Marcel Sarmiento « HORROR BOOM

Along with a couple of screen grabs …not all of them crystal clear, but the good ones flash by really fast and are hard to catch (we’ll see what we can do about getting more)! It doesn’t have a ton of footage, but what it does have it enough the whet the appetite, though we could do without the torture porn-y looking shot or two. Also, don’t let the freeze frame for the trailer fool you; Tank, the poor, poor dog from “Alien Abduction Slumber Party” in the final segment from V/H/S 2 isn’t in this installment, they’re just showing a flurry of memorable moments from the first two flicks before they get into the new movie. Check it out below!

Pretty sure after “Safe Haven” (and “A Ride In the Park” wasn’t too shabby, either) from V/H/S 2, we’re prepared for anything, but unless it gets 100% shitty reviews, we’re watching it one minute after midnight on the release date for VOD. Here’s the official, (and slightly different from the past two) plot description for trusty ole Magnet Releasing:

V/H/S: Viral features segments from directors Nacho Vigalondo (Timecrimes, Extraterrestrial), Marcel Sarmiento (ABCs of Death segment “D is for Dogfight”), Gregg Bishop (The Birds of Anger), Justin Benson (Wrecked) and Todd Lincoln (The Apparition).

V/H/S/: Viral’s segments include the story of a deranged illusionist who obtains a magical object of great power, a homemade machine that opens a door to a parallel world, teenage skaters that unwillingly become targets of a Mexican death cult ritual, and a sinister, shadowy organization that is tracking a serial killer. The segments are tied together by the story of a group of fame-obsessed teens following a violent car chase in LA that unwittingly become stars of the next internet sensation.

Seriously, virtually ANYTHING could be happening here. It looked interestingly gory, so we grabbed it. Any guesses?

We’re sorry to say that we are not exactly blown away by the list of directors (though that was one of the better ABCs of Death segments Marcel Sarmiento was responsible for), but Radio SIlence’s final segment in the first V/H/S movie was the one that was a total fucking blast, so who knows? Also, they talk in the press release about “the evolution of the series,” which also makes us nervous. Think you got a pretty good, solid formula here guys, don’t ‘evolve’ it so much the wheels start to come off.

From the ‘Mexican death cult ritual’ segment, maybe?

Hopefully with four segments, they’ll keep things tight. We don’t have an exact release date yet, but we should pretty soon!

I’ve covered this 26-part horror anthology film since July 2012 (I was actually sold the instant I heard the pitch/set-up), and after much frustrating bumping around with the release date, The ABCs of Death will be available On Demand (The latest trailers say “Everywhere On Demand”, but obviously, you’ll need to check with your cable provider) beginning 12:01 AM January 31st, followed by a limited theatrical release on March 8th. After a 6-month wait, you think we’re not waiting up to watch it after midnight Wednesday, the second it shows on the menu?

They did finally release the list of every director, their letter, and the title of their segment. All we’ve known since late last year is Xavier Gens’ “X is For XXL” (supposed to be a huge standout, and gore-off) and of course, “T” contest winner Lee Hardcastle with his Claymation stand-out “T is for Toilet” (you can see it by hitting the link to this piece, some friendly advice. do NOT watch while eating, on hallucinogenics, feeling emotionally unstable, or if you have a rare fear of and/or nightmares about hungry carnivorous toilets).

There’s some of my favorite directors (especially international ones) at the helm here to sweeten the already-great set-up, and the segment titles alone are enough to tip me off that I shouldn’t watch while feeling nauseous. Ready? Here’s the 26! To give an element of surprise, and also because I’ve got a deadline zooming at me head-on, I kept the listing in alphabetical order of the directors, rather than the letters. The movie will be showing them in alphabetical order, though!

