See the Hemlock Grove Season Two Red-Band Trailer For “Fearless Audiences Only”!

Okay! This makes us feel a little better about the upcoming season of Hemlock Grove than reading the Variety review did (they really hated it). 

According to the “warning” before the red band trailer, it’s intended for “Fearless Audiences Only” due to excessive bloodletting, fever dreams, and… what the hell, just give the trailer a watch to find out!

Looks like we’ll get answers to (or at least a continuation of) some of the cliff-hangers. Apparently, it’s possible to actually re-grow your severed tongue if you’re a blood relative of Roman’s family.

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Speaking of fucked-up messed-up things that took place during Hemlock Grove’s first season, we made a list of ten of them; you can read it by clicking right here (some spoilers, so tread lightly if you haven’t seen season one yet and plan to).

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Also, we have a link to an entire prequel in graphic novel form (it’s a.pdf file), and it’s worth checking out for some insights.  Hopefully there’ll be a featurette like last season where they go behind the scenes of some gruesome scene with KNB EFX. If so, you can bet your leeches that you’ll see it as soon as we find it!

All ten episodes are available at once on July 11th. If you want to start watching after midnight on July 10th, check for it at 12:01. We were really, REALLY excite to binge out on Season 2 of “Orange is the New Black,” but when we tried to access it on Comcast at about 12:15, the network was down (or at least Comcast crashed)  because so many fans had the same plan and HAD to watch it the second it was available. Hemlock Grove Season 2 isn’t wildly popular like OITNB, but we thought we’d give you heads-up just in case.

 

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We’re gonna take a wild guess that this warning was Eli Roth’s idea.

 

 

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‘Godzilla’: See Exclusive Clip From EW.com With Lots of M.U.T.O and Kaiju Action!

If you have to wait till Saturday or later to catch Godzilla (we’re buying our tickets online in a few hours for the Saturday night showing), here’s an action-heavy clip to keep you going till then. Side Note: if you’re familiar with Seattle, then you’ll know it’s playing at THE best place to see a movie hereabouts …the glamorous, glorious Cinerama, a single-screen, LARGE theater built before I was born and when there were no multiplexes, just one huge theater, one huge movie that Paul Allen saved from being torn down AND refurbished it. Plus, real butter on the popcorn) and shows there opening Friday night often sell out.
Anyway, click here (or on the ‘view original’ link on the lower left) for the cool-ass exclusive clip from EW.com featuring not one but TWO giant radioactive monsters destroying an airport. For all I know there’s a third in there.

(SPOILER ALERT, though not that huge of one if you’ve been following coverage) From what I’ve read of the plot, at least one horrible MUTO or “massive unidentified terrestrial organism,” shows up before the Big Guy and wreaks total havoc (sounds like there should be an “MF” before the acronym, but then it’d be less easy to verbalize) at more than one site; for one thing, their preferred snack is a nuclear bomb. I’m going to take a wild guess–I don’t know if it happens, just speculating–that one turns out to be female and pregnant (which would explain why it would might be slightly moody and seriously fuck up everything that gets in its way, and possibly the weird food cravings). There’s at least one that can fly and another that looks spider-ish (you see the first one in the trailer, and the second in the clip).  (END OF SPOILERS)

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Hope that clip tides you over… Oooh man, it’s gonna be a long wait till Saturday! If you want to read the EW.com capsule review (they gave it a B-) you can click here.

(Click on ‘view original’ in the lower left to get the EW.com clip)

The Editing Room Takes On The Prawns In District 9: The Abridged Script!

SHARLTO COPLEY

(to documentary cameras)

Hey, look, that alien has a canister of fluid I’ve never seen before. Let me point it at my face.

THE ALIEN’S FLUID erupts into SHARLTO’S MOUTH, which is a LOT LESS DIRTY than it SOUNDS.

SHARLTO COPLEY

Well, I’m sure that’s nothing to worry about.

(coughing fit)

No sense in reporting it to anyone.

(vomits black oil)

I’m going to head home to the wife.

(several fingers and his left ear fall off)

 

-From the Abridged Script by Rick Lewis

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Disclaimer: Personally, I have absolutely no complaints whatever about District 9. In fact, it is on the list of movies that I rented and completely fell in love with so much that I either paused it halfway in to go online and purchase a copy of the movie, or did so immediately after the end credits start rolling. So, I don’t agree with the gripes about the movie that Rick Lewis, writer of the ‘abridged script’ has. That being said, the Abridged Script is fucking hilarious and worth a read. Check it out by clicking below!

