American Horror Story Freak Show Opening Credits Are Here, You Won’t BELIEVE What FX Let Them Get Away With!

Let’s just get this out of the way, and clear out the easily offended. We see conjoined skeleton twins masturbating. Not once, mind you, but TWICE. One shares a head, the other shares a body and has two heads (Sarah Paulson had an ‘insight’ on what this may be hinting at, but we’ll get to that later).

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Okay, so Ryan Murphy has said that S4 of American Horror Story will have a “very different look.” We couldn’t really see a difference in the PR photos or the long trailer that debuted Tuesday night (more on that later, we are seriously having trouble keeping up with the new promos/media) on Sons Of Anarchy.Screen shot 2014-10-02 at 7.54.02 AM

 

You can sure as hell see it here. Nothing is really hinted at as in the first three (we liked all three, and consider the Coven title credits to end up being scarier than the season itself). We have stop-motion animation (or CGI set up to look like stop-motion)!  Everything is bright and colorful and sometimes in-your-face.. So far only tiny snippets–fast ones– of the opening credits of Murder House and Asylum were in color, and it looked washed out. Coven was all black and white. OK, watch the credits to Freak Show in HD right here, and then we’ll point out a few things. If you are scared of clowns, AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE (then again, I doubt anyone with a clown phobia will have anything to do with this season).

These may be a slightly extended version of the credits, since it runs about a minute long (also unlike other seasons).

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So plenty of evil clown imagery, including Twisty the Clown making balloon animals and then stabbing them with a giant butcher’s knife. A guy with a third leg (with a SHOE on it) instead of genitalia. Stuff that looks like they borrowed it from the more horrifying sections of the Mutter Museum. Plenty of two-headed creatures (including clowns). Did you catch the conjoined twins touching themselves? In the second shot they’re doing it through their skirt, but it’s still not especially subtle.

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We’re going to pick this up later, because after watching The ABCs of Death 2 we already have a ton of nightmare material in our brains waiting to pounce on us the second we hit dreamland. Until the, let your Freak Flag fly!

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And The A-List Mystery Actor Playing Guy LaPointe in Kevin Smith’s “Tusk” Is… (SPOILER)

OK… last chance to keep from spoiling who the unbilled, “quirky”, well-liked A-List actor playing the detective in Kevin Smith’s body horror opus Tusk. Are you sure you don’t want to preserve the surprise?

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Mr. Johnny Depp! Just who we had hoped it would be. His daughter also appears in the movie.

This isn't necessarily him in character, just a photo of Mr. Depp. We looked really hard for one of him appearing in the movie, too.

This isn’t necessarily him in character, just a photo of Mr. Depp. We looked really hard for one of him appearing in the movie, too.

Kevin Smith’s first choice for the role was Quentin Tarantino, whom Smith says turned the part down because he’s not really focusing on acting so much these days. This may be–OK, will be– the only time in history Johnny Depp was the second choice for an acting role after the part was declined by Tarantino! Wikipedia (with Smith’s podcast as the source) says that Tusk’s starting date was delayed to November  2013 due to the filming location moving from Canada to North Carolina, “then an additional two days of filming occurred in Los Angeles for scenes involving Johnny Depp’s character Guy LaPointe”. Here’s the citation for that.

Sources:

Fangoria.com

Wikipedia

plus some guy starring in the movie names Justin Long.

Who knows, they all could be lying their asses off as part of some elaborate prank, but that would actually hurt rather than help the movie. All sources point to Johnny Depp as the unbilled actor playing a (retired) detective looking into the missing-persons case of Justin Long’s character.  We’re also going out on a limb here and guessing the detective will be killed right after he discovers that Michael Parks character has kidnapped him. A moment too late!

Here’s the first full-length trailer for Tusk, and honestly, we think it looks pretty goddamned horrifying (“fucked-up” seems to be the most used adjective by fans who caught the premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival Midnight Madness showing recently).

That’s what he gets for growing that hipster walrus mustache, huh?

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True Blood Fan Fave Talks This Week’s Shocker – He Saw It Coming, We Didn’t (EW.com, SPOILERS)!,

We’d talk about it, but it’s… too soon!

New American Horror Coven Survey -Who Will Be Revealed As The New Supreme In Finale?

Welp, we’re coming up on the final episode of American Horror Story Coven.  The first half of the season met my (admittedly high) expectations; the second half (I’d say the wheels started coming off for me around Episode 8) not so much. However, that’s a piece for a different night. I’m still interested–not as much as last season, but interested–in how it’s all going to end. I’m personally hoping for a Fiona comeback (but that’s another poll). We know one thing– The New Supreme will be revealed!