Kaare Andrews   — segment “V is for Vagitus”
Angela Bettis    — segment “E is for Exterminate”
Hélène Cattet    — segment “O is for Orgasm”
Ernesto Díaz Espinoza   —   segment “C is for Cycle”
Jason Eisener    — segment “Y Is for Youngbuck”*
Bruno Forzani — segment “O is for Orgasm”
Adrián García Bogliano  — segment “B Is for Bigfoot”
Xavier Gens — segment “X Is for XXL”*
Lee Hardcastle   — Contest Winning segment “T Is for Toilet”*
Noboru Iguchi  — segment “F is for Fart”
Thomas Cappelen Malling  — segment “H is for Hyrdo-Electric Diffusion”
Jorge Michel Grau  — segment “I is for Ingrown”
Anders Morgenthaler    — segment “K is for Klutz”
Yoshihiro Nishimura   — segment “Z is for Zetsumetsu”*
Banjong Pisanthanakun — segment “N is for Nuptials” *
Simon Rumley   — segment “P Is for Pressure”
Marcel Sarmiento   — segment “D Is for Dogfight” *
Jon Schnepp — segment “W is for WTF?”
Srdjan Spasojevic   — segment “R Is for Removed”
Timo Tjahjanto    —   segment “L is for Libido” *
Andrew Traucki — segment “G is for Gravity”
Nacho Vigalondo — segment “A Is for Apocalypse”
Jake West — segment “S is for Speed”
Ti West — segment “M Is for Miscarriage”
Ben Wheatley   — segment “U Is for Unearthed”
Adam Wingard  — segment “Q Is for Quack”*
Yudai Yamaguchi — segment “J is for Jidai-geki” *

We also took the liberty of marking (with an asterisk ) some of the segments that we’ve read consistently –and from several sources– were supposed to be especially impressive stand-outs …with the critics and the crowd’s biggest audience re-actions.

Oh, we’re sure those aren’t the only nine out of twenty-six good ones; these are just the ones that get mentioned the most. I wouldn’t be surprised (especially judging from some of the still photos and titles) if many of the rest are too outrageous or offensive to describe. I believe four minutes is the time limit for each segment, so if there’s a few that you find boring or stupid, you won’t have to wait long until a good one comes up. If even half of them are fun, we’ll be happy. I know there’s a few failed attempts, but with 26 segments and directors like Xavier Gens, Lee Hardcastle, and half the team responsible for the Thai horror classic Shutter (Banjong Pisanthanakun) in there, fine with me.

If you’d rather have as few surprises as possible and know the exact order of the ways to die, here’s the ‘spoiler version’ of the above list. Just high-light to read.

A: Nacho Vigalondo (A for Apocalypse)
B: Adrian Garcia Bogliano (B Is for Bigfoot)
C: Ernesto Diaz Espinoza (C is for Cycle)
D: Marcel Sarmiento (D is for Dogfight)
E: Angela Bettis (E is for Exterminate)
F: Noboru Iguchi (F is for Fart)
G: Andrew Traucki (G is for Gravity)
H: Thomas Malling (H is for Hyrdo-Electric Diffusion)
I: Jorge Michel Grau (I is for Ingrown)
J: Yûdai Yamaguchi (J is for Jidai-geki)
K: Anders Morgenthaler (K is for Klutz)
L: Timo Tjahjanto (L is for Libido)
M: Ti West (M for Miscarriage)
N: Banjong Pisanthanakun (N is for Nuptials)
O: Bruno Forzani, Héléne Cattet (O is for Orgasm)
P: Simon Rumley (P is for Pressure)
Q: Adam Wingard, Simon Barrett (Q for Quack)
R: Srdjan Spasojevic (R is for Removed)
S: Jake West (S is for Speed)
T: Lee Hardcastle (T is for Toilet)^[4]
U: Ben Wheatley (U is for Unearthed)
V: Kaare Andrews (V is for Vagitus)
W: Jon Schnepp (W is for WTF)
X: Xavier Gens (X for XXL)
Y: Jason Eisener (Y for Young Buck)
Z: Yoshihiro Nishimura (Z is for Zetsumetsu)

And there’s PLENTY more information on The ABCs of Death where that came from! Keep your eyes peeled…er, perhaps not the right phrase at the right time. Watch this space. That’s better!

If you want to see the Red Band trailer, it’s in this post here. Check it out!