New Theatrical Trailer for Grave Encounters 2 (Electric Boogaloo)

 

OK, so that’s not the actual end of the title. Sorry, for some reason if the syllables are right, I can’t stop myself from typing that after the name of a sequel ending in “two”.  Actually, there’s a point in the trailer where some poor guy appears to be doing some kind of sick electric boogaloo (it looks like ECT gone horribly wrong—you’ll know it when you see it). Anyway, I’ve been psyched about Grave Encounters 2  since I discovered it was in production!

Damn! What the fuck  was  that thing climbing out into the hallway from, well, whatever hole in the wall it came out of? I couldn’t even tell it’s gender (not that I am complaining,  that creature is grotesque enough without having to see its junk)

I raved previously about Grave Encounters when I put it on the list of Ten Trailers to Keep You Awake.  I think it might be one of, if not THE, scariest found-footage movies to come out of the US and Canada.  I’m probably in the minority here, but it scared me a hell of a lot more than Blair Witch. Spain’s [REC] is probably the most terrifying found-footage movie I’ve ever seen, and might even make my list of the top ten scariest horror movies, period- -if not the top ten, then it would definitely earn a place in the top twenty. But I digress. In the interest of full disclosure,  The Vicious Brothers wrote and directed the first film; this time they wrote the script, but handed the directing reigns to John Pollquin, making this his full-length directing début. I still have plenty of faith in The Vicious Brothers to deliver the goods. The one thing I would have liked to see, though, is a ‘viral site’ marketing the movie campaign. Especially since the movie is so ‘meta’, and involves ‘a mysterious blogger,’ (see the official plot description after the jump) they could have come up with a GREAT marketing campaign and had some fun with it. I LOVE  IT when genre films go the extra mile when it comes to promotion …and it’s clear they’re having as much fun playing with it as the fans were. Links to great, entertaining, and just plain fun promo sites will be coming soon in a feature piece, by the way, and there’s some serious must-sees in there.

Here’s the official plot description for Grave Encounters 2…

In 2011, GRAVE ENCOUNTERS was a found-footage horror phenomenon from the Vicious Brothers, with a trailer garnering over 20 million views on YouTube. Many people believed it was just a movie. They were wrong, and film student Alex Wright is out to prove it in GRAVE ENCOUNTERS 2.

While researching the events depicted in the original film and the subsequent disappearance of its lead ”actor” Sean Rogerson, Alex Wright received a bizarre video from a mysterious blogger named “DeathAwaits666.” Appearing to show Rogerson still alive but trapped inside the Collingwood Psychiatric Hospital from GRAVE ENCOUNTERS, Alex and his friends agree to meet the blogger at the infamous hospital in hopes of learning what really happened.*  To their horror, they quickly find themselves face-to-face with unspeakable evil. Realizing that they must be smarter and faster than Rogerson and his crew to avoid suffering the same fate, they use their knowledge of the original film to do whatever it takes to survive the sequel.

Yeah… I don’t think that last part’s gonna happen. Take a look at the first theatrical trailer for Grave Encounters 2 below!

Damn! What the fuck was  that thing climbing out into the hallway from, well, whatever hole in the wall it came out of? I couldn’t even tell its gender (not that I am complaining,  that creature is grotesque enough without having to see its junk). Bringing back the main character (and possible sole survivor) from the first movie has potential.  Thinking back, I can’t even say for sure who got the worst death in the first movie. Many times after whatever monster/demon/ghost combo got ahold of someone (causing the other characters present to scream “WHAT THE FUCK?” “SHIT!” “FUCKING RUN!”  at the top of their lungs while the footage got blurry or digitized as they either dropped the camera to come back for later or blunder quickly away from the scene) the poor bastard just …vanished.  I don’t think vanishing after being suddenly yanked into a bathtub filled to the brim with blood means they got an easy death. So, that leads me to think…

(SPOILER ALERT FOR THE ORIGINAL GRAVE ENCOUNTERS – highlight the text below to reveal and read). Who knows if they’re in some kind of hell-dimension, or just dead? I think the guy who fell down the elevator shaft and died when he hit the ground probably had it the easiest. OK, now I’m getting too spoiler-y as far as the original. Anyway, we never saw him die… his character was the biggest douchebag in the movie, but he ended up having to catch and eat live rats, then got a lobotomy. The horrible old-school ice pick kind. OK, now I’m getting too spoiler-y as far as the original and wanting to veer off topic.

Check out the first teaser poster below—the tagline struck me as kind of lackluster, but the image sure as hell got my attention!

YEEEEK

Some people are worried the movie is going to get too “meta”, which was a concern to me for the first 20 seconds or so of the trailer, when fans are recommending Grave Encounters as a great, scary movie to pick up a copy of and see, bla de-blah. After that, though, it starts to get interesting. Even though this trailer swears Grave Encounters 2 contains 2 X THE FEAR, 2 X THE INTENSITY, and  2 X THE ENCOUNTERS, I’ll just be happy if it’s up to par with the original. Also, I have a suspicion that I don’t really WANT to see a sequel twice as frightening as the original,  since the first one already was scary enough to shoot my nerves to shit!

