‘American American Horror Story Asylum – Ryan Murphy Talks Season Finale, (SPOILERS) Plus Even ‘More Ambitious’ Season 3 — EW.Com EXCLUSIVE by Tim Stack

OK, my eyes are still red from crying after the Sister Jude segment–I had to pause the TV for over five minutes before I could even fast-forward to the next act*, so I’ll hold off on writing more myself for now–and EW.com‘s Tim Stack has a ton of exclusive info from Ryan Murphy. Oooh, can’t wait till Season 3. This finale, though, was perfect… and the last scene gave me chills. Click the link for some REALLY interesting (and thoughtful) scoop from EW.com!

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*Though I perked up seeing what became of now-Cardinal Howard. That was the first time in the episode I emphatically said loudly, “Yes. GOOD!”

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American Horror Story Asylum Fans, Sound Off! Poll: With Only The Finale Left, Who Will You Miss Most?

Though characters have been dropping dead (or killing each other/themselves) since New Year’s, who will you miss the most after the story has ended? Note: not all characters here are heroes and heroines, some are just so evil they could be entertaining. A couple, let’s face it, needed to die. Also, some got killed off before this poll was created. We’d really like to know who you’re going to miss.

I miss her already!

I miss HER already! How about you?

We know it’s hard to trim it down to one character, so vote for up to three. Due to the fact we didn’t have room for more than ten, we couldn’t put separate categories for, say, Sister Jude and Judy Martin, or Sister Mary Eunice and demon-possessed Sister Mary Eunice. We’re pretty sure we covered it all, but there’s room for you to write-in your vote if we missed someone.   If we get a lot of response to this, we have several more fun polls (Scariest Scene? Most Shocking Moment? Nastiest Death? Character most likely to appear in your nightmares? Sexiest Scene?) that were really fun to jot down. Hey, we’re more than happy to have the First Only Annual American Horror Story Asylum Viewer’s Choice Awards and post the winners.  Shit, I’ll post polls myself every day, no shortage there!

Either way, start with our poll here and tell us who you’ll miss seeing every week on American Horror Story Asylum!

Oh, and it’s anonymous. If there’s more than a couple write-in votes, we’ll put a second one up for recurring (recurring=shows up in two or more episodes) characters (Shelley, Bloody Face Jr., Leigh “Psycho Santa” Emerson, Percy the compulsive masturbator guy,  Frank, etc.). Vote away, please!

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Check Out American Horror Story Asylum Teasers For Episode 12, “Continuum’ (Five Things To Expect – Zap2it)

Ok, I wouldn’t call these major spoilers, they don’t give away any big shockers, but these are GREAT teasers for the penultimate episode of American Horror Story Asylum. My brain is still turning over these little mysteries the piece teases…

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Find out (well, figure  out – this is five things to expect, they don’t just blurt shit out) what face returns to Briarcliff, and if that character, or a scary new one, have it in for Sister Jude. Also, who or what from Lana’s past haunts her in her appearance in 1969! Click below and start speculating…

‘American Horror Story: Asylum’ episode 12 spoilers: Five things to expect from ‘Continuum’ – Zap2it.

 

Oh! And you get to see Evan Peters in his underwear! Though he may also be wearing a little blood in one scene, too (we don’t know whose).

No way THIS is going to end well...

No way THIS is going to end well…

 

American Horror Story Asylum Episode 11: “Spilt Milk” Ryan Murphy on Dylan McDermott’s Shocking Opening Scene + Even More Clues To Season 3 — EW.Com EXCLUSIVE

EW.com: Obviously Dylan is living in his father’s house. Is he using his father’s dungeon?
Ryan Murphy: Yes. You will see that in the next two episodes.

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Ooooo!  Do we get to see where he keeps his big stash of CRACK, too?  For some reason, we weren’t shocked by the opening scene. Not sure what this says about us, but within 30 seconds of the cleavage-y, expensive prostitute’s appearance we knew what her specialty was.  But there’s some shockers from Ryan Murphy here… more coming soon!

Lana: I am tough …but I’m no cookie.

Ten Shocking Things We Learned From American Horror Story Asylum Episode Ten, “The Name Game” (Major Spoilers)

Believe it or not, no pun intended on the title. Yes, Sister  Jude was forcibly given an especially, deliberately brutal shock treatment session, but we spent the episode either with our jaws on the floor at reveal after reveal, sudden deaths,  lines and acts that I was surprised got by the FX notes department, laughing with glee, or loudly exclaiming profanities. They turned the juice up extra high on us, that’s for sure. Ole Mrs. Horror Boom here somehow took notes while simultaneously sounding like a less coherent, female version of the routine Eddie Murphy did back in the 80s about talking back to the screen in movie theaters. “The Name Game” came close to pure gold other than a couple of brief glitches that’ll be covered in the “Stray Thoughts” section to be added before the next episode, after I grab some sleep.–just wanted to make sure I got the usual list published first. So let’s go! Gabba Gabba HEY, Pepper!

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1. Our Pepper was framed! In her own words (during a really great monologue that leaves Dr. Arden shaking, his ego shattered): “Dr. Arden, you still see me as microcephalic. No-one takes a pinhead seriously. When my sister’s husband drowned her baby and sliced his ears off, he told everybody that I did it. They tied me up and paraded me in front of a judge. He took one look at the shape of my head and I was locked up for good. That’s how it works with us freaks. We get blamed for everything.”

She’s destroyed you, and now she’s destroyed me.

 

2. The cold open rockets from good to great as soon as we realize Pepper isn’t scared of Dr. Nazi. In fact, by the time the cold open is over, he’s scared of her.  Ha-ha! How’s that  feel, Hans, you cowardly prick? Our favorite pinhead calmly, evenly informs him that she has been sent back to protect Grace, and lays out how this is going to work. THEN Pepper tells him “the others” (the aliens whose intelligence he was so impressed by in Episode 9) had been watching his “clumsy experiments” and had a good hearty laugh at him and his ‘barbaric practices’ (I wish there was a way– and I doubt that I’m alone her–, that somehow this whole sequence could have lasted twenty minutes). Anyway, after destroying his ego and pride, she laid the situation out for him: “But if something happens to Grace in here, and she is harmed in any way, there won’t be anyone else to blame. They’ll take you, open up your head, and stir your brain with a fork. And when you’re returned, you’ll experience firsthand how they treat us freaks. I’ll take care of Grace. Why don’t you go to your whore nun, have her soothe your deflated ego?”

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Though Dr. Nazi lied like a rug when he hastily returned to revive Kit (“There was no visitation,” he said, but didn’t make much eye contact with Kit) and appeared composed, we see in brief flashback that by the end of the above speech, he was left slumped, panting (per the closed captions) and covering his face with shaking hands. Later in the episode, we have confirmation that yes, Dr. Nazi took her very seriously indeed, as that was the end of his experiments (we watched him prove it). Whatever scraps of his ego and hopes that Sister Mary-Demon hadn’t already damaged beyond repair, Pepper grabbed, threw on the floor and stomped on.  Also, the fact that Pepper’s been charged with protecting Grace explains why she was taken when the pattern for the others taken (Alma and Grace) was that they’d recently had sex with Kit, and she didn’t. So glad that turned out to not be a plot-hole.

