which I own but cannot watch after dark. Well, I can watch it after dark, it’d just be a really bad fucking idea if I wanted to fall asleep before dawn.
The above is the first trailer I saw- definitely called an official trailer by several websites, including the official site for the movie. It actually appears to be the opening of the film. I know I got chills seeing it. Maybe it isn’t as insomnia-inducing if you didn’t grow up until after the 80s.
Maybe.
*I saw it (review to follow) and it was darker than I thought. Then again, I didn’t put it together until I was listening to the commentary that it was directed by Xavier Gens. He directed a French horror movie called Frontiere/s (2008), just, oh, a teensy bit scary and gruesome. One of the most nightmarish movies I’ve ever seen, that’s all …which I own but to this day cannot watch after dark. Well, I can watch it after dark, it’d just be a really bad fucking idea if I wanted to fall asleep before dawn.
If even half of them are fun, we’ll be happy. I know there’s a few failed attempts, but with 26 segments and directors like Xavier Gens, Lee Hardcastle, and half the team responsible for the Thai horror classic Shutter (Banjong Pisanthanakun) in there, fine with me.
HORROR BOOM 