(Clap Clap) The Editing Room Finally Takes On “The Conjuring”!

HAYLEY MCFARLAND

Daddy, we found a hidden door to a creepy dark cellar.

RON LIVINGSTON

Okay, get me our flashlight.
(pause)
Wait, get me some matches instead. A flashlight might set my hands or the house on fire and won’t provide nearly as much light as good strong matches.

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Hee hee! I remember actually blurting out, No, you idiot! under my breath (well, mostly) when that moment came up in the theater. So, the bad news is I get the feeling that Ian S., the writer of the Abridged Script for The Conjuring not only doesn’t really care for horror movies, but got bored during this one and took a snooze or two in the middle. The good news is that it’s hard to be irritated at a script this funny.

Click on the bottle of holy water below (or this link, if the holy water doesn’t work because the Bathsheba demon is back and is way too strong) and read The Editing Room’s parody of our favorite horror movie of the summer, The Conjuring!

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The Conjuring And Its True Story

“Perron’s description of Bathsheba is where things really start getting creepy because she describes the spirit’s face as having almost no real features. Instead, it looked like a lifeless beehive with vermin crawling all over it. “Its head was leaning off to one side. It was round and gray, resembling a desiccated hornet’s nest. I couldn’t see anything underneath it… no eyes or mouth…it looked like the cobwebs hanging in the corners of the cellar.” This, as described by her mother.”

Jesus! I’d just sleep in my fucking car until we could find another house to live in… parked a couple counties away. Anyway, read this article for more disturbing details about the real-life case –also known as the Harrisville Haunting, or The Perrone House Haunting, that inspired upcoming nightmare put to celluloid, The Conjuring (opening on July 19th… NOT SOON ENOUGH FOR US! There’s lots of great video with interviews from the real-life Perrone family included in the piece… recommended while you wait for the movie to arrive.

James Wan’s latest foray into the haunted house genre leads him straight into The Conjuring, a film “based on a true story” about a family that was terrorized by demonic entities in which ghost hunters Ed and Lorraine Warren were called upon to investigate. Many movies are based on some truth, and when it comes to something as terrifying as The Conjuring, then naturally we want to dig deeper into the events that inspired them.

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