This Election Day, Your Old Pal The Crypt Keeper Wants YOU to Vote! Check Out His PSA, Boils and Ghouls!

Now THAT is what I call a STUMP speech, fright fiends!

I just wish this was longer. I can’t get enough of the Crypt Keeper (or Tales From The Crypt, period), I even have several dolls/action figures of him; you pull a string and get a HACK-y pun, followed by his cackles of laughter. That guy nearly DIES laughing at his own jokes. He just SLAYS me! My husband bought me three, I think, in the mid-90s (whenever it was they were really cranking up the merchandising. I need to DIG THEM UP so I can take photos of them to post here. I had them on a shelf in our bedroom before we moved in 2008 As I recall,  I got three because there were different outfits available, one has him looking snazzy in a top hat and tuxedo, and I’m pretty sure the third has him dressed up in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, with a lei around his neck. He might have even been holding a tourist-like camera in one rotting hand. They’re skele-TONS  of fun! At the very least, I should TAKE A STAB at showing off my collection, even if I have to really PICK MY BRAIN to remember where they are.

Tales from the Crypt (radio series)

Tales from the Crypt (radio series). I have this on cassette, but not CD. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve got a boxed set of every Tales From The Crypt comic HOOK, a Tales From the Crypt hardbound COFFIN-table book, and a boxed set collecting all the seasons except the final season. They weren’t exactly KILLING THEMSELVES  getting out quality episodes that last season – including at least one (“The Mask”) that was way, way gorier and more shocking in the comic than the HBO episode on the show. I almost DIED of boredom and the lost potential drove me BATS! I really wanted HEADS TO ROLL for fucking up the story. Other than that, it’s awesome; if you decide to pick them up, keep your EYEBALLS PEELED for the episode that the Crypt-Keeper even does a KILLER commentary! We simply HOWLED  through the whole thing. My husband is so awesome when it comes to gift-giving – now he’s a BETTER HALF to DIE FOR!

I’m totally out of puns, so I should put this piece to bed- a DEATH BED, in fact!* So HEX-ercise your right to vote, kiddies. You’ll be all CHOKED-UP for not casting your ballot if we end up stuck with Mitt ZOMBIE!

Tales from the Crypt (comics)

Tales from the Crypt (comics) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

*God, I’m really bad at this tonight. Good Lord (Choke!)

Name That (Horror) Frame- Week of 11/5/12 – Contest Guidelines Update + Special Presidental Edition

OK, it was going to be an “Election Theme”, but I start to get a panic attack every time I think about it, so I’ll wait. Wednesday I’m either going to be in a really really shitty mood or in a great one, and I’ll hold off on all the actual election, etc. and just stick to stuff that’s more White House related. You’ll be able to figure out the theme pretty fast if you can identify them. I hope to actually post the horror TV show later in the week, and because most of us are in a GOOD mood. After I rented this from Netflix in 2005, I bought not only one but TWO copies, kept one, gave one to my mom, then the next year bought two more, one for a Christmas gift to my friend Dale, the other I ended up giving to Patton Oswalt the first time I met him at a meet-and-greet kind of thing (since I sincerely agree with all his political beliefs, plus he makes them funny. Or did back at the time. OK, beside the point, other than I don’t think I’ve ever given that many copies of the same horror movie to that many people.

So if you can identify the movie… free DVD. I thought I should go over the rules/guidelines of these weekly chances for a free DVD, since only one person even tried for one answer (though I appreciated her doing that) and another recognized and posted the frame from their favorite haunted asylum movie (thanks, Lobotomy Jack)!  Either I’m making them way, way too hard, made the rules sound like a pain in the ass, or the list of movies on DVD I’m giving sounded really uninspiring. Oh, if more than one person guesses correctly, first come first serve. If they guess them right exactly at the same time, then I’ll just, I don’t know, draw their names out of an actual human skull from a severed head to determine the winner (since the chances of two people answering, let alone answering at the exact same time, are about the same as me chopping someone’s head off).

