Oh, it is freakin’ ON! Check out the big red link below to get all excited about The ABCs Of Death 2. Also, looks like we’ll be able to get our review up before the sequel hits theaters (we’re on the review for the original ABCs of Death, promise).
Here’s to hoping they will bring back Xavier Gens (X is for XXL segment), Lee Hardcastle (T is for Toilet) for another awesome, fun, jaw-dropping claymation short, Jason Eisener (‘Y is for Youngbuck’), Timo Tjahjanto (who did the standout short L is for Libido), Jake West* (‘Speed’), Adam Wingard (‘Quack’)and Marcel Sarmiento (“Dogfight”). We could, however, definitely pass on a return engagement for a few, such as Yoshihiro Nishimura and Noboru Iguchi …what a mess those were (and this coming from a Tokyo Gore Police fan.
Awesome additional poster art for the first film.
*and Ti West wore out his welcome completely with one of the laziest entries, “M is for Miscarraige”. In fact, anything that involved a toilet, other than Lee Hardcastle’s short, really, well… stunk. Bathroom (X is for XXL, E is for Exterminate)? Not a problem.
OK! You remember the “26th Director” contest to be included in The ABCs of Death, I hope, sponsored by Drafthouse? You can read my initial article here (which includes the winning short, Lee Hardcastle’s “T is for Toilet”. I changed it up a little bit and instead of doing five per post (4 from the top twenty, then one runner-up) I’m now doling one out at a time- with no runners up. So nine more posts, nine more shorts, and I can actually finish this series before the actual movie is released. I also tried to mix it up and not put all the really dark nasty ones in one list and spread them out.
This is a great one, and I wish I could embed it so you didn’t have to click. Still, I highly recommend this short, titled “T is for Thank You,” directed by Gemma Fleming and Alex Mercado. It’s really too bad they couldn’t do a second movie with, what, 20-25 picks for the letter T? T is for Toilet is genius and deserved to be in the feature film, but that still left a couple dozen that really deserve a wider audience besides the internet.
Click here to check out T is for Thank You, listed on the Alamo Drafthouse Contest Page (where I found and watched every entry, which I realized was over 160 after it was too late because I was through half of them and had already committed). More entries are coming soon!
Let me preface this with a pro-active apology. The temperature is at least in the high 90s here, and I’ve discovered over the years that for each degree over 80, I lose at least ten IQ points. I’ll be polishing it up later, but if you’re reading this before it cooled down here and I had a chance, that’s my excuse for this piece sounding slow-witted and clunky!
Anyway, if you’ve read my blog in the last 30 days or so, you know I’ve been geeking out about this contest since I discovered it. Unfortunately, I missed the voting deadline for the 26th director in The ABCs of Death competition by oh… almost ten months. Shit. So instead, I decided to get in a little over my head by choosing and compiling a list of what I thought were the best twenty, plus five runners-up. The first I heard about the contest, I dove in fast and watched a few of the top entries; the ones I saw first blew me away, and I loved them so much I needed to do a piece on them and get them up for other horror fans to enjoy that night. I already devoted an entire post on the contest winner, Lee Hardcastle’s T is for Toilet, and Michael Foulke’s flawless, fun entry T is for Temptation.
That was when I decided to watch all of them, without counting the entries first, guessing there were approximately 50, 75 TOPS. I had no goddamned idea what I was getting myself into time-wise, but it ended up being worth it. The plan was to select and post/share the best ones, with five runners-up that I thought were very close but still a hair or two away from making the top twenty, yet good enough to deserve a watch and a recommendation. Turned out we’re talking twenty out of over 170, all short films I watched. I only skipped ones that were marked private, locked, or taken down. I think it roughly evened out to one in ten singled out for recognition.
Some really kick-ass ones didn’t even get what I felt was a fair number of views, let alone votes. I did some formatting and pasting and printed out a list of every single entry, got out a pen and paper, and set in. I figured I’d be able to post my picks in a couple of days, but I REALLY misjudged the amount of time to just watch. I did the math after I watched them all, (rather than, say, before I decided whether this would be a good idea and started, because hey, why plan THAT out in advance)? 170 shorts times four minutes is , rounded DOWN, ten hour’s time just to see them all, let alone the time for note-taking, organization, plus re-watching if they lost me halfway in.
Anyway, seems fair to give you an explanation of how I picked what I thought were the best of the best (if you want to just skip to today’s five entries, you can hit “more”). Continue reading →
Wait wait whoa whoa whoa! Give me a chance to explain.
