Ten Really Dark Things We Learned From American Horror Story Episode Seven, “Dark Cousins” (Spoilers!)

She likes it here. We like it.

 

1. Sister Mary Eunice— the meek one who begged Sister Jude to use a bigger cane on her as she cried hysterically— is still in there somewhere. When Conroy’s Angel of Death confronted her, she said she knew what Sister Mary Demon was (“cousin… like me, but fallen”) and that someone inside her had been calling her, singing  to her, for help, Old School Sister Mary Eunice broke free for a moment and weeping, begged the Angel to release her.  “O Heavenly Host… will you release me? Can you release me?”  When the demon came back to take over (“Shut up, you stupid SOW!”) that Dark Angel backed off, but told her, “We’ll meet again”.  [Side note: every time Frances Conroy‘s Dark Angel unfurled her expansive, beautiful black wings (FWOOOOP) I actually gasped, the sight was so cool and breathtaking. ]

2. In one of many clever twists and reveals of the night, we discover Sister Jude did not, in fact, kill the little girl fifteen years ago in the hit-and-run. We did NOT see that coming (even though in the minutes leading up to the reveal, Missy’s mother seemed pretty cheerful for someone who’d lost a child, especially to an unsolved homicide). Mary Eunice knew Sister Jude didn’t kill her, but she knew Sister Jude thought  she did, which was enough to start torturing her (more on that later) and playing on her guilt. Notice that in Jude’s memories, and even in the newspaper headlines, no-one ever said the girl had been killed; just the victim of a hit-and-run, but it NEVER occurred to us that she might have survived. Missy having survived was a relief, since Sister Jude was clearly planning to confess to her parents and then take her own life (probably with that straight razor). “We get to live with our daughter. The monster who left her there, has to live with himself,” Missy’s mother told her at the end of the scene.  Sister Jude seemed a little more freaked out than relieved, but that’s understandable.

Shall I kiss you, and make this all go away?

 

3. However, we also learned that there’s still plenty of tragedy left in Sister Jude’s past.  For instance, we find that she tried to kill herself before. Her awful shitbird of a fiancée… well, let’s hear it in Sister Judy Martin’s own words:

When Casey left me the night before the wedding, when I told him he’d given me syphilis and  I’d never be able to have children…  I forgave him …and he called me a liar and a whore. All I ever wanted was my own family, my own children to teach and love…

Yes, THE NIGHT BEFORE THEIR WEDDING,  just to put the icing on the goddamn cake.  If I’d been in her shoes at that moment, I might have looked into alcoholism too, if not a suicide attempt.

Poor thing. Maybe we should call Briarcliff. At least they could give her a bed for the night.

 

4.  Sister Mary Eunice is still going out of her way to mind-fuck Sister Jude at every opportunity. Not only does she send fatal shards of the broken mirror into Mr. Goodman’s neck (though it doesn’t kill him right away, and looks very painful), she writes “Murderer” in blood on the TV and tapes up the Search for Missing Girl Continues headline to the TV over it for Jude to discover. Then (after a flashback)  she calls Sister Jude. “This is your conscience speaking… That man dead on the floor, he was investigating you. ” She then tells sister Jude she left her a bottle of Kentucky Bourbon and “something else” for her, which turns out to be a straight razor. For a minute we see her slicing or wrists open (vertically) with the razor, then lying on the floor in a vast pool of her own blood …then we see Sister Jude was (phew) just picturing herself going through with it.

“I hope this clarifies the chain of command, Arthur.” Most satisfying line of the night!

5. I love your work… Bloody Face,  the Jeb-demon told Dr. Thredson during the exorcism. Since that same demon then jumped into Sister Mary Eunice, she knows Dr. Thredson is Bloody Face, just to make sure Lana is really screwed. OK, let’s back up a bit.

I’m going to crawl out of my own skin if I have to lay on that bed again.

