All-New NSFW Red Band Trailer For Upcoming “The ABCs of Death” (2012) Is Bloody, Sick Fun! (HD)

Oh, and if you have been eagerly anticipating the movie like I have, and keeping an eye out of reviews and news alerts, see if you can guess which clip is from the Xavier Gens segment “X is for XXL”, which almost every   review I’ve read pointed out as one of the most memorable and gruesome, in which a woman unhappy with her plus-size figure decides to do something about it …all at once.

 

“Warning! Contains Graphic Violence, Nudity, Graphic Content, Not Appropriate For Anyone Under”-YOU’RE ON! You had me at “26 Directors – 26 Ways To Die,”  ABCs of Death Red Band Trailer. I’ve been psyched for this since July. Finally, the trailer for the film is here (though I loved the one composed of contest entries for the letter T, and am still posting my Top 20 Picks). The gloriously gory claymation horror short “T Is For Toilet” from Lee Hardcastle (which was the winner), “T is for Temptation,” and “T is for Table” are still the ones I really wish could be included in the feature film too,  as they hold up to multiple viewing and still make me shake my head and smile. For some reason “T is for Table” actually still frightens me, even though I was also practically jumping up and down the first time I saw it, it was so perfect. The short even has a little bit of a Final Destination  vibe to it; though I can’t really articulate intelligently why with all this over-the-counter cold medicine in me, I hope to later.

Before I post the trailer, let me just point out that I wanted to also put RED BAND TRAILER OF THE MONTH! in the title, but it wouldn’t fit. FUCK YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER! would have done it too (in all caps, with multiple exclamation points) but some of my relatives are just now checking out Horror Boom for the first time, and they wouldn’t be mad, but they’d be disappointed in me (which as anyone who has ever heard this from a parent knows, is much worse). You have to admit, that’s a great tagline for something that you have to be a legal adult to go see, where you already know what you’re getting is sick. The ABCs of Death: Fuck Yeah, Motherfucker.*

Oh, and if you have been early anticipating the movie like I have, and keep an eye out of reviews and news alerts, see if you can guess which clip is from the French horror director Xavier Gens “X is for XXL”, which almost every   review I’ve read pointed out as one of the most memorable and gruesome, in which a woman unhappy with her plus-size decides to do something about it …all at once. Hint: See featured photo.

OK, I wanted to get this up ASAP. More later, including some really NSFW official promo stills Magnet (the film’s distributor) has released to the press.

Oh, I have another great tagline that’d  fit and put asses in seats. The ABCs of Death: It’s Just So Wrong.

*yeah, I’ve seen 21 Jump Street  with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, that’s where I got it. Did you know  there’s a rumor (that in probability is true, I just haven’t verified it yet, I saw it on The Hollywood Reporter in June) that Aaron Paul is going to be in the sequel? I am so there.

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Red Band Trailer of the Week – STITCHES! (2012) Everybody Happy? (We Are!)

“Sleaziest clown working the circuit”… “that Big Top in the Sky”… “black magic clown cult”?  Hey, I can’t see that calender too good.  Does that say Christmas morning over there?

Holy shit, this looks awesome! I was already psyched up about it when I re-blogged a great piece on this, and it sounded pretty fun even with no trailer. It just got better!  OK, let’s get to the impressive, gory UK Red Band trailer for horror/comedy out of Ireland, Stitches,  starring Ross Noble, below:

If I wasn’t sold before (oh, I was  sold, but figured I could wait patiently for it until Scarecrow Video got a PAL copy in to rent) I am now. As soon as I publish this I’m rifling frantically through the internet to try to find a US release date. I would in fact go out of my way to see it– I’d wait in line in the rain to buy tickets for a midnight showing at a film festival within driving distance. I’d maybe even lose sleep to see it, and since I hit thirty-five, I have to be REALLY committed to drag myself out of bed if I haven’t gotten at least six hours of sleep.*

Love that shot (above) of what appears to be Stitches rising from the dead in a graveyard in a flurry of playing cards.  The entertainingly-written basics about the movie, again (they had me at “the sleaziest clown working the children’s party circuit in Ireland”):

Jaded Richard Grindle (Ross Noble) is the sleaziest clown working the children’s party circuit in Ireland. Arriving late to one birthday, his timing is off, the bratty kids a nightmare and a prank goes horribly wrong – he falls on a kitchen knife and goes to that Big Top in the sky.
Years later the same nasty kids attend another more grown up bash. Little do they know, thanks to a black magic clown cult, Stitches will be the uninvited guest of honour seeking revenge on those responsible for his untimely death. Laughs and gore combine in this twisted tale of one very bad clown.

