Nope, I do NOT mind waiting for the fresh popcorn.


If you haven’t heard of this movie, check it out… various VOD outlets have it right now to watch (shockingly, Netflix doesn’t even have a release date). Trusty old IFC Midnight had it for us tonight, and it’s a fun monster movie. I’ve seen Syfy movies with more gore, but WAIT! Hear us out! Don’t let that deter you. There are several Syfy monster movies with surprisingly nasty moments, but the shitty CGI (especially the CGI blood that is maybe one notch above looking like someone just colored over the print with a red Sharpie in a hurry) ruins the gore 99 times out of 100. No CGI blood in Grabbers – unless it was some effect that was completely impossible to do without CGI, they used prosthetics and composite shots – and nothing looked remotely phony, which is hard to pull off with a relatively small budget and a monster that moves and looks like nothing you’ve seen in a long while. Obviously, a lot more care and craftsmanship was taken with Grabbers. Better acting, better story, better script, characters that you aren’t wishing horrible deaths upon and are actually rooting for …and you can bet your ass it has top-notch special effects. The monsters of the title refreshingly come from outer space (in the vein of say, Slither, or The Blob) rather than a military or government experiment that was botched and covered up. Grabbers has a modest budget, but never looks like it, and the monsters are especially cool; writhing masses of tentacles, with some of the attributes of spiders, squid, and even starfish (when they’re chilling) that look like nothing seen in recent memory. A Fangoria interview with director John Wright said they went out of their way to come up with a unique creature design, and they succeeded with gooey flying colors. If you’re still on the fence, check out this Dread Central review, which we are happy to report this fun flick lives up to. It’s also a great choice for when you need some light horror, such as when, say, you’ve recently watched two New French Extremist horror movies too close together, and realized it was a bad judgement call after it was too late (especially if one of them was Martyrs). For Grabbers, you can break out the popcorn and kick back for a fun time – and it might not hurt to have some recreational booze on hand.

You’re Next (Variety Review)

Disclaimer! All we’ve seen as of this writing is the trailer, so we can’t agree or argue with the reviewer on the quality of You’re Next. Oh, we DID, however, have a crucial, shocking twist late in the movie ruined for us by some selfish asshole of a “reviewer” who apparently didn’t feel it was necessary to add spoiler alerts (especially when giving names of specific lead characters. IDIOT!) We’re going to have to look into why the slasher flick was made in 2011 and not released til now. That’s not the kiss of death the average movie-goer thinks it is–see 2012’s Cabin In The Woods, to name one– but if you’re reading this blog, you know that already. Possible minor spoiler in this review, so heads-up… the character who turns out to be the Final Girl is revealed (though that might be something genre fans figure out early on anyway), plus the movie’s press has made it no secret that a character or two turns out not to be your average victim, but take note before reading if you’re really spoiler-conscious that the review does say exactly why.


Coming up, we’ve got some more You’re Next coverage (including WELL-MARKED spoilers of our own). The only sentence that may piss you off  in this review–if you also grew up in the horror boom– is: “…with the strong original score undermined only by a brief late foray into self-consciously cheesy 1980s synth sounds.” HEY! WATCH IT THERE, HARVEY! Some of us get nostalgic when we hear 80s synth sounds in a horror soundtrack! Otherwise, enjoy the review. Plus, You’re Next does have Barbara Crampton and a ton of creative gore going for it …and by the way, did you remember to lock the door?


‘Breaking Bad’ star Aaron Paul makes celebrity bus tour’s dreams come true — VIDEO

Can you imagine if you looked down and saw your cell or camera battery was dying? Oh well… I’d treasure the memory for life. Damn, if we’d been on that bus we probably would have levitated (I would have, at least).

Why We Like Exorcist Movies: They Don’t Just Showcase the Devil, They Conjure up God Too

“Now, of course, evangelical Christianity has become one of the cornerstones of contemporary American life. And here we are, four decades after The Exorcist, still paying to get the bejesus scared out of us by watching a movie set in 1971 about a good woman “possessed” by her secret demon self. The Devil is here because, of course, he never left, and never will. In so many ways, he is old news. But the ritual of a horror film that reassures us by calling forth God to defeat him: That’s a conjuring we never get tired of.”  –Owen Gleiberman

We don’t agree with every point, but this is a thoughtful piece,  with an intriguing perspective, by longtime Entertainment Weekly film critic (and ardent movie lover) Owen Gleiberman that deserves a read… especially if you’re interested in exploring the role of God in exorcism-themed horror films.

Denis O’Hare joins ‘American Horror Story: Coven’

YES! Best news we’ve heard all day. Let’s hope they also bring back Ian McShane, but if I had my pick of who to bring back from S1, it’d be the very talented and entertaining O’Hare, who we actually miss this season on True Blood (no matter how evil he was).

Current Owners Of ‘The Conjuring’ House Haven’t Slept In Days

A different kind of nightmare caused by The Conjuring. Not cool, whoever is doing this. If it were our house, we’d probably dress up as Bathsheba, get on an upper floor, and then wait until they got juuuuust close enough and then leap out at them, setting off some ear-splitting blaring siren off at the same time. OK, actually, that’d probably be counter-productive (but it would be fun if you had gotten really fed up). Let’s hope anyone curious is respectful and just pays a visit from a respectful distance.


the conjuring whysoblu 5

With all of the success and hype surrounding James Wan’s The Conjuring, you knew something like this was going to happen eventually. In a recent article on Woonsocket Call, it has been revealed that the current residents of the Harrisville, R.I. home are being disturbed by fans of the movie who want to take a peak at the house that inspired the film.

“We haven’t slept in days,” Norma Sutcliffe told The Call. “Because we wake up at 2 in the morning there are people with flashlights in our yard. People call on the phone and ask “is this ‘The Conjuring’ house?”  I can imagine that being pretty damn annoying. Obviously there’s really no harm in being curious and wanting to see the house that inspired it all. Hell, I myself went and checked out the Amityville Horror house a few years ago that I admired from a distance…

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‘Breaking Bad’ creator Vince Gilligan: ‘I think most folks are going to dig the ending’

Remember how we said we were going to be tossing Breaking Bad coverage in here? Hopefully you guys are all still cool with that. In fact, there’s a poll coming to make sure. We just really don’t have the time or energy to make a new, completely separate BrBa blog that’d probably only last until about October, tops, since (sniffle) the show is ending. Anyway, MAN do we want that Saul Goodman spin-off. At least Odenkirk is definitely up for it!

‘Gravity’: Harrowing new clips of George Clooney and Sandra Bullock astronaut thriller

What’s that, you say? The “Detached” trailer from Alfonso Cuarón’s space disaster nail-biter Gravity that we recently posted made your heart pound and your chest (and throat) tighten, but now that feeling is wearing off and you’re feeling annoying calm and relaxed?  Well, get a load of these two new clips. You’re welcome! Seriously, though, we don’t know if we’re brave enough to see this on the big screen in 3-D (converted post-production) when it opens (on October 4th) without a stiff drink first. We also cannot WAIT!  Gravity will also kick off the 2013 Venice Film Festival (withdrawn from competition, it will simply premiere) in late August.

Elijah Wood starring ‘Maniac’ banned in New Zealand

Our thoughts on this, having seen the movie: if somebody rents this as masturbation material due to the first-person POV, they’re already dangerous. Don’t blame the movie …though banning a horror film is a pretty fast way to promote it, so I doubt it’s going to hurt ticket sales/rental any –the reverse effect will probably occur. Given what a great remake Maniac is, more power to them.