Spoiler-A-Rama

So, I’ve discovered (the hard way, of course) that’s it’s often difficult to write a totally spoiler-free review. Or a piece. Especially a piece I know people want spoilers for. Instead of that hi-lighting device, soon I’ll be keeping this page for spoilers over a sentence or two long.

SEPTEMBER 23 UPDATE: See the actual BLAIR WITCH from the 2016 movie here!

We are sorry to report we have not been hearing good things about the very-hyped 2016 sequel (no, a real one this time) to 1999’s Blair Witch Project. Just check out Rotten Tomatoes or IMDB, which shows that collective reviewers/voters have given an average of 5.6 to The Blair Witch (2016). That is not considered good for a new release that did well at the box office opening weekend, then dropped off sharply via word of mouth.

If the one thing that sort of peeked your curiosity was the fact you catch an actual glimpse of the titular witch in the climax of the film, we can save you ninety minutes, 12-plus bucks, and lots of disappointment. This is not exactly crystal clear HD, or anywhere near the quality of your (terrifying) brief views of the Medeiros girl in [REC] (2007). Come to think of it, the Blair Witch “creature design”, if you can call it that, is a little derivative of the looks of Javier Botet portraying “the Attic Monster” in [REC]. Only, as we’ve already said, approximately 1% as soil-yourself-frightening as the aforementioned scene with Mr. Botet. OK, here goes! Don’t expect fireworks:

Yeah, so that’s it.

If you REALLY could not see anything, here is some uncredited “creature art” (if you know who drew it and want to give them credit, we’d be happy to; just drop us a line) that does give a better idea of the overall look, without you having to strain your eyes in the damn dark.

We have heard several people give an interesting theory, one that is probably giving the writers too much credit. Supposedly Wingard said at the big announcement that “The Woods” was really going to be a sequel to TBWP that we “would not see the actual witch in the movie”. The theory is this: that rather than this being the actual official witch, this is Heather from the original movie after being tortured/enslaved/possessed by the REAL and supposedly unseen Blair Witch. Just a thought, but we think this is supposed to be the titular witch. For one thing, TBWP 1999 mentioned that the legend went that when the suspected witch was captured, she was hung from a tree and had her arms and legs stretched out by weights/rocks tied to her limbs (ouch), which would explain the odd, excessively spindly look of what we see in the clip above.

There’s also a rumor going around that she is perhaps an alien… (sigh)

November 2, 2014;

Here’s the big AHS Freakshow spoiler. In an interview with EW.com, Ryan Murphy said that Twisty AND Edward Mordrake “Will return… big time” later in the season.

August 15th- Added a few more random Green Inferno spoilers. Now when I’ve been waiting for literally almost a fucking year to see this movie (and I don’t think I’m alone here, people are STOKED) I’m not going to spoil the ending for myself. But if I do find some blow-for-blow spoiler that I don’t want to see (and will probably quickly be losing willpower to avoid reading) I’ll just cut and paste it.

I did read that it ends with a dream sequence fake-out.

So you know the notorious, all the females cross-their-legs-at-the-idea scene involving the threatened female circumcision mentioned below in the June update? I had figured the medicine woman for the cannibal tribe was doing it so the victim would join them, since her face was all painted-up like theirs. Nope! What they DO plan to do is to do that horrible procedure, THEN draw and quarter her while keeping her alive as long as possible while they eat her.

That is FUCKED UP, and I’m no prude. These cannibals aren’t just hungry and angry, they’re sadists (or enough of them are sadists to make things even worse than the usual Italian grindhouse cannibals, because if you’ll remember, the cannibals in Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Feroux/Make Them Die Slowly at least had the motive of vengeance. If some people came out to where you lived with your family and friends, and said don’t worry, they were just there to study/document you, then proceeded to casually rape a couple of your female family members including underage ones, THEN murdered someone else when you tried to ask them what the hell they thought they were doing, you’d probably end up fighting back and playing nasty. Especially if there were no working telephones (or any method of communication with the rest of the world) and there certainly wasn’t any law enforcement.

