AHS Season 6 Teasers Are Now Officially Scaring the Shit Out of Us

Okay, now the makers of the AHS Season 6 teasers seem to be having a contest to see if they can make each other soil themselves with terror. Number 26 was just released, and this writer actually had a nightmare caused by the imagery. All of them have been scary (and very impressive in their creativity), but starting with, oh, number 20 or so, the creative team has been pulling out all the stops. Take, for example, the below, titled “Bathing Beauty”:

But with teaser #26, titled “Bite Me”… well, just watch it. Ararchnophobics, you have been warned.

Because apparently it’s not enough to have a scary, spindly spider scuttling towards you rapidly, they decided to show us one that screams in our fucking faces. As well-crafted and artistic as the Season 6 teasers have been, part of us hopes this is the last one. Or the last openly terrifying one, anyway.

By the way, TMZ has released leaked set photos from the season. We haven’t reported on them yet because Horror Boom prefers not to be linked in any way with TMZ, but we’ll give you a hint: it looks like there might be a Murder House tie-in. Does the word “Croatoan” ring any bells? Also, it looks like AHS will be continuing with their tradition of having every other season be a period piece. AHS Hotel was set in the present, and this time the set photos harken back to what appears to be a colonial era.

More as it comes in! We haven’t heard any official denials about the leaked theme name yet, by the way…

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See The Spooky Subliminal Image In The American Horror Story Coven E03 Preview For “The Replacements” Yet? (SPOILER)

We did see it …but it took us a couple of days to realize that it was in the preview only, and not the episode. Because I was lucky enough to hit “pause” at the exact right moment on the You Tube promo, the image (also above) doesn’t exactly look subtle at first glance:AHSCsubminalflashmadison.pngIt’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it shot, but if you’re looking for it, you can catch it in the You Tube promo below (at approximately 14 seconds in):

Okay, so pretty cool-looking, right? Here’s the thing: it’s not in the actual episode that aired on October 23rd. All you see is the curtains bursting into angry, spreading flames, and then this shot of Madison Montgomery:

Screen shot 2013-10-30 at 6.11.58 AMIf if you’ve seen the episode, you know what happens to Madison in the last 30 seconds of “The Replacements”: Fiona cuts her throat, and the movie-star witch (who may or may not have been the new Supreme to replace Fiona) crumples to the ground, landing on a rug (that now needs its own replacement), apparently dead. I say “apparently dead” because …well, if you’re an American Horror Story fan, you know people and things we were positive were dead–and some officially pronounced dead and awaiting burial–have a way or returning when and how you least expect it.

Just a fun little subliminal message, or a ‘Easter Egg‘, from Ryan Murphy and Co.? We’re sure it is. Will it be repeated in future previews to clue in careful watchers to an upcoming death? We’re pretty sure it won’t. I’m pretty sure at least one person is going to be killed in “Fearful Pranks Ensue”, the Halloween episode airing Wednesday the 30th, and there’s nothing even close to it in the preview for the new episode. No skulls, anyway.  We’ll sure as hell be keeping a sharp eye out, though!

By the way, we heard from someone who has seen the Halloween-themed upcoming episode (less than 24 hours away) and it is supposed to be f*cking EPIC even by American Horror Story standards!  We usually try not to get our hopes up when we hear things like this, but on this one? We’re not going to even bother trying, because we know it won’t be disappointing …in fact, we’re counting on it blowing us away! Even though E05 is titled, “Burn Witch Burn”, Ryan Murphy has referred to the next two episodes as a “Halloween two-parter.” Here’s the synopsis from NEXT week’s episode (and it does sound like a two-parter, I’m sure with various insane cliffhangers that make all of us scream in frustration)

BEGIN KICK-ASS SPOILER (SEMI-SPOILER, ANYWAY) FOR AHS COVEN EPISODE FIVE, “BURN WITCH BURN” SYNOPSIS! WARNING! SPOILER ALERT!

 (Source: IMDB)

Burn, Witch. Burn!

Besieged by Marie Laveau‘s army, Zoe unleashes a new power. Fiona and Myrtle clash over control of the Coven. Madame LaLaurie is confronted by old ghosts. (Airs November 6th)

END (SEMI) SPOILER FOR “BURN WITCH BURN”, EPISODE 5 OF AMERICAN HORROR STORY COVEN

So did you catch the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it flash in the preview for ‘The Replacements’, or not notice it until we pointed it out?

‘American Horror Story: Coven’ scoop: Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson play [spoiler]!