Fuck Everything And RUN!

Most people (including me) seem to agree that if the sequel is as good as the first movie–or even a notch down– they’ll be in for a great, scary ride. Lucky Uncle Creepy, from my favorite horror news site Dread Central, has seen it and said it “could very well be the perfect sequel”.  I pretty much trust him 100% – besides being just as passionate a horror fan as I am (probably more, since he devotes so much of his time to Dread Central he seems to be on it 24/7, unlike me)  has yet to steer me wrong with a review of, well, anything as of this writing.  Oh, and they also gave us a look at a second poster that’s hard not to get a big grin looking at:

This Ain't Mark Zuckerberg

Looks like we’ll get to find out for ourselves when Grave Encounters 2 is available On Demand on October 2nd (with a theatrical release and midnight screenings beginning on October 12 … right, like I have the willpower to wait for that**). Only weeks away; time for a new “Milestone” countdown widget!  Now that I think of it, the release date is great timing for those of us who have been jonses-ing for American Horror Story: Asylum to start already, goddamnit! on October 17th. So, we’ll have GE2 to look forward to two weeks before the premiere, which should hold us over a bit longer.

Also, that buys me a little extra time on my article featuring a trilogy of my current favorite–and most terrifying– insane asylum-set horror movies (Session Nine, Asylum Blackout (nothing supernatural in that one, but JESUS it was terrifying) and of course, the original Grave Encounters). I’m also writing a piece that is in danger of growing to a novella-length essay on the history of the Danvers Asylum, which I’m fairly convinced was haunted, and I sure as hell want nothing to do with the Luxury Apartments built on the property after the Asylum was torn down. Fuck that!  Would YOU want to live there?

Oh, and the “Collinswood Hospital/Sanitorium”  (the setting for both Grave Encounters movies) is —unlike the aforementioned Danvers in Session Nine— is, thank God, completely fictional. But looking at this (fictional) atmospheric image of the exterior, you could have fooled me. Feast your eyes on the below…

Well lissen, I gotta go.

It’s not often you see an image so spooky, yet almost breathtakingly beautiful. Now THAT takes some finesse from the production design team.

*visiting the ‘real psychiatric hospital from the original’ film: Bad Fucking Idea, or Big Fucking Mistake?

**I’ll end up being just about as patient as I was with REC 3: Genesis, Asylum Blackout, Piranha 3DD  (and boy, was seeing THAT one in 2-D for less than ten bucks at home one of the best judgement calls I’ve made in the last couple of years) and V/H/S when they popped up in the “Just In” section On Demand before the official VOD date.  Let’s see, here. So I can watch it starting in less than two minutes at home for $9.99 (sometimes less than that)  instead of waiting several more weeks to see it in the theater for $12.50? Especially Though there’s nothing, and I mean nothing  like the high of seeing a Midnight Preview or an opening night showing in a packed theater full of fans just as excited to see the movie as you are …DEAL! When I have a choice between INSTANT gratification or waiting (unless I know for sure it’s going to be showing here in the Emerald City –not in a theater that’s an area code or two away– and guaranteed a lively crowd, with the date less than two, three weeks tops from now) all my willpower instantly goes down the drain when it comes to a horror movie I’ve been all hopped up to see for months.

 

Chemical Peel (2012) – ‘Coming This Halloween’ Trailer of the Week

Quick note about the header: lately, there’s an influx of pretty awesome Red Band trailers, Indie trailers, and just plain cool trailers. So many, in fact, that I’ve had trouble sticking to one “Red Band Trailer of the Week” and one “Trailer of the Week”. This time of year is when horror movie ad campaigns begin to ramp up the Coming This Halloween advertising. So this way, I don’t have to whittle the choices down to two ‘Trailers of the Week’, which means I do not have to keep bumping certain ones even though I really want to feature them all before too much time passes (yay).

So, here we go. I saw the title to this movie and got interested; even more so when the filmmakers described it as ‘a cross between Cabin Fever and The Mist‘.  I thought the comparison to The Mist would include some really cool, creative, even B-movie monsters, but it seems to be less monster-ish and more …literal.  Click the link to check out this NSFW trailer for  Hank Braxton’s Chemical Peel on Vimeo!

Official  Synopsis: A bachelorette party turns into a nightmare when the women are trapped in their secluded home while the wilderness around them burns.  Eeeeek.  The official website is sort of skimpy, but worth checking out.  The trailer also evokes the frightening flashback scenes in Tobe Hooper’s  Masters of Horror gut-punch of an episode Dance of the Dead. If you haven’t seen that entry, by the way, it’s one of the best in the series. The trailer for that is below (embedded this time) and included bits of those scenes (especially the beginning of the trailer):

And yes, it is as fucked-up and horrifying as it looks!  That’s another piece, though. Chemical Peel looks like it has serious potential, and I hope the filmmakers make good on their promise to deliver us the flick by Halloween 2012!