“You are one. Sick. Twist.” -Kit to Dr. Thredson

 

 

3. One source of ours (who only gave us the below one tip, phew) was apparently full of shit, as their tip was:  the dirt that Dr. Arden was using to ‘blackmail’  the Monsignor was that he was a sex addict.  Speaking of “one sick twist,” we learned he was in fact a virgin, and even though he knew he shouldn’t have (vows of purity and all that) and did try to resist, she wore that all down pretty fast. Sister Mary Demon ground all over him and soon he wasn’t as emphatic while telling her, “no… I must not… stop… don’t… stop,” and he started breathing harder when Sister Mary Demon peeled off her habit and revealed that she was wearing the now-notorious red slip. OK, we want to be accurate here but not cross the line into trashy, we’ll do our best. It began when he tried to begin the traditional exorcism (“I cast thee out in the name of...”) but that ended within seconds as Sister Mary Demon shrugged him away and laughed at the joke, telling him, “Good one, father. Wanna hear mine?”  She began a dirty limerick that ended with, “His mighty dick/ was inches thick/He called it Salamander.” When he tried to clumsily continue the exorcism, Sister Mary tossed him across the room onto the bed (without touching him),  and asked salaciously, “How about yours, Father? Is yours …inches thick?”   and wasted no time  crudely seducing him and getting about as verbally graphic as FX could let the writers. The icing on the cake was Dr. Nazi walking in on them JUST as Timothy finally, despite himself (I feel like a pervert just describing this) moaned very loudly as he got off,  but with the worst possible timing for everyone. Everyone, that is, except Sister Mary Demon, who–talk about “one sick twist”– seemed to have planned the timing as she was urging the Monsignor, “Not yet… wait…” RIGHT until Dr. Nazi walked in and saw everything, including the Monsignor’s happy  (or not-so-happy) ending.  Furthermore, it’s going to take poor Monsignor years of therapy (at best) before he doesn’t associate orgasm with suddenly noticing an imposing,  bald elderly man in a doctor’s jacket standing in his line of sight, glaring venomously at him (assuming, after that icky timing, that Father Timothy ever feels like even having sex with himself, let alone another person, for the next decade or so).  I think they even made eye contact. Ugh. If Dr. Nazi had the tiniest grain of a soul, morality, or humanity left in him after Pepper tells him what a joke he really is, anything that was left died (painfully, we can hope) inside him forever at that moment. We learned that because…

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4.  Later, after the big dance number in Jude’s head, Dr. Nazi looked really  depressed as  he trudged into the Rasper Zone in the woods for a rare afternoon feeding, pushing the wheelbarrow full of large chunks of raw meat (Sister Mary Demon tagging along beside him). He half-heartedly tossed rasper-chow out, around the edges of their wooded area. All delusions of grandeur, power, and his God-complex were gone; instead his demeanour seemed closer to that of a small boy who had recently been informed his entire family had been killed in a car-wreck and he had to go live in an orphanage.  Then the raspers lurched out for their meal, and Dr. Nazi suddenly produced a gun and began joylessly executing them by shooting them in the back of the head (I counted four dead). When he started picking them off, Sister Mary-Demon looked like she’d gotten a surprise gift even as he announced to her in a lifeless voice that the experiment was over.  When he put the gun to his head, Sister Mary Demon watched with amused interest to see whether he would pull the trigger or not. Fortunately, Dr. Nazi didn’t— Ryan Murphy isn’t going to end such an amazing storyline (and character arcs that were all at once successfully swooping, fun, horrifying, and believable) without one hell of a pay-off  …and did we ever  get one at the episode’s staggering close. Instead he broke into sobs, collapsed to his knees, and asked Sister Mary Demon if she knew how much it had hurt him to lose her. She’s disgusted, tells him he’s pitiful, pushes his clinging arms away as he begs her to have pity, and it was satisfying to see him doing the begging when he’d so enjoyed making women beg him for mercy for nine episodes. He curls up, weeping and broken.


You have no secrets from me.

5.  We learned that Sister Mary’s (truncated) master plan and goal (which Lily Rabe and Ryan Murphy had both promised did indeed exist and would be revealed) included attaching herself to Monsignor (“You are mine now”) and thus rising in the hierarchy of the church …together.  Bishop…cardinal…dare we even say… POPE.  “The desires of the flesh are nothing compared to the rewards of power and ambition,” she tells a grim Monsignor Timothy. “I know you’re weak, but I’m strong enough for both of us.”  Besides the everyday chaos she enjoyed causing, Sister Mary Demon also delighted in the idea of next giving Jude (after the brutal ECT)  a trans-orbital lobotomy for *cough* therapeutic benefits, and to “crack that skull open like a walnut” (because we suppose frying half her brain like an egg wasn’t enough).

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“Ravage Me Red …Ravish Me Red…”

 

6. Speaking of that sad development, we learned Jessica Lange had another heart-wrenching monologue left in her… or rather, they had another written  for her, as I’ll never doubt her acting ability again. They write ’em for Ms. Lange, she nails them shut. This time she nearly levelled us during her visit with Mother Claudia when it became clear much of her memory and sanity had been destroyed from the abuse heaped on her. (We’ll transcribe it later). This led us to learning. that…

7.  Judy (or as Sister Mary Demon has cruelly designated her, Patient Number G2573) is clinging to the scraps of sanity she has left,especially trying to focus on matching names to faces; thank God one of the memories she retained is that Lana was unfairly locked up (by her), and she must keep trying to explain that Lana does NOT belong in Briarcliff.

“Anyone else have a bone to pick with me?”

 

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8.  In the “really  shitty news department”  we learn that Dr. T/Bloody Face (who has one of the best moments in the episode as he makes his entrance into the common room at Briarcliff to Screaming Jay Hawkins’ “I Put A Spell On You”) has changed his plans. Sister Mary-Demon must have told him that Lana’s DIY abortion didn’t take. His new, somehow more horrible plan, isn’t to kill her, not with the baby inside her–he tells her that as long as that baby is inside her, she’ll stay alive. When Lana asks if he’ll kill her as soon as the baby is born,  Dr. T explains his new plans to make sure she breastfeeds him for at least a year… no wire monkey mother for the son of Bloody Face (or so he thinks). Oh, and because that’s not bad enough, Sister Mary Demon offered him a permanent position at Briarcliff, which he was happy to accept (and yes, he reveals what we all strongly suspected–Sister Mary Demon untied him).  Later, we learn more about his new agenda.  Next goal?  To get the location of the taped confession out of Kit with the help of a straitjacket and some sodium pentothal (AKA truth serum) from Dr. Nazi’s office. Instead he follows the cries of a female in pain –you know he loves that  sound.  This leads him to discover Grace in labor (with Pepper calmly helping, telling Dr. T she’s crowning). This (understandably) catches even him off guard, but he recovers quickly enough to put this new weird discovery into play. He plans to use the son (after he’s told the father is Kit) as a bargaining chip. No need for sodium pentothal yet.  When it came to getting the information on the location of the tape reel, Dr. T. counted on Kit’s “Savior complex,” especially when it comes to women and children, being stronger than his utter hatred for Thredson. Dr. T did accurately analyze Kit at some point, apparently.  Kit  finally caved when Dr. T showed him his baby boy and gave him an ultimatum (we don’t hear the choice he gives Kit; in all fairness, he could have threatened the baby (though I doubt Pepper will let that happen, Kit didn’t know it). Thankfully, we then learned…

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9.  Lana was proactive and moved the blanket-wrapped confession reel to a new, undisclosed location, wisely not telling ANYONE where it was, to protect herself and Kit. She wanted to exonerate Kit and uncover Thredson as the real Bloody Face, but while she’d become allies with Kit, she made sure to also cover her ass… and Kit’s. She told Dr. T if he hurt Kit OR her, she’d find a way to get that tape to the police. Dr T. looks furious but also taken by surprise. “You know I can do it, Oliver. I’m goddamned plucky, remember?”  Oh HEYALL yes! That’s more like it!

