American Horror Story Freak Show: How Would You Rate It? Take Our Poll, We Wanna Know!

Well, now that the dust has settled after the season finale of American Horror Story Freak Show, hopefully you can look back and put it into perspective with the rest of the series: Murder House, Asylum, and Coven. You can tell us how you rank it in with all the other seasons, plus we’ve put it some other possibilities (that we’ve heard more than one person say). We would ask you to mainly base your rating on pure entertainment value, but also take into account whether you’d want to re-watch, and… oh hell, just base it on whatever you want. It’s your choice.

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We have grimly resigned ourselves to the fact that nothing will ever top Asylum, but we’re still willing to watch. Also, Asylum would be really, really hard to top anyway.

 

If the many answers start to confuse you (seriously, we started to get confused writing them) just write your own answer (such as: “I liked Asylum best, then Freak Show, then Murder House, then Coven least” or “Freak Show is a tie with Murder House, which I thought was better than Coven but not as amazing as Asylum”); whatever you want.

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Before you decide that Freak Show really wasn't any improvement over Coven, watch the Coven Finale again.

Before you decide that Freak Show really wasn’t any improvement over Coven, watch the Coven Finale again.

We rank Murder House over Freak Show because Murder House, especially this episode, gave us nightmares and Freak Show did not.

We rank Murder House over Freak Show because Murder House, especially this episode, gave us nightmares and Freak Show did not.

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Ten Killer Things We Learned From American Horror Story Freak Show Episode 12 “Show Stoppers” (SPOILERS)

Note: we realize this is not exactly the ideal timing to post, since the finale has aired before this went up, but the delay is due to major technical difficulties over here (such as the goddamned images refusing to load for–no exaggeration– the first time ever since we began Horror Boom in 2012). Pardon us posting at this late date, but better late than never. We loved this episode.

 

 

Now this is more like it!  Episode 12, “Show Stoppers” lived up to the title. The A.V. Club really hated the episode, but plenty of people online disagreed (the IMDB rating average for the episode was 9/10, from 7,000 votes as of this writing), and it was our second-favorite episode of the season so far, surpassed only by Pepper’s swan song, “Orphans”. This was definitely the best (and most satisfying) cold open of the season, too.  Which brings us to number one…

 

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1. If you’re going to get greedy and scam a close-knit group of circus sideshow performers, which includes killing at least one of them, see Todd Browning’s Freaks first. That way, when you’re sitting down to an elaborate dinner with them where you are clearly outnumbered, and they start to make pointed references to how brilliant and perfect a movie it is while staring you down, you can say “Oops! I’ll be back in a jiffy, I just remembered I forgot something in my car,”  slip out quickly and quietly, get in your car, put the pedal to the metal and get the hell out of dodge.  Stanley didn’t see the movie and had no idea what was coming until they brought him a festive-looking yet suspiciously large gift box which featured a jar containing the severed head of someone who illicitly paid large sums of money to him for the bodies/body parts.

 

Darling, don’t spoil the ending for him!

 

2. Reasoning with a gang of justifiably enraged and bloodthirsty people you screwed over will not work. Lying (especially playing dumb) will not work. I wonder, if Stanley had any idea what was coming (see above), if he could have made a run for it as soon as he saw the head of the shitty museum curator and sprinted off to his car at top speed,  he would have had a chance to escape? It would have been better timing than waiting to run until after he got stabbed in the leg so brutally that he could just sort of lunge and stumble out of the tent and start slipping around in the mud. All through the episode–except when I was distracted by something I could not look away from– I was hoping they’d follow the whole Freaks homage all the way through. More on that later.

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3. The freaks will turn on you pretty quickly if you lie to them, no matter what you’ve done for them in the past. While they have drinks in Ethel’s memory and look through her possessions (a little late for that, but fine) they can’t help but focus on what Stanley had blurted out to them while wildly bargaining for escape. “She… killed… Ethel. I’m telling the truth. She killed her.  I helped her cover it up. She’s not who you think she is! She killed Ethel!”  After Paul mentions that he knew Ethel a long time, and she would never kill herself,” they briefly mull it over and come to a somewhat spontaneous decision to kill Elsa for ‘breaking their code’–killing one of their own. Del didn’t count, that was justice for Ma Petite.

