Chrissie's Last Swim

It’s the JAWS Drinking Game!

So!  I got the coveted Jaws Blu-ray as a wedding anniversary gift from my husband earlier in the week. I suppose I could write about how great it is, and why, plus my memories of seeing it in the theater as a kid, but vacation-brain, remember? Instead (for now) I came up with a drinking game. Of course, if you’re not of legal drinking age where-ever you’re located,  just drink some milk or V-8 or fruit punch (red, of course, reminiscent of blood diluted with ocean water) or an energy drink, heh heh. If you’re healthy, not under the legal limit, drink socially, and don’t plan to be driving or operating heavy machinery any time soon after the movie, knock yourself out (so to speak)! How about a case o’ home-made apricot brandy? No? Good choice.

OK! Here’s how it works! Regular version: you got five choices. Pick either Brody, Hooper, Quint, Jaws himself, or the miscellaneous column  (I’m not being lazy, that’s the actual title of the category).  If  more than one person calls Quint, either play Shark-Blood-Harpoon Rock-Paper-Scissors, or arm-wrestle (hey, it is Quint). Also, I don’t want to be held responsible in any way if anyone vomits all over their flat-screens, so watch which category/character you pick if you’re a lightweight! Start with Jaws/Bruce. High alcohol tolerance? Try Quint—he has a pretty high tolerance too!

Simple Version: If there’s a trailer on the DVD, watch it (one of the ones with dialogue, not just a voice-over ‘teaser trailer’) before viewing the feature film. Proceed to drink when a line from the trailer is spoken in the movie (“Michael? Did you hear your father? Out of the water, NOW!” or “This was no boat accident.”)

High Tolerance Version of above– also drink once for a shot/moment that appears in the trailer (like the push-in on Brody showing his reaction to his realization to the Alex Kinter attack), or ‘Chrissie’s Last Swim’) occurs in the movie.

Brody
1 drink when:
  • He mentions that he hates the water (or another character calls him on it)
  • Goes through an entire scene with his cigarette in his mouth
  • Swears (high tolerance? Add religious exclamations like “Jesus!”, etc.)
  • Gets reminded by Mayor that Amity is a ‘Summer Town’, meaning closing the beaches or issuing some kind of proactive
    warning will cost the town too much money
  • Looks like he wants to punch Mayor Vaughn in the face
  • DA/PDA (includes shoulder rub) w/Mrs. Brody
  • Tells someone he used to be a cop in New York, and took this job because of the peacefulness and he kind of wanted a more stress-free, less hazardous position  in this quiet beach town of Amity

slowaheadchumsomeothisshit_jawsjump.jpg

Hooper —
1 drink when:
  • Uses some aquatic or shark-related lingo that goes over most townspeople’s heads
  • Someone refers to him (to his face) as a college kid/city boy (extra drink if it’s not Quint)
  • Tries to nicely explain to the Mayor (or other authority figure) that a shark is going to attack and eat someone unless they take action/close the beaches
  • Explains less nicely when he gets blown off over and over when he tries to warn them about how dangerous sharks are
  • Makes fun of Quint (when he’s not looking)
  • While underwater in scuba gear, gets terrified (usually by making an abrupt, ghastly discovery, or by encounter with a  three-ton shark) and panics, causing bubbles to burst out of his nose/mouth, close up on his eyes bugging out in shock/fear
  • Laughs/giggles loudly when nervous, or someone says something idiotic. High tolerance version: also drink when he laughs at his own joke.

    OH SHIT

    See bullet point 6 under “Hooper”