The Green Inferno, though… the young activists actually manage to stop workers from destroying at least some of the rain forest in Peru. OK, mission accomplished! Then they suffer the misfortune of a plane crash (a pretty horrible one that leaves a few of them already in pieces), and from everything I’ve heard, there’s not even a misunderstanding. The cannibals don’t give a shit about whether the characters deserve it or not, put them in cages, and start the festivities by taking one of the guys and graphically carving him up and preparing the food and eaten him. Quite a few people who caught the movie at festivals, screenings, etc. swear the entire thing is onscreen and this is where Nicotero EFX really gets a chance to shine. Also, 9 out of 10 times they’ve said, “there is NO way they’re going to be able to get away with an R Rating/theatrical release unless they cut some of this scene out, it is way, way too gory for that”.

Funny they should say that! Though there has been no official statement for Eli Roth, the movie’s release has been postponed. We’ve got more on that on the homepage. Man, what a shitty week this was…

June 3rd, 2014 update! Green Inferno Spoilers

We got these from reading reviews… that didn’t bother with ANY kind of spoiler warning.

Tarantula scene: a guy goes to urinate, then looks down and sees a tarantula on his dick. Whether he gets bitten or not isn’t clear, but he does later say, “A spider almost fucking bit my dick off!”

Scene with THIS medicine woman/unofficial village gynecologist:

Somehow she’s WAY scarier smiling. That is not a comforting smile, this smile says, “say goodbye to your [REDACTED], sister!”

and THIS sharp tool:

There’s a scene in a classroom early on where female circumcision is horribly, graphically described. Later on, guess who gets to see it up close and personal? She is saved before any serious damage is done, but EEEEEEK! If you want to know what female circumcision is–old school–Google it or Wiki it or something. We do not feel comfortable describing it.

Update for December 4th, 2013: Some American Horror Story Coven mid-season spoilers for you! You might also want to read this EW.com piece because Ryan Murphy spills quite a bit there, but in the meantime? Here’s what we know is going down!

Cordelia will get her sight back – Myrtle Snow (and possibly Misty) help her out. The way (or the spell used) when she does will be “Gruesome” according to Murphy.
Spalding will be returning, in ghost form.
While Marie Laveau has Delphine LaLaurie in her captivity, she chops off Delphine’s head and sends it to the Academy in a cardboard box. But wait–she’s not dead yet, and cries out “Heeeeeelp meeee…” (so the EW cover is actually a spoiler).
Madison and Zoe are both going to start wanting Kyle all to themselves – jealousy rears its ugly head, and that threesome made complications in the relationship the three have with each other.
Fiona gets/pays Stevie Nicks to come to the house so that Misty Day gets her biggest wish: to sing a real duet with her (she does it to bribe Misty)
Other parts of Delphine get mutilated (not just her head being chopped off)
The coven will, at least temporarily, decide that Queenie is “dead to them” for the betrayal of joining the other side.
The reason Marie Laveau gets to live forever without any visible aging is that she sold her soul to Papa Legba (the voodoo version of the devil) in return for immortality.
Joan Ramsey (Patti Lupone, the “Holy Roller’ neighbor, is going to cause serious problems for the coven, reporting the witch-y women to…well, the” proper authorities,” (though who those authorities are, we don’t know- maybe the gang of Witch Hunters)?
Here’s the link for the “10 Big Secrets” online EW.com article, which also has several juicy details.

This shows speeds by so fast that for all we know, all these events could happen in the next episode to air, “The Sacred Talking” More spoiler news as it comes in! You shouldn’t read ’em…but we know that you REALLY want to skim them (at least)! RESIST!

NEW! SEPTEMBER 2013 UPDATE

9-14-2013 Dexter series finale entire synopsis spoiler (leaked-strong likelihood of accuracy)- The major character death and everything else that goes down

A photo from the Dexter series finale that pretty much backs up the leaked spoiler…

Hey, let’s look on the bright side. If this turns out to not be the actual series finale, then it can’t be worse than this, right? (Right? Right?) Anyway, we’d like to give credit to whomever original leaked this, but it was anonymous. NOTE: If you are reading this and you are the original writer and want credit, or just a link to your page to read the spoiler there, please contact us at the Gmail addy (bottom of About page) ; the same goes if you’d like it taken down. Horror Boom has a simple policy: we don’t take credit for things we did not write.
Please read this description (if you haven’t read this original post yet) if you want some background – or if you just want to get to it now, go ahead. You don’t even need to highlight. Read on! Oh, and uh…

SPOILER ALERT.