“Do you know your name?”

 

10.  The Angel of Death (played by Frances Conroy) didn’t come to Timothy (who had been ‘calling’ her) to give him her kiss of death. We see a flashback to what happened right after episode 9 ended, and it’s nothing so simple. Instead…

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Monsignor, up on the cross:  Have you come for me? Why are you here?
Dark AngelI came because you have more work to do. The devil is here in Briarcliff, in your favorite young nun. You must cast her out.
M: I am too weak.
D: God will help you.
M: She’ll know.
D: Guard your thoughts. Use your rosary, each bead bears his name.

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That part about the rosary didn’t help, but she  sure dd. After Sister Mary Eunice’s innocent soul broke through briefly and begged Monsignor Timothy to be let go, he told her to let him go.  When she does, he gives her a surprisingly firm push up and over the balcony of the third floor, and she falls–released– to her death. We were in so much denial we thought she was going to change back at the last second and bite off the Dark Angel’s nose or suck out her power or something–PSYCH!  Instead, Death is able to take “both of them” to peace: Sister Mary and the Demon that had (formerly) resided in her.

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Note: I surprised myself by writing pages of ‘ stray thoughts’ about the episode, a majority of it concerning the twisted ‘love triangle’ and character arcs over the past 10 episodes of Dr. Arden/Gruper/Nazi, the human Sister Mary Eunice, and Sister Mary-Demon that concluded at the end of the episode, then seeing it was turning into a long-winded essay. So here’s the shorter version of my ‘stray thoughts’, later I’ll include a length to the ‘uncensored, uncut’ version (on the 2% chance someone might run out of  pieces written focusing on minute details and metaphors of America Horror Story Asylum to read online).  So here’s the more tidy version. Thanks!

Stray Thoughts:

  • First, let’s get the bitching out of the way. Not one, but two characters (Possessed Sister Mary and non-possessed Monseigneur) used the words “epic failure.” Not “epic fail” (because ‘fail’ is NOT A GODDAMNED NOUN OR ADJECTIVE and it would have sent me into an angry frenzy of calling out the writers in public), thank God. The first line that concerned Sister Mary Demon calling Jude’s administration of Briarcliff her “epic failure”,  took me out of the episode for a second. Everything was cruising along fine, with Sister Mary Demon being especially entertaining and evil (more on that later). It takes a LOT to take me out of this show, in fact this is the only time I can recall it happening. Later,  after Sister Mary-Demon violated the Monsigneur’s “purity” when he attempted a pretty low-key exorcism,  he went to talk to a barely-there Judy in the kitchen,  then he called his exorcism attempt “an epic failure”.  STOP THAT! On almost any other show (taking place in the 90s or earlier) two uses of that term would have caused the entire episode to a screech to a halt (and if any other show taking place back then actually used the term “Epic fail,” the entire SERIES would screech to a halt).  However, everything else in this stunner of an epic episode was pure gold, so I’ll overlook it and just bump my episode grade to A-. I can’t give any episode with a hallucinatory song/dance sequence that awesome even a B+.
  • Speaking of dialogue, other than what I let slide above, “The Name Game” had some of the best, most chilling, and perfectly delivered dialogue this season. The exchange I never get tired of watching was the one after Dr. Nazi and the Monsignor had agreed on Dr. Thredson handling the cremation personally:

Monsignor, as he prepares to leave the room: As a sign of Sanctity, sometimes God permits the dead body to emit an odor of sweet perfume. It was said that when Saint Theresa De Avila died, the smell of roses lingered in the convent for days.
Dr. Arden: What do you smell now, Monsignor?
Monsignor: Nothing but decay.

It was James Cromwell’s lifeless, yet perfect delivery of his line that gave me a serious chill.

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  • Still not sure what Dr. Thredson said to Kit to make him disclose where the tapes were hidden. I almost wonder if Kit knew they’d been moved, just not where, but Dr. Thredson had him in a straitjacket (even though for over half of his onscreen time, Kit’s wardrobe seems to consist of shackles, straitjackets, and other restraining devices that so many kinky Evan Peters fans online own up to getting them hot and bothered), and was not being gentle. We cut away before Dr. T. gave what had to be some kind of ultimatum. However, after I re-watched the scene, I saw Pepper (Grace and the baby’s bodyguard),  was in the room, and I don’t think she’d take kindly to Dr. T threatening the baby even verbally. Bugs me a tiny bit, but the “See Spot Jump” payoff was so good, I don’t really care.
  • Fans everywhere are going nuts  over the musical number; I thought I’d find that at least 1/3 of cynical viewers would call it a “jump the shark moment,” but only one person online did. It didn’t even make me mad enough to respond; for once I just actually felt bad for all the cool stuff and fun the person would be missing after they vowed to never watch the show ever again.  Jessica Lange did a great job singing, and Lana? That chick knows how to go-go dance!  Oh, and did you catch those shots of the “Dead Mexican” that Sister Mary Demon stabbed in the neck with scissors, then fed to the raspers? She looked all better, dancing away!
  • Are we the only ones feeling sort of bummed after all the raspers were unceremoniously executed? OK, Dr. Arden Nazi shot four, maybe he missed a few. Or one. It wasn’t as depressing as many other events that took place in episode ten, but still. Either way, I’m still going to finish that gallery, I’m a woman of my word. I really wanted to see them rip the throat out of a character who DESERVED it.  Maybe we’ll get that…
  • If this episode was supposed to contain a “moment” conveying the secret to S3, I’ve got a guess-based on Murphy saying it was not a line, but hinting at a shot or angle, here’s our prediction: watch as Dr. Nazi kills the fourth Rasper. The shooting style completely changes for a moment; we get one of those action-movie. or even a Western, bullet’s-POV-mode as he fires. It really didn’t fit, and we were in the hands of a great director and DP who wouldn’t just whimsically toss in something like that for no real reason. Crime drama? Western? Travelling “Wild West Show” type of carnival where one of the acts people pay to see are a sharpshooter shooting an apple off someone’s head? It’s probably nothing, just a hunch.
  • And finally,  Sister Mary Demon was at the top of her game (and entertainment value) right up until that third-floor shove. The writers must have known how much we’d miss Sister Mary, because this week, they fuckin’ went to town.  From the Great! Big! Music Box! unveiling (starting with Screaming Jay Hawkins’ kick-ass “I Put A Spell on You,” I guess all those prudes in the 1950s were right—Rock and Roll really IS ‘The Devil’s Music’!) dedicated especially to Miss Judy Martin… to going through the cells and planting (so to speak) a cucumber in Judy’s room (that looked way too big to have any… never mind).  and calling attention to it in front of the other now-giggling patients (“Take this from the kitchen? Get the idea from Shelley? We can’t have you diddling yourself all night long! …Do you think of Monseigneur Timothy?”)
  •  Speaking of diddling, Sister Mary Demon looked borderline orgasmic as she turned up the shock therapy on poor struggling, horrified Jude past 50% and scrambling her brain. For some reason, that act struck me as more evil than stabbing that poor, terrified Mexican inmate (who no-one ever gave a shit about looking for, along with Shelley and Pepper) in the neck with a pair of scissors. This was on a par with dumping poor Shelley in a playground , and with deliberately letting Dr. Thredson loose, then hiring him on when she knew everything he’d done and was going to do. Put that together what she did to Jude in The Name Game are those were her top three most evil, vile acts (I’m not counting some of the things she SAID, just her actions are in the running for the Vile and Evil Top Three).
  • I still think Arden is was as much of a monster as Bloody Face, but a tiny part of me felt a kind of grudging respect for the evil old bastard sticking to his guns and taking that shit to the grave with him. I don’t want to get into discussing religion and whether or not there is an afterlife. However, if in the “American Horror Story Asylum Universe” the devil is real (which Arthur had to have figured out around the holidays), then it means Hell is also real. Guess where Dr. Nazi’s soul is going to end up? I loved that the final shot (the whole last couple of minutes were flawless—though I would have liked to hear a little more agonized screaming from that shitbird, but no complaints either) was from a POV inside the crematorium, seeing the steel door slide down and shut out all everything else… except for the flames, which he’ll be burning in for all eternity.
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American Horror Story Asylum Shockers: Ryan Murphy On “The Name Game’s” Major Character Deaths And Twists- S3 Hints -EW.com EXCLUSIVE (Spoilers)

I still can barely string sentences together, that blew me away so much. So read THIS! More from Horror Boom after our fucking heads are still spinning!