 

6. When we first saw Lana this episode (SIGH), Dr. Thredson had gone from crying with happiness and curling up to ‘breast-feed’ with his new Mommy surrogate and moved on to raping her.  Lana had gone limp and it was clear her mind was floating away;  she already looked dead behind the eyes. It was no surprise the Angel of Death showed up, since they’d established she had to be summoned by someone ready to die. We still don’t know (or I  don’t) who wrote the ancient Aramaic symbol (her spoken name was given in the closed captions as “Shachath”) on the wall in blood to summon her in the first place —Miles said he didn’t.  Dr. Thredson said it was time to end it.

Peace is so close, Sister…

 

7.  Lana realized she wasn’t ready to die yet, and attacked Dr. T with all she had—the hypodermic, the chain around her ankle, fists, feet, gravity, and miraculously made it own of his basement alive. But we horror fans know that the first time you escape from a maniac’s captivity and run like hell, the car that you flag down or stops for you is not going to contain a friend. Rather than have the man whose car she leaps into be working with Bloody Face and take her right back to him (as we at Horror Boom were expecting), he blew his brains out, the car crashed, and Lana ended up in Briarcliff, seriously banged up …under Sister Mary Eunice’s care. Absolutely did not see that coming – any of it.

8. We learned that Dr. Arden has it in him to actually cure a sick patient (the traditional way, too, not his own fucked-up version of what he sees as a cure). I thought Grace was going to bleed out and die, since the infirmary at Briarcliff seems rudimentary at best, (not to mention any visit from the Dark Angel is a big hint), but even though it was for his own selfish reasons (he didn’t sterilize her, but no-one’s going to believe that, and he says she’s going to live, “if only to set the record straight”), he actually treats her (in a tradition way) and it works.  The last thing I expected was to see her sitting in the kitchen, looking and sounding healthy and like her regular self again. The surprises kept coming, though…

I’m here to help… if that’s what you want.

 

9. Escape from police custody seemed pretty easy for Kit once he set his mind to it, but of course, it didn’t work out for long. He made the (well-meaning) mistake to return to Briarcliff for Grace. Unfortunately for everyone, he went in through the death chute, where a very ravenous, energetic Rasper (remember, as the winter gets colder, they’ve been getting hungrier and less shy about staying back in the woods, keeping to themselves) slipped (or lunged) in behind him, unnoticed. It looked like the really aggressive, fast one that sent Lana, Kit, and Grace sprinting back into Briarcliff the evening of their very brief escape in Episode Three, “Nor’Easter”.

10. Speaking of brief, Grace and Kit were re-united. Grace happened to be in the kitchen when Kit snuck in, and told her he was taking her out of there.  Their faces light up —nice to see any likeable (human) characters look truly happy this episode– and they embrace. “I couldn’t let you die here, Grace,” he tells her, and hand in hand, the happy couple head for the exit. Well, this is great  news!Finally, what a relief, to know there’s hope for escape, and for Grace to back up his story that Alma is alive! Glad something is working out for someone on this show! What happens next, happens fast. The returning nun working the kitchen promptly runs into them on the way out, and immediately screams for help …a split second before the rasper jumps her, tears her throat out with his teeth and hurls her across the room.  Kit thinks fast, grabs some deadly weapon I couldn’t make out, stabs it into the rasper hard enough that its weird innards spill to the floor, Frank bursts in and sees this (including Kit with a weapon and a dead nun) then raises his gun to shoot—a split second before Grace leaps in front and catches the bullet meant for him. As Grace lies on the floor gasping, the Angel of Death comes for her, and this time, gives her that kiss to escape from Briarcliff for good.

Dark Angel: Are you ready for me?
Grace: Yes…  I’m free.