EPISODE OPEN: Dexter and Harrison wait in the airport for their flight to Brazil. Dexter has no idea of the events of Episode 11’s conclusion. Harrison has a stupid line, possibly about his imaginary friend Dan not having a ticket, or won’t be able to fit on the airplane, or something. It leads Dexter to start teaching Harrison about how Dan isn’t real. Dexter’s oddly self-reflecting speech is interrupted when his phone goes off. Hannah is panicking because Elway is right behind her, across the concourse. Dexter says he’ll handle it, and tries to calm her down, but his phone is interrupted by call waiting. Dexter looks and sees it’s Quinn and ignores it. (our emphasis, sorry) We get a little humor as Dexter calls in a bomb threat on a payphone to the airport using a ridiculous, slightly offensive accent. Once again, Quinn calls Dexter and Dexter again ignores it. The airport is evacuated just as Elway spots Hannah, but he has no chance to get through the sea of bodies separating them.

Dexter and Hannah hook up at a bus station outside the airport. Hannah embraces Dexter and tells him how worried she was. Meanwhile, Harrison’s wound has opened up a little, so Dexter goes into the bathroom to clean him up. Dexter again gets a call from Quinn. After seeing he has seventeen missed calls, Dexter answers, it prepared to be pissed at Quinn, but Quinn speaks first, basically saying, “What the fuck, I’ve been trying to reach you for the last hour! You need to come down to the hospital now. Deb’s been hurt.” Dexter tries to talk but Quinn again interrupts him. “It’s bad Dex…” and it sounds like Quinn starts crying. Dexter tries to calm Quinn down, but even hisvoice is shakes as he asks how bad it is. Dexter’s inner monologue (sigh) comments on how annoying all these newfound emotions have been ever since he saw Vogel killed in front of him. Quinn responds, barely fighting back more tears: “They don’t think she’ll make it through the night”. Dexter tells Hannah what happened, and how he has to get to the hospital. Just then the TV at the bus station flashes with a news report once again referring to Saxon as a wanted man, then reminds people that Hurricane Laura is making shore in the coming hour…

When Dexter arrives at the hospital, everyone is there. It’s like a giant family reunion, with Quinn, Bautista, Masuka, Matthews, even Sgt. Miller is there. All of them are very somber and try to comfort Dexter. Dexter asks to see Deb, but some nurses inform him that that’s not possible. Just then Elway shows up, and asks Dexter for a word. Dexter says it’s not a good time, clearly barely holding in his anger. Elway presses, and Dexter says he will give him five minutes. Elway starts to say that he thinks Deb is helping Hannah– but Dexter snaps and shoves him up against a wall, screaming at him about what he did to her. Quinn drags Dexter off of Elway as everyone else sits there in stunned silence, having never seen that side of Dexter before.

Dexter is still fuming, and he and Quinn duck into an empty x-ray technicians lab. Quinn tells Dexter how just before Deb was shot, he got a call from her saying she had Saxon. He then fills him in on discovering Clayton’s body at the scene as well. Quinn says he has not told anyone that Deb called saying Saxon was captured. Dexter comes out of his rage for a minute and asks him why he hasn’t told anyone. Quinn says because lethal injection is too good for that fucking monster. Dexter asks Quinn why he is telling him this, and Quinn tells Dexter to “cut the shit” that he always had his suspicions …but he looked the other way because Dexter forged evidence for him when he needed it. He tells Dexter he figured it out several months ago, around the Travis Marshall case. He tells Dexter how he sees the good in it, even going as far as saying Dexter has done more meaningful things than Quinn ever has.

Dexter falls back into a chair and starts bawling. He tells Quinn EVERYTHING, how he let Doakes take the fall for the Bay Harbor Butcher, how Deb found out about him, how Deb killed Laguerta to protect him …and how he couldn’t kill Saxon and has totally lost his urge to kill because of Hannah, and that he was planning on leaving the country with her.

