‘Sons of Anarchy’: Inside Those Emotional Jax, Juice, Nero Scenes

We’ve covered this show before, mostly the pieces in our “Ten F*cked-Up Things That Happen On…” recurring feature. If you want to read them, check out the first one here from 2012. Then Season Five got so horrifying and shocking we made another list just for that season, which you can find here. Both cover a lot of ground, and we try to avoid spoilers in them, but if you plan to watch the show and haven’t yet, just read the original one in which we try not to name names… if you read any. There are others, mostly post-show interviews after really heavy episodes like this one–you can just type in Sons of Anarchy in the SEARCH box at the top of the page–but they are all spoiler-ridden, so proceed with caution. There are some very shocking reveals, and you don’t really want to spoil them for yourself, do you?

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Now, if you DID watch “Suits of Woe,” we think you’ll agree with us: best Sons of Anarchy episode in a long, long time. Jax finally manned up and said every mistake he’d made was on him, Nero got a phone call with possibly the worst news he’s ever received, and two very macho, bad-ass career criminals who have murdered men in cold blood in the course of business (Jax must have a kill-count in the low three figures by this point in the series, and some of those people trusted him) broke down and wept, sobbing openly and loudly while hugging.  Remember again, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED YET! Click “View Original” in the lower left to read the entire piece on EW.com.

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‘Sons of Anarchy’ season finale post-mortem: Burning questions answered

Well, we know what we’re having for nightmares tonight! How about you? Seriously, that was brutal and both of us were genuinely shocked–did NOT see that coming.


‘SOA’ creator Kurt Sutter talks about this week’s shocking death — EXCLUSIVE

It’s been a long time due (many fans say overdue) but we’re still gonna miss seeing Perlman as this character until the Sons of Anarchy series finale in 2014. Speaking of Perlman, you can read the other Entertainment Weekly Online Exclusive interview with the only actor we could ever imagine bringing Clay Morrow to life by clicking here; well worth checking out. Oh, and in case you were wondering, the episode title “Aon Rud Persanta”  is Gaelic for “Nothing personal,” more or less (source: Zack Handlen, The A.V. Club – here’s a link to his excellent review).

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‘Sons of Anarchy’: Ron Perlman talks about this week’s shocker — EXCLUSIVE

EW.com: What’s your fondest memory?
Ron Perlman: I remember the chapel scenes. When I’m sitting on my rocking chair in the old age home and all the other actors are sitting there thinking about great moments in their lives, I’ll be thinking about the chapel scenes with Tig on my right and Jax on my left, me at the head of the table where I’m smoking cigars and we’re making plans, kicking ass and taking names. That’s what I’m gonna remember about the show because that , to me, was quintessential Sons of Anarchy.

Can’t believe they wouldn’t let Ron Perlman take those cool-ass boots from Pacific Rim (Where is my GODDAMNED shoe?!”). Much as we wanted this guy dead–you don’t beat Gemma Teller’s face to a pulp and pass away of natural causes– we were kind of sorry to see him go. Check out the Perlman interview (click the “read more” link above as usual) and the other Entertainment Weekly Exclusive interview with Kurt Sutter for more by clicking here. Oh, and nice practical effects, too. Like Jax said a couple of scenes later: they earned that blood.

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‘Sons of Anarchy’ postmortem: Kurt Sutter and cast talk ‘Wolfsangel’ shockers


Both of us watched the episode tonight, and both of us cursed in shock at least a couple of times. I’d expected to see something bad when Gaalen repeated, “Hands off,” to Jax with a sick smile …but not who the hands came from, that it’d be in the next act, and not that Tom Savini-esque grisly pile of sawed-up body parts. The written message on the pad from Otto to Lee (not going to repeat it here) got a HOAH! out of us, too.  We also were under the impression that Donal Logue was going to be around for at least eight episodes (and in fact, read he was signed on in a news item). Read the article for more info on exactly how and why Lee Toric’s fate changed.


Five F*cked-Up Things That Happen on Sons of Anarchy Season 5 (With A Bonus Of Five More Spoiler-ish Items)

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As of this writing, there’s less three days till the much anticipated Season Six of Sons of Anarchy premieres on Tuesday, September 10th on FX. We’ve been psyched since July! Straight up: Mrs. Horror Boom here (who also wrote “Ten F*cked-Up Things That Happen On Sons of Anarchy” about this time last year)  needs to warn you now that if you’re easily offended, or don’t want any S5 spoilers,  you shouldn’t be reading this.*  Season 5 was consistently entertaining, but also especially disturbing.  REALLY disturbing shit took place on almost every episode, sometimes twice in the same ep. I still recall more things that made me curse out loud (or yell “HOAH!” with varying degrees of volume at the screen) during S5 than in 1, 2, and 3 combined.  Quite a few people die horribly just because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and were probably thinking wait, what the fuck did I do? as a dying thought.

