Ten Trailers to Keep You Awake #9 – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

NOTE: Yes, this is a re-print of an article originally published in May of 2012. Due to missing over a week of postings in late May THIS year (got kicked in the ass by pneumonia and the unexpected death of a good friend) things got pretty sparse here as everything else went out the window at the time …so I’m filling them in (and back-dating them for the days we were on the disabled list) in with cool stuff and postings you may have missed the first time they were printed, because I hadn’t fully understood how to publicize properly back then… Enjoy.

HORROR BOOM

I have no memory from the first viewing of Texas Chainsaw Massacre whatsoever of the newscaster voice-over describing this “top news story”. Missed the entire speech …though I definitely remember John Larroquette’s voice-over along with the crawl.

I get the feeling I’m going to be preaching to the converted here. Probably even some of the people who (generously) read Horror Boom and aren’t horror fans have seen this trailer, and I’m willing to bet some have even seen the movie.  The trailer captures everything that made the movie a classic. If  for some really bizarre reason you’re reading this and have NOT seen the original– OK, let me get something off my chest, goddamnit.

As I was composing that last sentence, it pissed me off that I have to even type that: the original. I’d say that I’ve seen worse horror remakes, but horror fans know that’s not saying…

View original post 856 more words

Advertisements

The Coolest Info-Graphic We’ve Seen Yet For a Horror Series: Check Out This Texas Chainsaw Massacre Labor of Love (AKA The Best Little Horror-House In Texas)!

“Labor of Love?” Did that sound weird or inappropriate? Andrew Barr, who created this, has to love Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This work of art includes a family tree, a carnage count, and our personal favorite “Who Survived And What Was Left Of Them.”

Not only is it pretty goddamned cool, it’ll hopefully be a good palate cleaner to rinse the bad taste that reading about Texas Chainsaw 3D  left in your mouth. We felt an unexpected general malaise after we finished reading and writing about the latter (especially when we saw the news a sequel to it was green-lighted after the studio got a look at the big box-office gross opening weekend). Click on the image to zoom, and check it out!

Screen shot 2013-01-13 at 3.08.43 AM

“TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D” (Movie Review) From Fangoria.com – Psst! Want To Save Some Money?

This is one of the BETTER reviews we’ve read! Much as we’d like to see every TCM kill in 3D, we decided it’s not worth it. Maybe on DVD, perhaps if we got free passes, a ride, and free drinks… well, that’s not saying much, we’d do that for a lot of mediocre movies.

I’ve read the entire spoiler for this movie and old-school horror fans like us (hey, we saw TCM2 in the theater! Opening weekend! Midnight showings only! How’s that  for horror street cred?*)  are mainly going to be pissed off (in our opinion) on the fact they fuck up the mythology. BIG TIME. This includes changing the back-story. GODDAMNIT!

We feel sort of torn attacking Texas Chainsaw 3D  as huge Bill Moseley fans loyal enough to see any genre movie… OK, almost  any genre movie… that he appears in. Every time we’ve met him, including attending Q&A after TCM2 at a convention, he’s been friendly and gracious.  He’s also more attractive in person, to the point where he’s unrecognizable as the actor who played Chop Top and REALLY unrecognizable as Otis from Rob Zombie‘s The Devil’s Rejects  and House of 1000 Corpses**,  or any of his roles where he’s so heavily made-up or made to look revolting and dangerous.

Bill Moseley at Monster Mania 5.

Anyway, the recent issue of Fangoria with Django Unchained  on the cover (#319) has an interview with Moseley, and a piece he wrote (highly recommended). He would have rather played Chop-Top again (he doesn’t even look that much visibly older, not to mention they let him keep parts of his costume and a few props) and we would have rather seen him as Chop-Top than Drayton Sawyer, but the studio didn’t have the rights to Tobe Hooper‘s TCM2. After reading the reviews, then the entire detailed summary of the Texas Chainsaw 3D movie, however, we’re really glad Chop-Top got left out of the whole Gawd-awful thing. Don’t blame him, he had nothing to do with this! Anyone else predicting a drop-off in the second-weekend box-office?

“TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D” (Movie Review): Click Here to Read On Fangoria.com!

 

By the way, if you would like to know everything that happens, here’s the link to TheMovieSpoiler.com’s blow-by-blow description of the entire plot to Texas Chainsaw 3D  (including all the gore).  If you want any surprises, don’t read it! If you’re wavering on whether to spend the money for a ticket, that’s for you to decide, but if you think reading the spoiler would be just as satisfying, and cheaper, read away. The Fango review is worth a read first, though! The replies from readers under the interview are well worth a read, too, and yes, the consensus is …skip it, they want to cash in. Just READING some of the lines repeated from the movie make us wince. And that is why we put TWO links to the detailed spoiler.

Screen shot 2013-01-09 at 5.59.42 AM

Fangoria Logo Copyright Fangoria Enterprises- All Rights Reserved

*NC-17 hadn’t been invented yet, so instead, no-one under 18 was allowed to buy a ticket– Mrs. Horror Boom just barely squeaked by,  and didn’t have to bribe her big sister to take her at the time.

** Now THAT is a fucking horror movie title!

Carrie White Burns in Hell and other Classic Horror Jumps (Vote for Your Favorite)

Sometimes I get the brilliant idea (based on absolutely no evidence whatsoever) that if I remember the [jump] scene in vivid detail, I’ll sort of deconstruct it and it’ll lose some of the scare value. Well, 99% of the time, I turn out more freaked out then before…

We’re talking BIG jumps. You know, the kind you either block out after you see the movie because your brain is trying to protect itself from you hitting your head on the ceiling more than once, or, more likely, the kind how may have seen decades ago and will forever be entrenched in your central nervous system. With some jumps, especially those below, I started feeling panick-y just remembering the scene –mainly because I can completely recall the first time I ever saw it in the theater OR my home–and the feeling of my heart skipping a beat …or two. Some are still as fresh in my mind as if I saw them days, not years, ago.

“Slow ahead.” I can go slow ahead. Come on down here and chum some of this shit.

Only halfway through jotting them down, I realized I had well over a dozen and decided to split it into “classic jumps” (during the 70s and 80s) and “contemporary jumps.” I have trivia to add on almost every single one. Some of it, you’re probably aware of, but maybe one or two will be news to you. Sometimes I get the brilliant idea (based on absolutely no evidence whatsoever to support my theory) that if I remember the scene in vivid detail, I’ll sort of deconstruct it and it’ll lose some of the scare value. Well, 99% of the time, I turn out more freaked out then before. Every time I try it, I know it will almost certainly backfire on me, so I learned to do it a little less now… most of the time. I doubt I’ll ever completely learn my lesson.

Okay… there’s nothing out there on the wing of the plane… I’m seeing things… I’ll just gather my nerve and slide the shade up to double-cheEAAAAAAAAAAAH!

You can put your own answer down if you don’t see your most memorable jump here, but there’s a pretty fair chance it’ll show up in the next poll in the series (or, just comment away). Since the poll lists ten moments (and one of them is a two-fer) I allowed up to four repeat votes, in case you couldn’t pick just one.  I think I know which one will be the most popular –but hey, I could be wrong.  Let’s find out together, shall we?

Vote away! Even if you’ve only seen one or two of the movies, it’ll come to you which one made you jump highest, I can promise you that…

It’s a GOOD LifEEEEEEEAAAGH!!!!

*Writing this post at 4:00 AM was a terrible goddamn idea!