More than one answer is allowed, and also as usual, you can put in a write-in vote for “other”. Have fun!

Because hey, you never know.

Because hey, you never know.

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Hell Yeah! THE ABCs OF DEATH (The Long-Awaited, Bloody Good Horror Anthology) Is FINALLY AVAILABLE ON DEMAND January 31st! Ready To Learn Some ABCs? Read On!

I’ve covered this 26-part horror anthology film since July 2012 (I was actually sold the instant I heard the pitch/set-up), and after much frustrating bumping around with the release date, The ABCs of Death  will be available On Demand (The latest trailers say “Everywhere On Demand”, but obviously, you’ll need to check with your cable provider) beginning 12:01 AM January 31st, followed by a limited theatrical release on March 8th.  After a 6-month wait, you think we’re not waiting up to watch it after midnight Wednesday, the second it shows on the menu?

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They did finally release the list of every director, their letter, and the title of their segment. All we’ve known since late last year is Xavier Gens’ “X is For XXL” (supposed to be a huge standout, and gore-off) and of course, “T” contest winner Lee Hardcastle with his Claymation stand-out “T is for Toilet” (you can see it by hitting the link to this piece, some friendly advice. do NOT watch while eating, on hallucinogenics, feeling emotionally unstable, or if you have a rare fear of and/or nightmares about hungry carnivorous toilets).

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There’s some of my favorite directors (especially international ones) at the helm here to sweeten the already-great set-up, and the segment titles alone are enough to tip me off that I shouldn’t watch while feeling nauseous. Ready? Here’s the 26! To give an element of surprise, and also because I’ve got a deadline zooming at me head-on, I kept the listing in alphabetical order of the directors, rather than the letters. The movie will be showing them in alphabetical order, though!

Kaare Andrews   —  segment “V is for Vagitus”
Angela Bettis    —  segment “E is for Exterminate”
Hélène Cattet    —   segment “O is for Orgasm”
Ernesto Díaz Espinoza   —   segment “C is for Cycle”
Jason Eisener    —  segment “Y Is for Youngbuck”*
Bruno Forzani    —   segment “O is for Orgasm”
Adrián García Bogliano  —  segment “B Is for Bigfoot”
Xavier Gens   —  segment  “X Is for XXL”*
Lee Hardcastle    —  Contest Winning segment “T Is for Toilet”*
Noboru Iguchi  —  segment “F is for Fart”
Thomas Cappelen Malling  —  segment “H is for Hyrdo-Electric Diffusion”
Jorge Michel Grau  — segment “I is for Ingrown”
Anders Morgenthaler    —   segment “K is for Klutz”
Yoshihiro Nishimura   —  segment “Z is for Zetsumetsu”*
Banjong Pisanthanakun  — segment “N is for Nuptials” *
Simon Rumley   —  segment “P Is for Pressure”
Marcel Sarmiento   —  segment “D Is for Dogfight” *
Jon Schnepp —  segment “W is for WTF?”
Srdjan Spasojevic   —  segment “R Is for Removed”
Timo Tjahjanto    —   segment “L is for Libido” *
Andrew Traucki  —  segment “G is for Gravity”
Nacho Vigalondo   — segment “A Is for Apocalypse”
Jake West  — segment “S is for Speed”
Ti West  — segment “M Is for Miscarriage”
Ben Wheatley   — segment “U Is for Unearthed”
Adam Wingard  —  segment “Q Is for Quack”*
Yudai Yamaguchi  —  segment “J is for Jidai-geki” *

We also took the liberty of marking (with an asterisk ) some of the segments that we’ve read consistently –and from several sources– were supposed to be especially impressive stand-outs …with the critics and the crowd’s biggest audience re-actions.

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Oh, we’re sure those aren’t the only nine out of twenty-six good ones; these are just the ones that get mentioned the most. I wouldn’t be surprised (especially judging from some of the still photos and titles) if many of the rest are too outrageous or offensive to describe. I believe four minutes is the time limit for each segment, so if there’s a few that you find boring or stupid, you won’t have to wait long until a good one comes up. Screen shot 2013-01-30 at 6.51.51 AM If even half of them are fun, we’ll be happy. I know there’s a few failed attempts, but with 26 segments and directors like Xavier Gens, Lee Hardcastle, and half the team responsible for the Thai horror classic Shutter  (Banjong Pisanthanakun) in there, fine with me.

