Crypt Keeper « HORROR BOOM

Now THAT is what I call a STUMP speech, fright fiends!

I just wish this was longer. I can’t get enough of the Crypt Keeper (or Tales From The Crypt, period), I even have several dolls/action figures of him; you pull a string and get a HACK-y pun, followed by his cackles of laughter. That guy nearly DIES laughing at his own jokes. He just SLAYS me! My husband bought me three, I think, in the mid-90s (whenever it was they were really cranking up the merchandising. I need to DIG THEM UP so I can take photos of them to post here. I had them on a shelf in our bedroom before we moved in 2008 As I recall, I got three because there were different outfits available, one has him looking snazzy in a top hat and tuxedo, and I’m pretty sure the third has him dressed up in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, with a lei around his neck. He might have even been holding a tourist-like camera in one rotting hand. They’re skele-TONS of fun! At the very least, I should TAKE A STAB at showing off my collection, even if I have to really PICK MY BRAIN to remember where they are.

Tales from the Crypt (radio series). I have this on cassette, but not CD. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve got a boxed set of every Tales From The Crypt comic HOOK, a Tales From the Crypt hardbound COFFIN-table book, and a boxed set collecting all the seasons except the final season. They weren’t exactly KILLING THEMSELVES getting out quality episodes that last season – including at least one (“The Mask”) that was way, way gorier and more shocking in the comic than the HBO episode on the show. I almost DIED of boredom and the lost potential drove me BATS! I really wanted HEADS TO ROLL for fucking up the story. Other than that, it’s awesome; if you decide to pick them up, keep your EYEBALLS PEELED for the episode that the Crypt-Keeper even does a KILLER commentary! We simply HOWLED through the whole thing. My husband is so awesome when it comes to gift-giving – now he’s a BETTER HALF to DIE FOR!

I’m totally out of puns, so I should put this piece to bed- a DEATH BED, in fact!* So HEX-ercise your right to vote, kiddies. You’ll be all CHOKED-UP for not casting your ballot if we end up stuck with Mitt ZOMBIE!