Angela Bassett as a Voodoo Lady named Marie Laveau (another man dead and gone*)! Kathy Bates as Delphine LaLaurie, one of the cruelest bitches of all time – we wrote a piece back in March making an estimated guess LaLaurie would be the “real life woman” Ryan Murphy had revealed at the time Bates would portray- read the piece and about her here (but the details of her blood-curdling crimes are not for the squeamish, so there’s a separate link in the post itself if you want to read the really gruesome stuff). We’re still patting ourselves on the back for calling it; we’re also guessing that the Bates storyline will be the least “fun and campier-toned” of Season 3 of American Horror Story. We’re positive about one thing, though: We! Can’t! WAIT!
*according to the lyrics to the song of the same name. Plus, she “lived in a swamp in a hollow log/ with a one-eyed snake and a 3-legged dog/ bare bony body and-a-stringy hair/ if she ever see’d your face ’round there, she’d go (Scream) another man dead and gone.” Oh, and also: “if she ever asks you to make her a wife, then you best stick with her for the rest of her life, or it’ll be (Scream) another man dead and gone”! We’ll add more actual details on the voodoo priestess NOT based on the lyrics of a song soon. Plus maybe a mp3 of the song. We doubt LaLaurie had any upbeat, catchy-ass songs written about her.

 

Kathy Bates Cast As Delphine LaLaurie In American Horror Story Season Three? We Think So! Read Why (Disturbing Content)

This is a re-blog from March, and here’s why: We saw this hit the newswires and flipped out, because we had figured last week that the copiously researched piece we wrote with our best guess on Kathy Bates casting as a ‘real life figure’ on S3 of American Horror Story Coven might have been off-base. Yay! We can’t believe we called it! I recommend a re-read of this article if you want to know more about her character …unless you have a weak stomach, or your nerves are not what they used to be, because this is extremely disturbing, graphic stuff. Learning new horrible historical facts can be upsetting, especially if it’s after dark, you’re alone, and you already are feeling a little …off. We’re still surprised (though still patting ourselves on the back) we were right, because Ryan Murphy is almost impossible to second-guess; almost all our predictions on how story-lines would wrap up on American Horror StoryAsylum were wildly off-base. More updates from the TCA announcement/presentation coming very soon!

HORROR BOOM

AUG 3rd UPDATE: Holy shit! We actually called it! Back in March!  During FX’s presentation at the Television Critics Association today, Tim Minear announced some major casting–including the official news that Kathy Bates WILL indeed play Delphine LaLaurie!  Yay Mr. White Horror Boom. This character will put the Horror into American Horror Story: Coven. Read on for more gory, disturbing details (after the self-congratulatory logo we inserted) in the original piece!

 

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So. Have you heard the very, very, VERY horrifying historical facts about her? Newspapers at the time called her, “a demon in the shape of a woman”. You know, the wealthy New Orléans socialite and notorious part-time torturer and murderess of slaves in her ‘employ’ in the 1830s who went by the name of Madame Delphine LaLaurie? No?

Are you SURE you want to?

Even if this ends up not happening, I doubt I’m alone in imagining…

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Kathy Bates Cast As Delphine LaLaurie In American Horror Story Season Three? We Think So! Read Why (Disturbing Content)

AUG 3rd UPDATE: Holy shit! We actually called it! Back in March!  During FX’s presentation at the Television Critics Association today, Tim Minear announced some major casting–including the official news that Kathy Bates WILL indeed play Delphine LaLaurie!  Yay Mr. White Horror Boom. This character will put the Horror into American Horror Story: Coven. Read on for more gory, disturbing details (after the self-congratulatory logo we inserted) in the original piece!

 

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So. Have you heard the very, very, VERY horrifying historical facts about her? Newspapers at the time called her, “a demon in the shape of a woman”. You know, the wealthy New Orléans socialite and notorious part-time torturer and murderess of slaves in her ‘employ’ in the 1830s who went by the name of Madame Delphine LaLaurie? No?

Are you SURE you want to?

Even if this ends up not happening, I doubt I’m alone in imagining it likely that Kathy Bates, now officially signed as a Season 3 lead –who will play the most evil character on American Horror Story “ever” according to Ryan Murphy— could end up portraying the vile, cruel, evil actual c-word woman (who has even made it to a few “top ten evil humans in history” lists, click this link for one of them). The more tiny bits of info on Season Three of American Horror Story are revealed, the more our theory seems to fit.

Before we present our case, though, let me back up a little.

I’ve heard LaLaurie’s name before, mainly because reading about some of the most haunted places in American also gives you some really horrible and blood-curdling historical facts for the back story.  On serious sites written by sane, intelligent people, they inform you (along with documentation, usually in the form of news stories and even photos to reference their knowledge) of whatever tragic atrocity or cruel twist of fate—often in the form of mother nature—occurred.  One of these back-stories was on the notorious LaLaurie Mansion, still standing, and officially the most haunted building in New Orléans. Think of all the horrifying, miserable things that have happened in the area that go back centuries …and this mansion still managed to make it to the top of a list.

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Supposedly, you can see terrified ghostly figures running around in fear, the most well-known was the ghost of a little girl who this awful bitch kept as a slave. When she was brushing Delphine’s hair, she hit a snag by accident. Delphine beat her with a whip until she ran for her life, with Delphine close behind. The little girl ended up on the roof (there’s plenty of photos of the actual site of the death) and either slipped, was pushed, or just jumped off just on instinct to put some distance between she and her attacker. I’m guessing it’s one of the last two. Stories claim on certain nights you can see the poor thing’s apparaition make an appearance by jumping off the roof and hitting the ground. That was about all I learned about the background of the mansion and all the atrocities that took place there, courtesy of Delphine. I would gladly be a servant to Countess Bathory than LaLaurie. Elizabeth Bathory just bled you do death. Still pretty horrible, but what ‘Ms. Bathory’ did almost seems quaint in comparison to the torture and living hell Delphine subjected her slaves to.