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Guy looks like Jason Vorhees just attacked him with a damn nail gun…

I originally wrote this as a ten-item list (with a bonus five), then stopped when I realized half the items were either A. really, really uncomfortable to put into words, even just documenting them  B. really offensive, even for SOA (I had one in the next-to-last draft, then I chickened out and replaced it at the last minute because there was no way to phrase it without sounding creepy) or  C.  contained spoilers or borderline spoilers. There’s some fans out there who are still waiting for Netflix to get S5 on streaming .*  So I compromised and wrote up five,  then a bonus five that you should probably skip if you’re waiting to see S5. One more warning!  This list is not for the faint of heart or easily offended. Then again, if you watch SOA, you know that the Kurt Sutter-helmed show is not for the faint of heart or easily offended in the first place.

Five Fucked-Up Things That Happen On Sons of Anarchy, Season Five

Note: This first one caused me to wince more than anything else that happened during S5. The prosthetic was waaay too realistic, and the sound effects added in post were really nasty.

1. A man in shackles suddenly and violently bites off his own tongue by slamming his chin down on a table (basically just to emphasize a point). Tongue flops down onto the table, blood everywhere, and while you are still trying to process this…

2.  Crying and laughing at the same time***, the man THEN picks up his severed tongue and hurls it across the room at a one-way glass window (he was giving an official statement), where is sticks- splat– and then slides down, leaving a gruesome trail. Good thing this came right before a commercial break aired …in fact I’m sure it was intentional, so horrified viewers at home could regroup and pay attention to the next scene.  Scroll to the bottom of the article to see it, that is, if you’re not eating or getting ready to eat …and be thankful it’s not in HD. (Note how fast the guy interviewing him scrambles the hell out of the room)

3.  A man beats another man to death by caving in his head with a large glass snowglobe. Not just any snowglobe, a musical snowglobe, and if that’s not Kurt Sutter-esque enough for you, the man deliberately winds it up before he goes to work on the guy’s skull. That way a merry little tinkling tune is playing throughout the murder (the song is nothing identifiable, you think Disney was gonna give them the song rights to “It’s a Small World” for that?). We see blood and bits of brains on the globe after he’s done (with the song still playing).

4.  A man (too long of a backstory to go into here) takes revenge on another man by forcing him watch his own teenage daughter (trapped at the bottom of a metal pit among some recently dismembered cadaver parts) get doused with the contents of a can of gasoline and then set on fire. She screams for her “daddy” to save her throughout being burned alive.  I think they ended up having her body cremated in the next episode; if so, it must have only taken about 10 seconds– tops– since that’s how long and badly she burned.

5. THIS happens: (not much violence, but very, very NSFW)

Say, I could swear I’ve seen that she-male somewhere before… glad they kept it a surprise till the end credits. Hope we get to see Cletus Venus VanDamme again!


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1. The following dialogue takes place between a woman and her mother-in-law (pretty sure anyone who’s watched more than a few episodes can figure out who) and the MIL threatens to have her sent to prison so she never gets to see her kids grow up (another long backstory).

Gemma MIL:  …at least I’d have the satisfaction of knowing you were locked up and getting fist-raped until they’re well into their twenties. (punches the other woman in the stomach, hard). Hope you aren’t pregnant. (leaves)

2.  A pretty big guy leaps from his hospital bed, attacks a petite nurse and smashes her head into a wall, then brutally stabs her in the neck five times with an ornate gold and silver crucifix (which used to belong to his retired porn star wife, who was beaten to death and dumped in a ditch a few seasons ago). So much blood spurts all over him (and the walls) that he looks like a leading lady in some French ‘new extremist’ horror movie about halfway in. The nurse was just minding her own business before he attacked her, by the way.

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3. A man goes to his ex-wife’s apartment, charms her into letting him in to talk, then roughs her up and slams a large hypodermic needle filled with a speedball into her shoulder even as she begs him not to do it (made more horrifying by the fact that she’s a recovered drug addict now working an a rehab center, where they do drug testing).

4.  A  rival gang member (named Diego) being chased by the club on foot sees a woman getting into her SUV, so without looking he yanks her out of the car and shoves her over, then leaps into the driver’s seat to jack the car. Unfortunately (for him), he didn’t see her pet pit bull in the back seat, who immediately attacks him.  Nero (Jimmy Smits plays this upscale bordello owner), turns his back to lean against the door to keep it closed as the guy screams, definitely fighting a losing battle with the dog (he deserved it, trust me). Dialogue between the cheerful Sons at the scene-  Jax: “That shit’s gotta hurt!” (Laughing) Nero: “We should probably let him out.”  Chibs: “That’d be the good Catholic thing to do.” End of scene.

5. The end result can only seen on the S5 Blu-ray “Extended Episode” version:  we see the Sons and Nero sauntering down a busy sidewalk to meet up with a fellow Latino gang that they have a better relationship with. One of them asks what happened to Diego, and someone answers, grinning, “Oh, we gave him a ride out of town.” They step aside from a colorful ‘rocking pony’ (one of the coin-operated mechanical ones that are made for small children to give them a ride when they rock back and forth) they’d all been standing around to reveal a half-conscious, bloodied Diego tied to it. The icing on the cake is that they dressed him in a full-length pink formal gown that looks like the one Gwyneth Paltrow wore to the Oscars that one year when she won Best Actress, except this one has more taffeta and sequins. “Hey man, I think pink’s your color,” one guy tells him while another loads in more quarters.