If you’d rather have as few surprises as possible and know the exact order of the ways to die, here’s the ‘spoiler version’ of the above list. Just high-light to read.

  • A: Nacho Vigalondo (A for Apocalypse)
  • B: Adrian Garcia Bogliano (B Is for Bigfoot)
  • C: Ernesto Diaz Espinoza (C is for Cycle)
  • D: Marcel Sarmiento (D is for Dogfight)
  • E: Angela Bettis (E is for Exterminate)
  • F: Noboru Iguchi (F is for Fart)
  • G: Andrew Traucki (G is for Gravity)
  • H: Thomas Malling (H is for Hyrdo-Electric Diffusion)
  • I: Jorge Michel Grau (I is for Ingrown)
  • J: Yûdai Yamaguchi (J is for Jidai-geki)
  • K: Anders Morgenthaler (K is for Klutz)
  • L: Timo Tjahjanto (L is for Libido)
  • M: Ti West (M for Miscarriage)
  • N: Banjong Pisanthanakun (N is for Nuptials)
  • O: Bruno Forzani, Héléne Cattet (O is for Orgasm)
  • P: Simon Rumley (P is for Pressure)
  • Q: Adam Wingard, Simon Barrett (Q for Quack)
  • R: Srdjan Spasojevic (R is for Removed)
  • S: Jake West (S is for Speed)
  • T: Lee Hardcastle (T is for Toilet)[4]
  • U: Ben Wheatley (U is for Unearthed)
  • V: Kaare Andrews (V is for Vagitus)
  • W: Jon Schnepp (W is for WTF)
  • X: Xavier Gens (X for XXL)
  • Y: Jason Eisener (Y for Young Buck)
  • Z: Yoshihiro Nishimura (Z is for Zetsumetsu)

And there’s PLENTY more information on The ABCs of Death where that came from! Keep your eyes peeled…er, perhaps not the right phrase at the right time. Watch this space. That’s better!

If you want to see the Red Band trailer, it’s in this post here. Check it out!

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American Horror Story Asylum Shockers: Ryan Murphy On “The Name Game’s” Major Character Deaths And Twists- S3 Hints -EW.com EXCLUSIVE (Spoilers)

I still can barely string sentences together, that blew me away so much. So read THIS! More from Horror Boom after our fucking heads are still spinning!

You should see my notes, if you want a good laugh. Pretty much a transcription of what I was yelling at the TV (when my jaw wasn’t hanging open). Will post those soon, THEN the usual “Ten SHOCKING Things We Learned.”

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Ten Shamelessly Twisted Things We Learned From American Horror Story Asylum Episode 9, “The Coat Hanger” (SPOILERS)

Well, hot damn!

OK, let’s get the following suspicions we had that were confirmed out of the way briefly before we get our serious learn on here . 1. Yes, there is a connection between the aliens showing up and Kit having sex. So far they’ve taken Alma and Grace, and Kit got the tracking device. 2. Lana’s pregnant, alright, and.  3. Dylan McDermott is the son of Bloody Face, Oliver Thredson, and that was him killing pretty much the entire cast of the wrap-around story so far. Which leads us to…

1.  We learned Johnny Thredson’s back-story (which is a lot like many of us predicted …so far). This is coming from Bloody Face Jr. (who will be referred to as “BFJr” when we’re pressed for time), and sociopaths have been known to be pretty good liars (and Ryan Murphy has, too, though only when it’s to throw fans off a scent, not because he’s a sociopath). Here’s what we learned about his back story, broken down, from the cold open… he says, “I wanna stop. I really do..”

  • BF Jr. has had ‘impulses’ ever since he was a kid. The way he described what the impulses and how amazing they made him feel when he acted on them, the therapist thought (before he got to the part about skinning a cat) he was talking about compulsive masturbation. I’m no prude, but that’s just sick.
  • He started out by skinning a dead cat. Then he realized killing them felt even better.*
  • He grew up in foster care. His foster family kicked them out “when they saw the evidence”.
  • He got bounced from foster care house to house, until he figured out how to do it without getting caught. He said he hadn’t “harmed” any animals since he was a teenager.
  • Then he went to prison for armed robbery, where he learned killing small animals is a precursor to psychopathy. That got him thinking what made him the way he was, and who were his real parents?
  • Johnny found out who his real parents where when he started looking it upon the internet that they had “in the joint”.
  • After he found out who he was, those impulses got stronger and harder to control, especially certain thoughts. First they told him to retrace his roots.
  • Now he’s back in the house where his father lived  (not sure how he afforded such an awesome mid-century modern house, I’m pretty sure he’s living there in, let’s say, a non-traditional way, such as killing the owners and occupants and disposing of their bodies)
  • The thoughts and impulses started telling him to hurt women. Not just hurt them, skin them. Like the cats.
  • He got frustrated because he ‘made a mess’ when he tried it (as we see a flashback of him trying to skin Theresa in broken-down Briarcliff, and getting pissed because she was screaming, and yelling at her to shut up and stop moving-“This is delicate work!”). He knew he botched the job because he didn’t have the same medical training and skills as his father.
  • He wants to stop skinning/killing until he can get into medical school (“If it’s not too late”). He wants to learn to do it as well as his father did. And only then he reveals to the now-terrified therapist that his father was …Bloody Face.