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I regretted it when I looked for more online, because I found out more than I want to know. If you really want to know, here’s one of the LESS blood-curdling accounts.  It’s still upsetting, though; you have officially been warned. What that crazy bitch did to her ‘servants’ she kept in an attic room is shockingly graphic and brutal; I’m linking to it because I don’t want to describe it. It takes a lot to turn my stomach, but this fucking nightmare of a story did it, and would have even if it was presented as fiction. Speaking of nightmares, you may be in for some really bad dreams tonight. If you decide to rifle around on Google for some of the more detailed descriptions, they’re not too hard to research …but again: we warned you.

Here’s a little more about the mansion itself, focusing less on the murder and torture.*

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OK, now we’ve got the actual true-life background. Here’s some reasons why (and a couple why not) Murphy may have cast Bates as LaLaurie, with some hints that Ryan Murphy dropped in January and some recent news…

  • A fairly recent article in The Huffington Post revealed Season Three in not only set in New Orléans, but also will in fact film there. This was confirmed by Frances Conroy herself (who will have a bigger role in S3- bring that ON!)
  • When dropping hints in January, Murphy said it would be shooting in a specific location in America “where true horror has been” Check and CHECK.
  • When the story broke that Bates would be featured in Season Three, it reported she was playing an actual ‘true-life’ evil woman, in a story that ‘really happened’. Check.
  • Reasonable physical resemblance -see above and featured image (though Delphine may have been slightly younger when she was run out of New Orléans, it’s close enough), other than this horrifying wax museum depiction (hope they have enough sense to have that exhibit age-restricted)
  • As far as Dylan McDermott saying Bates is “perfect” for the part, maybe he’s thinking of Misery, where Bates as Annie Wilkes kept someone against their will and made SURE he didn’t go anywhere (though he was already pretty fucked up below the waist from the car wreck, but she was capable of doing some serious damage… and had planned to kill him after the book was finally finished and she’d read it, at least in the novel …which was much more brutal than the movie).**
  • Murphy said (also in January) there was going to be (as referenced above) the most evil, horrible female character he’d even written as the villain of the season. Read the story? Can’t argue with the description.
  • Bates has also been revealed to play first Lange’s “best friend”, who would become her “nemesis”.  Lange has been repeatedly described as playing a very glamorous character. Delphine was a very wealthy woman who threw plenty of fancy parties entertaining other wealthy socialites, so the guests here everyone dressed to the nines. No-one else except her husband was privy to the “attic chamber of horrors”, or, I’m guessing, the female slaves she kept chained to the stoves in the kitchen to cook. The other residents of the area did not take the news lightly after the horrifying, graphic report hit the papers, and angry mobs gathered, many ready to burn the mansion to the ground. So, I’m guessing she didn’t have a whole lot of friends left.

Here’s some facts against our theory –though we’re still betting on Delphine being a part of the story AND Kathy Bates playing her…

  • When E! asked McDermott if he thinks Kathy Bates is “perfect” for the upcoming season, he said, “She really is. All the witches of Salem … there’s plenty of them!” Huh. Well, now we know they’re shooting in N’awlins. Did he maybe confuse magic with voodoo?
  • Characters in American Horror Story Asylum unlucky enough to be locked up somewhere and against their will were also mangled by a horrible individual, and one of them begged for death. Also, Delphine LaLaurie was married to a doctor. Too much of the same?
  • Murphy  has reassured us this season will be much less dark and depressing (since everyone involved needs a change of pace after Asylum).  The events surrounding Delphine were pretty goddamned brutal and I have trouble thinking how they could be played off as ‘campy’. However, we don’t know how large a role Bates will be playing- maybe the torture and atrocities that took place in the Delphine mansion are not the center of the story.

We’ll be adding any ammo we can find to back up our theory (or destroy it) as it develops. Watch this space!

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*Here’s another about ‘the hauntings’. Most are probably bullshit. That being said, I’m sure as hell not going near that goddamned place at night even in a tour group. Ever.

**in which she chops off his entire foot with an axe, cauterised it with a blowtorch, and later uses an electric carving knife to cut off his thumb (no real reason other than her being in a bad mood that day) then later made a cake for him and stuck his thumb in calling it a special candle, telling him if he was good and finished the cake, he wouldn’t have to eat the candle.  Sounds somewhere in the ballpark of Delphine LaLaurie.

For use in article Delphine LaLaurie. Black an...

