Evil Dead: The Abridged Script – Another Horror Flick We Hoped The Editing Room Would Parody!

FIVE YOUNG ADULTS arrive for an isolated trip together. FIVE BILLION REFERENCES to the original “Evil Dead” arrive slightly before them.

JANE LEVY

I’m a heroin addict. I’d be dead due to a previous O.D. if a lucky adrenaline injection hadn’t saved the day. I’m quitting drugs forever.

NOT BRUCE CAMPBELL

I’m your brother, here with your friends to make sure you stay put during withdrawal. Screw hospitals and rehab, this is how to break an addiction!

JANE LEVY

Whatever, David.

SHILOH FERNANDEZ

“David?” That’s my character name? Not Ash? Whew, I was worried I’d have to live up to these impossible standards from fans.

BOOK

Do not say the words “Klaatu Verata Nicto.”

LOU TAYLOR PUCCI

Klaatu Verata NiCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH. Close one!

Outside, the DEMON is AWAKENED!

-From the Abridged Script by By Ian S. Click below to read it!

Evil Dead: The Abridged Script/ The Editing Room.

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New Photos, TV Spot And GORY Red Band Clip From “Evil Dead” 2013 (Spoiler-ish Clip)

Hey! Kept trying to find a You Tube version of this nasty, GORY clip (just try not to wince and grab your face/eye during two certain nasty shots) which, strangely, doesn’t require age verification. Also, it isn’t described officially as red band, but oh, IT IS. For one thing, several… events… that are cut from the “green band” trailer, but are definitely on the notoriously gruesome (and COOL-ASS) red band trailer are here in the clip.

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Here’s the thing, it’s kind of spoiler-y. OK, we’ve all seen the images of Olivia cutting off a chunk of her face, I assume? Also, the short (creepy) clip of her face in a bathroom mirror (which is a nice twist on the classic–some might call it cliché, but we’re not feeling cynical tonight– horror movie reveal/jump where a character opens a mirrored medicine cabinet, calmly gets something out/puts it back, then closes it to reveal someone or something horrible is now behind her) made the rounds, and it’s also briefly in the trailer. Saw it? Well, now you can see them in context in this whole fucked-up horrifying scene. HOWEVER, you also see a great ‘splat-stick’ Raimi-esque gag, plus the context of another hideous shot from the red band trailer that involves a needle waaaaay too close to an eye socket (if you did a frame-by-frame watch of the trailer like we did*, you’ll know the bit we mean). Also, we see what appears to be the brutal death of one of the five main characters (doubt it works for long, but it is brutal), and who’s responsible.  Wonder if someone’s gonna walk in and find them like that?

Cool as it is, we did get that slight feeling of regret and disgust with our own impatience that immediately follows a spoiler. Not as major as when we caved and watched the mind-blowing after-credits scene, but still. So be warned: even though we’re 99% sure it happens in the first half hour of the movie, and is only the start of all hell breaking loose in the cabin, it could be a spoiler and needs an alert. Of the sites we’ve found the scene on, most have a spoiler warning of some sort from the staff before the clip.  So we offer this…

New Photos, TV Spot And Clip From “Evil Dead”. (Famous Monsters of Filmland)

 

you can click on this big red link above (until we can find a way to embed the clip) to see it briefly introduced by the much-more-attractive-than-they-appear-in-the-movie cast and watch the clip and get semi-spoiled, or you can also check out the gallery below of screen grabs of the clip instead… we caught all the shots showing off the blood-curdling, gruesome practical effects in it. We mixed up the order things happen in, too. Up to you! Click to enlarge any of the stills. EEK!

Also, there’s some other neat new official content if you do click on the link (you can skip the trailer, up to you). Besides, we couldn’t miss a chance to support Famous Monsters!

FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND (words and distinctive lettering design) is a registered trademark of Philip Kim, 2011.

FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND (words and distinctive lettering design) is a registered trademark of Philip Kim, 2011.

(Again, above logo is ©Phillip Kim, 2011)

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*Which we don’t even consider being embarrassed of or apologizing for, and we’re proud to have achieved that level of geekiness.

Think the Teaser For THE EVIL DEAD Re-boot Was Sick? ‘Till You Watch The NEW Full-Length NSFW Red Band Trailer Here, You Ain’t Seen NOTHIN’ Yet! (Disturbing Image Warning)

Hmm, the above image looks familiar…

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But THAT’S definitely new…

The EW.com article we very recently re-blogged was an in-depth analysis for THIS nasty, wicked, sick new full-length red band trailer. We’re worried this trailer contains ALL the gore in the movie, because we don’t know how they can top plenty of what is seen here. Shit, we don’t know how they’ll even get away with it. What we meant to do was read the EW.com piece, re-blog it, then watch the trailer at the very end of the piece after writing something enthusiastic yet graceful. What we should have done was follow that plan. What we did instead  was get two pages (tops) into the 12-page EW.com piece, then what little willpower and professionalism we began with suddenly went crashing out through the window all at once, as the only thought barging into our brains screamed ENOUGH WAITING, FUCK THAT! WATCH IT NOW! NOW!  and we did so immediately.

Jesus, dude!

Jesus CHRIST, you guys!

I don’t know how this movie is going to get away with an R-Rating, even this red band trailer had us stunned, wincing, and (rarer yet), momentarily speechless.  Just try watching through to the end without wincing and protectively grabbing your mouth/jaw. We still can’t do it! So put down anything you’re eating or drinking* (even water, who knows, you could do a spit-take) and watch this full-length, gruesome, filthy, WONDERFUL trailer below (in HD) now! We won’t spoil the end… until after the jump.

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When the first red band “teaser” trailer (with a little more conversation and a little less action) was released and we posted it in Fall 2012, we made a huge-ass collection of screen caps for a slideshow to post later. Then ADD kicked in (maybe that was about the same time they released the first five minutes and the new opening credits for American Horror Story Asylum) and it didn’t happen.

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Oh, did we say grabbing our JAW? We forgot to mention our EYE. Actually, not 100% sure I want to know what the story behind this screen grab from the full-length trailer even IS.

Well, we just started taking screen-shots of this one, so look for a nasty slide show coming up (though probably not before the finale of American Horror Story Asylum at the end of January, that’s pretty time-intensive)

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“Okay, I am fucking drawing a line in the sand here, DO NOT READ THAT!”

The Evil Dead  opens in April of 2013!

*Especially if it’s warm and red, you’ll know the footage we mean when you see it.