You should see my notes, if you want a good laugh. Pretty much a transcription of what I was yelling at the TV (when my jaw wasn’t hanging open). Will post those soon, THEN the usual “Ten SHOCKING Things We Learned.”

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American Horror Story Asylum – The Secret to Season 3 is in Tonight’s Episode, The Name Game, Says Ryan Murphy — EXCLUSIVE From EW.Com (Spoiler-ish)

“I don’t want to ruin it for you, but Spot jumps….”

So does that mean Season 3 will take place in a club w/60s music? A theater company? Club? Venue? Somewhere that puts on a show?  I’m still recovering from all the shocks tonight.

Holleeeee shit!  By the way, Lana sure can go-go dance!

Bet lots of people started thinking the show had gotten too goofy during that music number in Jude’s head, huh? Looks like THOSE people were fucking wrong, though, huh?  I almost never use the word “epic” as an adjective, but that was one epic ending. Lily Rave deserves an award along with Jessica Lange.  And the featured image (of Sister Mary disrobing down to that red slip in the woods… never in the episode.  My jaw dropped when Dr. Nazi started blowing away Raspers right and left in the woods (turned out he only killed three of them, but it seemed like a massacre at the time). Actually, the third one he blew away, the cinematography changed noticably;  Cromwell unflinchingly fired right into the camera (well, not directly, but you get the idea). Suddenly it briefly turned into a 90s Guy Ritchie movie (with Vinnie Jones or Jason Statham). Or… a Western? We saw Django Unchained  New Year’s Eve, and while I certainly don’t expect a Spaghetti Western with over-saturated colors, a cool twangy Morricone score, and bad-asses with never-ending supplies of bullets blowing off various villain’s  knee-caps, limbs, and entire heads (though I’d sure as hell watch that  show) for Season Three, maybe it will take place in a Deadwood-type setting and era. OK, we’re just trying to cover all possibilities so later we can say we called it, but since Murphy and Falchuck already have a show featuring performers (though this could be an acting troupe that travels around and puts on shows) maybe he’ll go with organized crime. Before this semi-mindfuck  from Murphy linking “the Season Three secret” to this episode, though, I was thinking a traveling carnival. Maybe it’d involve someone who displays his accuracy with firearms by shooting an apple off someone’s head. However, the current consensus among our friends is a travelling carnival …but it might just be wishful thinking. We do know if American Horror Story never goes with a Southern Gothic season at some point down the line, that’ll break our hearts!

We’d love to hear your thoughts, as always!

More to come!

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Ten Shamelessly Twisted Things We Learned From American Horror Story Asylum Episode 9, “The Coat Hanger” (SPOILERS)

Well, hot damn!

OK, let’s get the following suspicions we had that were confirmed out of the way briefly before we get our serious learn on here . 1. Yes, there is a connection between the aliens showing up and Kit having sex. So far they’ve taken Alma and Grace, and Kit got the tracking device. 2. Lana’s pregnant, alright, and.  3. Dylan McDermott is the son of Bloody Face, Oliver Thredson, and that was him killing pretty much the entire cast of the wrap-around story so far. Which leads us to…

1.  We learned Johnny Thredson’s back-story (which is a lot like many of us predicted …so far). This is coming from Bloody Face Jr. (who will be referred to as “BFJr” when we’re pressed for time), and sociopaths have been known to be pretty good liars (and Ryan Murphy has, too, though only when it’s to throw fans off a scent, not because he’s a sociopath). Here’s what we learned about his back story, broken down, from the cold open… he says, “I wanna stop. I really do..”

  • BF Jr. has had ‘impulses’ ever since he was a kid. The way he described what the impulses and how amazing they made him feel when he acted on them, the therapist thought (before he got to the part about skinning a cat) he was talking about compulsive masturbation. I’m no prude, but that’s just sick.
  • He started out by skinning a dead cat. Then he realized killing them felt even better.*
  • He grew up in foster care. His foster family kicked them out “when they saw the evidence”.
  • He got bounced from foster care house to house, until he figured out how to do it without getting caught. He said he hadn’t “harmed” any animals since he was a teenager.
  • Then he went to prison for armed robbery, where he learned killing small animals is a precursor to psychopathy. That got him thinking what made him the way he was, and who were his real parents?
  • Johnny found out who his real parents where when he started looking it upon the internet that they had “in the joint”.
  • After he found out who he was, those impulses got stronger and harder to control, especially certain thoughts. First they told him to retrace his roots.
  • Now he’s back in the house where his father lived  (not sure how he afforded such an awesome mid-century modern house, I’m pretty sure he’s living there in, let’s say, a non-traditional way, such as killing the owners and occupants and disposing of their bodies)
  • The thoughts and impulses started telling him to hurt women. Not just hurt them, skin them. Like the cats.
  • He got frustrated because he ‘made a mess’ when he tried it (as we see a flashback of him trying to skin Theresa in broken-down Briarcliff, and getting pissed because she was screaming, and yelling at her to shut up and stop moving-“This is delicate work!”). He knew he botched the job because he didn’t have the same medical training and skills as his father.
  • He wants to stop skinning/killing until he can get into medical school (“If it’s not too late”). He wants to learn to do it as well as his father did. And only then he reveals to the now-terrified therapist that his father was …Bloody Face.

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2.  We learned that Sister Mary Demon is dee-lighted  to share the news with Lana that she’s pregnant, and that she is NOT getting rid of the kid via a “Drano Margarita” (you don’t want details). Sister Mary Demon tells Lana she WILL have this baby. “This is an insane asylum. People hump like bunnies here, you’re hardly our first unwed mother. Of course, the babies are  born a little…cuckoo”. Later, when she tells Lana the coat-hanger abortion (gah!) was unsuccessful, Sister Mary Eunice simply glows with nasty glee.

I don’t trust anyone… or anything.

 

 

3. Lana Winters has wised up, and turns out to be a very good actress when she needs to be. She tells Sister Mary she must have hallucinated the rape, and when she politely informs Sister Mary Demon that she can’t have this baby, threatening to put her in restraints for nine months if that’s what it took, she played along. Lana has also figured out that Sister Mary Demon is an evil bitch (“You’re worse than Sister Jude… you’re a sadist”), but I don’t think she has any idea—yet— she’s actually demonically possessed. Unfortunately, Sister Mary fucks with her anyway by the end of the episode (more on that later)… but Lana makes VERY effective use of her time until then.