Photograph of copper plate found in St. Louis Cemetery #1 by Eugene Backes in the late 1930s. Text reads: “Madame Lalaurie, nee Marie Delphine Maccarthy, decedee a Paris, le’ 7 decembre, 1842, a l’age de 6 –.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Next On American Horror Story: Ryan Murphy on Season 3, His New Horror Movie, and Rethinking Screen Violence After Sandy Hook

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I don’t think I can handle waiting till late Summer/early Fall to find out where Season 3 of American Horror story is set, and what the scenario is.

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New Interview: Dylan McDermott Talks American Horror Story Asylum Finale And Ben Harmon, Upcoming Horror Projects, Favorite Horror Movies, What Scares Him, And Much More! (SPOILERS)

[McDermott] goes as far to admit that portraying the character of Johnny Thredson has begun to “creep him out” in minor, tell-tale ways, left him a tad unnerved and has invaded his own dreams. “It’s funny, because with this particular role you don’t know it when it’s happening, because it’s unconscious,” McDermott offers. “But, yeah, this guy has gotten under my skin a little bit, I have to say.”

We expected something we’d heard before, even though this interview from ©Digital Journal only was published about six hours ago. We get a tiny bit of older information, but a ton of new information (as well as a personal tragedy in McDermott’s past that we were surprised–and very saddened–to learn he’d had to go through). The article focuses on his roles in American Horror Story S1 and S2 (“Look, I really love this show, I mean, if I wasn’t on the series, I’d be watching it”), why he loves working with Ryan Murphy, why Rosemary’s Baby should never be remade, and more.

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Oh, and if you have the hots for him (or even a little crush), there are PLENTY of photos. Again, he sounds like a cool guy – and we wouldn’t mind sitting down with him and talking about our favorite horror movies.

 

While there has been some talk of a big screen “reinterpretation” of Rosemary’s Baby for several years now, McDermott promises that if a script for a remake of the Polanski classic ever pops up on his desk, he will immediately deposit it where it rightfully belongs – in the trash bin. (Ha-ha! Good for him-HB)

Plus, any actor that knowingly signs up for filming a nude scene while crying and whacking off* at the same time (in broad daylight, as we recall) is pretty goddamned fearless – especially when it’s broadcast on basic cable, rather than a direct-to-DVD limited indie that you’d have to go out of your way to see.

Here’s a link to the entire article for you to sink your teeth into:

Dylan McDermott is back home at ‘American Horror Story: Asylum’ (Includes interview and first-hand account).

 

Also, we tossed in some quotes from the interviews to get you started (the copyright for the interview belongs to digitaljournal.com and was written by © Earl Dittman).

On working with Ryan Murphy to develop Johnny’s character:

McDermott does cop to adding one aspect to Thredson’s persona that wasn’t originally scripted for the character. “You see him smoking some crack… I needed him to have an outlet for feelings, and then when I started smoking crack, they started putting it into scenes. That was an important thing. I wanted him to be high, because a lot of these guys are high, and a lot of people do, obviously, terrible things on drugs. It was important for me to have him to be a drug addict as well.”

photo copyright Dylan McDermott, 2012

photo copyright Dylan McDermott, 2012

*the act of which was referred to as “tear-jerking” on one AHS message board, which we have to admit is a new one on us and actually kind of clever.

Check Out American Horror Story Asylum Teasers For Episode 12, “Continuum’ (Five Things To Expect – Zap2it)

Ok, I wouldn’t call these major spoilers, they don’t give away any big shockers, but these are GREAT teasers for the penultimate episode of American Horror Story Asylum. My brain is still turning over these little mysteries the piece teases…

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Find out (well, figure  out – this is five things to expect, they don’t just blurt shit out) what face returns to Briarcliff, and if that character, or a scary new one, have it in for Sister Jude. Also, who or what from Lana’s past haunts her in her appearance in 1969! Click below and start speculating…

‘American Horror Story: Asylum’ episode 12 spoilers: Five things to expect from ‘Continuum’ – Zap2it.

 

Oh! And you get to see Evan Peters in his underwear! Though he may also be wearing a little blood in one scene, too (we don’t know whose).

No way THIS is going to end well...

No way THIS is going to end well…

 

New Interview: Lily Rabe Talks American Horror Story Asylum And Sister Mary Eunice To ShockTillYouDrop.com!

We thought this might be the same old stuff rehashed (though we’d still read it) but there’s some great new insights and info her from the talented Lily Rabe on playing Sister Mary Eunice. Here’s a quote or two to whet your appetite…

[when asked about what scenes were difficult emotionally] I think some of the murders… where she was just absolutely completely taken over by the devil and throwing these actors around and slitting their throats and stabbing them ruthlessly and all of that sort of, you know I’ve been the victim a lot, so I’ve often played the person who’s getting raped or murdered or abused.  And so to actually be raping and murdering and abusing people is a whole different kind of challenge … and sometimes I would sort of go home from work and just kind of stare at the wall for a couple of hours.