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Now that I think of it, those last two aren’t that fucked-up, considering that Diego did a bunch of horrible things, including running an illegal dog-fighting operation where the losing dogs got taken out around back and shot, then dumped into big plastic yard-waste disposal-type bins (we see them full of other abused, discarded dogs–the Sons who see this are visibly shaken). Before I saw the “extended scene” that didn’t air on FX, I assumed they let the dog kill him as poetic justice. Plus, Tig rescues one of the dogs and take her back to the clubhouse, adopting her, so the dog is one of the few characters in a happy place by the end of the S5 finale. Let’s hope that whatever mayhem goes down during S6 of SOA—and Kurt Sutter promised/warned us and the press in numerous interviews this would be ‘the bloodiest, deadliest, most brutal season yet’– that at least the dog ends up making it through okay.

Here’s the scene with the …with the …tongue (again, be glad the quality isn’t perfect):

Check out the extra-large Related Articles bit below this piece for more goods –and spoilers, if you want ’em—on Season Six of Sons of Anarchy. The last two articles focus on the very fucked-up (even for SOA) things that transpire on the Season 6 Premiere, “Straw”, including probably the ugliest and most twisted murder-by-drawning scene ever aired on TV (so far). There were probably enough for a ‘fucked-up things that happen in E0601’ piece, but no way am I going there.

Finally, here’s the latest S6 trailer:

*If you’re one of my relatives over age 60 or, actually, even a friend who knows me but doesn’t like to watch anything violent on TV or in movies, please stop reading NOW, especially if you happened to pick this day to finally check out my blog. Come back later this week when I’m writing about Insidious Chapter 2 or something.

**These fans on Netflix are ANGRY (if that was the only way I had to watch the show and had to wait a goddamned year while avoiding spoilers, I would be too).

***We’ve seen the Season 6 premiere since this was posted, and if the character had known what was coming for him– in the cold open for Chrissake– he probably would have just cried. GAH.

The Walking Dead – Unpleasant Surprise : Showrunner Glen Mazzara Leaving At End of Season Three, Goddamnit!

People would still watch this show with a shitty show-runner, but our enthusiasm just dimmed a little. Kudos to Mazzara for handling his exit so gracefully and professionally. We weren’t thrilled about the way Frank Darabont was treated, but we had faith in Mazzara as a show runner after his work on The Shield.

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Guess we’ll have to wait and see –this show has a huge built-in fan base; we’re of the opinion most viewers will watch no matter who the show runner is, but the quality of the show could suffer . Though if for whatever reason, they ever part ways with Greg Nicotero unless it was TOTALLY VOLUNTARY on his part, then I will officially quit watching.  Nicotero is a pretty gracious guy, though, so he’d never say anything, but some inside sources would probably hint around like they did with Darabont, who was also classy about it. The same goes if they treat its creator Robert Kirkman like shit to the point he completely gets so fed up that he has to sever all ties with the show (but I don’t this they’re that stupid-same goes with Nicotero).



At least we have Glen Mazzara for the second half of Season Three of TWD – which picks up where it left off in February 2013. Oh, and if they tried to get creative and kill off Michonne for shock value (she’s been alive for almost a decade in the comics and is still going strong), we’re fucking outta there (and this time we wouldn’t be the only viewers).  It’d take a lot to get rid of that kick-ass sister, though!

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Kurt Sutter Disses AMC For Departing ‘Walking Dead’ Showrunner, Using Words We Cannot Repeat Here

We’re with Sutter and Ryan on this one (yeah, we’re biased, being hardcore fans of The Shield ).

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Not. Cool. Glenn Mazzara made a graceful, professional statement about “parting ways” with The Walking Dead after Season Three ends. Now Kurt Sutter, on the other hand…  the phrase “But tell us how you REALLY feel,” pops up a lot on his message boards/blog.

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Sons Of Anarchy Fifth Season Finale: Kim Coates Talks Tig’s Fate …And More! (Spoilers)

I thought this was a better interview than the Kurt Sutter one, and definitely worth a read. For the record, I’m glad spitting on Charlie Hunnam was unscripted!

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Sons Of Anarchy Creator Kurt Sutter Talks About The Season Five Finale “J’ai Obtenu Cette”(from EW.com)

Here’s that “postmortem” interview with Kurt Sutter. I’m sure I’ll do “Ten MORE Fucked-Up Things That Happen on Sons of Anarchy” in the Fall of 2013 — the moment with the Snow-Globe and the …tongue-off will make it for sure!

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Here’s another link to a post-finale interview with Kim Coates, who I am very glad will live to fight (and take care of the dog he rescued, awww!) for another season. Looking for the EW.com S5 finale recap? It’s right here, baby!

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