Quint
1 drink when:
  • Bellows boisterous sea shanty
  • Croons ominous sea shanty
  • Basically calls Brody or Hooper a pussy to their faces
  • Uses boating/sea hunting lingo
  • Barks directions/orders at the top of his lungs when The Orca is in crisis mode (“Goddammit, lad, MOVE!” etc.).
  • Doesn’t seem overly concerned when part of boat is on fire, motor dies, or boat is clearly taking on water
  • Performs a monologue lasting more than one minute*
JAWS himself (AKA ‘Bruce’)
1 Drink when:
  • Has his meal just baaaarely missed when someone gets to safety at the last possible second
  • Snout/teeth break the water’s surface (sorry, fins don’t count)
  • Makes a horrifying noise that is probably zoologically inaccurate (such as a low roar or a hiss), but it’s so goddamned cool no-one cares about it
  • Bruce’s POV sequence as he cruises underwater while his theme music is played
  • has meat stuck between his 700 teeth after a meal
  • appears to be impervious to bullets or very sharp knives, not even slowing down (unless he’s setting up a trap)
  • successfully eats a human being – drink twice (only four of these).
    Alex Kintner's Last Swim
Miscellaneous –
1 drink when:
  • Dead body –or part of one– pops out and scares the shit out of everyone (audience and/or characters)
  • Any combination of the three lead characters (Brody and Hooper, Hooper and Quint, or all three) get visibly hammered over drinks together (speech is a least a little slurred)
  • Remains of shark victim’s body (on or off-screen) cause a character/s to look like they might puke or faint
  • Anyone trying to kill the shark and get the initial $3000 bounty gets greedy and makes a really stupid, rash decision
  • Mayor (up till third act of movie) announces to everyone there’s no danger of a shark attack, it’s PERFECTLY safe to go in the water!
  • Clusterfuck stampede at beach when someone yells, “Shark!”
  • Any time a classic Jaws line that even people who’ve only seen the movie once remember is delivered (“You’re gonna need a bigger boat”), toast and drink.
Have fun!

 

Imagine THAT breath.

*and of course, Robert Shaw delivers the speech so perfectly that he just levels everything and everyone else on the motherfucking set.

 

 

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Chemical Peel (2012) – ‘Coming This Halloween’ Trailer of the Week

Quick note about the header: lately, there’s an influx of pretty awesome Red Band trailers, Indie trailers, and just plain cool trailers. So many, in fact, that I’ve had trouble sticking to one “Red Band Trailer of the Week” and one “Trailer of the Week”. This time of year is when horror movie ad campaigns begin to ramp up the Coming This Halloween advertising. So this way, I don’t have to whittle the choices down to two ‘Trailers of the Week’, which means I do not have to keep bumping certain ones even though I really want to feature them all before too much time passes (yay).

So, here we go. I saw the title to this movie and got interested; even more so when the filmmakers described it as ‘a cross between Cabin Fever and The Mist‘.  I thought the comparison to The Mist would include some really cool, creative, even B-movie monsters, but it seems to be less monster-ish and more …literal.  Click the link to check out this NSFW trailer for  Hank Braxton’s Chemical Peel on Vimeo!

Official  Synopsis: A bachelorette party turns into a nightmare when the women are trapped in their secluded home while the wilderness around them burns.  Eeeeek.  The official website is sort of skimpy, but worth checking out.  The trailer also evokes the frightening flashback scenes in Tobe Hooper’s  Masters of Horror gut-punch of an episode Dance of the Dead. If you haven’t seen that entry, by the way, it’s one of the best in the series. The trailer for that is below (embedded this time) and included bits of those scenes (especially the beginning of the trailer):

And yes, it is as fucked-up and horrifying as it looks!  That’s another piece, though. Chemical Peel looks like it has serious potential, and I hope the filmmakers make good on their promise to deliver us the flick by Halloween 2012!

Name That (Horror) Frame Contest – Week of 8/26/12

OK! I’m worn out by the back-to-back (to-back) watching of the True Blood Season 5 Finale, and the second-to-last episode of Breaking Badmajor shit went down in both of them. What’s say we dig right in?

For the first frame, see if you can recognize the movie for this flick made over 20 years ago:

Hint: it (or another frame grabbed from the same movie) will be up sooner rather than later as part of a R.I.P. tribute piece.