DEAL! “Sleaziest clown”… “that Big Top in the Sky”… “black magic clown cult”?  Hey, I can’t see that calendar too well from here! Does it say it’s Christmas morning there?  I also found a couple other features (with more HD footage, most of it hilarious) for you to watch.  First up, a sort of behind-the-scenes teaser with Ross Noble (whose work I’m not familiar with, nor have I heard of, but has a built-in cult following in the UK) who apparently worked as a street performer before he got into comedy) happily talking about the role of Stitches and how fun it was to play:

I started giggling during the footage of him barreling along riding that tricycle. Also, here’s one where he talks about the movie, starting off with his favorite kill involving a grisly version of creating balloon animals (setting it up but not spoiling the whole thing – and I’d see the movie just for the scene as described):

All the You Tube comments say Ross Noble seems pretty hammered during the interview, but I wouldn’t know, since I’m unfamiliar with his work and what he sounds like normally. Who am I to judge? He deserves it, as does the director of Stitches,  Conor McMahon, who also co-wrote the film with David O’Brien.

The movie debuted in May of this year at the Cannes Film Festival in France, then made a UK debut at Frightfest in August.  Stitches  opens in the UK and Ireland at the end of October. I haven’t been able to track down a US release date yet, but I’ll update you as soon as I know. According to the official Facebook page for Stitches,  tickets are now on sale for the US premiere on Halloween at Lincoln Center in NYC, but that doesn’t help out those of us not able to travel to NYC. The Facebook page also has lots of exclusive content worth checking out.  Oh, one more You Tube item: I found a link here to a UK interview with Mr. Noble that features a brief but hilarious NSFW clip of ole “Stitches” Grindle in the film’s prologue arriving at the kid’s birthday party before he meets his untimely end. (Below)

Kid’s mum: “You’re late.” Stitches: “And you’re fookin’ ugly. Cash up front.”

Lastly,  Mr. Noble also mentioned another kill in the movie involving an umbrella. I’m pretty sure that’s what the below frame from the trailer depicts…

*Oh yeah, I have what seems now to be my third Annual Jury Duty Summons on Monday. Since both times before were in the winter, it was easier (as every year it takes me a couple weeks longer to adjust to the longer nights and shorter days) to just stay up and write, then get ready to go down there rather than fall asleep between 4-5AM as usual then have to get up two hours later. Let’s hope I don’t get chosen, because it’s going to mess up my sleep cycle even if I get lucky and don’t get my name called Monday. I’ll still do my best not to miss a post, though.

**Speaking of Facebook, Horror Boom also now has an official Facebook page. If you have time to ‘like’ Horror Boom on Facebook (assuming you do  like Horror Boom in the first place, though you probably would have stopped reading long before now if you hated it). I’d appreciate it, since I need thirty ‘likes’ to really get creative and network more. I added a “Facebook Like Box” to our sidebar so you don’t have to bother with even going on Facebook, just click from here (also, only having only two likes showing now when they’re both from family members  just looks really sad, which is why I waited till I reached a thousand hits before I even added one)!

Sick Horror Short “T is for Talk” Packs a HELL of a Wallop (From “The ABCs of Death” Contest)!

The stand-outs so far (according to several sources) were Xavier Gens (who made the brutal Frontier/s  and The Divide;  his name always gets dropped, and rightly so, when people mention ‘New French Extremist Horror’) and his segment called “X to XXL”, where a woman, “takes the ultimate action to reduce her body size”.

“T is for Talk” (2011), directed and co-written by Peter Haynes, was a top vote-getter in the “26th Director” ABCs of Death  contest. Of course, that was back when the voting window for the contest was still open, which I managed to totally miss, thus this series to share the best other shorts with a wider audience. I’m pretty sure you’ll see why; it packs a hell of a wallop into four minutes.  This is definitely one of the most intense entries, and isn’t something you should watch if you’re NOT in the mood for something dark, nasty…and very original. Oh, and if you have a pounding headache, I recommend waiting until your head’s back to normal (you’ll see why pretty fast).  Check out the very NSFW, intense “T is for Talk”, from New Zealand, below!

