You’re All Gonna Laugh at The Editing Room’s Parody of The “Carrie” (2013) Remake!

From the hilarious Abridged Script by by Chris W.:

CHLOË is dressed in FARM CLOTHES and taken to the PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE.

PRINCIPAL
Chloë, we must call your mother and tell her about your Aunt Flo.

CHLOË GRACE MORETZ
NO!!!!!
(uses telekinesis to break shit)

PRINCIPAL
Let’s all ignore the fact shit just broke all by itself.

CHLOË goes home and some TWERP ON A BIKE harasses her, so she uses TELEKINESIS to knock him off.

TWERP ON A BIKE
Let’s all pretend that didn’t just happen, and that anyone who saw the original Carrie isn’t having a severe fucking case of déjà vu.

Wow, this makes us both REALLY happy that we decided to wait for the DVD (A decision based on our gut feelings and Ryan from Rhino Horror.com’s probably spot-on review –-he knows what he’s talking about and seems to have pretty close to the same taste in horror that we do).

The parody is hilarious, the excerpt above doesn’t do it justice. So click below to read…

Carrie (2013): The Abridged Script | The Editing Room.

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Film Review: ‘Carrie’

Sounds like they did the best they could… but the original is a very, very tough act to follow.

First Teaser Trailer for the 2013 Carrie Remake Starring Chloe Moretz and Julianne Moore Is Here – Bloody Hell!

When I first heard about this project, it sounded like a terrible idea to me. Why mess with one of the most perfect Stephen King film adaptations–hell, one of the most perfect horror films, period*–ever made? To this day, the 1976 original holds up. Not only does it still hold up, it’s one of those movies that is just as powerful and deeply frightening with every re-watch (that’d be probably close to fifty times for me over the last three-plus decades) and I’ve only seen it on TV.  I’d love to see it on the big screen, and if I do, I can all but guarantee I will scream at  the top of my lungs in panic at the end, even though I am 100% sure exactly how, where, and when that hand will burst up through the stones covering the grave and grab Sue Stern’s wrist in her nightmare.

The more I heard, though, the less stupid it sounded, especially when I saw the two photos of Chloë Grace Moretz in the title role and Julianne Moore as Mrs. White (Carrie’s scary religious nutcase mother). Then I finally got to see this– one of the best teasers I’ve seen in years for a horror movie. Here it is in HD, if you haven’t seen it yet, and if you have, it’s worth another look!

I had read they were going to stay closer to the novel than the original, and so far so good, since in the novel Carrie ended up destroying the entire town, she was so enraged. Hundreds of dead and injured; most fire-related. Carrie also uses her powers to unscrew all the fire hydrants she can so there’s less water to put the fires out. Here’s the official PR to go with the teaser trailer:

The official teaser trailer for ‘Carrie’ (2013) starring Chloë Grace Moretz as Carrie in an adaptation of Stephen King’s original novel ‘Carrie’. Official description: A sheltered high school girl unleashes her newly developed telekinetic powers after she is pushed too far by her peers.

OK, that’s a huge fucking understatement, but fine. Now I see what all the buzz is about, so far I see no reason not to trust director Kimberly Peirce, and I’ll be following the coverage pretty closely and sharing it here! Here’s a link to the official URL,  WhatHappenedToCarrie.com. Plus, since the American Horror Story Asylum premiere, I’ve had the haunting Pino Donaggio score to the Brian De Palma original stuck in my head…

*no pun intended. Really.

“There’s something no-one seems to understand. She wasn’t some …monster, she was …just a girl.”