 

  • When the Angel of Death said she’d see Sister Mary Eunice again, she wasn’t kidding. Ryan Murphy confirmed Frances Conroy will return (yay!)  Read more in his EW.com exclusive interview, which went live right after the episode aired, here (with lots of other juicy information).
  • So they let people who are unmedicated enough to hear voices in their head (“they get real loud sometimes,” Miles says) work in the kitchen with every single sharp object imaginable, including a meat-slicing saw with no safety mechanism?  I’m still on the lookout for the name of the actor who played poor Miles, by the way.
  • After Dr. Thredson raped her Lana for God knows how long, he has the nerve to ask, “You decent?” before coming down later to talk to her.  Yeah, sure wouldn’t to intrude and, you know, invade her privacy or anything.
  • Frank the guard? Still decent. He did his best to comfort the miserable Miles. As far as the sad ending (I actually got a little choked up) the order on Kit, according to Frank, was “to shoot on sight.” He had to move fast, and there was a dead nun and a dead rasper there, what was he supposed to think? He didn’t have time. I’m sure he’s not going to be able to easily brush off killing an innocent –OK, relatively  innocent bystander, who had just made a miraculous recovery from the brink of death, either.
  • When the nuns in the infirmary find Grace on her cot with what looks like more blood outside her body than in, one nun/nurse asks the other, “Should we call Dr. Arden?” She responds, “That  butcher? He’s the one that did this to her!” in an alarmed hush. Looks like despite that miracle cure, Dr. Arden isn’t fooling many of the nuns on staff. They don’t know the half of the “butcher” part, but they know he’s the last doctor to trust a life to… especially a woman’s life.
  • In the guest star department, that was Bob from That “70s Show” (minus his 70s ‘fro and leisure suits, of course) as Kit’s wrong place, wrong time court-appointed defense lawyer. Handsome Sean Patrick Flannery, who only looked to us about 5 years older than he did in Cruel Intentions  (1999) played Terry, Judy Martin’s band-mate who came to tell her regretfully they’d finally had to replace her. Insane woman-hating driver who picked up Lana?  William Mapother, who most viewers probably recognized from Lost, but we obsessive Ju-On  fans remember him as Matthew from the 2004 Ghost House-produced version of The Grudge  (he was scary in that, too).
 “Legend has it that once you were committed to Briarcliff, you never got out.” –from the first five minutes of the Season Premiere

 

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American Horror Story Asylum’s Sarah Paulson Says Life Will Get Even More Terrifying and Nightmarish For Lana Winters!!

…according to Sarah Paulson, who plays lesbian reporter turned Briarcliff patient Lana Winters, “It’s so only just begun. What happens in the first few episodes is like eating a bowl of ice cream compared to what happens to her.”

Source: The Huffington Post Online  ©Jaimie Etkin, 2012.

Here are some juicy tidbits from an interview with Sarah Paulson (who plays Lana Winters) dated 11/07/2012 (in other words, the night episode 4, “I Am Anne Frank” aired).  Here she discusses Evan Peter’s junk, whether episodes are hard on her health, how much worse and blood-curdling it gets for hapless Lana, and that as of this writing, they’ve just wrapped Episode 8, ready to shoot #9 or 13. POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT BEGINS (highlight to read): In a recent interview with Chloe Sevigny, she stated she has wrapped for the season and hasn’t read any of the scripts past episode six. So, it may very well be that our poor Shelley will only survive till the end of episode 6. I wish she’d stick around longer …mainly because I would love to see her give some payback to Dr. Evil Nazi Prick – and up close and personal. I do know that another character who is on their way to becoming a fan favorite will get revenge for her this season, though!

(END SPOILER)

American Horror Story Asylum Sarah Paulson
“…given what I know happens and what we’ve shot, it’s so only just begun and it’s so horrifying that what happens in the first few episodes is like eating a bowl of ice cream compared to what happens to her.”

If you’ve been watching “American Horror Story: Asylum,” chances are … you’ve been scared shitless. But, according to Sarah Paulson, who plays lesbian reporter turned Briarcliff patient Lana Winters, “It’s so only just begun. What happens in the first few episodes is like eating a bowl of ice cream compared to what happens to her.”