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2.  We learned that Sister Mary Demon is dee-lighted  to share the news with Lana that she’s pregnant, and that she is NOT getting rid of the kid via a “Drano Margarita” (you don’t want details). Sister Mary Demon tells Lana she WILL have this baby. “This is an insane asylum. People hump like bunnies here, you’re hardly our first unwed mother. Of course, the babies are  born a little…cuckoo”. Later, when she tells Lana the coat-hanger abortion (gah!) was unsuccessful, Sister Mary Eunice simply glows with nasty glee.

I don’t trust anyone… or anything.

 

 

3. Lana Winters has wised up, and turns out to be a very good actress when she needs to be. She tells Sister Mary she must have hallucinated the rape, and when she politely informs Sister Mary Demon that she can’t have this baby, threatening to put her in restraints for nine months if that’s what it took, she played along. Lana has also figured out that Sister Mary Demon is an evil bitch (“You’re worse than Sister Jude… you’re a sadist”), but I don’t think she has any idea—yet— she’s actually demonically possessed. Unfortunately, Sister Mary fucks with her anyway by the end of the episode (more on that later)… but Lana makes VERY effective use of her time until then.

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4. We learned Lana really, really  wants to kill Bloody Face. Like, immediately. This is, I think, the second time Kit has had to talk her out of it and remind her if she kills him now,  not only will Kit take the fall, but Dr, Thredson will never take the blame. Though I think if Kit wasn’t involved, odds are even she would have killed him as slowly as possible without getting busted,  then gotten rid of his body effectively,  probably chopping him into 400 pieces, just for sheer payback. Luckily, she now has leverage on him, can get some payback by making him suffer WHILE getting evidence she and Kit need to prove he’s the real Bloody Face, then kill him (that last part doesn’t work out… yet. “I need Thredson to talk”. Lana gets an idea… a great  one.

 

And I know something else… it’s a boy.

 

 

5. We learned how to really hit Bloody Face where it hurts. Go find him where you tied him up in some deep dark catacomb of the basement (where apparently only giving him enough the minimum amount of food and water to keep him alive) prove he got you pregnant, then threaten to get rid of the baby. First let him think you’ll have it, then give the baby away and brought up in foster care, LIKE HIM.

After some begging, she tells him she’s  getting rid of it, and since she’s stuck here, “I’m gonna have to get creative”, and pulls out a sharp, thick wire coat hanger, and takes her panties off.  “This is a mercy killing, Oliver. No child should ever have to grow up knowing his Daddy was Bloody Face.” (check). Oliver gets very desperate and apologetic, very suddenly. “You owe me this, It’s my child too, please.” In a clever twist, she tells him he’s a sociopath (check) and can never be honest with anybody (check). When he says he’ll prove it, she asks him why he killed each of the women, adding up to a very honest confession. Then she reveals Kit’s been out of sight with the suitcase-sized reel-to-reel recorder –the same one he got Kit’s “confession” on, ha-HAH — the whole time!  Oliver goes back into misogynistic blurt-mode again, calls her a bitch, and that he knows it was all an act. Not so. In perhaps the cruelest act she can think of to hurt him (which you’ll get NO complaints from us about), she tells him she was pregnant all right, but she already used the coat-hanger on his “beloved baby …last night” (we see the wince-inducing flashback).  “It started as a trickle…and within an hour, it was just a bloody mess.”

After they do knife count, I’m gonna pocket one. Then I’m going to come back tonight and slit your throat nice and easy. I always wanted to know what it was like inside the mind of a killer. Now I know.