Quinn tells Dexter he’ll do it. Dexter gives Quinn the M99 and tells Quinn to watch out for a few of Saxon’s tendencies. Quinn goes out to hunt down Saxon (he has Dexter’s knives that Saxon used on Clayton). Meanwhile, Saxon is trying to use the chaos of the hurricane and rely on people’s fear of his public image to flee Miami. Before he can leave, however, there is one last thing he needs; we don’t know what it is yet. We do know Saxon is growing very impatient with traffic, and, well, you know what happens when Saxon loses his temper…

Back at the hospital Dex is washing his face in the bathroom, and again his inner monologue comments on emotions, but admits that the cry he just had was relieving. Elway is still in the waiting room but can see that Dexter is torn up, so he wisely keeps his distance. Matthews puts a consoling arm around Dexter and leads him to another room. He too is visibly saddened.

He begins telling Dexter of the last few conversations he and Harry had before Harry’s death –and the whole time you’re sitting there waiting for the massive reveal that Matthews knows everything. Despite the scene being incredibly tense, nothing comes of it. The “Matthews knows everything” theory can finally be put to bed.

Quinn followed Dexter’s advice, and finds Saxon at Vogel’s house. Quinn pulls out his gun and spies on Saxon, trying to figure out what he’s up to. Saxon is frantically searching for something. Finally, he finds it on a bookshelf, his mother’s trust old record of Mamma Cass. Quinn reveals himself, asking what a monster like Saxon would want with a record like that. Saxon comments on how it is one of the few things in his life that is “pleasant” for him. Quinn makes Saxon get rid of all weapons and sit down at the table. Saxon does. Saxon is bone-chillingly calm in this scene, which makes it so much more tense for Quinn (and the viewers). Saxon coldly says that the police officer he shot was nothing personal. He merely saw her as ‘an obstruction to his freedom’. Quinn flips the fuck out on Saxon, to which Saxon replies that he will always have an upper hand because he has no emotions, echoing Dr. Vogel’s thoughts from earlier in the season. Quinn realizes Saxon is right and tries to calm himself. He asks Saxon to tell him a story. Confused, but obviously flattered, Saxon begins to recount how he faked his death and escaped an insane asylum, but in the middle of his story Quinn M99’s him under the table (HB note: that moment sounds good).

Back at the bus station, Hannah and Harrison are both really freaking out. Dexter arrives and tells them they are going to Quinn’s place. Hannah tries to ask Dexter what is wrong but he refuses to tell her. Elway tailed Dex, but does not see Hannah. He follows at a distance but despite some fancy editing, again finds nothing.

Dexter goes back to the hospital. The nurses inform him Deb is in a coma and will need to undergo surgery. Dexter goes in to Deb’s room, but can say nothing. He cries and holds her hand and then says that is all he wanted. He leaves the room.

Lights flash on in a dirty room, and we realize we are seeing something from someone’s perspective–Saxon’s. A blurry face slowly starts coming into focus. It’s Quinn’s. We are given a normal view and find that Quinn has taken Saxon back to his mental hospital and strapped him to the same chair that Saxon strapped his victims to (HB note: GOOD).
The next scenes run parallel to each other, so wording may get confusing. We see:

Deb is being prepped for surgery.
Quinn rips Saxon’s shirt open.
The surgeons lay out the surgical tools on the table.
Quinn lays out Dexter’s knives on a similar one.
Dexter watches from behind a glass as his inner monologue begins to speak about personal decisions, and their consequences.
Quinn chooses a knife as Saxon look on, bound and horrified.
Dexter’s monologue talks about the monsters inside us all at one point or another in our lives (probably in reference to the finale’s title: Remember the Monsters), and how they can be channeled for good, but mostly just go on to destroy everything we love.
Quinn is talking to Saxon. About his past, about his time at the institution, about Cassie, about Zac, about Vogel, about Clayton, and about Deb. At the same time you can tell a moral battle inside Quinn is happening.
Deb flatlines.
The doctors desperately rush to resuscitate Deb in slow motion while Dexter watches on. His inner voice comments so this is what it feels like to lose part of yourself as Dexter is dragged away by nurses and, though there is no sound, quite obviously screaming.
In that same moment, Quinn, who is now breathing deeply, sweating profusely, and crying slightly, decides to plunge the knife into Saxon’s chest.