 

District 9: The Abridged Script  – The Editing Room.

 

BTW, I wish the phone number for “Multi-National United,” the shitty corporation in the movie, still worked. They not only had this awesome viral feature up and running, but they had a phone tree. At the time, I pressed “3” to report a (fictional) sighting of a ‘prawn’ and when they actually asked me to describe the encounter with as many details as I could on their voicemail (after agreeing they could use it for promotion without giving me any credit) I ad-libbed a complaint about my neighbors encouraging them to come onto our “human-only” property by feeding them cat food. Shit, maybe it does still work! If you can make out the phone number on the promo material/poster in the image (I can’t), what the hell, give it a shot. I didn’t even get through all the options.

Toronto Film Review: ‘Horns’

Eric: Well, I’ll be goddamned.
Ig: You and me both. *

We consider the fact that the movie adaptation of Horns (2013) sticks closely to the source material a good thing, since it may likely contains the above dialogue from the novel. We searched, but as of this writing/posting, still can’t find an official U.S. release date, which is really too goddamned (har) bad. On the very bright side: the makers of the film wisely recast the role of Ig with Daniel Radcliffe, since Shia LaBouf (who we do not respect enough to even consider checking the correct spelling of his name) was originally signed to play the lead. We were not exactly thrilled about the mis casting of Juno Temple as Merrin, then we read the news about what a close call they had with casting Ig and that put things in perspective pretty fast. We highly recommend that if you haven’t already, pick up and read the Joe Hill novel to pass the time while we all wait for a release date… but if you tear through it as fast as we did, it won’t kill much time.  It’s an average-length novel, but a very fucking fast–and highly addictive– blast to read.  When we hear about a US (or even a UK) release date–theatrical or otherwise, but let’s cross our fingers for a theatrical release instead of VOD–we’ll post it here (and we happily welcome anyone who does have that info to please enlighten us, by email or by posting in the comments).

Here’s a link to an informative piece from CinemaBlend, giving the news that at least the movie HAS been picked up for distribution, and talks some more about the adaptations. It’s also one of the few articles that show more than one publicity photo.

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*Dialogue paraphrased from the novel Horns written by Joe King and HarperCollins Publishing, ©2010. He created it, he and the publishing company owns all the rights, not us.

Gallery: Count The Homages in Guillermo del Toro’s Killer ‘Treehouse of Horror XXIV’ From The Simpsons

Del Toro wound up creating a mash-up love letter to all sorts of his horror/fantasy inspirations in paying tribute to The Simpsons, while taking a page from Mad magazine’s Mort Drucker, Will Elder and Harvey Kurtzman. “They would try to cram so many references in,” he says. “You as a kid could spend an afternoon on your bed with your magnifying glass going through a frame of Mad magazine and finding all these references to this and that.” Keep your eyes peeled for a Futurama nod too. (“I integrate[d] Lisa falling through the couch like Alice in Wonderland but in the dress of the girl from Pan’s Labyrinth, and instead of landing next to the giant toad in Pan’s Labyrinth, she lands next to the Hypnotoad from Futurama.) He stuffed in as many horror/fantasy masters and iconic characters as he could (from H.P. Lovecraft to Edgar Allen Poe to Stephen King to the Universal monsters), though many more had to be left on the cutting room floor. “At the last minute I wanted to put a Mexican wrestler in there,” he notes with a chuckle, “but [casting producer] Bonnie Pietila said to me, ‘We’ve got to go! We cannot keep adding and adding stuff.”

–From the EW.com piece by Dan Snierson (see below)

First of all, if you haven’t read the EW.com piece and watched the opening credits created by Guillermo Del Toro for The Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror XXIV (airing this Sunday, October 6th) check the piece AND the especially awesome (and horror homage-packed) out right here.

Seen it now? Told you it was pretty goddamned cool! The below gallery would be bigger (and we’d have some informal ‘catch the obscure horror references’ contest), but we’re having a couple technical difficulties, plus this writer has a splitting headache. We’ll add to it before Sunday if we can.