Damn!   A prequel to that short could be interesting in the right hands. Anyway, that’s eighteen down, seven to go (I think. I’ll do the math later). You can go back and read the first three posts, each with five picks either embedded or linked–some were only on Vimeo or the official voting contest page via the ‘related’ links below, or you can watch the first five entries (plus the introduction) here, the second batch of entries here, and the third bunch of five entries—which has one of the sickest entries in the series– here. I also went and posted a link (I couldn’t embed it) to one that I meant to post, but missed, a couple of weeks ago back in September, which you can check out here. Enjoy, and expect the last eight entries by the time of the full-length movie’s release, which should give me plenty of time since the release date got bumped way the fuck back to January 31st for VOD, and motherfucking March for a limited theatrical run (sigh). I read three reviews from sources I trust, and they said it was kind of a mixed bag; some were more toilet humor/gross-out* than scary or gory (or worth four minutes of your time).

Anyway, now that reviews are coming in, the reviewers said there were some great segments that made The ABCs of Death  worth sitting through. The stand-outs so far (according to several sources) were Xavier Gens (who made the brutal Frontier/s  and The Divide;  his name always gets dropped, and rightly so, when people mention ‘New French Extremist Horror’) and his segment called “X to XXL”, where a woman, “takes the ultimate action to reduce her body size”. My guess it she does a little whittling down at home, taking matters into her own hands by using a sharp blade.**  Another standout is supposed to be “L is for Libido,” dealing with (I am not making this up) a psychotic masturbation contest (worse than a biscuit party, I assume) –gee, how could THAT go horribly wrong in an unrated horror movie?–that ‘ends with sick and deadly results.’  I’m not proud of admitting this, but …SOLD!

Right now, I really  want to see what Banjong Pisathanakun (half the team from Shutter  and  Alone ) does with his four minutes …and with what letter of the alphabet and title. N is for Natre? S is for Siamese Twin

Well, that’s seventeen down and eight to go! More to come, definitely before the holidays (and probably sooner).

NO REPEATING

*I wonder if any of them had to (or needed to for the purpose of rating them, no-one held a gun to my head making me watch all of them, it was just too late in my project to back-pedal by then) sit through “T is for Testosterone Replacement Therapy”, “T is for Tentacle Rape“, or “T is for Tampon”? Those weren’t anywhere near scary, they didn’t have a plot, two out of the three were so misogynistic I felt like punching whoever was responsible for them in the teeth, and they didn’t even try to be entertaining –on any level. I got the feeling they only made the films because they had some serious issues and/or really filthy sexual fetishes to work through. Through the years, I’ve picked up on the fact that self-indulgence usually doesn’t make for an end product entertaining for anyone but the artist. Consider yourself warned if you’re somehow still compelled to watch them …especially if you’re eating at the time.

**For a while now, I actually have been fleshing out (no pun intended, I should get of my tired ass and take a stab  at grabbing the thesaurus before half my comments sound like The Cryptkeeper introducing a story, boils and ghouls ) an outline for a short horror story, where a woman with some serious issues hates her body  –and doesn’t have the money to go pay for lipo or another medical procedure. At the end, she really goes over the edge and tries the do-it-yourself approach with craving knives and maybe a vacuüm cleaner or other suction device. The scariest part? I’m afraid if I Googled or otherwise researched this, there will turn out to be not one but a ton of cases of people who already tried to do it. Self-surgery, not writing a short story about it, I mean. There’s no way that’s going to end well…

Scary or Die – AWESOME NSFW Trailer

 

I’ve heard very little about this movie. The trailer below, though, had me as soon as Screaming Jay Hawkins’ I Put a Spell on You  kicked in. Add in the fact that it’s a horror ANTHOLOGY and I almost sprained my fingers searching for a release date.  Less than five minutes later I interrupted the Session 9 piece I was working on (which I would like very much to finish and post) just to put this up. Check THIS shit out!*

*I really hope it doesn’t turn out to be shitty. This ‘teaser trailer’ is worth a look, though! How the hell this has been floating around online for nine months, and this is the first I’ve heard of it, I have no idea. Perhaps if I went the official website and clicked on “About” I would know more.

 

NSFW Clip of the Week

From Dusk till Dawn

According to the commentary, Mr. Cheech Marin actually did ad-lib 99% of this genius bit-all in one take (notice it’s a montage). I’d kill to see the uninterrupted take!

Another fun fact: there actually IS a club with this name.* It’s in Italy.  Here’s how I know!   I told my husband to try to get me a t-shirt when they play there.

*at least I hope they named the place for the club/bar in Dusk Till Dawn because they’re fans of the movie, and the place isn’t full of hungry naked vampires waiting for dinner.  Santanico Pandemonium,  you find some other band to eat!