 

6. Ryan Murphy, and Lily Rabe, have mentioned before that Sister Mary Demon actually has a plan and a goal . Tonight we found out what it was. She tells Timothy that she agrees with what Sister Jude told her- he should  be the pope. Not only that,  she wants to save souls with him, and serve him… alongside him… all the way to the Vatican in Rome. Oh, shit.

I don’t mind telling you …I’m pretty scared.

 

7. Speaking of Father Timothy, we found out how shitty what he is capable of.  Either Dr. Nazi must have some serious additional dirt on him, or nothing will get in the way of his ambition to eventually become Pope, or some combination of the two. The Monsignor took away everything sister Jude had left—her freedom, her safety, and her title as a nun. They even gave all her possessions, including her clothes, to the poor.  “Now you’re just plain Judy Martin”. (We’re going to have to get used to calling her that). Worse,  he knew what he was doing to her was about the cruelest fate possible. Worst of all, he knew it was a cover-up and she was innocent. Thus, we patiently, hopefully waited through the episode for Leigh to turn on him violently.  We’re sure we don’t need to explain why wretched Sister Jude earned that “Goddamned cigarette” from Lana, if you’ve seen the episode.  He appears to try to feel better about himself by “save” Leigh Emerson’s “soul.” Yep, the convicted, confessed killer of nineteen people (20 if the guy whose face he bit a big chunk off of died). Oh hey, here’s something Timothy  learned the hard way, up next…

Lana:  My God, what did they do to you?
Jude: Nothing I didn’t do to you.

 

8. If a psychotic killer, and possibly rapist,  who you saw bite a guard’s face off a year ago and knock a guard off a ladder and smash the sharp tree-topping ornament in his face recently, does a complete 180 and proclaims piously that he wants to be forgiven by God and make up for all the damage he caused… well, maybe wait, I don’t know, at least a week or so, before trusting him enough to unlock his shackles and leg irons, be alone with him in a chapel, and perform a baptism in a basin about the size of a hot-tub. Otherwise, you may wake up (after being drowned into unconsciousness) nailed to a cross and wishing you were dead so strongly that the actual Angel of Death hears you …and comes calling.

This is going to hurt.

 

9. Now that Dr. Nazi has seen it and has scientific evidence (he saw it and  has the claw print he made), he believes Kit about the aliens. “They’re experimenting. Probably refining  some form of eugenics,” he tells Kit after questioning him (not via torture, but in his office over a “friendly” bottle of fine scotch and a smoke) about having sex with Alma—and Grace— before she was taken. Ryan Murphy teased this info as a hint about what the aliens wanted in the first place, and their interest/connection with Kit;  now he’s confirmed it: Eugenics. But of course, being a “man of science”, he wants to attempt to bring the aliens back-by almost  killing him. This is where the completely batshit things that happen in the episode as Ken Tucker teased before it aired really kick into high gear.

YIPES!!!

This was in the official preview for “The Coat Hanger”, yet nowhere to be found in the episode. We included it because it was so disturbing (it better show up at some point in the next four episodes). See “Stray Thoughts” for more on this.

10. When Kit’s heart stops (so, we suppose a main character did technically die in the episode, though he’ll probably be brought back…we hope), the aliens start putting on their show—the usually ear-splitting noises and flashing, then almost blinding lights. Stunned, Dr. Nazi wan towards the source of a light, and enters a cell/room only to discover PEPPER returned (the aliens took her too, Murphy confirmed, and she came back ”different”),  SPEAKING NORMALLY AND CALMLY,  informing Dr. Nazi that  “The baby’s full term, it won’t be long.” What… the… ffffuu–  Dr. Nazi seems to barely notice Pepper (still a pinhead, but she doesn’t act like one, just looks like one), he’s too busy being blown away by the sight of a now-returned Grace- nude, glowing with life, and very, very pregnant.

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Judy: Yeah, things are gonna change around here. (gets up and destroys “Dominique” record with her bare hands)
Lana:  (impressed)  Well… hot damn.

*Now, see THIS is when the therapist should have kept a poker face but quietly excused herself for “just one second”, then as soon as she was out of Johnny’s eyesight, sprinted out of the building and down the street to safety. Don’t wait until he starts talking about how hard it is to skin a woman alive before you start to panic.