Red Band Zombie Trailer of the Week – Cockneys VS. Zombies (2012)

 

Yep, I’m aware I already named my Red Band Trailer of the Week, The Revenant. Just to clarify, that one isn’t a zombie movie. It’s not a vampire movie, either. Now that I’ve seen it, though, it might be safe to call it a monster movie, I’m pretty sure they’re ghouls, if you want to use a pop-culture term …though it could be called an outbreak movie as well. Oh  Hell, it’s just really fun! Plus, if you saw the clips I posted, the only term that fits the mysteriously-undead Bart is a something called a “revenant”.  Glad they don’t label it, even though you know if they played the Zombie card, it may have hustled up the wait for release. However, they didn’t pimp it out that way, which I admire. BTW, today I also discovered a word that made me disgusted, but for all the wrong reasons: “Zom-bedy”. CUT THAT LAZY SHIT OUT! Let’s hope to God that term doesn’t catch on.  Anyway (deep breath…), back to the movie at hand –which clearly has no shame when it comes to embracing the “Z Word”. I saw the upcoming trailer, and it looks to me like they’ve earned it!

The Dead Walk!

Bad news for London. GREAT news for zombie fans!

I’ve been meaning to post this hilarious, kick-ass, bloody NSFW trailer for a couple of weeks now, and I finally got my butt around to it. Check out the (very) Red Band trailer for the upcoming Cockneys VS. Zombies!

I can’t find an official site other than the movie’s Facebook page here, unfortunately, but the IMDB page for the fun flick is here (with lots of links to external reviews). It’s possible that’s because the movie has a built-in fan base already. So far, not hearing any complaints about the entertainment value!*  Cockneys Vs. Zombies kicked the fucking door open TODAY at Film4 FrightFest 2012. Slow-moving Romero-style zombies? I’d bump the movie up a notch just for that.

I was able to find the official plot description, and it’s pretty much what you’d expect from the trailer:

Two hapless cockney brothers try to save their granddad’s care home by robbing a bank. At the same time, a virus sweeps across East London turning all the inhabitants into flesh-eating zombies. They end up fighting their way out of a zombie-infested London, led by an unlikely gang of amateur banks robbers and foul-mouthed plucky pensioners. The undead are brown bread.

Plus I found some ROCKING alternate poster art for the movie, how (bleedin’) cool is this?

Not too shabby, eh?

The film stars Michelle Ryan, Harry Treadaway, Alan Ford, Honor Blackman (AKA Ms.’Pussy Galore’), Georgia King, and Richard Briers. It’s directed by Matthias Hoene, and scripted by James Moran (who has a pretty impressive list of credits, including the excellent Severance) and Lucas Roche. Cockneys Vs. Zombies is scheduled to invade England August 31, 2012. Man, this looks like a fun one! If the film has as much gusto as the Red Band trailer does, what’s not to love?

* and I really hope that poor retiree on the walker makes it!

 

Red Band Trailer of the Week – Juan of the Dead (2011)

I’ve been hearing nothing but RAVES for this zombie flick. Juan of the Dead, (2011) written and directed by Alejandro Brugué,  has won eight audience awards since making the festival rounds, and honestly, the kind of awards where fans and viewers all get a vote gain my trust the most. An early pitch sold it as “Cuba’s first horror film.” I’ll take their word for it!

Juan of the Dead was featured in a recent issue of Fangoria magazine with (I believe) the Fangoria Seal of Approval(™). A review from someone I trust, who saw it at a festival début, said if it had in a traditional theater showing with a traditional audience, he was so vocal that someone would have complained about him to an usher, and he might’ve even been asked to leave. Instead, the VERY live fan crowd howled and cheered through the entire movie. That’s sure as hell good enough for me! Here’s the Red Band trailer.


Here’s the official lavishly written plot synopsis, fresh off the official movie site…
Juan is 40 years old, most of which he spent in Cuba doing absolutely nothing. It’s his way of life, and he’s prepare to defend it at any cost, along with his pal Lázaro, as lazy as Juan but twice as dumb. Juan’s only emotional tie is his daughter, Camila, a beautiful young girl that doesn’t want anything to do with her father because the only thing he’s good at is getting into trouble.
Suddenly some strange things start to happen, people are turning violent attacking one to the other. Juan was first convinced it’s just another stage of the Revolution. Official media refer to the attacks as isolated incidents provoked by Cuban dissidents paid by the US government. Little by little Juan and his friends start to realize that the attackers are not normal human beings and that killing them is quite a difficult task. They’re not vampires, they’re not possessed, but they’re definitely not dissidents; a simple bite turns the victim into other violent killing machine and the only way to beat them is destroying their brains.
Juan decides that the best way of facing the situation is making some money out of it…


“Juan of the Dead, we kill your beloved ones” becomes his slogan. Lázaro, along with his son Vladi, and Camila (who had no other choice but joining her father after he rescued her from grandma´s killing desires) are Juan´s army, and their mission is to help people get rid of the infected ones around… at a reasonable price.
But this plague of bloodthirsty attackers is out of control. The population is helpless. There comes a moment in which the only way out people found is throwing into the sea and try to run away from an island that became a real carnage, and Juan has no choice but to do what he avoided all his life: take some responsibility assuming a hero role, to guide his beloved ones with the hope of getting them safe out of the madness in which Havana, full of flesh-eating zombies has turned.