(Click on any screen-cap to enlarge) Let’s see, off the top of my (tired, aching) head, what did you spot besides the following:

  • Charles Burns (the artist)
  • The Shining
  • Clash of The Titans
  • The Day the Earth Stood Still (the original)
  • Ray Bradbury
  • Edgar Allen Poe
  • The Illustrated Man
  • Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds
  • The Fly (original)
  • Cronos
  • The Invisible Man
  • Blade
  • Classic Universal Studios monsters
  • Hellboy
  • The Mist
  • Hot Fuzz (we think)
  • Todd Browning’s Freaks
  • HP Lovecraft
  • Mars Attacks! Trading cards
  • Pan’s Labyrinth (you don’t need a sharp eye to spot these particular homages)
  • Brian DePalma‘s Phantom of Paradise
  • Ray Harryhausen
  • Mexican wrestler

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‘The Simpsons’: Guillermo del Toro on creating the epic opening to ‘Treehouse of Horror XXIV’

If you’re getting the sense that del Toro is a big fan of The Simpsons, you’re right. Not only did he slip a few homages to The Simpsons in Hellboy (“Mmmm, nachos” “Why you little…!”), he has a room in his house that’s brimming with Simpsons memorabilia. “My favorite is a 30-inch tall Mr. Burns as Dracula that they only make in Germany,” he says. “It’s a really good sculpture. It’s going to run away eventually, but I think that’s very appropriate.”

-from the EW.com article by Dan Snierson

Don’t miss this! It is almost impossible to count the homages and references here. The classic Universal Studios monsters, artist Charles Burns, Brian DePalma‘s Phantom of Paradise, Lovecraft, Bong June Ho’s The Host, Ray Bradbury‘s The Illustrated Man (short story collection and the movie), Todd Browning’s Freaks (watch for the pinhead from the movie; I’d say it was an American Horror Story Asylum reference but it’s in a shot with a bunch of really old-school monsters and aliens, including the Ray Harryhausen skeletons)… they have to be into the triple-digits. Mrs. Horror Boom was going to be all clever and try and list them all, but that’s pretty time-consuming even without a nasty headache. Of course, special attention is paid to Guillermo Del Toro‘s movies (even ones that most moviegoers aren’t familiar with), especially Pan’s Labyrinth. Just check out the screen caps in the gallery link right here, and see how many you can spot… and enjoy this year’s Treehouse of Horror, which airs this Sunday, October 6th!

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Fantastic Fest announces closing night film!

It’s Terry Gilliam‘s The Zero Theorem! Read on for the trailer and the first official clip from the movie.

‘A Field In England,’ ‘Witching & Bitching,’ and organ trafficking doc to screen at Fantastic Fest

Here’s some notable and recent additions to Fantastic Fest 2013.  We weren’t sure we could describe A Field In England (by the director of Kill List and Sightseers,Ben Wheatley) as horror (or even what sub-category under our ‘Cross-Genre’ category to put it under, we settled for a few); watch the trailer and you’ll see what we mean. The poster art is pretty damn cool though, we’ll give it that. Of all three, the David Cronenberg -narrated documentary Tales From the Organ Trade should be the most horrifying and disturbing …and we’re pretty sure we’re not alone in our opinion.  Alex de la Iglesia‘s Witching and Bitching sounds like the most entertaining of these (and that title helps it hit the ground running); check the Related Articles below for the trailer.

‘Gravity’: Harrowing new clips of George Clooney and Sandra Bullock astronaut thriller

What’s that, you say? The “Detached” trailer from Alfonso Cuarón’s space disaster nail-biter Gravity that we recently posted made your heart pound and your chest (and throat) tighten, but now that feeling is wearing off and you’re feeling annoying calm and relaxed?  Well, get a load of these two new clips. You’re welcome! Seriously, though, we don’t know if we’re brave enough to see this on the big screen in 3-D (converted post-production) when it opens (on October 4th) without a stiff drink first. We also cannot WAIT!  Gravity will also kick off the 2013 Venice Film Festival (withdrawn from competition, it will simply premiere) in late August.

‘Gravity’ Trailer/Clip: Beautiful Space Terror (Clip of the Week)

Honestly, I’ve seen this described as both a trailer and a clip for Alfonso Cuarón’s upcoming space disaster film, Gravity; I suppose it’s both. The idea of this –the title “Detached” doesn’t calm me down any either– almost puts me on the verge of a panic attack (judging from the related media below, I’m definitely not the only one). This made my heart speed up so much I didn’t even notice George Clooney was involved, or recognize his voice, and I can usually pick his voice up just from commercials (I’m married, but my hormones still work just fine).  Just remember to breathe when you watch this… breathe…