Yep, I didn’t plan my entertainment budget well, and we can’t afford to see The Collection  until next weekend, goddammit. If you can’t see the movie this opening weekend either, but plan to, then click the link below and check THIS cool shit out!

Watch The First Six Minutes Of “The Collection” (2012)

I hear this scene is just a warm-up, probably to weed out the viewers who are easily offended.UPDATE, 4 AM Sunday:  just read the beginning of a detailed spoiler (click here if you want the entire movie completely spoiled for you-but you have been warned, you’ll probably lose respect for yourself) and this is just the START of the real gory mayhem. I’m not kidding, it’s just a warm-up and gets even sicker. There’s not just threshing blades for traps, there’s some flying objects, a couple other things, and something at the very end that I want to spill here, but it’s so awesome and gory I had to stop reading at that point. The heroine sees some HORRIFYING shit! Then I had to scan it for animal violence (I had to fast-forward through that pet cat scene in The Collector, in fact, hearing about that scene was enough to make me not rent the movie for a year after it was out on DVD) since if another animal is crying out in pain, I’ll have to go stand in the lobby looking like a pussy until it’s over. Guts, gore, over 50 gallons of blood in the opening scene alone,  heads exploding, I’m in, but I can’t stand animal violence even though I know it’s fake. Didn’t see any, did see something about a bug zapper trap, face stapling, and an arm being re-broken though …then I figured I’d take my chances and quit.

This is why I don’t go to dance clubs. OK, that and the shitty music they play at most trendy rave-type clubs (plus, I doubt they let anyone over 30 in whether they know the secret password or not). Seeing live bands in normal clubs, there’s no room for farm equipment to descend upon us all and shred us into confetti.

Oh, and I saw some B-Roll footage online that show, what should I call it, The Collection Room, where all those body parts and bones are carefully fused together as works of art (or what The Collector thinks are works of art, I’d be good with a few fish in those tanks). I actually had to stop watching it (which was a big effort, trust me) because they were showing so much in what I’m pretty sure is the last act of the film.

You can see the thing in the tank that’s in the poster art (which actually resembles the stag beetles that seem to be one of The Collector’s favorite pets, just upside-down) and I got glimpses of the other tanks. There’s at least a dozen, maybe more, B-Roll stuff can be kind of limited. One I did get a look at consisted of nothing but a ton of bones wired together and is meant to look like a giant spider (we know The Collector likes those, too, from the trailer, EEEEK) and I’m pretty sure there were at least half a dozen skulls involved. No CGI either because this whole scene is PRACTICAL EFFECTS THAT A REALLY SICK TALENTED CREATURE/GORE FX HOUSE CRAFTED TOGETHER AND OH HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO SEE THIS NOW NOW NOW  EVEN THOUGH I SHOULDN’T BE USING MY VISA THIS TIME OF YEAR HOLIDAY SEASON BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT, THAT’S RIGHT I SAID FUCK IT,  BEEN WAITING MONTHS AND NOW GOOD REVIEWS ARE PILING UP THAT SAY HOW MUCH FUN IT IS AND I… can’t wait… to… see… (panting, catching my breath).
Okay, sorry about that. Lost my mind and had a full-on horror movie geek-out for a minute. I wrote a piece called “Ten Reasons To See The Collector”,  and I haven’t even seen the movie myself yet.  The hell with it, I’ll run it anyway and change it to “Ten Reasons We Can’t Wait To See The Collector “.   Then I can review it after I see it. I’m working on convincing my husband to see it with me, but I might sneak out to a matinée instead if I can get the money together. Still, it’s not as fun when you can’t go, “HOAH!” along with the rest of the audience when something unexpectedly gruesome happens.

OK, where was I? I’ll tell you what else the B-Roll footage I saw showed, but because it might be a surprise, and there’s a slim chance it might involve the fate of a character in the movie, I’ll do my thing where I use super-light font so you need to highlight it to read. Spoiler: besides all the tanks containing the Clive Barker meets H.R. Giger-esque grisly works of art, I saw something really gory on the wall. It’s a woman’s torso, or at least contains a woman’s torso, more body parts might be involved. The Collector pinned and mounted it on the wall kind of like a butterfly, except he cut the flesh open in strategic areas, stretched the skin back, and then pinned it.  If there’s nudity in this movie, it must all come from the torso of female’s corpses.  It looks like a full-color illustration like you might see in an anatomy textbook (a pretty extreme one, but you get the idea). Might have had a head, but that’s around when I forced myself to stop looking because of possible spoilers.

Because I was kind of on this manic-geek binge looking at all the new footage that just went up, I don’t recall exactly where I saw the B-roll footage. If anyone’s interested, raise your hand in the Comments/Reply section and I can probably find it. Meanwhile, enjoy the “Rave Club Massacre” opening–it looks like I’m really going to be rooting for this heroine, she’s no delicate princess needing a man to protect her (though she’s going to need some help after she’s “collected”). Also, there’s some good links in the “Related Articles” section coming up below. Plus, of course, the official blurb describing the movie…

Description: When Elena’s (Emma Fitzpatrick) friends take her to a secret party at an undisclosed location, she never imagined she would become the latest victim of The Collector, a psychopathic killer. The Collector kidnaps and transports her to an abandoned hotel he’s transformed into his own private maze of torture and death. Upon learning of his daughter’s disappearance, Elena’s wealthy father (Christopher McDonald) hires a group of mercenaries to retrieve her from the vicious grips of The Collector. These mercenaries coerce Arkin (Josh Stewart), the only man to have escaped the wrath of this heinous monster, to lead them through the gruesome labyrinth. Now, Arkin finds himself fighting for his own life in order to save Elena. “The Collection,” directed by Marcus Dunstan and written by Dunstan and Patrick Melton, is a suspense horror film with nonstop thrills at every turn.

Related articles

• Get A Last-Minute Sneak Peek At The Collection With Five SICK New Clips! Watch Here To Find Out How Arkin Makes His Bloody Escape From The Collector (horrorboom.com)
• Gorehounds Unite – See Sick New Featurette From “The Collection” (2012) – The Gore Factor! NSFW (horrorboom.com)
• Writer/Director Marcus Dunstan and Co-Writer Patrick Melton Talk THE COLLECTION, Shooting on 35mm, Turning THE COLLECTOR on Its Head, and More (collider.com)
• ScreenCrave’s 2012 Christmas Gift Guide For Movie Lovers (screencrave.com)
• Review: ‘Collection’ a nastily efficient chiller (seattletimes.com)