Here’s the teaser, longer than most traditional teasers, and a pretty clever one at that:

How do you see it,  we both ask? Well, the movie is on the festival route  now (you can also check the somewhat plaintively titled section “WHERE?” on the official Juan of the Dead site , which is packed with info and fun stuff, by the way). Guess what, though? It will hit digital VOD platforms from Focus World next August. Uh… wait, this IS August!  It better be available somewhere to watch FAST when it hits digital VOD (which it hasn’t yet, at least on Comcast, and surprise surprise,  Netflix doesn’t even have a fucking availability date).

I’m not entirely sure what the story behind THIS still is, I’m thinking a creative zombie-kill.

By the way, there’s an entire You Tube channel created by the film-makers, which I’m guessing has enough behind-the-scenes, making of, and Q&A footage that it adds up to at least the running time of the film. I didn’t see any major spoilers, either, so if you have time for the movie but no way to watch it yet, the You Tube Channel for Juan of the Dead should hold you over temporarily! Until then…

Red Band Trailer of the Week – [REC] 3: Genesis!

First, a fast heads-up. If you haven’t seen [REC] or [REC] 2, and plan to, this post could contain some spoilers. If you plan to see them, now would be an excellent time. Just don’t count on getting a full night’s sleep, and there’s a chance what sleep you did get won’t be free of nightmares!

 [REC] is an outbreak movie, not a zombie movie.  Just because the non-human attackers LOOK horrifying, very hungry, and suddenly come running up at you  (which should be a hint right there …. If you’re a fellow devoted Romero fan,  I’m positive I’m preaching to the converted on that note),  try to bite you, and if the infection is passed that way, DOES NOT MAKE THEM A GODDAMNED ZOMBIE! Okay, I’ll stop shouting.

Well, this one is great for many reasons. It’s another [REC] movie, but it’s not really a sequel; it takes place around the same time of the events in the first movie (someone at the wedding shows up with a dog bite that will sound familiar). I’ve even heard some of the film-makers call it a prequel (hence the ‘genesis’ added to the title, I presume). It’s definitely different–mostly in style– from the first two entries; the first half is shown as cut-together ‘found footage’ (via all the wedding professionals hired to make the wedding video, and possible some footage from other guests) and the second half does a totally new style for the series— regular shooting, non-documentary style. I’ve heard from those who’ve been lucky enough to see it early on that it’s still scary as hell, but has a more festive tone, with an over-the-top Dead-Alive vibe. DONE and DONE!  They had me at [REC] 3, so this is icing on the blood-soaked wedding cake. Check out the latest HD Red Band trailer below—it contains a lot of new footage AND gore!

Here’s the official English-language summary: A couple’s wedding day turns into a horrific events as some of the guests start showing signs of a strange illness. The action now takes place miles away from the original location and partly in broad daylight, giving the film an entirely fresh yet disturbing new reality. The infection has left the building. In a clever twist that draws together the plots of the first two movies, this third part of the saga also works as a decoder to uncover information hidden in the first two films and leaves the door open for the final installment, the future ‘[REC] 4 Apocalypse.’

I have absolute trust in Paco Plaza at this point.  I’d read that both the writing and directing were split between Paco Plaza  and Luiso Berdejo …now where did I read that again? Oh, yeah–on the tagline listed on the IMBD! Tagline: Two radically different films from Paco Plaza and Jaume Balagueró.  That’s catchy. I have to look into this more, since I’ve read different “intel” on the Spanish site. Also, the IMDB lists Plaza as the sole director, and only shows the writing credits split. I’ve also seen the tagline The Infection Has Left the Building, which definitely has more flair than the first one.

Well, at least she and Pablo got some pretty impressive footage.

Here’s some more shiny [REC] 3 goodies for you. If you’re anything like me and have basically been stalking the movie online for the past six months or more, as soon as it became official and there was a teaser trailer, you may have seen most of them. Or, you may be a big [REC] fan and heard about the new movie, said, hey, that’s really cool! and then patiently looked forward to the release of the movie in a rational manner (unlike very impatient me) and just seen the occasional news item when it comes up, then you’ve got some fun stuff to check out in preparation for the movie’s release date on August 3, 2012 On Demand and DTV, and September for theatrical release.  I assume the theatrical release is limited; either way, no way in HELL will I able to wait. I’ll probably be looking for it Thursday (after midnight, so I guess VERY early Friday) On Demand.

Here’s a very short clip that’s also very bloody. Oh, it’s in Spanish, but it’s not a really dialogue-heavy scene…

Wondering whether la Niña Medieros, AKA the Medieros Girl, AKA the Attic Monster, makes an appearance in this movie? Looks like we’re in luck (and good news: yes, Javier Botet, the original actor from the first and second installments, is playing her/it – so it will be creepy).  You can find out how in this possibly spoiler-ish clip. Well, it might not be TOO spoiler-y if you don’t speak Spanish. I thought it was a clever, believable way to make sure we fans got to see her/its return. I also love that Mr. Botet appears to have gotten third billing, right after the two leads playing Clara and Koldo, the very, very unlucky bride and groom. As you can see, I do not own the copyright to this clip (courtesy of fanaticosderec.blogspot.com).

