The GHOST puts on SMOOTH JAZZ and jumps at ANNA through a WINDOW.
Ooh that was fun! I’m going to do that again!
(jumps out, again!)
Eeek, I’m mildly unnerved!
Oh, just wait! Later I plan on pretending I’m a little girl, THEN I’m gonna whisper at you all creepy-like, THEN I’m going to dress up as a priest! Rawr!
EVERY GHOST AFTER JU-ON
Yo, try becoming visible from ONE VERY SPECIFIC CAMERA ANGLE! Then when she turns around… you’ll be GONE. It’s fun, trust us.
But I feel much more comfortable dressing like a priest…
You’re the lady who died holding the doll in her arms! The logical thing to do is throw out the doll-
(does not throw out doll)
(wanders into dark basement instead)
-From the parody of “Annabelle” on The-Editing-Room.com, copyright Ian S. (2014)
So! We haven’t seen Annabelle yet, mainly because only one of us wanted to go, and the other didn’t want to let out ear-splitting screams (though from what I hear, there may not have been any) while we sitting by ourselves in the theater. Then I could have talked a friend into going who actually really liked The Conjuring, (2013) but the reviews were mixed and I got lazy and then it was out of theaters fast. It should be out of DVD/VOD pretty soon, though, now that we think of it…
So, Ian S., one of the funnier writers at The Editing Room, either dislikes modern horror movies, horror movies by James Wan, or both of the above. We know one thing: he really hated The Conjuring spinoff/prequel Annabelle!* All James Wan did was sign off on it, really, since he had nothing to do with writing or directing the “evil doll” movie, and he skewers him at one point too. However, if you’re already reading this, we’re guessing you have a good sense of humor, and even if you loved Annabelle, this “abridged script” should give you some good laughs.
The same writer also wrote a parody script of The Conjuring last year, and while he gave it one star higher, you can tell he wasn’t thrilled with it. We had a lot more fun with it than he did (I don’t think he’s sat through as many bad and mediocre horror films as we have, so he may not completely be sure what an above-average one looks like), but again, funny as hell. We posted it in 2013, but here’s a link to The Conjuring: The Abridged Script if you missed it the first time around.
*You can tell that even before you see that he rated it one-and-a-half stars out of five. Anyway, we’re still definitely renting it.