This is going to have to be split up into three posts, since we already needed to take a month to watch the movies and don’t want to take another month writing this.
Even with the number of horror movies ole Mrs. Horror Boom sees being more in a month that the average movie-goer sees in a year, you’d think finding 31 I hadn’t seen yet would be a cinch, right? Wrong! Fortunately, there was a huge number of new releases for the month of October 2014. I actually saw more than 31, but some were so shitty I don’t even want to add them to the list. A couple of them literally put me to sleep, and there were a couple of others that were so bad I blew a mental fuse just sitting through and trying to tolerate the goddamned things, and either picked up my iPad for some task/game that required most of my attention, or just said the hell with it and turned it off, then re-watched something I knew was a sure thing and would not disappoint me (thus, the few re-watches on the list).
However, let’s just start with the list. I could put them in the order I saw them, but then I would have to look at a detail of our Amazon Instant Video and the VOD cable bill, which I am too nervous to look at and see how fast the charges added up (I’ve seen enough scary movies, I don’t need scary real-life). Let’s try alphabetical order. An asterisk means that the movie was a fairly new release, say available on VOD less than six weeks.
Oh, and if there is an R-Rated and an Unrated version available for a flick, assume I watched the Unrated (such as the very torture porn-y Carver. Also if they ever tried to make an R-Rated version of The ABCs of Death 2,* it would probably cut the running time by a good 10 minutes, depending how much of a prude the ratings board members were for that project. For PG-13, there would be about 200 words that you cannot say in a PG-13 movie cut out, and some of the shorts (they usually average 3-4 minutes) would last maybe 30 seconds and you would not definitely know what the fuck was going on with most of them. So thank you, Magnet Releasing!
I also added links to the IMDB pages (or pieces Horror Boom did on the fright flick in question previously), and stuck in a few of the better trailers to keep things interesting. Turns out roughly a third of the horror movies on the list are found footage, and while at least a couple will end up on the “worst” list, there were some nice surprises (including the “mockumentary” The Gerber Syndrome).
The list, and links:
*The ABCs of Death 2 (2014)
(Here’s the gory Red Band trailer, NSFW–enjoy!)
American Mary (re-watch, 2012)
Any Minute Now (2013)
Black Death (re-watch, 2010)
Here’s the Black Death HD trailer (and yeah, it’s as grim and bleak as it looks)
*The Canal (2014)
Chasing The Devil (2014)
Dark Mountain (2013)
*Found (completed in 2012, but not released on VOD till Fall 2014). Trailer is below, and it earned every blurb and award)
*Horns (2013, but only released recently)
*The Houses October Built (2014)
Here’s a clip for you from the above movie (yep, more found footage).
*Inner Demons (2014)
The Monkey’s Paw (2013) (quit laughing! I was scraping the bottom of the barrel by this point, I believe Day 29.)
Here’s the trailer for the latter:
*See No Evil 2 (2014)
Sleepy Hollow (1999, re-watch…on Halloween, Day 31)
*The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014 – sale rental on Amazon, free on Netflix streaming)
*V/H/S Viral (2014)
Witching and Bitching (2013)
Up next? The ten worst films on the list; after that we’ll get to the ten best.
* We will have a review of ABCs of Death 2 coming up where we name the top ten entries. This will actually take some work, because the shorts were so much better it’d be faster just to name the few stupid or lazy ones. In the first ABCs of Death, I couldn’t even get a list of the top ten together; after “X is for XXL”, “L is for Libido”, “T is For Toilet”, “Young Buck”, and “Dog Fight”, picking five more would be a stretch. A list of the ten worst for the same movie, however, would pretty much write itself. I was happy to discover after the sequel roared to a finish that I could barely list the five worst. But I digress…