We’re going to do this like we did our last feature (click here to read it) that relayed the new editions to the IMDB episode guide for Freak Show. We’ll give you episode titles first (there are more titles than descriptions) as they sound cool but do not contain spoilers, then the descriptions. Sounds like some nasty stuff is coming down the line for Del and Désirée; we just hope they don’t get killed off because we love watching Michel Chiklis and Angela Bassett in the roles so much!

First, some fun, NON-SPOILER titles for you:

“Pink Cupcakes” airs November 5th.

“Bullseye” airs November 12th.

“Test of Strength” airs November 19th.

“Blood Bath” (YES! Bring it!) airs November 26th, just in time for Thanksgiving!

“The Fat Lady Sings” (uh-oh) airs December 10th.

Then we’ll have the usual holiday break, and the final three episodes will air in January 2015. Hey, slow down…

NOW COME THE SPOILERS!

 

We don’t find out who lives or dies or anything REALLY extreme like that, but it is easy to fit most of the puzzle pieces together (especially when combined with Ryan Murphy’s interviews where he always manages to slip in a few spoilers– accidentally– into his “teasers”.  Maybe he has a couple of glasses of wine before the post-mortem interviews with EW.com; he sounds pretty relaxed and casual. Or maybe he’s just so excited about the great stuff to come that he can’t help himself; in fact, we don’t blame him. If you missed the post-mortems for Edward Mordrake Part One and Edward Mordrake Part Two, check them out here; there’s some juicy stuff.

OK, strap in and keep your arms and legs inside the ride-car at all times.

Pink Cupcakes:

Stanley and Maggie hatch a plan to murder the Freaks. Gloria hides the evidence of Dandy’s gruesome new hobby. A health scare reveals Désirée may not be the oddity she once thought.

Bullseye:

Elsa reveals a dangerous new act. Stanley exerts pressure on Maggie to murder Jimmy. Paul indulges in a secret romance.

Test of Strength:

The women of the Freak Show rally against Dell after his latest act of violence. A strange encounter with Dandy raises Jimmy’s suspicion about the clown murders.

So here’s some speculation: from the previews for this week’s episode, we saw either Maggie or “Tripod” Stanley not-so-subtly injecting some kind of fluid into a pink cupcake with a huge syringe. We’re guessing some 50s version of roofies. Later in the preview we see them preparing a HUGE tray/steel container with some kind of liquid… over here we’re thinking formaldehyde. We also see Bette and Dot (well, one of them, anyway) biting into said cupcake. Of course, Murphy is not going to kill off Sarah Paulson’s character/s less than halfway through the season any more than she’s going to kill off Jessica Lange.

Stanley and Maggie hatch a plan to murder the Freaks. However, during the “this season on American Horror Story Freak Show” preview that came after the premiere, we beheld something terrible: a shot of Ma Petite inside a large glass specimen jar that her hands could not reach the top of to pull herself out. Then it got worse as they briefly showed the jar being filled with some kind of fluid chemical while air bubbles come out of the poor girl’s mouth. We really hope this is either a dream/nightmare sequence or someone saves her and then kills that rotten prick Stanley.

A health scare reveals Désirée may not be the oddity she once thought. We are not sure how that’s going to work. It’s a health scare: could she be throwing up in the mornings and feeling faint, then turn out to be pregnant? Is her penis going to fall off, or shrink severely? Does she not have a vagina? Is that third breast going to have to come off? Her being pregnant would make her seem like less of a hermaphrodite, but that is still an oddity. The wording also suggests her “oddities” are not some kind of scam being pulled by her and Del, not that she has some make-up effects expert to put a third prosthetic breast on every morning.

Elsa reveals a dangerous new act. From the episode title being Bullseye, we are thinking of a knife-throwing act, possibly with Del being the thrower. It’ll spin around with someone Elsa doesn’t like strapped to the target. How could THIS possibly go wrong?

Stanley exerts pressure on Maggie to murder Jimmy.  So Jimmy is, fortunately, still alive at this point. Also, If he’s having to pressure Maggie, it’s because she’s not as shitty of a person as Stanley is; she has feelings for Jimmy and by this point will probably be getting along with the freaks. We doubt she will follow through, but maybe they murder someone else as a consolation prize and this is where the scene with Ma Petite mentioned earlier comes in.

Paul indulges in a secret romance. Maybe we’ll get hints in the previous episodes, but we have no idea what current character could be involved. The contortionist? He was in that porno home movie, but since FX only lets AHS get away with so much, we couldn’t tell if he was with a man or a woman. I seem to remember someone’s head in his lap, but I could very well be wrong. Is he gay or bisexual?  Because that doubles the amount of characters it could be. Matt Bomer’s character, we think, is gone by then; it could be another guest star.

The women of the Freak Show rally against Dell after his latest act of violence. His LATEST one? He does seem to be a mean drunk. Also, though they gave him a little humanity (not much, but a tiny hint of it) in Edward Mordrake Part One, it doesn’t sound like he’s going to be a nice guy, deep down. Not to mention, he sold tickets for an audience to watch a young Esther give birth to Jimmy, which is pretty horrible. She was outdoors and didn’t even get to lie down, and there weren’t exactly any OB-GYNs around to help her stay comfortable and safe. This will be ugly, but unfortunately for him, he’s out-numbered.

A strange encounter with Dandy raises Jimmy’s suspicion about the clown murders. You’d think Jimmy would already have seen some big red flags by now and figured it out, but I guess he’s too busy with his complicated romance with Maggie and the Twins.

Once again, here is the link to the latest post-mortem and our list of ten highlights from it. Meanwhile, feel free to add your own speculations!