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4. We learned Lana really, really  wants to kill Bloody Face. Like, immediately. This is, I think, the second time Kit has had to talk her out of it and remind her if she kills him now,  not only will Kit take the fall, but Dr, Thredson will never take the blame. Though I think if Kit wasn’t involved, odds are even she would have killed him as slowly as possible without getting busted,  then gotten rid of his body effectively,  probably chopping him into 400 pieces, just for sheer payback. Luckily, she now has leverage on him, can get some payback by making him suffer WHILE getting evidence she and Kit need to prove he’s the real Bloody Face, then kill him (that last part doesn’t work out… yet. “I need Thredson to talk”. Lana gets an idea… a great  one.

 

And I know something else… it’s a boy.

 

 

5. We learned how to really hit Bloody Face where it hurts. Go find him where you tied him up in some deep dark catacomb of the basement (where apparently only giving him enough the minimum amount of food and water to keep him alive) prove he got you pregnant, then threaten to get rid of the baby. First let him think you’ll have it, then give the baby away and brought up in foster care, LIKE HIM.

After some begging, she tells him she’s  getting rid of it, and since she’s stuck here, “I’m gonna have to get creative”, and pulls out a sharp, thick wire coat hanger, and takes her panties off.  “This is a mercy killing, Oliver. No child should ever have to grow up knowing his Daddy was Bloody Face.” (check). Oliver gets very desperate and apologetic, very suddenly. “You owe me this, It’s my child too, please.” In a clever twist, she tells him he’s a sociopath (check) and can never be honest with anybody (check). When he says he’ll prove it, she asks him why he killed each of the women, adding up to a very honest confession. Then she reveals Kit’s been out of sight with the suitcase-sized reel-to-reel recorder –the same one he got Kit’s “confession” on, ha-HAH — the whole time!  Oliver goes back into misogynistic blurt-mode again, calls her a bitch, and that he knows it was all an act. Not so. In perhaps the cruelest act she can think of to hurt him (which you’ll get NO complaints from us about), she tells him she was pregnant all right, but she already used the coat-hanger on his “beloved baby …last night” (we see the wince-inducing flashback).  “It started as a trickle…and within an hour, it was just a bloody mess.”

After they do knife count, I’m gonna pocket one. Then I’m going to come back tonight and slit your throat nice and easy. I always wanted to know what it was like inside the mind of a killer. Now I know.

 

6. Ryan Murphy, and Lily Rabe, have mentioned before that Sister Mary Demon actually has a plan and a goal . Tonight we found out what it was. She tells Timothy that she agrees with what Sister Jude told her- he should  be the pope. Not only that,  she wants to save souls with him, and serve him… alongside him… all the way to the Vatican in Rome. Oh, shit.

I don’t mind telling you …I’m pretty scared.

 

7. Speaking of Father Timothy, we found out how shitty what he is capable of.  Either Dr. Nazi must have some serious additional dirt on him, or nothing will get in the way of his ambition to eventually become Pope, or some combination of the two. The Monsignor took away everything sister Jude had left—her freedom, her safety, and her title as a nun. They even gave all her possessions, including her clothes, to the poor.  “Now you’re just plain Judy Martin”. (We’re going to have to get used to calling her that). Worse,  he knew what he was doing to her was about the cruelest fate possible. Worst of all, he knew it was a cover-up and she was innocent. Thus, we patiently, hopefully waited through the episode for Leigh to turn on him violently.  We’re sure we don’t need to explain why wretched Sister Jude earned that “Goddamned cigarette” from Lana, if you’ve seen the episode.  He appears to try to feel better about himself by “save” Leigh Emerson’s “soul.” Yep, the convicted, confessed killer of nineteen people (20 if the guy whose face he bit a big chunk off of died). Oh hey, here’s something Timothy  learned the hard way, up next…

Lana:  My God, what did they do to you?
Jude: Nothing I didn’t do to you.

 

8. If a psychotic killer, and possibly rapist,  who you saw bite a guard’s face off a year ago and knock a guard off a ladder and smash the sharp tree-topping ornament in his face recently, does a complete 180 and proclaims piously that he wants to be forgiven by God and make up for all the damage he caused… well, maybe wait, I don’t know, at least a week or so, before trusting him enough to unlock his shackles and leg irons, be alone with him in a chapel, and perform a baptism in a basin about the size of a hot-tub. Otherwise, you may wake up (after being drowned into unconsciousness) nailed to a cross and wishing you were dead so strongly that the actual Angel of Death hears you …and comes calling.

This is going to hurt.

 

9. Now that Dr. Nazi has seen it and has scientific evidence (he saw it and  has the claw print he made), he believes Kit about the aliens. “They’re experimenting. Probably refining  some form of eugenics,” he tells Kit after questioning him (not via torture, but in his office over a “friendly” bottle of fine scotch and a smoke) about having sex with Alma—and Grace— before she was taken. Ryan Murphy teased this info as a hint about what the aliens wanted in the first place, and their interest/connection with Kit;  now he’s confirmed it: Eugenics. But of course, being a “man of science”, he wants to attempt to bring the aliens back-by almost  killing him. This is where the completely batshit things that happen in the episode as Ken Tucker teased before it aired really kick into high gear.

YIPES!!!

This was in the official preview for “The Coat Hanger”, yet nowhere to be found in the episode. We included it because it was so disturbing (it better show up at some point in the next four episodes). See “Stray Thoughts” for more on this.

10. When Kit’s heart stops (so, we suppose a main character did technically die in the episode, though he’ll probably be brought back…we hope), the aliens start putting on their show—the usually ear-splitting noises and flashing, then almost blinding lights. Stunned, Dr. Nazi wan towards the source of a light, and enters a cell/room only to discover PEPPER returned (the aliens took her too, Murphy confirmed, and she came back ”different”),  SPEAKING NORMALLY AND CALMLY,  informing Dr. Nazi that  “The baby’s full term, it won’t be long.” What… the… ffffuu–  Dr. Nazi seems to barely notice Pepper (still a pinhead, but she doesn’t act like one, just looks like one), he’s too busy being blown away by the sight of a now-returned Grace- nude, glowing with life, and very, very pregnant.

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Judy: Yeah, things are gonna change around here. (gets up and destroys “Dominique” record with her bare hands)
Lana:  (impressed)  Well… hot damn.

*Now, see THIS is when the therapist should have kept a poker face but quietly excused herself for “just one second”, then as soon as she was out of Johnny’s eyesight, sprinted out of the building and down the street to safety. Don’t wait until he starts talking about how hard it is to skin a woman alive before you start to panic.

Stray Thoughts:

 