And in the middle, up next…

Hint: From an anthology horror movie. If you watch ANY scary movies made in Thailand, you’ll probably get this one. And if you don’t watch any scary movies from Thailand… what the hell are you waiting for? You’re missing out, man!

aaaaand finishing off the list for the week, I’m mixing it up a little. So for image #3, we have… a movie that has not been released yet (but is on PLENTY of horror fan’s radar)! This is a PR photo that will either be used to advertise the movie (not on the posters I’ve seen yet-the poster is disturbing, though), or one of the stories. Oh, by the way, a photo that I do NOT own the rights to, and if someone who did create it or was part of The (Blank-blank ) Exhibition wants me to remove it, then I will.  Just holla at me. You might have heard of the movie, but I had to go a little out of my way to discover the image; I bumped into it while I was desperately flailing around online, hoping that by some miracle the movie had recently been released On Demand.* Yes, it’s another anthology movie, but this one  (unlike the above) will be rated NC-17. I just wish they had a release date! Got a guess for the following image?

And it was so gorgeous (even though there’s probably something ugly under that hair, and those may even be man-hands) I used it as the featured image. So take your best shot in the comments section! Also, until someone guesses them, all the previous weeks sets of pics are still up for grabs–not too late if you recognize any of ’em.

Oh, I should note after I post this I’ll be on vacation and on and off “the grid” till early September. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll see a post or two, it’s just gonna slow down till I’m officially back (and my brain comes out of ‘vacation lag’). I have one more “Cold Chills for Summer Heat” piece, and it’s a doozy-but will take longer to write up. Till then, as Mr. Romero would say, stay scared!

-Mrs. Horror Boom

*Not as of this writing, goddamnit!  I’ll keep you posted, though.

Happy B-day, Alexander Skarsgård – Now THAT’S How You Play a Vampire!

…vampires should not ‘sparkle’ when exposed to daylight, for Chrissake! Nope, real vampires quickly start smouldering and burst into flames.

God, I can’t stand sensitive, candy-ass Twilight-style vampires. I like my vamps bloodthirsty and brutal as hell when they want to, or when hungry. From the bad-ass Hooker Clan in Kathryn Bigalow’s ground-breaking gem Near Dark (1987), to Eli in Let the Right One In (2008, though I have to admit that the 2010 American remake was good, and didn’t ruin the original),  to Eric Northman from the HBO series True Blood, played by one Alexander Skarsgård.  I was only going to post something about him turning 36 today if I could find this specific clip,  where he literally rips someone apart with his bare hands (the cracker in question had been asking for it for weeks)… and lookee here!  This was when his character stopped being somewhat boring for me, and I began to understand why he was nearly every female True Blood fan’s favorite character*.

All vamps need to do this periodically – they ARE monsters, not caring, sharing pussies you barely ever see drop fangs, let alone use them. And if they get pissed off enough at other vampires, even their bosses, well…

Also, vampires should not sparkle when exposed to daylight, for Chrissake! Nope, real vampires quickly start smouldering and burst into flames. When they get staked, or otherwise killed, it makes a horrible, very hard-to-clean-up mess.  This rant is coming from a gigantic Buffy and Angel fan, too. At least on those shows, when it was light out and it was an emergency to get somewhere, they could cover up with a thick blanket and run really fast, but they’d still start smoking. Angel tried to do the right thing (when he had his soul) but even then, he had no problem kicking ass and killing people and other vamps when they needed to die. Spike sure enthusiastically fucked up plenty of people who got in his way ( or sometimes just in the wrong place at the wrong time) and loved every minute of it. They still sure as hell preferred human blood to animal blood. Real vampires also need invitations to enter a private human residence. Not to mention, none of them could impregnate humans.  Noble, broody vamps trying to make up for evil shit they did they did to humans in the past got played out for me a while ago. Come on!  Where’s the fun in that? Anyway, happy 36th birthday greetings to Mr. Skarsgård, who always gets vampires right. Stay vicious, Viking!

*he’s not my favorite character on HBO’s True Blood, but I can definitely see where they’re coming from.