Before I forget: speaking of spoilers*, avoid the Wikipedia page for the film, which gives a complete plot summary from start to finish. I didn’t even realize till I was halfway through that it WAS a complete synopsis rather than an elaborately detailed description to set up the plot.  You may just want to stick to the links I give you, but obviously, it’s your judgement call. I went into both movies knowing VERY little other than the set-up (especially [REC] 2, which I’d only seen a brief teaser trailer for before I watched it) and it turned out to be the right call.  I sure as hell didn’t want to know everything that happened from start to finish (though I knew it wouldn’t end well; real found-footage horror films end up with every one of the characters dying, or very clearly totally fucked). I got some big surprises and even bigger jumps along the way.

Angela, I’m afraid I have some VERY bad news for you and Pablo…

Here’s another bit of advice: ignore any review or comment from someone referring to the infected as zombies. The series is an outbreak movie, not a zombie movie.  Just because the non-human attackers LOOK horrifying and come running at you looking hungry (which should be a hint right there …I’ve seen exactly one movie that used sprinting zombies that enhanced the movie,  rather than hurt the movie. If you’re a fellow devoted Romero fan,  I’m positive I’m preaching to the converted on that note) and try to bite you, and if the infection is passed that way, DOES NOT MAKE THEM A GODDAMNED**  ZOMBIE! Okay, I’ll stop shouting.  It’s established in the first 15 minutes of [REC]2 that it is not a zombie virus, but a contagious demonic possession. Well, a lot of people filled in the blanks and figured that out during the finale of [REC], but I was too busy being scared shitless of the attic monster to pick up on what most people (who unlike me, weren’t so completely terrified that they couldn’t think straight) probably figured out from the newspaper articles and the recording Angela and her one remaining camera-man found that the threat was supernatural.

Concept art for The Medeiros Girl, AKA The Attic Monster, AKA That Thing That Shows Up For a Guest Appearance in My Nightmares An Average of Twice a Year or So

I will be adding more [REC] (and of course, REC 2 and REC 3: Genesis) links, pics, and other cool shit to this post later. I only got what I’ve written so far in one post because I had the brilliant idea of popping in my new copy of the DVD that came in the mail today of Frontier(s) around 1:00 AM, which made me very un-sleepy. In the meantime, though, I have good news and (possible) bad news. While stalking [REC]3 online, I stumbled upon an amazingly detailed, cool, fun [REC] series fan site. Bad news is it’s in Spanish, but don’t  let that stop you. I just said the hell with it and used a free online Spanish-to-English translator to translate chunks that I’d cut and pasted. It’s packed with information and photos and clips. If you’re a fan of the series, check it out now!

See anyone familiar in that mirror?

* and don’t even get me started on the stupid promo for the weak U.S. remake, Quarantine, which shows THE VERY LAST SHOT OF THE MOVIE ON THE POSTER. Even if you didn’t see the TV spots or trailers, that show the moment for the ubiquitous tag–on jump after the very end, you’d walk by the posters on your way in to the theater at some point. Really? Really? Not just the final shot, but one of the biggest jumps? Are you fucking kidding me? Would you show a shot of… OK, sorry, I said I wasn’t going to get started on the promo. Actually, don’t even get me started on the very unnecessary Quarantine in the first place. The sequel to Quarantine is acceptable, because they more or less start from scratch on the mythology (including ditching the found-footage format altogether) and it’s self-contained, and even has a few memorable moments. OK, rant over… for now…

**though the victims of the outbreak in the [REC] series are literally damned by God.

Final Trailer in “Ten Trailers to Keep You Awake” #10 – The Exorcist (1973)

My drawn-out list of Ten Trailers to Keep You Awake has come to a close–until Ten More Trailers to Keep You Awake, of course (think there’s only ten out there)?  I saved the best for last. Seriously, if you’re feeling jumpy and need to wind down to fall asleep because you have to get some rest …well, it might not be good timing to watch this. Perhaps wait till daylight, or when you’ve got work to do and feel yourself nodding off, and you’re out of coffee, would be a more practical time.

This is actively frightening and STRONGLY reminded me of why The Exorcist usually holds the top spot on many, many “Scariest Movies Ever Made” lists, and not just fan lists, but all kinds of print media around the globe. I have yet to see one complaint or someone taking issue with this ranking.

Not that the other nine trailers weren’t scary as hell, but the Exorcist was in the ten-item list for quite some time. I didn’t save it for last as part of some complex thoughtful advance plan; instead, every time I’d think yeah, need to put up the Exorcist trailer and finish the list already, my pulse would speed up. And just fucking forget posting it after dark when I’m the only one in the house still awake. So at 3AM, I got the bright idea to go find the specific version of the trailer I wanted, got the shit scared of out me when running it to ensure I had the right one (and I turned the “mute” on ten seconds in, too), then figured  since it was too late to turn back on the whole racing pulse-causing-insomnia thing, I’d finish what I started.