A little over 24 hours ago I discovered a movie that’ll be released in October from Magnet Releasing, called The ABCs of Death. Hold up, is that as sick as I think it sounds? Why YES. I read the description from the twisted but very entertaining, and even addictive, official site for the movie…
Twenty-six directors. Twenty-six ways to die. The ABC’s OF DEATH is perhaps the most ambitious anthology film ever conceived with productions spanning fifteen countries and featuring segments directed by over two dozen of the world’s leading talents in contemporary genre film. Inspired by children’s educational books, the motion picture is composed of twenty-six individual chapters, each helmed by a different director assigned a letter of the alphabet. The directors were then given free rein in choosing a word to create a story involving death.
Provocative, shocking, funny and ultimately confrontational, THE ABC’s OF DEATH is the definitive vision of modern horror diversity. Drafthouse Films, Magnet Pictures and Timpson Films are proud to present this alphabetical arsenal of destruction orchestrated by what Fangoria calls “a stunning roll call of some of the most exciting names in horror across the world.”
They are not fucking around, trust me. The trailer alone was the goriest trailer I’ve seen in over a year. Maybe more, I’ll add it at the end of this post, so you have plenty of warning NOT to watch it if you’re eating something, are easily offended, and can’t stand violent trailers. Even I was saying, out loud, ” Jesus fucking Christ!!” at higher than normal volume for when my husband is trying to get some sleep next to me. I’m surprised my husband slept through my reaction.
Don’t take the adjective ‘disturbing’ lightly! Oh, and several YouTube comments strongly advised “Do not watch if you’re high“. I didn’t feel the slightest urge to test this theory out, but I’m still 100% sure it’s great advice. This is hands down the goriest claymation short I’ve ever seen…
So there’s that. Then I read about their contest for the letter “T”. It was an open call for short horror films lasting less than five minutes, the prize being the short getting to be included in this fucked-up anthology, with plenty of cool directors attached –the winner would be the 26th director. I am really sorry I missed voting on there, even the entries that I thought would be more appropriately titled, “T is for Torture Porn” had good production values, good effects, and it was clear that the directors took pains to craft the best short film they could. I have a dozen or so more entries I’m either going to post or include in a playlist on You Tube. There are a few ones less worth your while than other ones; I’ll try to limit my playlist to the ten best, entertaining, most effective ones (okay, maybe twenty, but no more), not necessarily all of them. If by some miracle I can exercise enough self-control to keep it down to ten, I’ll post ’em here for you to watch.
I also watched maybe… pffffft …15-20 entries in a row, which did not have a beneficial effect on my sleep cycle. I had nightmares not about any of the images in the movie, or the movie itself, and I can only half-remember said nightmares. You may be familiar with those. I do remember it was one of those dreams that was so stressful and/or wretched that I made a deliberate, and successful effort to say, OK, this is horrible, I think I’ll wake up now. Even going without enough sleep I can live with, since it’s better than this God-awful dream. Unless you need to stay awake and can’t find coffee, I recommend NOT watching ten of the contest entries in a row after dark.
You Tube description : Very disturbing, not for children. Humorously creepy clay-mation horror that tells the story of a little boy who is a bit uncomfortable about using the toilet.
Don’t take that disturbing part too lightly! Oh, and “Do not watch if you’re high,” several YouTube comments advised. I didn’t feel the slightest urge to test this theory out, but I’m pretty sure it’s great advice. This is the goriest claymation short I have ever seen. Even though there were DOZENS of entries, at least half of them out-standing, the below short is the one than won the contest call to be included in the movie. I assume the claymation gave them an angle–as well as it should, since it probably took a long, looong time and hard work to create, then execute the concept. I’ll share some of the finest coming up.
OK, you have NOW BEEN WARNED! Plus if this is too gruesome for you, DEFINITELY don’t watch the seriouslyRed Band gore-fest trailer that I’ll post last.
Nasty little twist at the end, too, that really nails it shut!
Here’s the goriest trailer I’ve seen in years. I think the last real jaw-dropper was a trailer for “Summer Massacre,” but I’m not 100% sure that’s an actual feature film that has now been completed. Again, don’t say I didn’t warn you! BEWARE …unless you’re a gore fan, or curious. VERY NSFW!
Well, I warned you! More shorts from the contest entries coming soon!