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[On the final scene of “The Name Game“] James Cromwell and I were always sitting around talking about Shakespeare like big theater dorks and so we felt like we’d gotten a nice, Ryan had given us a sort of beautiful horror story Shakespearian ending.  But I think it seemed sort of completely sort of the perfect end to the very, very, very bizarre and complicated and dark love story of sorts.  I think for him he really had loved her for so long and been so devoted to her; and I can’t speak for Jamie, but I feel like that was just maybe the last straw for him.

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Oh, and if that’s not enough, she talks about the awesome “You Don’t Own Me” scene! Damn, that must have been fun to play. To read the whole interview, click below…

Interview: Lily Rabe Talks American Horror Story: Asylum | Shock Till You Drop.

 

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Ten Shocking Things We Learned From American Horror Story Asylum Episode Ten, “The Name Game” (Major Spoilers)

Believe it or not, no pun intended on the title. Yes, Sister  Jude was forcibly given an especially, deliberately brutal shock treatment session, but we spent the episode either with our jaws on the floor at reveal after reveal, sudden deaths,  lines and acts that I was surprised got by the FX notes department, laughing with glee, or loudly exclaiming profanities. They turned the juice up extra high on us, that’s for sure. Ole Mrs. Horror Boom here somehow took notes while simultaneously sounding like a less coherent, female version of the routine Eddie Murphy did back in the 80s about talking back to the screen in movie theaters. “The Name Game” came close to pure gold other than a couple of brief glitches that’ll be covered in the “Stray Thoughts” section to be added before the next episode, after I grab some sleep.–just wanted to make sure I got the usual list published first. So let’s go! Gabba Gabba HEY, Pepper!

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1. Our Pepper was framed! In her own words (during a really great monologue that leaves Dr. Arden shaking, his ego shattered): “Dr. Arden, you still see me as microcephalic. No-one takes a pinhead seriously. When my sister’s husband drowned her baby and sliced his ears off, he told everybody that I did it. They tied me up and paraded me in front of a judge. He took one look at the shape of my head and I was locked up for good. That’s how it works with us freaks. We get blamed for everything.”

She’s destroyed you, and now she’s destroyed me.

 

2. The cold open rockets from good to great as soon as we realize Pepper isn’t scared of Dr. Nazi. In fact, by the time the cold open is over, he’s scared of her.  Ha-ha! How’s that  feel, Hans, you cowardly prick? Our favorite pinhead calmly, evenly informs him that she has been sent back to protect Grace, and lays out how this is going to work. THEN Pepper tells him “the others” (the aliens whose intelligence he was so impressed by in Episode 9) had been watching his “clumsy experiments” and had a good hearty laugh at him and his ‘barbaric practices’ (I wish there was a way– and I doubt that I’m alone her–, that somehow this whole sequence could have lasted twenty minutes). Anyway, after destroying his ego and pride, she laid the situation out for him: “But if something happens to Grace in here, and she is harmed in any way, there won’t be anyone else to blame. They’ll take you, open up your head, and stir your brain with a fork. And when you’re returned, you’ll experience firsthand how they treat us freaks. I’ll take care of Grace. Why don’t you go to your whore nun, have her soothe your deflated ego?”

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Though Dr. Nazi lied like a rug when he hastily returned to revive Kit (“There was no visitation,” he said, but didn’t make much eye contact with Kit) and appeared composed, we see in brief flashback that by the end of the above speech, he was left slumped, panting (per the closed captions) and covering his face with shaking hands. Later in the episode, we have confirmation that yes, Dr. Nazi took her very seriously indeed, as that was the end of his experiments (we watched him prove it). Whatever scraps of his ego and hopes that Sister Mary-Demon hadn’t already damaged beyond repair, Pepper grabbed, threw on the floor and stomped on.  Also, the fact that Pepper’s been charged with protecting Grace explains why she was taken when the pattern for the others taken (Alma and Grace) was that they’d recently had sex with Kit, and she didn’t. So glad that turned out to not be a plot-hole.

“You are one. Sick. Twist.” -Kit to Dr. Thredson

 

 

3. One source of ours (who only gave us the below one tip, phew) was apparently full of shit, as their tip was:  the dirt that Dr. Arden was using to ‘blackmail’  the Monsignor was that he was a sex addict.  Speaking of “one sick twist,” we learned he was in fact a virgin, and even though he knew he shouldn’t have (vows of purity and all that) and did try to resist, she wore that all down pretty fast. Sister Mary Demon ground all over him and soon he wasn’t as emphatic while telling her, “no… I must not… stop… don’t… stop,” and he started breathing harder when Sister Mary Demon peeled off her habit and revealed that she was wearing the now-notorious red slip. OK, we want to be accurate here but not cross the line into trashy, we’ll do our best. It began when he tried to begin the traditional exorcism (“I cast thee out in the name of...”) but that ended within seconds as Sister Mary Demon shrugged him away and laughed at the joke, telling him, “Good one, father. Wanna hear mine?”  She began a dirty limerick that ended with, “His mighty dick/ was inches thick/He called it Salamander.” When he tried to clumsily continue the exorcism, Sister Mary tossed him across the room onto the bed (without touching him),  and asked salaciously, “How about yours, Father? Is yours …inches thick?”   and wasted no time  crudely seducing him and getting about as verbally graphic as FX could let the writers. The icing on the cake was Dr. Nazi walking in on them JUST as Timothy finally, despite himself (I feel like a pervert just describing this) moaned very loudly as he got off,  but with the worst possible timing for everyone. Everyone, that is, except Sister Mary Demon, who–talk about “one sick twist”– seemed to have planned the timing as she was urging the Monsignor, “Not yet… wait…” RIGHT until Dr. Nazi walked in and saw everything, including the Monsignor’s happy  (or not-so-happy) ending.  Furthermore, it’s going to take poor Monsignor years of therapy (at best) before he doesn’t associate orgasm with suddenly noticing an imposing,  bald elderly man in a doctor’s jacket standing in his line of sight, glaring venomously at him (assuming, after that icky timing, that Father Timothy ever feels like even having sex with himself, let alone another person, for the next decade or so).  I think they even made eye contact. Ugh. If Dr. Nazi had the tiniest grain of a soul, morality, or humanity left in him after Pepper tells him what a joke he really is, anything that was left died (painfully, we can hope) inside him forever at that moment. We learned that because…