Saxon manages to say “Exhilarating, isn’t it?” just as he dies. Quinn is no longer crying, no longer breathing deeply, no longer uptight. He is calm, and relaxed. In another slow motion shot, he stands straight up.

Dexter waits with everyone else in the lobby as the surgeon comes out …and shakes his head. Even Masuka sheds a few tears in this shot (HB note-and even we probably will too).

Dexter goes back to Quinn’s and tells Hannah what happened. She comforts him. Quinn walks in the door and tells Dexter it’s done. Dexter tells Quinn Deb is gone. Quinn seems numb to the news. He tells Dexter he needs to get them all out tonight, because he saw Elway’s car a few blocks down.

They cut the Slice of Life free and set it on fire. Quinn says he’ll vouch and say the three of them got on the boat and attempted to sail away. He gives them his car and Dexter thanks him for everything.

Fade to black.

THE END.

5-9-2013 Hemlock Grove After-Credits Spoiler

Spoiler Alert (of course)

After the season finale episode, “Birth”, there’s a scene after the credits where it’s been revealed Christina was either buried alive, came back to life after her funeral and burial, (or whatever, she’d looked pretty dead to us) but the camera shows her fresh gravestone with the epitaph “Taken Too Soon” and we hear her screaming in terror and banging to be let out. Serves her right…

Let’s hope there’s a season two, huh?

3-24-2013 Evil dead after-credits spoiler

4/4/13 update! This lasted over a week until someone narced and Tri Star told Vimeo to take it down FAST because of copyright violation. I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did. I crossed out all the text below that isn’t true anymore, left the relevant stuff, then described it, you can highlight to read!

OK, here’s the text (more or less) for a post of seeing the ~~groovy~~ after-credits sequence ~~on Vimeo~~ for the Evil Dead 2013. Even though you’re here, I still repeat…

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! ~~(It’ll probably be taken down as soon from Vimeo as someone catches it).~~ It’s exactly what you were hoping for …but somehow cooler. I actually got as big as surge of adrenaline seeing this as I did when I saw the trailer for the first time. Now the Mr. (AKA Mrs. Horror Boom’s other half) is going to have to take us to a midnight showing, so I won’t be the only one making as much noise as I did during the jump scares in the movie (update: this did indeed happen).

That being said, if you can wait until you see it in the theater, WAIT AND SEE IT AFTER THE CREDITS THEN. ~~It’s ten seconds long~~ and worth waiting for. ~~The quality will be better in the theater, too. But if you break down and watch it,the quality is enough so that you’ll sure as hell. get the idea. Don’t forget the get the volume cranked up, too~~.

Enjoy, but resist if you can! It is something filmed new, not archival footage (which was my guess) from one of the originals.

LAST CHANCE TO TURN BACK AND WAIT!

We see a very familiar profile with a VERY familiar chin (loud music sting). The profile suddenly turns and looks in the camera (lighting is still kind of shadowy) and says… “Groovy,” exactly as in Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness (and amplified). They may have just played back the sound and had Bruce Campbell lip-synch it. Another music sting and the screen goes black.

Now I SWEAR TO GOD, in the bootleg version I saw on Vimeo on 3/24, it REALLY appeared he was driving when he did it and there was an establishing shot of him driving something along. There was also a claim that it showed a dark road as an establishing shot, we saw he was driving a truck/van with the S-MART logo on the side, then it panned to the window so we could see the above. The clip on Vimeo lasted ten seconds, the one in the theater was less (but still fucking awesome). We saw the movie again last night and it was a theater that served drinks during the movie (we’ll sure as hell be going back there) and I was too loaded to remember to make a mental note whether it was in black or white, just had the color de-saturated, or in color. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t full color. But you can bet your ass it was definitely Bruce Campbell himself!

We’ll look into the case of the truck version and update you. If you want to see the page with NO clip and the announcement it was taken down, then hey, feel free to click the link below. No? We totally understand.

*SPOILER* Evil Dead 2013 after credits on Vimeo