So, here’s the deal, the first one I didn’t knock myself out presenting the guidelines because I was scared multiple people would guess every single one and I’d be scrambling to accommodate everyone. Doesn’t look like a problem, so let me lay this out again…

  • I’ll post three photos per week, some with a connecting theme. In the past some have been, Thai Horror Edition, Creepy Little Kids Edition, Halloween Edition, Jaw-Ripped-Off Edition, Face-Melting Edition, Masters of Horror Edition… one week I even used all of them from the same Thai horror anthology movie and dropped a bunch of hints, which I guess were not as clever as I thought, since either no-one has heard about it or seen it. I mainly do the themes for fun (for both sides) and to try to make it easier. Hint: sometimes I’ll put the title of the film in the “tags” area, especially if it’s in Thai or Korean. A few weeks ago (in the ones that were all from the same Thai horror anthology movie) I put See Prang 2, Phobia 2, 4bia 2, 5bia, and Phobia sequel all in the tags, which is every possible title the movie in question has in Thai and English. I am LEAVING THE CONTEST FOR THE TITLE OF THAT MOVIE OPEN for two more weeks, by the way, and I just gave anyone reading this the answer. HINT!
  • Then put the answers down in the comment/reply section. I keep the “comments” section open for a maximum of 90 days. Sometimes (such as if there is a hit count that shows only one person looked at it on purpose) I spill the answer/s earlier –especially if I’m covering the movie in a piece coming up, or it’s a movie I want to really, really recommend because I know that, even if the movie is hard to find, I can give them the Horror Boom Seal of Approval, by which I mean a movie that I know the majority of horror fans and regular followers of the blog would LOVE and I think it’s underseen/underrated.
  • OK, so say you get all the answers right. If it’s just you who tried and got them, you win a (used, but not beat up) DVD I was thinking of selling, but would rather give it to a fellow fan I know would appreciate them. A breakdown of how I handle that is next:
  • I’ll pay for everything but the cost of postage (though if you live less than an hour’s drive from us, we may just drop it personally in your mailbox).
  • I changed the rule about it only shipping within the US, but if you’re in Canada and want to pay the higher cost of postage it takes to mail out, that’ll work. I’m not going to gouge you on the ship charges to make some extra money. I’ll send them out within the next few (2-3) weeks or so. I just want to give myself some breathing room if I’m sick or have a deadline or family crisis.
  • If you want to pay for more than the cost of ground service, fine with me. Tell me what you want, I’ll find the price (say if you wanted it from UPS D-Day Air) and show you. I’ll even send it with delivery confirmation, or insured, if you want. Takes longer at the post office, but if you want to pay for the extra cost, no problem. I’ll accept the shipping payment (doubt it’s more than a couple bucks to ship by ground service) via Paypal.
  • And here are the DVDs I’m giving away:  The Descent (Director’s cut, the bleaker ending by far), Cabin Fever 2, Hostel 3, Masters of Horror – Pelts,  Jaws (Special Edition DVD), A Korean horror movie called The Wig, An R-Rated version of a The Neighbor  (If that movie’s not torture porn, then I don’t know what is), the very disgusting Bone Sickness,  Event Horizon special edition (I think it’s a two-disc version, but even if not, it’s packed with special features) a VHS-format copy of Suicide Club  (J-Horror), and last but not least, an unrated copy of Adam Green’s Hatchet ! I may add more titles, but that’s all I’m prepared to give away as of this writing,  mainly because I don’t have the energy to pick through my collection right now. You get the pick the movie, though depending on how many people have won already, it might not be your first choice (I will tell you what’s left). Again, it’ll  closes for comments in 90 days, that should give you time.
  • If someone cheats with, I don’t know, an app on your iPhone or something, I’ll be able to tell if you haven’t seen it, or are posing. I always have a little quiz to do that.

Sound good? OK, let’s bring this week’s three on…

First, there’s this…

second, this…

AAAND this to finish up!

That’s a wrap for today! Now tell me how you identified them and get your DVD!