Stray Thoughts:

 

  • I guess we could discuss the themes of forgiveness in the episode; who deserves it and who doesn’t, and how being told by someone they’ve forgiven you is not always positive.  Instead, we’d rather talk about the juicier stuff, and leave it at this:  Telling someone that their sins have been forgiven does not always end well for you, either (see Father Timothy). I think the only type of forgiveness that was positive and from the heart (and very satisfying for us to watch) occurred during the scene in the day room with Sister Jude  Judy Martin and Lana Winters. Lana is sitting there looking the most bitter we’ve ever seen her, Sist Judy enters to the strains of Dominique, looking self-conscious at the her former co-worker’s stares and smirks but trying to maintain her dignity. She starts by sitting down at the table with Lana and says she doesn’t expect her to forgive her, but honestly tells her that what she did to her was wrong—and agrees when Lana adds it was criminal.  When Lana admits that she doesn’t trust anyone, or anything, Sister Jude gets up and yanks the needle off the “Dominique” record- VVVVOOOOP!  and many of the inmates react with applause and even some cheers (so did we).
  • Did anyone else think that Jude was going to keep a sharp vinyl shard and stab or slice someone who had it coming, like within the next minute or so of the scene, instead of returning to the table with Lana (or at least slip a shard into her pocket)? Well, she might have it stashed away. It could show up later…
  • Ian McShane, we’re glad you were back, and we’re sorry to see you escape  (though at least now that the holidays are over, maybe McShane’s character won’t murder or rape anyone else). Hey, maybe he decided to exit via the woods, with the hungry Raspers. You think YOU can bite a face off, Leigh Emerson?? Think you might have met your match, there. Murphy has said that we’ll find out —probably on the finale— what happened to him, or where he went, just for closure. I don’t think McShane will get any more screen time. Sister Jude oops, Jude,  dammit— was terrified to see him approaching her bedside, but kept eye contact and did a fairly good job of not showing her fear, though she couldn’t hide her disgust.
  • There were lots of great lines in the episode, and McShane got one of the funniest. He’s being strapped down in an isolation room for some sort of sexual misconduct (that I hope was consensual, but he’s not exactly Don Draper and if a nun was going to say the hell with it and sleep with a patient, there’s a few slightly more appealing choices—not many, but still)  and Sister Jude, hate in her eyes, says to make it tight. “Oh yeah, I like ‘em tight! Just ask Sister Chastity.” Jude snaps that she will deal with Sister Chastity herself and Leigh replies, “You might wanna start by giving her a new name!” She slaps his face, but you can tell he thought it was worth it.
  • We’re really  concerned that the only evidence (and the only copy) of Dr. Thredson/Bloody Face’s confession is hidden away in the hydrotherapy room. We just hope to God that both Kit and Lana were in on the hiding place. Then again, if Sister Mary Demon has her way, they’re probably both fucked on many levels.
  • We were positive–from the moment the still photos were released– that the cigarette Dr. Nazi gave to Kit was going to be laced with Sativa (so he’d hallucinate and Dr. Nazi would work it into some evil plan)- because his little greenhouse isn’t just a hobby. You can’t just go into store and buy Belladonna /Deadly Nightshade, either, even back in the 60s. If you have no idea what Sativa is, you can read about it here (and on a ton of other BLTC type websites out there, probably).
  • Is Sister Mary forcing Lana to have her baby because she knows what a monster the baby is going to become, or just out of sheer spite because she knows how evil it is to make a gay woman who was raped by a serial killer (who also killed her lover) and got pregnant from the rape have to live with it in her body for nine months and then go through childbirth to have it? We’re guessing a bit of both.
  • I don’t know how much time was supposed to have passed, I’m assuming a few days or so, but Leigh sure healed quickly after Sister Jude jammed that sharp metal letter opener into his neck. He appeared none the worse for wear, other than a gauze bandage wrapped around his neck. Maybe Dr. Hans Gruper, who proved he can actually save a life if he really applies himself, gave him some stitches and antibiotics— after all, Dr. Nazi was in on the “frame-up” of Sister Jude.
  • Anyone else notice there were shots in the preview that were not in the actual episode?  That includes the one above, the one of Sister Mary Demon with someone (I think it was Lana) miming a sarcastic Oh, boo-hoo!   directed at them, and we didn’t see THIS disturbing one either. And we really, REALLY looked for it, too:
Not in "The Coat Hanger", but in the preview for it. Where would it even go?

