‘Hansel’ Helmer Wirkola Casts Trio in ‘Dead Snow: Red Vs. Dead’ (EXCLUSIVE)

Oh ho! Tommy Wirkola is back? Very good sign. Hopefully it’ll do some justice to the original Dead Snow, which we are huge, huge fans of. Thanks again, Variety!

 

The Editing Room Burns ‘Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters’ At The Stake!

YOUNG JEREMY RENNER

So we don’t need that trail of breadcrumbs, then. Wait, did we even leave one?

YOUNG GEMMA ARTERTON

I don’t think so.

YOUNG JEREMY RENNER

Great. Hansel and Gretel has like six plot points, how did we go off the rails this quickly?

They FIND THE CANDY HOUSE, then get KIDNAPPED BY THE WITCH, then STAB and BURN and KILL her.

YOUNG JEREMY RENNER

Well, that was the classic tale of Hansel and Gretel. The end?

NICE TRY.

-from the abridged version of the script by Craig

Oh well.

Wow, we sure are embarrassed we promoted the red band trailer (back about six months ago). You have to admit, the trailer didn’t make it *look* like a stinker. Thank God we didn’t waste money to see it in 3D. Or 2D. Or DVD.

Click on the big red link below to give the abridged script a read. As usual, it’s hilarious (and in this case, DEFINITELY more entertaining than the actual flick)!

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters: The Abridged Script / The Editing Room.