The Editing Room Takes On …World War Z: The Abridged Script!

BRAD PITT

That’s a relief. Looks like we’re getting straight to the action! Buckle up kids, this is gonna be zombie carnage on a scale never seen before. We’re talking GLOBAL amounts of gore and evisceration that…

MIREILLE ENOS

Er, don’t forget that this movie is, itself, ALSO single-mindedly bent on achieving worldwide saturation.

BRAD PITT

Huh? Why would that matter…

The ZOMBIE HORDE arrives!! LIMBS and SEVERED HEADS and BLOOD and ENTRAILS fly in all directions as There is lots of censor-friendly SCREAMING and RUNNING AROUND in a SUITABLE FOR MASS MARKET fashion!

BRAD PITT

I see your point. Well, an undead plague sanitized for international consumption is still an undead plague, I guess. Let’s go!!

They corral an RV and make a GETAWAY, but one of the DAUGHTERS turns out to have been BITTEN, forcing BRAD to make an unthinkable choice while raising the emotional stakes to intense heights of has an ASTHMA ATTACK! They park outside a PHARMACY.

-From the Abridged Script By Alex Wiebe

This script explains why we’re maybe not going to even bother renting the movie when it comes out… and also, we laughed our asses off. Click on the big red link below to read it!

 

World War Z: The Abridged Script • The Editing Room.

 

Cover of "World War Z: An Oral History of...

Warning: Movie bears no resemblance to the (far superior) novel. Great book, though!

 

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