Not in “The Coat Hanger”, but in the preview for it. All we know is it BETTER damn well show up later! We already got screwed with all the AHS S1 DVD/Blu-ray; Murphy describes all kind of cool shit on the commentary, then says, “we had to cut it out, but I’m sure it’ll be a special feature on the deleted scenes/out-takes on this DVD, you can watch it there.” NO we fuckin’ CAN’T! Because there’s no deleted/extended scenes, or even out-takes in the special features on the whole set! At the very least, tell us where the above was supposed to go. Cross your fingers with us that this and the one above comes up later in the next four episodes…

  • We can’t fucking wait for the last four episodes (starting January 2nd, 2013), and  really  can’t wait to see  the two toughest cookies in the joint: Judy Martin and Lana Winters- team up. Of all the (human) women in there, they’re the ones whose good side I’d try to stay on (or join up with). This should be very, very good.

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American Horror Story Asylum – Who Is Bloody Face? Horror Boom Wants Your Opinion – Quick Poll

So after “I Am Anne Frank, Part One” I know you’ve got theories and opinions on who Bloody Face is.  Most people are pretty sure it’s a man, which I currently agree with. If Bloody Face was a woman, it’d have to be two people, like Sister Jude riding piggyback on Sister Mary Eunice’s shoulders*  then draping an elaborately made costume over them.  Not to mention, they’d have to wear special gloves that gave them man-hands.  Since last night shoved Dr. Thredson and Monsignor Timothy into the running, there’s quite a few more  feasible candidates now. The poll I made below lets you vote for two different people (if you can call Dr. Nazi a person), and according to Ryan Murphy, Bloody Face will be unmasked NEXT WEEK (with his/her/its “origin revealed” in the following episode, appropriately titled “The Origins of Monstrosity”). It’ll let you write in the answer, too. If you follow this blog regularly and want to put your own theory in the comment section (hit Reply) AND you’re right, I’ll send you a $5 Amazon Gift Card (all you need to give is your email address, Amazon takes care of the rest). So guess away! My regular “Ten Things We Learned…” piece/recap following every episode will be up later tonight.

*Hey, get your mind out of the gutter! It’s getting way too crowded down here!

American Horror Story Asylum – News and SPOILER Round-Up For Upcoming Episodes (Part 2 of 2) – Plus Pinhead Pepper Plots REVENGE!

Above/featured image: Could this be from Grace’s insane crime flashback? Or just a crime flashback? Is that Pepper the Pinhead in there? I’m curious why Pepper feels protective (or even friendly) towards Shelley, by the way. Perhaps Pepper was an average, attractive woman at one point (kind of like the pretty Naomi Grossman who plays her–damn, she REALLY cleans up well;  I’m a babe, but it takes me at least two hours of prep time for me to look that pretty), but I have no idea how you would surgically make someone’s head half its normal size and pointy? I’m still trying to figure out how they made the actress look so ugly –other than prosthetic appliances for her face, and some really bad fake teeth. Perhaps Shelley was just kind towards Pepper once. Does it look like Pepper has a lot of friends?

OK, where was I when Part One of this piece left off? Oh yeah  —lots  more spoiler ground to cover.

Alright, so if you saw those last few tweet replies from Ryan Murphy, we now know:

The things in the woods/Raspers are “mutants” who are not necessarily cannibals (just really hungry).  I guess we’ll find out if Shelley’s legs end up as their next meal.  Well technically, I suppose that wouldn’t prove anything. We don’t see a lot of wildlife–or any at all– in the area …so I don’t think they HAVE to have human flesh. It just makes things all that more fun… did I just write that? I didn’t mean it to sound so twisted. Oh well.

So, soon we’ll find out why Grace ended up in Briarcliff. I caught some very fast shots like the one above, but I wasn’t fast enough to get a screen cap of a shot showing someone’s lower body, dressed in either a fuzzy robe/pajamas or both, wearing fluffy bunny slippers, and dragging an axe beside them along the floor. Whatever explanation turns out to fit that clip, I bet it’s going to be awesome!

Here’s another spoiler tidbit that I found on TVLine‘s Ask Ausiello:

Question: Anything on American Horror Story: Asylum? I’m officially obsessed! —Anna

Ausiello: Wednesday’s episode boasts one of the young season’s most unsettling non-horror scenes — one of the doctors aims to “cure” Lana of her lesbianism through a graphic session of aversion therapy. Also: A new character by the name of Anne Frank (yes, the one with the diary), played by Franka Potente, has some provocative intel on one of Briarcliff’s denizens that explains so, so, so much.

At this point, I feel it’s a toss-up who’s going to get the more horrible , wretched fate: Lana Winters or Shelley. We also got that fan tweet answer from Ryan Murphy that sounds like Episode Five is going to be the shiznit! Lana’s re-union with, or at least finding out/getting closure on her lover. Possibly Pepper’s Revenge, possibly the end for poor Shelley. Chloë Sevigny said in an interview that Lana ends up outside Briarcliff, but in a terrible place. Do I see a reunion in woods? Or will it be something even more brutal (though I have trouble trying to figure out what that might possibly be)?