The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! The power of …oh fuck it.

Before they re-released the movie in theaters in, I believe, 2000-2001, restored and re-mastered. they sold a special edition, which I ended up buying to see the notorious spider-walk scene that was cut. Middle of the day, sun out, hopped on my stair climber for my early workout while I watched (as was my routine at the time). Oh, the special features start with several original trailers? Awesome! Batter up! First thing I see is the below trailer. Huh, the 1973 TV spot, wonder how good th–

Then after my hand stopped shaking enough to work the remote to dial down the volume a little, I get…

Oh, by the way, that reminds me. After it was way too late, I discovered a fun fact: This last trailer above is rare due to the fact that was pulled from theaters out of concern that it would be too frightening for audiences (I fucking agree). Well well!  Isn’t that funny? Oh,  I totally understand; just maybe a little heads-up for those of us watching at home would have been nice, though.

Often imitated –NEVER equalled.

I have a TON of Exorcist content (some of it hard to find online), but I’ll try to keep from taking a sleep-aid by not sharing that in this post. Here’s what someone called an “Exorcist Trailer”, but it turned out to be a (well-crafted) fan-made montage containing 90% of the most horrifying scenes. If you haven’t seen the movie, and plan to, I advise you to skip it, too spoiler-y. If you don’t want to see the, say, the bloody crucifix scene (which still makes me wince every time; I think the Foley artists made it twice as brutal) or a line that sounds like but is not “your mother sews socks that smell”, or are easily offended, REALLY skip it. Now that the spoiler warnings are out of the way,  this should do the trick if you’re still sleepy. This is actively frightening and STRONGLY reminded me of why The Exorcist usually holds the top spot on many, many “Scariest Movies Ever Made” lists, and not just fan lists, but all kinds of print media around the globe. I have yet to see one complaint or someone taking issue with this ranking.

OK! That about does it for me watching anything else related to The Exorcist for tonight! Or any night for about a week after dark! Meanwhile, as a kind of palate-cleanser, here’s the hilarious pre-credits Exorcist parody from Scary Movie 2. Also very, very R-Rated, but it always makes me laugh when I get a little freaked out. Enjoy!

Wonder if James Woods knew the cameras were rolling from between 1.20 and 1.50? Heh. Hope that last clip brightened up your Monday a little! To be continued…

Well lissen, I gotta get going here…

Trailer of the Day- Grabbers (2012)

 

Grabbers apparently opens in the US on August 10th. Just the plot synopsis from the movie makers (though they already had me at “Irish Creature Feature”) sounds awesome:

Short Version: When an island off the coast of Ireland is invaded by bloodsucking aliens, the heroes discover that getting drunk is the only way to survive. Starring Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley and Russell Tovey. Directed by Jon Wright and written by Kevin Lehane.

Longer Version (from the official site):

Ciarán O’Shea, the handsome though washed up policeman of sleepy Erin Island, has a daily routine consisting mainly of hanging out at the pub with the local drunks and various other charmingly eccentric characters. But his day is about to go horribly wrong.

Teamed up with the unwanted help of Lisa – an uptight workaholic policewoman from the Irish mainland – they suddenly find themselves dealing with dead whales, decapitated fishermen and weird alien creatures or “grabbers”. Like a giant squid with tentacles, fanged jaws and a three-foot barbed tongue, they’re making mincemeat of the locals.

Faced with another imminent attack, O’Shea and Lisa figure out that the only person to survive the last onslaught only did so because he was so drunk his blood was literally toxic to the monsters. So there is only one thing for it: They have to get the entire village as drunk as possible in order to survive the night … a task that the villagers apply themselves to with gusto.

But one person must remain sober so for the first time in years O’Shea has to face up to things without a drink. When things don’t go to plan, an extremely drunk Lisa and a very sober O’Shea have to reconcile their differences and somehow save the day.

That sound like fun? It sure as hell does to me! Here’s the trailer, check it out…

And a clip that was recently released; ir looks pretty promising:

So far, all the buzz is good. The movie has won numerous “Audience Awards” at various competions.  As of now, there’s no official website, but a Twitter page has been created for all the latest news: https://twitter.com/GrabbersMovie . This one looks fun!

 

Claymation Horror Short of the Month – Lee Hardcastle’s T is for Toilet

Wait wait whoa whoa whoa! Give me a chance to explain.

A little over 24 hours ago I discovered a movie that’ll be released in October from Magnet Releasing, called The ABCs of Death. Hold up, is that as sick as I think it sounds? Why YES. I read the description from the  twisted but very entertaining, and even addictive, official site for the movie…

FROM THE DIRECTORS OF
HOUSE OF THE DEVIL
HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN
A SERBIAN FILM
TOKYO GORE POLICE
YOU’RE NEXT & Many More
COMES THE GENRE EVENT OF 2012

Twenty-six directors. Twenty-six ways to die. The ABC’s OF DEATH is perhaps the most ambitious anthology film ever conceived with productions spanning fifteen countries and featuring segments directed by over two dozen of the world’s leading talents in contemporary genre film. Inspired by children’s educational books, the motion picture is composed of twenty-six individual chapters, each helmed by a different director assigned a letter of the alphabet. The directors were then given free rein in choosing a word to create a story involving death.

