All-New NSFW Red Band Trailer For Upcoming “The ABCs of Death” (2012) Is Bloody, Sick Fun! (HD)

Oh, and if you have been eagerly anticipating the movie like I have, and keeping an eye out of reviews and news alerts, see if you can guess which clip is from the Xavier Gens segment “X is for XXL”, which almost every   review I’ve read pointed out as one of the most memorable and gruesome, in which a woman unhappy with her plus-size figure decides to do something about it …all at once.

 

“Warning! Contains Graphic Violence, Nudity, Graphic Content, Not Appropriate For Anyone Under”-YOU’RE ON! You had me at “26 Directors – 26 Ways To Die,”  ABCs of Death Red Band Trailer. I’ve been psyched for this since July. Finally, the trailer for the film is here (though I loved the one composed of contest entries for the letter T, and am still posting my Top 20 Picks). The gloriously gory claymation horror short “T Is For Toilet” from Lee Hardcastle (which was the winner), “T is for Temptation,” and “T is for Table” are still the ones I really wish could be included in the feature film too,  as they hold up to multiple viewing and still make me shake my head and smile. For some reason “T is for Table” actually still frightens me, even though I was also practically jumping up and down the first time I saw it, it was so perfect. The short even has a little bit of a Final Destination  vibe to it; though I can’t really articulate intelligently why with all this over-the-counter cold medicine in me, I hope to later.

Before I post the trailer, let me just point out that I wanted to also put RED BAND TRAILER OF THE MONTH! in the title, but it wouldn’t fit. FUCK YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER! would have done it too (in all caps, with multiple exclamation points) but some of my relatives are just now checking out Horror Boom for the first time, and they wouldn’t be mad, but they’d be disappointed in me (which as anyone who has ever heard this from a parent knows, is much worse). You have to admit, that’s a great tagline for something that you have to be a legal adult to go see, where you already know what you’re getting is sick. The ABCs of Death: Fuck Yeah, Motherfucker.*

Oh, and if you have been early anticipating the movie like I have, and keep an eye out of reviews and news alerts, see if you can guess which clip is from the French horror director Xavier Gens “X is for XXL”, which almost every   review I’ve read pointed out as one of the most memorable and gruesome, in which a woman unhappy with her plus-size decides to do something about it …all at once. Hint: See featured photo.

OK, I wanted to get this up ASAP. More later, including some really NSFW official promo stills Magnet (the film’s distributor) has released to the press.

Oh, I have another great tagline that’d  fit and put asses in seats. The ABCs of Death: It’s Just So Wrong.

*yeah, I’ve seen 21 Jump Street  with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, that’s where I got it. Did you know  there’s a rumor (that in probability is true, I just haven’t verified it yet, I saw it on The Hollywood Reporter in June) that Aaron Paul is going to be in the sequel? I am so there.

Sick Horror Short “T is for Talk” Packs a HELL of a Wallop (From “The ABCs of Death” Contest)!

The stand-outs so far (according to several sources) were Xavier Gens (who made the brutal Frontier/s  and The Divide;  his name always gets dropped, and rightly so, when people mention ‘New French Extremist Horror’) and his segment called “X to XXL”, where a woman, “takes the ultimate action to reduce her body size”.

“T is for Talk” (2011), directed and co-written by Peter Haynes, was a top vote-getter in the “26th Director” ABCs of Death  contest. Of course, that was back when the voting window for the contest was still open, which I managed to totally miss, thus this series to share the best other shorts with a wider audience. I’m pretty sure you’ll see why; it packs a hell of a wallop into four minutes.  This is definitely one of the most intense entries, and isn’t something you should watch if you’re NOT in the mood for something dark, nasty…and very original. Oh, and if you have a pounding headache, I recommend waiting until your head’s back to normal (you’ll see why pretty fast).  Check out the very NSFW, intense “T is for Talk”, from New Zealand, below!

Damn!   A prequel to that short could be interesting in the right hands. Anyway, that’s eighteen down, seven to go (I think. I’ll do the math later). You can go back and read the first three posts, each with five picks either embedded or linked–some were only on Vimeo or the official voting contest page via the ‘related’ links below, or you can watch the first five entries (plus the introduction) here, the second batch of entries here, and the third bunch of five entries—which has one of the sickest entries in the series– here. I also went and posted a link (I couldn’t embed it) to one that I meant to post, but missed, a couple of weeks ago back in September, which you can check out here. Enjoy, and expect the last eight entries by the time of the full-length movie’s release, which should give me plenty of time since the release date got bumped way the fuck back to January 31st for VOD, and motherfucking March for a limited theatrical run (sigh). I read three reviews from sources I trust, and they said it was kind of a mixed bag; some were more toilet humor/gross-out* than scary or gory (or worth four minutes of your time).

Anyway, now that reviews are coming in, the reviewers said there were some great segments that made The ABCs of Death  worth sitting through. The stand-outs so far (according to several sources) were Xavier Gens (who made the brutal Frontier/s  and The Divide;  his name always gets dropped, and rightly so, when people mention ‘New French Extremist Horror’) and his segment called “X to XXL”, where a woman, “takes the ultimate action to reduce her body size”. My guess it she does a little whittling down at home, taking matters into her own hands by using a sharp blade.**  Another standout is supposed to be “L is for Libido,” dealing with (I am not making this up) a psychotic masturbation contest (worse than a biscuit party, I assume) –gee, how could THAT go horribly wrong in an unrated horror movie?–that ‘ends with sick and deadly results.’  I’m not proud of admitting this, but …SOLD!

Right now, I really  want to see what Banjong Pisathanakun (half the team from Shutter  and  Alone ) does with his four minutes …and with what letter of the alphabet and title. N is for Natre? S is for Siamese Twin

Well, that’s seventeen down and eight to go! More to come, definitely before the holidays (and probably sooner).

NO REPEATING

*I wonder if any of them had to (or needed to for the purpose of rating them, no-one held a gun to my head making me watch all of them, it was just too late in my project to back-pedal by then) sit through “T is for Testosterone Replacement Therapy”, “T is for Tentacle Rape“, or “T is for Tampon”? Those weren’t anywhere near scary, they didn’t have a plot, two out of the three were so misogynistic I felt like punching whoever was responsible for them in the teeth, and they didn’t even try to be entertaining –on any level. I got the feeling they only made the films because they had some serious issues and/or really filthy sexual fetishes to work through. Through the years, I’ve picked up on the fact that self-indulgence usually doesn’t make for an end product entertaining for anyone but the artist. Consider yourself warned if you’re somehow still compelled to watch them …especially if you’re eating at the time.

**For a while now, I actually have been fleshing out (no pun intended, I should get of my tired ass and take a stab  at grabbing the thesaurus before half my comments sound like The Cryptkeeper introducing a story, boils and ghouls ) an outline for a short horror story, where a woman with some serious issues hates her body  –and doesn’t have the money to go pay for lipo or another medical procedure. At the end, she really goes over the edge and tries the do-it-yourself approach with craving knives and maybe a vacuüm cleaner or other suction device. The scariest part? I’m afraid if I Googled or otherwise researched this, there will turn out to be not one but a ton of cases of people who already tried to do it. Self-surgery, not writing a short story about it, I mean. There’s no way that’s going to end well…