  • I guess we could discuss the themes of forgiveness in the episode; who deserves it and who doesn’t, and how being told by someone they’ve forgiven you is not always positive.  Instead, we’d rather talk about the juicier stuff, and leave it at this:  Telling someone that their sins have been forgiven does not always end well for you, either (see Father Timothy). I think the only type of forgiveness that was positive and from the heart (and very satisfying for us to watch) occurred during the scene in the day room with Sister Jude  Judy Martin and Lana Winters. Lana is sitting there looking the most bitter we’ve ever seen her, Sist Judy enters to the strains of Dominique, looking self-conscious at the her former co-worker’s stares and smirks but trying to maintain her dignity. She starts by sitting down at the table with Lana and says she doesn’t expect her to forgive her, but honestly tells her that what she did to her was wrong—and agrees when Lana adds it was criminal.  When Lana admits that she doesn’t trust anyone, or anything, Sister Jude gets up and yanks the needle off the “Dominique” record- VVVVOOOOP!  and many of the inmates react with applause and even some cheers (so did we).
  • Did anyone else think that Jude was going to keep a sharp vinyl shard and stab or slice someone who had it coming, like within the next minute or so of the scene, instead of returning to the table with Lana (or at least slip a shard into her pocket)? Well, she might have it stashed away. It could show up later…
  • Ian McShane, we’re glad you were back, and we’re sorry to see you escape  (though at least now that the holidays are over, maybe McShane’s character won’t murder or rape anyone else). Hey, maybe he decided to exit via the woods, with the hungry Raspers. You think YOU can bite a face off, Leigh Emerson?? Think you might have met your match, there. Murphy has said that we’ll find out —probably on the finale— what happened to him, or where he went, just for closure. I don’t think McShane will get any more screen time. Sister Jude oops, Jude,  dammit— was terrified to see him approaching her bedside, but kept eye contact and did a fairly good job of not showing her fear, though she couldn’t hide her disgust.
  • There were lots of great lines in the episode, and McShane got one of the funniest. He’s being strapped down in an isolation room for some sort of sexual misconduct (that I hope was consensual, but he’s not exactly Don Draper and if a nun was going to say the hell with it and sleep with a patient, there’s a few slightly more appealing choices—not many, but still)  and Sister Jude, hate in her eyes, says to make it tight. “Oh yeah, I like ‘em tight! Just ask Sister Chastity.” Jude snaps that she will deal with Sister Chastity herself and Leigh replies, “You might wanna start by giving her a new name!” She slaps his face, but you can tell he thought it was worth it.
  • We’re really  concerned that the only evidence (and the only copy) of Dr. Thredson/Bloody Face’s confession is hidden away in the hydrotherapy room. We just hope to God that both Kit and Lana were in on the hiding place. Then again, if Sister Mary Demon has her way, they’re probably both fucked on many levels.
  • We were positive–from the moment the still photos were released– that the cigarette Dr. Nazi gave to Kit was going to be laced with Sativa (so he’d hallucinate and Dr. Nazi would work it into some evil plan)- because his little greenhouse isn’t just a hobby. You can’t just go into store and buy Belladonna /Deadly Nightshade, either, even back in the 60s. If you have no idea what Sativa is, you can read about it here (and on a ton of other BLTC type websites out there, probably).
  • Is Sister Mary forcing Lana to have her baby because she knows what a monster the baby is going to become, or just out of sheer spite because she knows how evil it is to make a gay woman who was raped by a serial killer (who also killed her lover) and got pregnant from the rape have to live with it in her body for nine months and then go through childbirth to have it? We’re guessing a bit of both.
  • I don’t know how much time was supposed to have passed, I’m assuming a few days or so, but Leigh sure healed quickly after Sister Jude jammed that sharp metal letter opener into his neck. He appeared none the worse for wear, other than a gauze bandage wrapped around his neck. Maybe Dr. Hans Gruper, who proved he can actually save a life if he really applies himself, gave him some stitches and antibiotics— after all, Dr. Nazi was in on the “frame-up” of Sister Jude.
  • Anyone else notice there were shots in the preview that were not in the actual episode?  That includes the one above, the one of Sister Mary Demon with someone (I think it was Lana) miming a sarcastic Oh, boo-hoo!   directed at them, and we didn’t see THIS disturbing one either. And we really, REALLY looked for it, too:
Not in "The Coat Hanger", but in the preview for it. Where would it even go?

Not in “The Coat Hanger”, but in the preview for it. All we know is it BETTER damn well show up later! We already got screwed with all the AHS S1 DVD/Blu-ray; Murphy describes all kind of cool shit on the commentary, then says, “we had to cut it out, but I’m sure it’ll be a special feature on the deleted scenes/out-takes on this DVD, you can watch it there.” NO we fuckin’ CAN’T! Because there’s no deleted/extended scenes, or even out-takes in the special features on the whole set! At the very least, tell us where the above was supposed to go. Cross your fingers with us that this and the one above comes up later in the next four episodes…

  • We can’t fucking wait for the last four episodes (starting January 2nd, 2013), and  really  can’t wait to see  the two toughest cookies in the joint: Judy Martin and Lana Winters- team up. Of all the (human) women in there, they’re the ones whose good side I’d try to stay on (or join up with). This should be very, very good.

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Happy Birthday To Actress Sarah Paulson – American Horror Story Season One And American Horror Story Asylum’s “Lana Winters” – Celebrate With Some Kick-Ass Clips And Interviews!

A VERY happy B-day to Sarah Paulson, who has recently given us American Horror Story fans two amazing characters (so far!) on American Horror Story.   Remember her from Season 1? Her character was the “Lee Press-On Nails Psychic” (As Zach Quinto‘s catty character in S1 referred to her), Billie Dean Howard–who was wrong about some things, like the Roanoke/Croatoan spell …but really could  communicate with the spirits of the dead, and there was certainly no fucking shortage of those  on Season One. After her character was introduced, she explained, “this is a very  crowded house”). Currently, she’s best known for her role in American Horror Story Asylum as perhaps the most unlucky reporter of all time, Lana Winters.*

She’s also played many other genre roles; you may also remember her as Merlyn Temple from Raimi‘s sadly short-lived horror series in the 90s called American Gothic. I first rented it just to see a sizzling hot Bruce Campbell play a fairly serious one-shot role in the episode “Meet The Beetles” (he ended up getting eaten by said beetles, but looked pretty goddamned fine before that), but started with the pilot and was completely hooked–and scared as hell–well before Bruce showed up.  Sarah Paulson, always great in dark, nightmarish material, has been cast in a wide variety of roles that many talented performers with less flexible careers might even envy. She played a pretty demanding dramatic role as Agatha Ripp, a rock-bottom meth whore with mysterious stigmata that freaked out even Dr. Christian Troy on that first, other frequently sick and twisted FX drama Nip/Tuck  (which I believe was the first project Ryan Murphy cast her in). It was a difficult role and she nailed it;  a less gifted actress could have easily gotten wrong and driven her character –and the whole episode– off a cliff.

We Deadwood  fans won’t forget that she played a pretty nasty, cold-blooded character in S2– a “Pinkerton” woman in black whom even bad-ass motherfu Al Sweragean (Ian McShane  …oh wait, that’s right, you might recall his trivial, bland, harmless role on the Christmas episode of American Horror Story Asylum) was concerned about as a threat. The spectacular HBO show was mainly a historical drama (with plenty of crime and corruption), but also had some very dark moments indeed; “A Hell Of A Place To Make Your Fortune,” was one of our favorite taglines. She also played pin-up turned pin-up photographer icon Bunny Yeager (a personal heroine of ours) in the fairly true-to-life big screen biopic The Notorious Bettie Page. She had (and continues to have) an amazing range, and those credits were just off the top of my head; go to her page on the IMDB and you’ll realize you’ve seen her in many  other roles before– more than you think.  WAY more.  She does have a memorable face, but her roles are so successfully, wildly different that sometimes you don’t figure out it was Sarah Paulson playing them until it hits you much later.

Here’s a piece where she’s interviewed about her role as Billie Dean from American Horror Story Season One (AKA “Murder House”) and whether anything scary happened on the set or not…

Here she is in her first interview to the gay press with new SheWired contributor, her sister Rachel Paulson. It’s a good watch (unless you’re homophobic, which I doubt) whether you’re a fan of American Horror Story or just a fan of Ms. Paulson.
Thanks to http://www.shewired.com/.

And of course, I had to add something with her playing Lana Winters. Here’s a pretty creepy (but very well put-together) piece featuring her… interactions… with Dr. Thredson/Bloody Face. Enjoy (if that is the appropriate word) this video!

OK, here’s one more. Watch her break that photo of Wendy over Dr. T’s sociopathic, shitty head just one more time!