Provocative, shocking, funny and ultimately confrontational, THE ABC’s OF DEATH is the definitive vision of modern horror diversity. Drafthouse Films, Magnet Pictures and Timpson Films are proud to present this alphabetical arsenal of destruction orchestrated by what Fangoria calls “a stunning roll call of some of the most exciting names in horror across the world.” 

They are not fucking around, trust me. The trailer alone was the goriest trailer I’ve seen in over a year. Maybe more, I’ll add it at the end of this post, so you have plenty of warning NOT to watch it if you’re eating something, are easily offended, and can’t stand violent trailers. Even  I was saying, out loud, ” Jesus fucking Christ!!”  at higher than normal volume for when my husband is trying to get some sleep next to me. I’m surprised my husband slept through my reaction.

Don’t take the adjective ‘disturbing’ lightly! Oh, and  several YouTube comments strongly advised “Do not watch if you’re high“. I didn’t feel the slightest urge to test this theory out, but I’m still 100%  sure it’s great advice. This is hands down the goriest claymation short I’ve ever seen…

So there’s that. Then I read about their contest for the letter “T”. It was an open call for short horror films lasting less than five minutes, the prize being the short getting to be included in this fucked-up anthology, with plenty of cool directors attached –the winner would be the 26th director. I am really sorry I missed voting on there, even the entries that I thought would be more appropriately titled, “T is for Torture Porn” had good production values, good effects, and it was clear that the directors took pains to craft the best short film they could. I have a dozen or so more entries I’m either going to post or include in a playlist on You Tube. There are a few ones less worth your while than other ones; I’ll try to limit my playlist to the ten best, entertaining, most effective ones  (okay, maybe twenty, but no more), not necessarily all of them. If by some miracle I can exercise enough self-control to keep it down to ten, I’ll post ’em here for you to watch.

I also watched maybe… pffffft …15-20 entries in a row, which did not have a beneficial effect on my sleep cycle. I had nightmares not about any of the images in the movie, or the movie itself, and I can only half-remember said nightmares. You may be familiar with those. I do remember it was one of those dreams that was so stressful and/or wretched that I made a deliberate, and successful effort to say, OK, this is horrible, I think I’ll wake up now. Even going without enough sleep I can live with, since it’s better than this God-awful dream. Unless you need to stay awake and can’t find coffee, I recommend NOT watching ten of the contest entries in a row after dark.

You Tube description : Very disturbing, not for children. Humorously creepy clay-mation horror that tells the story of a little boy who is a bit uncomfortable about using the toilet.

Don’t take that disturbing part too lightly! Oh, and “Do not watch if you’re high,” several YouTube comments advised. I didn’t feel the slightest urge to test this theory out, but I’m pretty sure it’s great advice. This is the goriest claymation short I have ever seen. Even though there were DOZENS of entries, at least half of them out-standing,  the below short is the one than won the contest call to be included in the movie. I assume the claymation gave them an angle–as well as it should, since it probably took a long, looong time and hard work to create, then execute the concept. I’ll share some of the finest coming up.

OK, you have NOW BEEN WARNED! Plus if this is too gruesome for you, DEFINITELY don’t watch the seriously Red Band gore-fest trailer that I’ll post last.

Nasty little twist at the end, too, that really nails it shut!

Here’s the goriest trailer I’ve seen in years. I think the last real jaw-dropper was a trailer for “Summer Massacre,” but I’m not 100% sure that’s an actual feature film that has now been completed. Again, don’t say I didn’t warn you! BEWARE …unless you’re a gore fan, or curious. VERY NSFW!

Well, I warned you! More shorts from the contest entries coming soon!

Red Band Trailer of the Week – Exit Humanity (2011)

OK, I’m still feeling a little fuzzy, and the heat wave isn’t going away any time soon. Still have something cool for you though (and more to cool you down; working on a Shutter gallery to post soon that’ll probably do the trick).  Here’s an extra-long, extra-cool HD trailer for the ambitious Civil War-era* zombie film, Exit Humanity, written and directed by John Geddes.

I discovered this trailer (and the existence of this movie) last May. Before the trailer was even halfway through, I had it on my watch list. It was a shorter version of the trailer below, but I was in as soon as I saw the animated sequences and recognized that Brian Cox was narrating the film. I don’t recall it being red band, but THIS one sure as hell is. Here you go…

Here’s the official plot synopsis from the film’s Facebook page:

How does a man deal with the loss of everything meaningful in his life, and the loss of mankind’s humanity amongst chaos and despair? Set in 1870′s Tennessee, Exit Humanity is the legend of Edward Young’s horrific and dramatic journey through an unexplainable outbreak of the walking dead to lay to rest the most important thing in his life, his son’s ashes. The bleak post-Civil War era backdrop highlights the severe divide that the United States was facing, the disasters that arise when man tries to play God, and the true loss of hope that so many felt during this period in history.