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4.  Later, after the big dance number in Jude’s head, Dr. Nazi looked really  depressed as  he trudged into the Rasper Zone in the woods for a rare afternoon feeding, pushing the wheelbarrow full of large chunks of raw meat (Sister Mary Demon tagging along beside him). He half-heartedly tossed rasper-chow out, around the edges of their wooded area. All delusions of grandeur, power, and his God-complex were gone; instead his demeanour seemed closer to that of a small boy who had recently been informed his entire family had been killed in a car-wreck and he had to go live in an orphanage.  Then the raspers lurched out for their meal, and Dr. Nazi suddenly produced a gun and began joylessly executing them by shooting them in the back of the head (I counted four dead). When he started picking them off, Sister Mary-Demon looked like she’d gotten a surprise gift even as he announced to her in a lifeless voice that the experiment was over.  When he put the gun to his head, Sister Mary Demon watched with amused interest to see whether he would pull the trigger or not. Fortunately, Dr. Nazi didn’t— Ryan Murphy isn’t going to end such an amazing storyline (and character arcs that were all at once successfully swooping, fun, horrifying, and believable) without one hell of a pay-off  …and did we ever  get one at the episode’s staggering close. Instead he broke into sobs, collapsed to his knees, and asked Sister Mary Demon if she knew how much it had hurt him to lose her. She’s disgusted, tells him he’s pitiful, pushes his clinging arms away as he begs her to have pity, and it was satisfying to see him doing the begging when he’d so enjoyed making women beg him for mercy for nine episodes. He curls up, weeping and broken.


You have no secrets from me.

5.  We learned that Sister Mary’s (truncated) master plan and goal (which Lily Rabe and Ryan Murphy had both promised did indeed exist and would be revealed) included attaching herself to Monsignor (“You are mine now”) and thus rising in the hierarchy of the church …together.  Bishop…cardinal…dare we even say… POPE.  “The desires of the flesh are nothing compared to the rewards of power and ambition,” she tells a grim Monsignor Timothy. “I know you’re weak, but I’m strong enough for both of us.”  Besides the everyday chaos she enjoyed causing, Sister Mary Demon also delighted in the idea of next giving Jude (after the brutal ECT)  a trans-orbital lobotomy for *cough* therapeutic benefits, and to “crack that skull open like a walnut” (because we suppose frying half her brain like an egg wasn’t enough).

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“Ravage Me Red …Ravish Me Red…”

 

6. Speaking of that sad development, we learned Jessica Lange had another heart-wrenching monologue left in her… or rather, they had another written  for her, as I’ll never doubt her acting ability again. They write ’em for Ms. Lange, she nails them shut. This time she nearly levelled us during her visit with Mother Claudia when it became clear much of her memory and sanity had been destroyed from the abuse heaped on her. (We’ll transcribe it later). This led us to learning. that…

7.  Judy (or as Sister Mary Demon has cruelly designated her, Patient Number G2573) is clinging to the scraps of sanity she has left,especially trying to focus on matching names to faces; thank God one of the memories she retained is that Lana was unfairly locked up (by her), and she must keep trying to explain that Lana does NOT belong in Briarcliff.

“Anyone else have a bone to pick with me?”