OK, here’s one really interesting item, pretty much open to interpretation. Recently EW.com was asked for some spoilers on upcoming episodes (which I think will only occur before Episode 5 is over, but it could be Ep. 6). Here’s how it went down (source: EW.com)

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: ASYLUM: LET’S PLAY A GAME (I’m in!)…

Luckily, there’s a little less gross-out in the next two episodes and a lot of developments. (Mind you, there are still some gross-out moments.) For a taste of what’s to come: Who’s up for a game?

  • This week, [character A] will [spoiler A] with [character B] in the kitchen.
  • 
Did we know that [character C] knows about [character D’]s evil deeds? I don’t think we did…
  • Two patients will be outside Briarcliff’s walls sooner than we think. But there’s a twist…
  • As EW told you first, this week, you’ll be introduced to a character named Anne Frank (Franka Potente).  Along with making crazy accusations about [character E], she’ll have [character F] questioning [his or her] sanity.
  • [Character G] is going to try to [spoiler B] [character H]!! [Her or she] might succeed…

Franka Potente starts her guest run in Episode 4, “I Am Anne Frank, Part 1.”

So, here’s my speculations for this game… filling in the blanks. I’m actually glad that was all the info they got out. I have some good guesses, but also a couple stupid ones, so thanks for bearing with me.

Character A – Grace,  Spoiler A- Have sex with Kit in the kitchen
Character  C – my guess is Monseigneur, Character D- is Dr. Arden.

As for who ends up outside Briarcliff sooner than we think, but there’s a twist…  I’m thinking it’s Lana and Shelley, either as Raspers or victims of the Raspers. What a drag.

Character E is Dr. Arden, Character F is Sister Jude.

Character G, Spoiler B, Character H- This one gets hard. “Spoiler B” is either have sex with, kill, or lobotomize*. That leaves a BIG amount of choices. Uh, Dr. Arden is going to try to lobotomize Dr, Thredson? I give up.

Episiode 4, “I Am Anne Frank” has already started on the East Coast, so I’ll Rasp this up. I have PLENTY more coming soon!

*Reminds of a what would be a really fucked-up new version of the game “Bang, Marry, Kill” where someone gives you three names (all of them horrible, or all of them people you think are really hot, keeps it interesting that way), and asks you to pick which one you want to.. yeah, you get the idea. When we played it in the 80s, our version was “Marry, Have a dirty weekend with, or Push off a cliff”.   Now “Have Sex With, Kill, Lobotomize” …I don’t think I want to play that version!

 

 

Why I’ll Be Waiting Until Daylight Before “Scariest Japanese Urban Legend of The Month” Goes Up Here

This was actually going to be a post for “Scariest Japanese Urban Legend of the Month”, but I scared the shit out of myself just researching it at 3AM. I figured oh, it’s not going to be that scary, because I bet I’ve already heard of it. Whoop-de-doo.  Twenty minutes into researching the legend of “Hikiko” I heard something heavy and loud fall on the (hardwood) floor in the kitchen and almost had a goddamned heart attack. Figured one of the cats wanted attention, because it turned out to be a giant plastic binder clip that one of them pushed off when I went out to look.  I calmed down and then researched more–bad idea when there’s a windy rainstorm outside. All I needed was thunder and lightning.

I was already realizing 1. I should probably stop and write something else for tonight, as the research just kept getting creepier and 2. I was going to have to write about it when it was light out if I wanted to fall asleep while it was still dark, when I heard something else fall off the kitchen counter (not as loudly). I went out hesitantly and saw an empty Dansani water bottle had fallen and was rolling slowly on the floor. Then I realized both cats were asleep in the other room.

At this point, I would just like to thank whoever is in charge up there for the gift of a very patient husband, who woke up when I asked him to and demonstrated how it was a draft, not something freaky and supernatural that blew it off the counter. Thank you.

Laugh all you want! Just imagine watching THIS (below) with the sound on, after dark, and hearing sudden strange noises down the dark hall from your room:

Plus, this is just a snippet of a longer video about the legend I’m going to post, too, and I had to turn the sound down ten minutes in. After that I decided to bookmark it and try to pretend I hadn’t seen it until the sun came out. The first bookmark tag I used was “scary as fuck.”

OK, back to what I was doing…