Here’s wishing the talented, entertaining, and glowing (see the below photo and just try telling us she’s not radiant in person) Ms. Paulson a n especially happy birthday …and many, many more!**

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*who I hope to hell catches up with Dr. Thredson really soon, and not the other way around.

**and I hope her character Lana also has many, many birthdays left to celebrate and dies of old age, after living long enough to take out Thredson AND, we’re hoping, his equally monstrous NEW Bloody Face son. But let’s save theories for later–and are they  ever coming!

Ten Unholy Things We Learned From The American Horror Story Asylum Christmas Episode, “Unholy Night”! (Episode 8 – Spoilers)

We told you it was going to be a kick-ass holiday episode! We’re a little surprised by the Christmas tree decorations not consisting of parts of a human body, but this was sick in its own original way. So why not kick things off with…

1. The demon in Sister Mary was pretty excited about decorating the tree. This time, she just got really mean— she yelled at all the poor patients to line up, then grabbed a festive basket, and went down the line, taking what she wanted. from the wretched-looking people in line cutting off hair (above the ribbon), taking out some poor toothless old inmate’s dentures, and using those items, saying it was a lesson in Christmas being “all about giving,” which Monsignor Timothy seemed sort of impressed by. He even noticed the IV bags and bottles (all empty), though he didn’t remark on the garlands, which were either rolls of gauze, or toilet paper (maybe both; with the medical supplies hung up, I think it was gauze, which is somehow sicker than TP). Either that, or he’s getting bad vibes from her too and thought he should probably just humor her, then regroup later to snoop into things. I have to admit, putting fingers, toes, eyes, etc.  would have been nice and sick, but probably would have drawn a teeny bit more attention.

She had this… light in her. The light’s gone out.

 

2. Speaking of attention, Sister Mary Eunice was on FIRE in this episode. Almost every time she opened her mouth I got a big grin on my face or laughed. Click here to read  “Ten Of The Best Lines in the Christmas Episode, ‘Unholy Night‘ ”  In an entertaining interview I posted few weeks back (you can find it here) Lily Rabe was right. Sister Mary does have a lot of Christmas Spirit…

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You don’t know what Christmas means to me…

3. Ian McShane’s character, Leigh Emerson, was also pretty entertaining (and frightening; I wouldn’t want him coming at me in that Santa suit with his rotten teeth, matted beard and greasy hair, even if he wasn’t carrying a sharp object). We learned his back story from Sister Mary Eunice (remember, she knows all).  As a young man,  he was thrown in jail for trying to steal a loaf of stale bread (the ultimate crime!) Unfortunately for him, it was close to Christmas, and when the guards went Christmas caroling (I actually don’t blame this guy for having… issues… with Christmas after we got his back story) five men held him down and raped him. Merry Christmas! They took his virginity (well, Sister Mary points out, the first guy took his virginity), the rest stole his dignity, self-esteem, but worst of all, his Christmas spirit …and that’s only the first part of the back-story.

“There is no God… but there is  a Santa Claus!”  – Leigh to Sister Jude

4.  THEN, we learned that Leigh Emerson escaped in 1963 (or was released from prison, either way it was a very bad idea for him to get out of there six days before Christmas).  He approached a Salvation Army Santa outside a supermarket, hit him with his  Salvation Army bell, then shot him in the face, plus four more times. THEN, he put on a blood-stained Santa suit from the guy, and killed 18 people from five different families.  In the murder we saw n the cold open, a little girl named Susie, buys him as Santa even without the beard, bloodstains, and the fact he came in through a smashed window instead of the chimney. He was nice to her (that we saw, anyway, she never seemed scared of him) tied up the husband and wife with (lit) Christmas lights, yells at them for overdoing it with the decorations, and after a really raunchy comment also in the piece with quotes, shoots them. He ends up in Briarcliff by Christmas 1963 (more on that Christmas at Briarcliff in the Stray Thoughts section)*

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5.  We learned some facts that would make anyone–well, anyone with a soul– turn down a lavish Christmas gift of real ruby earrings  (big stones, set chandelier style). We learned in the same scene that Dr. Arden is still (of course) a sadistic, evil Nazi asshole with a Madonna/Whore complex, but that he had hoped for some response from Sister Mary Eunice other than delight and preening when he told her how he got the earrings. Would YOU want to try on, let alone keep, earrings that had been swallowed and shit out every day for weeks by a woman in a Nazi concentration camp, not to mention they ended they ended up killing that someone due to internal injuries (the jewels tore up her intestines, Dr. Arden/Gruper explains) who died in the wretched camp, then  were given to you by the Nazi that “retrieved them”?  And regardless of hygiene, I’d be more than a little worried about a vengeful female spirit haunting you if kept and/or sold them. That’s an onyro’s secret back story reveal from a J-Horror, K-Horror, or Thai ghost movie right there.  Talk about bad karma. We at Horror Boom saw through the ruse with Sister Jude (360 degree turnaround all of a sudden from THAT shitty guy? Just didn’t buy it, though he sold it to Sister Jude skillfully) but we think he actually was kind of down–or feeling sorry for himself, at the very least– that there’s nothing left of the Sister Mary he, er, had a …crush on.

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6. Dr. Nazi is probably more scared of Sister Mary Eunice now; he didn’t seem to take any satisfaction in setting up Sister Jude’s (botched) murder. He didn’t want to stick around as he and Sister Mary Demon listened (below the French spiral “Staircase to Heaven”) to Jude’s terrified cries and desperate calls for help and all the crashing around. After he told Sister Mary (who practically looked like she was just about to discover her G-spot) that he hoped his loyalty was proven, he said–not entirely convincingly–he found it all rather tedious and that he had work to do.

Oh, you really don’t want me to be around the others this time of year…

 

7. Sister Mary Eunice’s telekinetic powers are improving. This episode, when Sister Jude managed to sneak in the office and hold a razor to Sister Mary’s throat and says she’s figured it all out.  Sister Mary Eunice looked amused and asks, “what are you gonna do, cane the devil out of me?” then laughs as the doors of the armoire containing all the canes are yanked wide open, followed by the various canes flying out, then the record playing a Christmas carol is shattered.. on the ceiling.  Before any more mayhem could ensue, Dr. Arden intervened and had Sister Jude ‘escorted out’.

See? We all made a little sacrifice for the greater good. That’s the spirit of Christmas!

 

8. We leaned more about Bloody Face (Old Skool Bloody Face) and the good news that Lana —and Kit— finally have the upper hand (for now). We’re a little worried about Kit, because if we were Lana, we don’t know how long we could keep ourselves from beating Thredson to death. In fact, Lana wanted to kill him right then. He  doesn’t seem as pissed about her injuring him to escape, but accuses him ‘tricking’ him into being “intimate” (which must be the word he uses for ‘rape’).  He said he was going to just kind of humor her and let her talk, because hey, who would believe her story? Then he tells her he changed his mind, he’s going to kill her. The worst news (for Lana and Kit, anyway) was said he’d gone over every square inch of the basement and his house with a toothbrush, combed it for any evidence (remember, no DNA testing back them—plus did they even have rape kits in the early 60s?) and that the furnace got a lot of use,  which he’s also really pissed about. You made me kill Bloody Face!  he nearly snarls at Lana.