Exit Humanity blends live action and classical animation to explore how when in situations of severe horror, we must find hope through the very fears that drive us. Starring horror icons Bill Moseley (Devil’s Rejects, House of 1000 Corpses), Dee Wallace (E.T., Cujo), Stephen McHattie (The Watchmen, 300), introducing new horror hero Mark Gibson, and Narrated by Brian Cox (Braveheart, The Bourne Identity), Exit Humanity is a zombie saga that tells the tale of the ultimate battle of good vs. evil.

The official website is packed with information; some of the concept art by Snezhan Bodorv (the key animator) is AMAZING, well-crafted.  I definitely recommend checking out the video showcase below (it actually contains more than the official website in the way of animation, not to mention the official website has been having some technical difficulties the past few days).

I’ve heard mixed things so far about the movie.  The main things people bitch about are: not enough gore, pacing issues (that tightening up the film and trimming 10-20 minutes off would probably fix), and that the major action sequences were replaced with animation.

I won’t be able to see this movie for a couple of weeks (by some miracle, Netflix will be releasing it in a timely manner) but I’ve heard just as many–if not more– good things as I have bitching. I say ‘bitching’ because none of the reviews who found the movie ‘a letdown’ had such terrible grammar and even basic writing skills that it was hard to take them seriously.  I’ll be seeing it. Hope I don’t jinx anything, but really, how bad could a movie that gives Dee Wallace, Bill Mosely, and Brian Cox top billing be? By the way, that just reminded me that some asshole who was too much of a pussy to give any of his real information had to nerve to call Dee Wallace a ‘genre has-been’. They half-heartedly made a similar comment about Bill Mosely, but the one about Dee Wallace pissed me off the most. What bullshit! When someone has been working in the genre (and some different genres, too) consistently for over three decades, that doesn’t make them a has-been, it makes them a hard-working actor, a survivor, and a success. Do either of them look like they’re in their sixties? Look at their work schedules, they have a hell of a lot more energy then I do, that’s for sure. Even I was surprised by how steady and solid their resumes were when I looked them up on the IMDB. I have yet to see a phoned-in performance by either of them.  Mention their names to nearly any horror fan who’s been around since the 80s (or 90s) and their face will light up as they rattle off several of their favorite movies featuring them in supporting appearances or lead roles.

As far as the gore, a good story and good scares are enough for me. Even the detractors have to admit it is beautifully shot.

Here’s a few screen grabs stills that lead me to believe the ‘slow pace’ will be worth the watch; I’m going to trust for now that the movie will have substance along with style. Click for a larger image from the gallery below.

*slightly post-Civil war era, as it turns out.

The Millenium Bug- Trailer of the Week

I’ll have to add to the this post later, since I have plans I’m already running late on, but this looks AWESOME.  What looks like a movie that might just be hillbilly torture-porn turns into a creature-feature PACKED with gore, and? AND! No CGI.

More coming up, but I’ll be doing whatever I can afford to do to help this fun indie get released. “Whatever I can afford”  is less than a dollar, so I guess I’ll just have to spread the word.

If anyone remotely connected with the movie is reading this, NEVER GIVE UP on getting a release of this on DVD. Please. It’ll happen. If there’s anything I can do to help that does not involve money, drop me a line. I can’t wait to see your movie …and I know I’m not alone!

There’s several “behind the scenes” featurettes on YouTube (they have their own channel) and I was forced to quit on a couple just because there were too many spoiler-y shots. Here’s one that doesn’t give away as much, while also being proudly claimed to be a  RED BAND (NSFW) featurette. Wish I could watch all of them, but I don’t want too much given away–especially because there seem to be some REAL jaw-droppers.*  I discovered The Millenium Bug when I was doing a Google image search for “inbred movie gore FX” this week and a very attention-getting gore shot from the movie came up in the results. Once I started reading about it, I got my mind off how rabid I am so see Inbred. Now I’m jones-ing for both of them! Here’s that NSFW featurette (consider yourself warned, those of you trying to eat and/or easily offended).  How they got this insanely off-the-hook beautiful actress to look as unattractive as she did in the movie is proof enough of their makeup FX skills right off the bat! Check it out.

And you can get the best, most up-to-date news from the goodie-packed official Millenium Bug website. Just wish I’d seen the IndieGogo information before the time ran out! If I saw the below crowdfunding video, I would have been getting my credit card out two minutes in**. You had me at “No CGI” and “The original version of The Thing”

If anyone remotely connected with the movie is reading this, NEVER GIVE UP on getting a release of this on DVD. Please. It’ll happen. If there’s anything I can do to help that does not involve money, drop me a line. I can’t wait to see your movie …and I know I’m not alone!

*I meant to connect to an image on their website of a ripped-off segment of a face,  including a jaw, but that’s not the way the gallery is set up. The whole gallery is great, though, and worth checking out!

**Don’t worry, Rick. Not going to happen!