Red Band Zombie Trailer of the Week – Cockneys VS. Zombies (2012)

 

Yep, I’m aware I already named my Red Band Trailer of the Week, The Revenant. Just to clarify, that one isn’t a zombie movie. It’s not a vampire movie, either. Now that I’ve seen it, though, it might be safe to call it a monster movie, I’m pretty sure they’re ghouls, if you want to use a pop-culture term …though it could be called an outbreak movie as well. Oh  Hell, it’s just really fun! Plus, if you saw the clips I posted, the only term that fits the mysteriously-undead Bart is a something called a “revenant”.  Glad they don’t label it, even though you know if they played the Zombie card, it may have hustled up the wait for release. However, they didn’t pimp it out that way, which I admire. BTW, today I also discovered a word that made me disgusted, but for all the wrong reasons: “Zom-bedy”. CUT THAT LAZY SHIT OUT! Let’s hope to God that term doesn’t catch on.  Anyway (deep breath…), back to the movie at hand –which clearly has no shame when it comes to embracing the “Z Word”. I saw the upcoming trailer, and it looks to me like they’ve earned it!

The Dead Walk!

Bad news for London. GREAT news for zombie fans!

I’ve been meaning to post this hilarious, kick-ass, bloody NSFW trailer for a couple of weeks now, and I finally got my butt around to it. Check out the (very) Red Band trailer for the upcoming Cockneys VS. Zombies!

I can’t find an official site other than the movie’s Facebook page here, unfortunately, but the IMDB page for the fun flick is here (with lots of links to external reviews). It’s possible that’s because the movie has a built-in fan base already. So far, not hearing any complaints about the entertainment value!*  Cockneys Vs. Zombies kicked the fucking door open TODAY at Film4 FrightFest 2012. Slow-moving Romero-style zombies? I’d bump the movie up a notch just for that.

I was able to find the official plot description, and it’s pretty much what you’d expect from the trailer:

Two hapless cockney brothers try to save their granddad’s care home by robbing a bank. At the same time, a virus sweeps across East London turning all the inhabitants into flesh-eating zombies. They end up fighting their way out of a zombie-infested London, led by an unlikely gang of amateur banks robbers and foul-mouthed plucky pensioners. The undead are brown bread.

Plus I found some ROCKING alternate poster art for the movie, how (bleedin’) cool is this?

Not too shabby, eh?

The film stars Michelle Ryan, Harry Treadaway, Alan Ford, Honor Blackman (AKA Ms.’Pussy Galore’), Georgia King, and Richard Briers. It’s directed by Matthias Hoene, and scripted by James Moran (who has a pretty impressive list of credits, including the excellent Severance) and Lucas Roche. Cockneys Vs. Zombies is scheduled to invade England August 31, 2012. Man, this looks like a fun one! If the film has as much gusto as the Red Band trailer does, what’s not to love?

* and I really hope that poor retiree on the walker makes it!

 

Name that (Horror) Frame Contest – Week of 8/20/2012

OK, this time I’m putting up ONE really obvious frame. The second one is probably obvious too,  but a frame from the same movie got no response, so maybe I need to at least put up one of my coolest, favorite shots of the movie.
Third one will probably be the intermediate-advanced level. And a-one, and a-two, and-a…

Oh wait- remember, comments section—OR, email me. My contact info is on the “About” page, bottom. I was hoping to save myself a bunch of spam by making it tiny and hard to find, but I’m not exactly getting flooded with emails. I was going to put up one of those “contact forms”-you know, like sites or businesses online with shitty customer service do, instead of giving out a phone number or even an email addy and if you’re lucky, have a “optional comment area” instead of just making it multiple choice as far as your question/issue is.  As you might have gleaned, those get on my nerves.

Plus, Horror Boom is clearly not a busy retail site (right now, it’s not even a busy site, period, I’m working on that, though), or a site where people are clamoring for my attention for any reason (except when it comes to spam comments that are so transparent it’s almost insulting to one’s intelligence, get plenty of those to sort through and weed out)*, so a pre-loaded form to contact me is BIG overkill (and would probably look pretty stupid). OK, ADD, back off… return to subject at hand…focus… OK! Let me lay out the three frames, going from easy to average to advanced. Ready for this week?

Hmmmm… I don’t know, this could be from ANY movie…

God, what a cool shot. The old-skool gothic look reminds me  a little of The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland.  Maybe, if there were gold coins spilling out everywhere, Pirates of the Carribian. That’s not the movie this pic is from, though.