On the series’ fourth episode (Wed., Nov. 7 at 10 p.m. ET on FX), things take a turn for Lana, Paulson told HuffPost TV. Even Chloë Sevigny, who played Shelley on “Asylum”, told us, “What happens to Sarah Paulson’s character [later on] is what’s scariest to me.”

Below, Paulson, who also recurred on Season 1 of “American Horror Story,” explains why “Asylum” is far more terrifying than its predecessor, upcoming guest stars, how the show can make an impact in terms of gay rights (even though it’s set 50 years in the past) and what it’s like being flashed by Evan Peters, which made her and Jessica Lange burst into laughter. Seriously.

Will Lana find out about Wendy’s murder?
[Laughs.] I can’t answer that yet because that doesn’t happen until much later … in Episode 5.

I was kind of looking forward to Lana being out in the non-Briarcliff world for a while. Were you surprised she was committed so early on in the season?
Well, I feel like in true Ryan Murphy form, it’s going to be an assault, not a slow burn. The show to me — even the style in which it’s edited — is very in your face. I feel to draw it out would have been antithetical to the way he does things. I think now that she’s in there, what happens to her is so insane and so extreme that if we waited a few episodes to get her in there, all this stuff wouldn’t have happened. I can understand why a viewer would think, “Wow. That was quick!” But at the same time, I sort of feel like, given what’s coming for Lana and what happens — we’re about to shoot Episode 9 — given what I know happens and what we’ve shot, it’s so only just begun and it’s so horrifying that what happens in the first few episodes is like eating a bowl of ice cream compared to what happens to her.

Q: I‘m officially terrified now.
A:  Yeah. You should be. [Laughs.] It’s just really terrifying, I have to say.

Does Lana’s lack of friendships affect her mental state in the asylum?
…Lana Winters is a fighter so she’s not going to go down without a fight, that’s for sure. Boy, I wish I could tell you everything. [Laughs.]

“American Horror Story” alumni Frances Conroy and Dylan McDermott are all also coming back to guest star this season. Have you done scenes with either of them yet?
Um, I don’t know if I’m allowed to answer that question. Dylan, no and I’m going to plead to fifth on the other one.

There was an interview with Evan Peters on Vulture and he said he flashed you and Jessica on the first day of shooting “Asylum.”
… Yeah, but listen, there are worse things to look at than Evan Peters from behind, I gotta say. I mean, Jessica and I blew a couple takes, we were laughing so hard because we just looked at each other and thought, “What the hell are we doing?!” We’re looking at these bare asses of these people and I’m handing her canes from the closet. [Laughs.] At one point, we were completely off camera — the camera was just pointing at Lizzie and Evan and we just literally could not get through the scene we were laughing so hard.

Well, now I’m scared to watch.
You should be. We can talk again after Episode 8 or 9 and you’ll be like, “Um. OK. Now I understand. OH MY GOD!”

Jaimie Etkin
©Jaimie Etkin, 2012.

jaimie.etkin@huffingtonpost.com

I don’t even want to know… but I can’t look away! Image taken from the preview for “I Am Anne Frank, Part Two” airing November 14th.

25 Of The Best, Most Twisted Quotes From American Horror Story Season One

Charles Montgomery: She seemed so sad. I’ve decided to give her a smile that will last forever…

 

   Constance: Don’t make me kill you again.

 

Many of the show’s greatest lines came from Jessica Lange, Denis O’Hare, Evan Peters and Zach Quinto’s characters on American Horror Story (Season One, AKA “The Murder House“). I tried finding a more diverse sampling, but if you’ve seen the show, you’ll understand. I also left a few out that were major spoilers. I purposely called this piece “25 OF the best, most twisted quotes”, rather than “THE 25 best, most twisted quotes”, because all twelve episodes contained at least five kick-ass, twisted lines. The majority of them had ten or more. It’d be a two or three (long) days of work to get them all, and probably an equal number of days to decide the top ten best. So instead, here’s a sampling of some of the best!