 

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8.  In the “really  shitty news department”  we learn that Dr. T/Bloody Face (who has one of the best moments in the episode as he makes his entrance into the common room at Briarcliff to Screaming Jay Hawkins’ “I Put A Spell On You”) has changed his plans. Sister Mary-Demon must have told him that Lana’s DIY abortion didn’t take. His new, somehow more horrible plan, isn’t to kill her, not with the baby inside her–he tells her that as long as that baby is inside her, she’ll stay alive. When Lana asks if he’ll kill her as soon as the baby is born,  Dr. T explains his new plans to make sure she breastfeeds him for at least a year… no wire monkey mother for the son of Bloody Face (or so he thinks). Oh, and because that’s not bad enough, Sister Mary Demon offered him a permanent position at Briarcliff, which he was happy to accept (and yes, he reveals what we all strongly suspected–Sister Mary Demon untied him).  Later, we learn more about his new agenda.  Next goal?  To get the location of the taped confession out of Kit with the help of a straitjacket and some sodium pentothal (AKA truth serum) from Dr. Nazi’s office. Instead he follows the cries of a female in pain –you know he loves that  sound.  This leads him to discover Grace in labor (with Pepper calmly helping, telling Dr. T she’s crowning). This (understandably) catches even him off guard, but he recovers quickly enough to put this new weird discovery into play. He plans to use the son (after he’s told the father is Kit) as a bargaining chip. No need for sodium pentothal yet.  When it came to getting the information on the location of the tape reel, Dr. T. counted on Kit’s “Savior complex,” especially when it comes to women and children, being stronger than his utter hatred for Thredson. Dr. T did accurately analyze Kit at some point, apparently.  Kit  finally caved when Dr. T showed him his baby boy and gave him an ultimatum (we don’t hear the choice he gives Kit; in all fairness, he could have threatened the baby (though I doubt Pepper will let that happen, Kit didn’t know it). Thankfully, we then learned…

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9.  Lana was proactive and moved the blanket-wrapped confession reel to a new, undisclosed location, wisely not telling ANYONE where it was, to protect herself and Kit. She wanted to exonerate Kit and uncover Thredson as the real Bloody Face, but while she’d become allies with Kit, she made sure to also cover her ass… and Kit’s. She told Dr. T if he hurt Kit OR her, she’d find a way to get that tape to the police. Dr T. looks furious but also taken by surprise. “You know I can do it, Oliver. I’m goddamned plucky, remember?”  Oh HEYALL yes! That’s more like it!

“Do you know your name?”

 

10.  The Angel of Death (played by Frances Conroy) didn’t come to Timothy (who had been ‘calling’ her) to give him her kiss of death. We see a flashback to what happened right after episode 9 ended, and it’s nothing so simple. Instead…

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Monsignor, up on the cross:  Have you come for me? Why are you here?
Dark AngelI came because you have more work to do. The devil is here in Briarcliff, in your favorite young nun. You must cast her out.
M: I am too weak.
D: God will help you.
M: She’ll know.
D: Guard your thoughts. Use your rosary, each bead bears his name.

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That part about the rosary didn’t help, but she  sure dd. After Sister Mary Eunice’s innocent soul broke through briefly and begged Monsignor Timothy to be let go, he told her to let him go.  When she does, he gives her a surprisingly firm push up and over the balcony of the third floor, and she falls–released– to her death. We were in so much denial we thought she was going to change back at the last second and bite off the Dark Angel’s nose or suck out her power or something–PSYCH!  Instead, Death is able to take “both of them” to peace: Sister Mary and the Demon that had (formerly) resided in her.

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Note: I surprised myself by writing pages of ‘ stray thoughts’ about the episode, a majority of it concerning the twisted ‘love triangle’ and character arcs over the past 10 episodes of Dr. Arden/Gruper/Nazi, the human Sister Mary Eunice, and Sister Mary-Demon that concluded at the end of the episode, then seeing it was turning into a long-winded essay. So here’s the shorter version of my ‘stray thoughts’, later I’ll include a length to the ‘uncensored, uncut’ version (on the 2% chance someone might run out of  pieces written focusing on minute details and metaphors of America Horror Story Asylum to read online).  So here’s the more tidy version. Thanks!

Stray Thoughts:

  • First, let’s get the bitching out of the way. Not one, but two characters (Possessed Sister Mary and non-possessed Monseigneur) used the words “epic failure.” Not “epic fail” (because ‘fail’ is NOT A GODDAMNED NOUN OR ADJECTIVE and it would have sent me into an angry frenzy of calling out the writers in public), thank God. The first line that concerned Sister Mary Demon calling Jude’s administration of Briarcliff her “epic failure”,  took me out of the episode for a second. Everything was cruising along fine, with Sister Mary Demon being especially entertaining and evil (more on that later). It takes a LOT to take me out of this show, in fact this is the only time I can recall it happening. Later,  after Sister Mary-Demon violated the Monsigneur’s “purity” when he attempted a pretty low-key exorcism,  he went to talk to a barely-there Judy in the kitchen,  then he called his exorcism attempt “an epic failure”.  STOP THAT! On almost any other show (taking place in the 90s or earlier) two uses of that term would have caused the entire episode to a screech to a halt (and if any other show taking place back then actually used the term “Epic fail,” the entire SERIES would screech to a halt).  However, everything else in this stunner of an epic episode was pure gold, so I’ll overlook it and just bump my episode grade to A-. I can’t give any episode with a hallucinatory song/dance sequence that awesome even a B+.
  • Speaking of dialogue, other than what I let slide above, “The Name Game” had some of the best, most chilling, and perfectly delivered dialogue this season. The exchange I never get tired of watching was the one after Dr. Nazi and the Monsignor had agreed on Dr. Thredson handling the cremation personally:

Monsignor, as he prepares to leave the room: As a sign of Sanctity, sometimes God permits the dead body to emit an odor of sweet perfume. It was said that when Saint Theresa De Avila died, the smell of roses lingered in the convent for days.
Dr. Arden: What do you smell now, Monsignor?
Monsignor: Nothing but decay.