And finally…  if you saw the movie, you’ll probably recognize this, but the movie didn’t get such a popular reception, sadly.

Hint: “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, did you enjoy the play?”

Happy Monday… where the fuck did the summer go?

-Mrs. Horror Boom

*here’s an example of an actual, typical spam-flagged comment, and most are variations on this:

Great publish, very informative. I ponder why the opposite experts of this sector, do not understand this. You should proceed your writing. I’m confident, you’ve a huge readers’ base already!

The above one sort of made sense, more or less. The below one, I don’t even know what the fuck they’re talking about! Again, I’m guessing English as a second-third language here:

Gratitude for building this send! I in reality comprehend the no cost info. 1724 (yes, another actual spam). Then there’s a few links with names like chearpviagra.com, sexxxygirlsfreeporn.com, Coolfleshlitesbuyhere.com, etc. Huh… probably not a big horror geek, I’m guessing. Thanks though, Askimet!

Red Band Trailer of the Week – The Revenant (2009)

It’s actually embarrassing that this breakout horror-comedy somehow slipped under my horror geek radar till now. Well, I saw on my IMDB account that I added it to my watch list at some point in the last year, so I must have been really tired or inebriated (or both) when I added it. Hell, it probably was in Fangoria last year or the year before, and I read about it then filed it away, or it was one of the rare issues I didn’t read from cover-to-cover after it showed in the mail. Check out this very entertaining brand-new Red Band trailer!

C’mon, now how fucking cool is that? Too bad that can’t be used as a tagline, because it’d sure fit and definitely put asses in seats. The Revenant: How Fucking Cool Is That?

I’m guessing somewhere along the line, something did not go as planned here…

The Revenant roared through the Festival circuit in 2009, winning a ton of audience awards. The official website is right here, and is packed with information and fun stuff. I do recommend skipping the Comments section if you haven’t seen The Revenant and are planning to, because the section is teeming with spoilers from people who have seen it, most wanting to discuss the ending.

Here’s the official plot description from the “Press” section of the official website…

A horror comedy in the vein of SHAUN OF THE DEAD and ZOMBIELAND, the film tells the story of a soldier (David Anders, from TV’s 24 and Vampire Diaries) who is killed in Iraq and then finds himself resurrected as a “revenant,” or one who has returned from the dead. He turns to his slacker best friend (Chris Wylde, of Descent and The Ten) to help him manage his newfound thirst for blood, and the duo quickly realize that this zombie-fied state is a perfect opportunity to become vigilante crime fighters. However, their adventure quickly becomes more complicated and bloody than they expected as the movie escalates into a series of unexpected and horrifying twists.

Here’s an extended (4+ minute) clip. A little more conversation and a little less action than the above trailer, but it’s pretty cool. Check it out below:

I’m going to have to get way more proactive about local film festivals. Oh, and yes, 2009 is right; it took THIS GODDAMNED LONG for the flick to get a distribution deal. Well, as fucking frustrating as it is, the movie is in good company; The Cabin in the Woods, Trick R’ Treat, and Army of Darkness had to go through the same bullshit (and I don’t think they even got the chance to go through the festival circuit). I doubt I have to convince anyone reading this, though, that when they finally do get a chance, the wait is worth it for us.  But man, time slows to a crawl when you’re trying to be patient!

Heh!

Heh!

 

 

He Has His Father’s Eyes – A (Semi-Grudging) Happy Birthday to Roman Polanski, 79

 

She’s got a pretty strong case for that one. I say “semi-grudging” in the subject line because I’m not too thrilled about how he’s treated a few certain women. He has, however, gone through some unusually horrifying tragedies, such as the brutal murder of his 8-months-old pregnant wife, and both he and his father survived Auschwitz. His mother was murdered there. Now that I think of him living through that, I feel like an icy bitch, so I’ll focus on two of his movies rather than his personal life.

Rosemary Woodhouse: Awful things happen in every apartment house.