Left to right: Tate Langdon (crouched under table), his multi-award-winning mother Constance Langdon, her daughter Adelaide Langdon (peeking out) Young Moira, Larry Harvey (on fire), Moira (scrubbing), Violet Harmon (the Harmon’s only daughter), her father Ben Harmon, and her mother Vivien Harmon.

There’s also several (you’ll know them when you see them) that were so nasty and/or profanity-filled, I was shocked that FX let them stay in the episode. During the pilot episode, a character used the word ‘c*cksucker’ three times in one line of dialogue  (without the asterisk), to describe HIS MOTHER  — and made it clear he meant it literally, not just as a profanity (I couldn’t find the exact line anywhere at the time of writing, or it would have been on the list). I wonder now if that was something the writers tossed in there to either see how much they could get away with, or to distract them from something they were really worried might get cut, so they could agree to remove c*cksucker (which I swear to God, I didn’t even hear them ever get away with on VERY gritty shows also on FX  like The Shield or on Sons of Anarchy (yet, anyway). Apparently Ryan Murphy was pretty surprised too, saying they hadn’t gotten a single ‘note’ from FX. Actually, considering what they got away with on Murphy’s previous show, the non-supernatural but equally twisted Nip/Tuck (there’s an article coming on that —advertisers actually pulled out after a couple of  really nasty, gruesome scenes in the last two seasons, after the show sadly jumped its tracks), it’s not THAT shocking. I suppose it’s a matter of perspective, not being easily offended —and a fun, sick sense of humor.

Doesn’t mean I don’t find several of these quotes–especially all the ones involving Elizabeth Short, AKA the Black Dahlia –deeply frightening. Then again, that case always scared the shit out of me, since the day I leafed through a bookstore copy of Hollywood Babylon  in the early 80s and saw photos of the crime scene –when I was WAY too young. I have no such excuse for reading Elroy’s blood-curdling, sickening, shocking novel The Black Dahlia back in the mid-90s, though parts of it actually made me physically sick (no-one who recommended the novel warned me about the Mexico scenes, among other sickening, disturbing details) also based on and around the crime. Too late!

Adelaide: You’re going to die in there.
Troy: Shut your mouth or we’re gonna kick your ass!
Bryan: We got bats.
(They almost immediately get their throats ripped open and die in there)

 

Patrick: Maybe you should have taken a few minutes to get to know me before you shoved a fireplace poker up my ass.

 

Larry Harvey: I’m trying very hard not to judge you.
Ben  Me?  You murdered your entire family!
Larry : Yes, but I was never unfaithful.

 

Chad: Put your skanky claw on that crib, you’ll be pulling back a bloody stump.

 

 

Constance: (gives Moira silverware] Do me a favor and polish this up before I take it, won’t you? It’s cruddy with corrosion, and do you know why? Because you are shitty maid.

 

Tate:  I prepare for the noble war. I’m calm; I know the secret. I know what’s coming, and I know no one can stop me, including myself. I kill people I like. Some of them beg for their life. I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel anything. It’s a filthy world we live in. It’s a filthy goddamn helpless world, and honestly, I feel like I am helping to take them away from the shit and the piss and the vomit that run through the street. I am helping to take them somewhere clean and kind. The world is a filthy place; It’s a filthy goddamn horror show. There’s so much pain, you know? There’s so much… There is something about all that blood; I drown in it. The Indians believed that blood holds all the bad spirits, and once a month in ceremonies they would cut themselves to let the spirits go free. Now, there is something smart about that, very smart. I like that.  (beat)  You think I’m crazy?

Larry Harvey: Gimme my treat! You don’t want the trick!