It was James Cromwell’s lifeless, yet perfect delivery of his line that gave me a serious chill.

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  • Still not sure what Dr. Thredson said to Kit to make him disclose where the tapes were hidden. I almost wonder if Kit knew they’d been moved, just not where, but Dr. Thredson had him in a straitjacket (even though for over half of his onscreen time, Kit’s wardrobe seems to consist of shackles, straitjackets, and other restraining devices that so many kinky Evan Peters fans online own up to getting them hot and bothered), and was not being gentle. We cut away before Dr. T. gave what had to be some kind of ultimatum. However, after I re-watched the scene, I saw Pepper (Grace and the baby’s bodyguard),  was in the room, and I don’t think she’d take kindly to Dr. T threatening the baby even verbally. Bugs me a tiny bit, but the “See Spot Jump” payoff was so good, I don’t really care.
  • Fans everywhere are going nuts  over the musical number; I thought I’d find that at least 1/3 of cynical viewers would call it a “jump the shark moment,” but only one person online did. It didn’t even make me mad enough to respond; for once I just actually felt bad for all the cool stuff and fun the person would be missing after they vowed to never watch the show ever again.  Jessica Lange did a great job singing, and Lana? That chick knows how to go-go dance!  Oh, and did you catch those shots of the “Dead Mexican” that Sister Mary Demon stabbed in the neck with scissors, then fed to the raspers? She looked all better, dancing away!
  • Are we the only ones feeling sort of bummed after all the raspers were unceremoniously executed? OK, Dr. Arden Nazi shot four, maybe he missed a few. Or one. It wasn’t as depressing as many other events that took place in episode ten, but still. Either way, I’m still going to finish that gallery, I’m a woman of my word. I really wanted to see them rip the throat out of a character who DESERVED it.  Maybe we’ll get that…
  • If this episode was supposed to contain a “moment” conveying the secret to S3, I’ve got a guess-based on Murphy saying it was not a line, but hinting at a shot or angle, here’s our prediction: watch as Dr. Nazi kills the fourth Rasper. The shooting style completely changes for a moment; we get one of those action-movie. or even a Western, bullet’s-POV-mode as he fires. It really didn’t fit, and we were in the hands of a great director and DP who wouldn’t just whimsically toss in something like that for no real reason. Crime drama? Western? Travelling “Wild West Show” type of carnival where one of the acts people pay to see are a sharpshooter shooting an apple off someone’s head? It’s probably nothing, just a hunch.
  • And finally,  Sister Mary Demon was at the top of her game (and entertainment value) right up until that third-floor shove. The writers must have known how much we’d miss Sister Mary, because this week, they fuckin’ went to town.  From the Great! Big! Music Box! unveiling (starting with Screaming Jay Hawkins’ kick-ass “I Put A Spell on You,” I guess all those prudes in the 1950s were right—Rock and Roll really IS ‘The Devil’s Music’!) dedicated especially to Miss Judy Martin… to going through the cells and planting (so to speak) a cucumber in Judy’s room (that looked way too big to have any… never mind).  and calling attention to it in front of the other now-giggling patients (“Take this from the kitchen? Get the idea from Shelley? We can’t have you diddling yourself all night long! …Do you think of Monseigneur Timothy?”)
  •  Speaking of diddling, Sister Mary Demon looked borderline orgasmic as she turned up the shock therapy on poor struggling, horrified Jude past 50% and scrambling her brain. For some reason, that act struck me as more evil than stabbing that poor, terrified Mexican inmate (who no-one ever gave a shit about looking for, along with Shelley and Pepper) in the neck with a pair of scissors. This was on a par with dumping poor Shelley in a playground , and with deliberately letting Dr. Thredson loose, then hiring him on when she knew everything he’d done and was going to do. Put that together what she did to Jude in The Name Game are those were her top three most evil, vile acts (I’m not counting some of the things she SAID, just her actions are in the running for the Vile and Evil Top Three).
  • I still think Arden is was as much of a monster as Bloody Face, but a tiny part of me felt a kind of grudging respect for the evil old bastard sticking to his guns and taking that shit to the grave with him. I don’t want to get into discussing religion and whether or not there is an afterlife. However, if in the “American Horror Story Asylum Universe” the devil is real (which Arthur had to have figured out around the holidays), then it means Hell is also real. Guess where Dr. Nazi’s soul is going to end up? I loved that the final shot (the whole last couple of minutes were flawless—though I would have liked to hear a little more agonized screaming from that shitbird, but no complaints either) was from a POV inside the crematorium, seeing the steel door slide down and shut out all everything else… except for the flames, which he’ll be burning in for all eternity.
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