She’s got a hell of a point. Regardless of what I think of Polanski as a person, it’s undeniable that he made two very influential movies that actually helped broaden what a horror movie can be.You might even be able to go so far as to say that with Repulsion (1965) and Rosemary’s Baby (1968), he helped change the face of horror.
A beautiful but unbalanced woman who is slowly losing her mind, seeing waking nightmares, leaving fresh meat out to rot and draw flies in her kitchen, and soon after, dead bodies to rot and draw flies in her bathroom (though the landlord has it coming), and is still so frightened she won’t come out from under her head. Outside of Hitchcock, there weren’t too many psychological thrillers with female protagonists in the 60s.

A woman who only wants to protect her baby, going up against what turns out to be a conspiracy when no-one (outside the conspiracy) believes her, and that conspiracy is even more monstrous than she imagined.  When Rosemary figures out that her baby is alive, and finally pulls the curtain to the bassinet back (a moment that gives me chills to this day) only her horrified and shocked reaction is shown and is one of the best examples in cinema history of leaving a sight to your imagination. She also spits directly into her husband’s smug face when she discovered he has betrayed her to further his career, in one of the truly satisfying moments in the film (to me, anyway).

There’s three movies I recall that, when I was in grade school, my parents ordered me out of the room when they aired on TV and announced loudly that it was “time for bed, now!”. The first was the Omen , the second was The Exorcist, and the third was Rosemary’s Baby. I got to watch maybe the first 20 minutes of DePalma’a Carrie, so I guess that doesn’t make the list. With The Exorcist, I don’t even think I made it through the credits or opening scene before getting hustled off to bed.

You know what? I think that was actually a good call. I was way too young to see them, and they really would have haunted me forever, especially The Exorcist, which actively frightens me as an adult. Speaking of that, I’ve only seen Repulsion once in the mid-80s, and there’s stuff that sticks with me to this day.  The hands coming out of the walls, the manicure mis-fire, the skinned rabbit, all the POV shots are as fresh as they ever were. That movie—Polanski’s first English-language movie, by the way—is fucking disturbing. It was so nightmarish that I only needed to see it once.

I have two trailers for Rosemary’s Baby; I should add that the trailers for both movies are bursting with spoilers, so skip them if you’ve been meaning to watch either and haven’t got around to it yet. The first one is considered rare:

not to mention creepy as shit, too. The next one is arguably the most frightening  trailer:

Repulsion’s trailer here is also chock full of spoilers (and cymbal clashes), but so amazing I couldn’t stand to omit it.

There’s barely any blood in either movie, and what there is just seems kind of quaint now compared to modern horror movies.

For every quote where Polanski came off sounding like an arrogant, there are ones that I, and many movie fans, passionately agree with. My personal favorite is “Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.” Now that’s the test of a good movie.

Here’s some fun trivia:

  • One of my personal heroes, William “Step Right Up” Castle, had previously acquired the rights to Ira Levin’s novel Rosemary’s Baby. He’d looked forward to directing it, but studios weren’t so thrilled with his reputation for gimmicks like “Emerg-O” for The House on Haunted Hill (an inflatable, glow-in-the-dark skeleton that would get wheeled over the audience during a similar scene in the movie) and… OK, that’s a different article. No way could I (or anyone) beat the piece John Waters wrote on Mr. Castle*, anyway.  Castle ended up producing the movie (which worked out well for him financially) and having a quick cameo.
  • Mia Farrow was not the first, second, or even third actress they wanted for Rosemary.
  • She really did eat raw meat during the kitchen scene.
  • Ira Levin was very, very happy with the movie adaptation of his novel.

Last night, Rosemary had the strangest dream…

*I highly recommend “Whatever Happened to Showmanship?” (1983) in Crackpot: The Obsessions of John Waters.

 

Happy Birthday to Anthony Anderson

Being a huge fan of The Shield, when someone brings up Anthony Anderson, I usually think of Antwon Mitchell. Then I remember all the scenes with him and Kevin Hart from Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 4.  Someone on You Tube was cool enough to compile the ones from Scary Movie 3 here…

 

 

Wait, man. you can’t go to bed dead, man, that shit would be redundant!