 

Violet Harmon: And the worst thing is my mom had like this brutal miscarriage a year earlier. We had to have this macabre funeral. Have you ever seen a baby coffin before?

Hayden: You know what I could go for? A nice, big, fat, juicy… [gets hit directly in the face with a shovel)

Travis: (to Larry): Maybe you could snag me some news clippings? Just… little articles about me? I’m thinking about starting a scrapbook.

Constance: And soon after came the mongoloid, and of course, I couldn’t work after that…

Elizabeth Short: That’s how they found me – naked, on display for the whole world to see.
Hayden: You were the front page news of every paper for two months.
Elizabeth Short: I really did become somebody…

 

Violet: You got any Ramones? Like ‘Animal Boy‘ or’ Too Tough to Die’?

 

Constance Langdon: Now, who wants to say grace?
Tate: Thank you for the salty pig meat we are about to eat, along with the rest of the rest of the indigestible swill. And thank you for our new charade of a family. My father ran away when I was only six, and if I had known any better I would have joined him. And, also because she’s been trying to get back into this house ever since she lost it, Lord, a big thank you for blinding the asshole that’s doing my mother so he can’t see what everybody knows: that she doesn’t really love him.
Adelaide: Amen!

Billie: Her husband murdered her with an ice pick.
Constance: It’s hard to keep good help.

Miguel: Oh God, I’m dreaming…
Elizabeth Short:  (suddenly looks right at him) You’re wide awake.

 

Constance: From blood and pain come perfection.
Hadley: Hey, bitches. Did you get all that slime off my baby yet?

Constance: Don’t make me kill you again.

Dr. Curran: What have you done?
Charles Montgomery: I’ve bisected her body, removed the intestines and drained her blood.
Dr. Curran: Why?
Charles Montgomery: A writer writes, a surgeon cuts. I think you will find these pieces more portable.
Dr. Curran: What are you doing now?
Charles Montgomery: She seemed so sad. I’ve decided to give her a smile that will last forever…


Tour Guide: The Montgomery murder-suicide was only the first of many to occur behind these bloody walls.
Marcy: Let’s not put that on the listing.

 

Constance: I also remember, every time I see that ghostly eye, that I was – and continue to be – a hell of a shot.

 

 

Vivien : If you are about to diagnose me with Post-traumatic Shock Syndrome, I’m going to bash your goddamn face in!

 

Violet (to her father, Ben): How is it that a big fancy shrink hasn’t noticed that his wife has totally lost her shit? You’re a cheater: Young girls, old ladies with feather dusters! You’re so weird and pathetic I’m surprised you’re not after me!

 

 

Moira: Haven’t you read “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman?
Vivien: No.
Moira: Her husband, a doctor, locks her away in the upstairs bedroom to recuperate from a slight hysterical tendency. Staring at the yellow wallpaper day after day, she begins to hallucinate that there are women trapped in the pattern… Half mad, she scrapes off the wallpaper to set the women free. When her husband finally unlocks the door he finds her circling the room, touching the wallpaper, whispering “I finally got out of here.”

 

Moira: I’ll get the shovel, you get the bleach.

For some reason, that last line by Moira holds sentimental value for me. Maybe it’s because I was already more or less blown away by the show, but that line, from Frances Conroy’s character, delivered as calmly  as Ruth Fisher announcing to Nate Jr. and David what she had decided to cook for dinner that night when they asked, was the moment I knew I’d basically become American Horror Story’s bitch rabid, devoted fan. Oh American Horror Story,  you had me at I‘ll get the shovel, you get the bleach.  Let’s be bestest friends for the rest of the series, AHS!  I may just get organized enough to review each week’s episode next season, but I’m not promising (anything could happen between now and then). I promise to TRY, though. Lots more coverage is coming and will continue, for Season One and  the season advertised below! Less than ten days away at the time of this writing, woooo-hooo!

Counting down the days till the Season Two premiere, how about you?