 

One day,  I will bury you.
-Lana to Thredson/Bloody Face

 

9.  We learned there was no doubt that Lana is pregnant.  Many fans already suspected it (and a very recent interview confirmed it).  On a TV show (even basic and pay cable), we see a woman who is capable of getting pregnant throwing up in the morning on a TV show, and she’s not a virgin, 99% of the time, that woman has discovered her pregnancy by the end of the next episode. Not sure if Lana has figured it out yet, since that is SO the least of her fucking problems at this point.  There was some not-so-subtle foreshadowing in the dialogue from Thredson—“Bloody Face had to burn so he could be BORN AGAIN from the ashes” and “Your skin with will be the beginning of a second Bloody Face.”  Maybe it will be this season’s version of the Violet reveal that was predicted by half of the fans ahead of time – but the sight of her when the reveal came actually gave me nightmares. Let’s hope they do something just as shocking with this season.

hahafuckyouthredson_CONK.jpg

Heads up, asshole! CONK

10. We learned that any male staff member in Briarcliff with compassionate, human feelings  towards others—not that there were a lot of them, and few females, too— might as well have an expiration date stamped on them. As we thought, Frank was completely broken up, weeping and praying over Grace’s body.  He also saw the Rasper that ripped Sister Felicity’s throat out and tells Dr. Arden he thinks they should alert the authorities. “Our former Irish cop is feeling the need to confess.” Dr. Thredson tells Sister Mary Eunice soon after. “I’ve got it under control,” she replies. RIP, Frank.  Sister Mary slices his throat later in the episode after Leigh (Insane Homicidal Santa) gets put back in ‘the hole’ after really snapping and losing his shit in the common room, Frank locks him in and turns around to see… slash.  I assume Leigh will get blamed for cutting his throat. Oh, by the way, we have a survey. With the characters dropping like flies lately, if you want to vote on who you think will get killed off in the next episode, please do; there’s a poll here. Take a second, because we wanna know your prediction!

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12/19 Poll Update- SPOILERS if you have not seen episode Nine, The Coat Hanger, yet:  This is going up soon on the poll page, too, but it’s ironic that of the eleven responses (with a free account with Polldaddy we can only have ten) we Kit out of the running–it was him or Sister Mary Demon, and we take HIM out as an option?  Naaahhhh, no way, there’s way too much unresolved business, if they do it, they’ll wait till the last or second-to-last episode.  We didn’t consider the fact he might only be dead for a minute or two at the end of the episode, and that would be one of the mid-winter finale cliff-hangers promised by Murphy (though I doubt anyone called things going down like THAT before it aired). Either way, WRONG! He died. Episode ended. He might (probably…I hope) have Dr. Nazi make it back in time to re-start his heart in Episode Ten. But other than that, it was just the hapless therapist whose penny-saver coupon brought in the last patient she would ever have a session with – Johnny Thredson (she got the most votes, BTW-good call). Remember, the Angel of Death didn’t kiss the Monsignor yet–if you’ve read the episode description for next week, or seen the nice spoilerish preview for the January 2nd episode, “The Name Game,” we know what happens there.  I’m still pissed at him for what he knowingly did to Sister Jude. You can read the FULL weekly piece, Ten Shamelessly Twisted Things We Learned In American Horror Story Asylum Episode Nine, The Coat Hanger (Spoilers) right here.

Stray Thoughts:

  • We actually thought that when Sister Jude drove something pointy into Leigh “Psycho Santa” Emerson’s neck in self-defense, it was a candy cane. Before you laugh, have you seen how sharp and pointy the ends of those get after you’ve been sucking on one end for a while? It’s like a hard-candy ice pick, or something. We know somewhere out there that HAS happened in a holiday-themed horror movie, probably one we’ve seen and just can’t place. We actually wish it had been a candy cane, but I guess that was a little too campy even for Murphy and Falchuck. We can see where they’re coming from… but still, that would have been a great, sick touch.
  • During the cold open teaser that introduces Leigh Emerson’s holiday season mayhem, was anyone else reminded of “And All Through The House…” that awesome, AWESOME Tales From The Crypt  (an anthology movie used the story from the comic first) episode where the mother –SPOILER ALERT, THE EPISODE OR AT LEAST A CLIP IS COMING UP AS A POST FOR THE HOLIDAYS, HIGHLIGHT TO READ:  kills her husband in the middle of a snowstorm on Christmas Eve, hears that a maniac dressed as Santa escaped from the local mental asylum, and it’s a very tense game of cat and mouse up until the chilling ending as she can’t really call the cops when her husband’s body is there with an axe buried in his head, blood everywhere, and her plans to drag him outside and drop him down a well become even more screwed up when she locks herself out of the house. Here’s the kicker, though, and you’ll remember it if you saw it: her little girl (who believes in Santa Claus) is awake in her bedroom upstairs because hey, what child can calmly sleep Christmas Eve? The murderous mother finally makes it in the house throw a window on the second door –wow, what a relief! However, the little girl isn’t in bed. She walks, filled with dread and shaking, to the landing of the stairs and looks down to see her little girl, smiling. Oh, Thank God she’s OK! We’re going to look it up soon, since I wouldn’t be surprised if the little girl’s name was Suzy in the comic, then sees she’s holding hands with someone. “Look, Mommy! Santa really came! He came and I let him in!” Next to her stands a grinning, large maniac dressed in a Santa suit… happy to finally be indoors. The comic ended on that last frame –Good Lord (choke)! The HBO episode ended on the evil maniac Santa asking, “Naughty… or nice?” in a gravelly voice just as scary as Ian MacShane’s, and then faded out on the woman’s hysterical screams. Robert Zemeckis directed it, which sounds like a red flag for a Tales From The Crypt  episode, but I still was on the edge of my seat even though I knew the ending… which gave me goosebumps.
  • So, fellow E.C. Comic and Vault of Horror fans, did little Suzy not being scared of Santa (even though it was six days early, he clearly entered through a broken living room window,  and had a few little bloodstains on his Santa suit) and then going to wake her parents up to tell them ecstatically Santa was downstairs, which of course ends horribly, remind you of that story? The “Unholy Night” version was way darker, obviously, but I think the parallels were there. It was even published is roughly the same time period (mid-century).
  • Who else got a big grin on their face when poor Frank grabbed a huge ladder to put the glass (or maybe tin) tree-topper up, the elaborately red-and-silver, star-shaped ornament (only with at least 20 pointy ends), and started climbing? We didn’t want Frank to get hurt (too late, sigh), so much as we saw total chaos about to break loose and thought there’s no way that star isn’t going to end up embedded in someone’s face or neck.  Didn’t expect him to fucking RUSH the ladder, knock it and  the entire giant strangely-decorated Christmas tree over, and leap on top of Frank like a wild animal, trying to smash it into Frank’s face (and actually succeeding) as not one, but two large orderlies had to sprint over to pull Leigh, in full-on homicidal maniac frenzy-mode, off of poor Frank. We’re putting up a featurette on the stunt soon, but until then, you can get a fix watching a behind-the-scenes look from FX  at how they performed the old “face-off” bite right here.  Sister Mary Demon’s casually amused reaction to the entire tree debacle, after she calmly watches: “Two steps forward, one step back.”
  • If we had been in Sister Jude’s shoes, the second we opened the double doors to her quarters/office and saw mangy, creepy, blood-thirsty Leigh lounging in her chair behind the desk, we would have turned around then and gone right out. She tried to get out fast, but she hasn’t seen as many horror movies as we have. If she’d been as big a horror fan as us,  it would have gone like this: open door, see homicidal patient let out of ‘the hole’ sitting there in a Santa suit opposite you behind the desk, immediately swivel around and step back out into the hall and close the double doors, all in one large motion.
  • There’s too many great quotes to count, but we made a list of ten OF the best (not THE ten best) quotes from “Unholy Night”, along with screencaps, and you can check that piece out here.

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