Happy Birthday Mr. Anderson …I hope you show up in Scary Movie 5!

Chills to Beat Summer Heat, Part Three: Bongcheon-Dong

OK, I checked this out last week after a recommendation. It was way too hot for me inside, and actually just as baking-hot outdoors.  I didn’t notice the heat for at least ten minutes after I read this web-comic ghost story, written and illustrated by Horang.

The comic made the rounds in Korean first, and I’m pretty sure it was still scary as hell that way, it’s much more effective being able to know the actual story–much, MUCH creepier. If I say too much –well, just go in clean. That is, if you’re feeling brave. You’ll find the link (very clearly labelled by me, so no-one accidentally clicks on it) below…

A screen shot from the South Korean web comic Bong-Cheon-Dong. A shadow stretching towards her, out of the blue, on what was a deserted walkway. Creepy enough for you? It gets better!

Watch it with either headphones on and the sound turned medium-to-loud, or (like I did) with the volume setting on my laptop medium-to-loud. And no, this isn’t one of those cheap “scary maze game”  or “if you look closely enough at this photo for at least 30 second, you may be one of the people who sees the suggestion of a ghost” jumps. Yeah, those work the first time; anyone can make someone jump with a loud blast of noise and a representation of Samara Morgan suddenly appearing while you’re focusing on something else*. Real artists earn their scares, and this is one of them. After you click the link below, scroll down as you read the web-comic, get into the unsettling (at best) story, and let it wash over you… and see what happens.

Click here to read the Creepy-Ass Boncheon-Dong South Korean Ghost Story.

 

If you’re prone to panic attacks or anxiety, I’ve officially (if sort of retroactively) warned you about watching/reading after dark! Seriously, I don’t want anyone to start hyperventilating and pass out like Tony Soprano used to. OK, it’d probably take a lot of other scary things going on in your life to cause you to collapse to the floor in a dead faint, but still. I don’t even want to think how it would have affected my mood and insomnia if I hadn’t been mentally healthy and feeling fairly cool, calm, and collected when I read it! Keep the sound on, turn the lights down, and check out Boncheon-Dong. After people have had a chance to read it, I’ll go into the background. I actually want to find more from this comic series, because (unsurprisingly) the artists/writers know how to scare the living shit out of everyone …with finesse, might I add.

Let me know when you’ve read it…  and pleasant dreams! Did I mention this is an urban legend, but supposedly based on a true story? I’m a little hesitant to look into the background, even though I know it’s probably just an urban legend, because I may find more information than I need.

Update, 8/19/12: Showed this to my husband last night (yep, after dark), with the volume cranked, and as he was casually scrolling through, realized I was doing my Pilates/yoga breathing, a technique I learned not just to do doing a workout, but to calm down if I can feel myself starting to get jumpy or see red. Guess my body was ahead of my brain. This is a man who saw Insidious with me in the theater and barely changed his facial expression while at least half of the audience screamed in panic at over half a dozen BIG jump scares. If he did flinch, it was due to the fact he was sitting inches away from the loudest scream queen in the theater (me). Bongcheon-Dong made us both jump twice (and I knew what was coming) and prompted him to comment on the freakiness after the first jump and swear loudly the second. In fact, I had to nudge him a little to get him to finish reading the entire story.  So yeah, that’s his endorsement …and shortly after we finished and he fell asleep, I left more comfortable after I turned the fan down from the “High” to “Low” setting.

*By the way, have you seen (among the ton of ‘Funny Reaction to Scary Maze, Lol!’ videos on You Tube), the ones where they trick a kid clearly so young they were probably in Kindergarten at the time into watching it? And it’s usually one of the parents that gets the clever idea not only to scare their small child but RECORD it for laughs? I have a rule of thumb not to judge others on their parenting skills since it’s none of my business, but what the fuck is wrong with them? You deliberately frightened your kid to the point of tears? You think that’s a good idea? Really? If I put links up to any reaction videos to Bongcheon-Dong, it’s going to be of grown men (and there’s no shortage of those) who filmed themselves reading it. Now THAT is some funny shit.