Heads Up!

Final Destination Fever!

I’ve always been a fan of the Final Destination series. Sure, FD4– which had the nerve to call itself THE Final Destination (without caps, but still) –was the weakest of the series. Short on scares, had pacing problems (uneven), I really didn’t care what happened to the characters (with the exception of the black security guard, at least they gave him a back-story and Mykelti Williamson made him likeable). Not only do they not try very hard to get us to care, but some of them–even the ones who were key because they escaped the disaster so they could get taken later by the Grim Reaper in some outrageous and/or creative set-piece (which, let’s face it, is what fans remember and usually see the movies in the series for) didn’t even get names, instead four survivors that get their classic FD ‘hand of death’ treatment are simply listed in the credits as “MILF”, “Mechanic”, “Racist” (OK, I can forgive that one),  and “Cowboy”.

Some characters don’t see it coming, and are in fact of the middle of a sentence when BOOM, out of nowhere, they’re decapitated or hit by a large vehicle, killing them instantly (but scaring the shit out of any other characters present at the time).

The leads don’t even have last names, so there’s no shout-outs to anyone in the genre. Furthermore, Tony Todd isn’t in it, and yeah, he was providing voice talent for Transformers at the time, but he had scheduling conflicts with FD3 and they still figured out a fairly easy and clever way to include him as the voice to set the mood and intimidate amusement part patrons fir The Devil’s Ride (“world’s scariest roller coaster”, think I’ll take a pass).  I will give it credit for buckets of gore (in 3D, which they take full use of from the first frame to the last) and a decent story. The two most rotten pricks in the survivor’s group get the worst deaths in the movie.

Which segues nicely into a poll I made up after a recent 2-day FD marathon (which also led me to tons of content when I write about the series again and again). Some characters don’t see it coming, and are in fact of the middle of a sentence when BOOM, out of nowhere, they’re decapitated or hit by a large vehicle, killing them instantly (but scaring the shit out of any other characters present at the time). What’s the least desirable death in the series? Which of these makes getting quickly crushed by a random heavy object sound like a cold beer on a hot summer day?

Remember, you can write your own answer… though I’m pretty sure I got all the really nasty ones. More content coming up!

*”…and you don’t even want to think about fucking with that mac daddy.” -Tony Todd as Mr. Bludworth in the original film.

So, What Do You Fellow Horror Fans Think?

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