Relax, folks, it’s just a magic show!  I can put her back together… watch…

 

4. Jimmy also does not forgive easily. In fact, he tells Elsa and Maggie flat out: “I don’t forgive.” He’s not kidding No matter how sweetly Maggie tries to tell him she will make it up to him, and how they still have a future together, and blah-de-blah (she does seem torn up over what happened to him and her part in it), he doesn’t budge. Can you really blame him? Jimmy tells her she can rot in hell for all he cares and ends up telling her, “If I was you, I’d get the hell out of dodge before I get these new hands.” Later, when Amazon Eve informs him Maggie is dead, his facial expression barely changes. Maybe it was just one too many pieces of really, really bad news and he went numb and dead inside… but we doubt it.

 

You saw what they did to him.

 

6.  Désirée is maybe one notch up from Marie Laveau when it comes to holding a grudge (Marie wins as she becomes immortal and continues to hold a grudge and punish her enemies for over 100 years) . Désirée is still pretty cold when it comes to outsiders, though. She (and all the rest of the freaks) only seem dismayed a bit to see Maggie sawed in half by the new owner of the Freak Show, whose head was ‘full of bees’ after coming back from the war. Paul: “What do we do now?” Desi: “She had it coming.  Steal her jewelry and bury the bitch.”  She was heading up the posse to go get Elsa for killing Ethel, even though as far as I can recall she had known both of them the same amount of time. We loved the scene of them preparing in the caravan;  Desi calling “ETHEL!” to the heavens, draining the remainder of a bottle of booze as the freaks went into kind of a rhythmic stomp, then her smashing the bottle for a makeshift weapon and declaring, “Let’s get our girl some justice!”

You tried to kill my dreams, but they cannot be murdered.

 

7.  Bette and Dot still felt they owed Elsa something, and ended up saving her life by bursting into Elsa’s glamorous tent to warn her of the freak’s “Planning to kill you all day.” Though she more or less waited until the last minute to warn her, she ignored the discovery that Elsa had partially amputated legs and cut to the chase (“You need to leave,” was what she led with). When Elsa tried to protest that what Stanley said were the rantings of a desperate man, Bette (I think) replied, “Who’s desperate now? You saw what they did to him,” and we see the color drain from Elsa’s face.

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8. We find out what they did to “him”, Stanley, in the second-to-last scene of the episode. When Dandy, the new owner of the entire place (eeeeek!)  thanks to Elsa hastily paying him off so she could make a hasty retreat, was strolling grandly around the performance tent after being snotty to all his new employees, he heard a kind of inhuman grunting coming from the wings. He wandered over and there was a slow pan to the contents of a chicken-wire cage. Stanley’s arms and legs had been crudely amputated (along with his tongue, apparently), and he looked like he was hoping someone would just kill him as he squirmed around wretchedly and painfully, covered in feathers, wearing one of Meep’s old hats (nice touch). Dandy unsurprisingly got a big kick out of this discovery.

 

Now the other, don’t rush it this time.

 

9. In an episode full of great reveals, we were blown the hell away when it turned out none other than “Dr.” Hans Gruper, AKA Dr. Arden from American Horror Story Asylum, was the one in charge of making the snuff/torture-porn film where Elsa’s legs were sawed off with a chainsaw. Since it was a flashback, James Cromwell’s son John (who looks just like a younger version of his father) made a return appearance to portray him.  Elsa was lucky they just sawed her legs off and didn’t inject her with about 5 different horrible diseases at once, then later, drag her off and leave her in a child’s playground. Guess Gruper/Arden was just getting warmed up… though when Massimo Dolcefino (Danny Huston) went to kill Gruper to avenge the “Monster In-Chief’s” savage treatment of Elsa, Dr. Gruper was, very unfortunately, ready for him. “He took it personally when I tried to kill him… very personally,” says Massimo as we see flashback shots of Gruper electrocuting his genitals (though I think most people would take someone breaking into their home for the purpose of murdering them personally). Gruper tortured Massimo so long and so brutally that Massimo says though his body healed, his spirit was so broken that he no longer has a soul and has lost the ability to love. Elsa is in tears by the time Massimo has filled in his missing backstory.

10. Speaking of Massimo, who lovingly made such beautiful legs for Elsa and nursed her back to health, he is more than happy to use his expertise to fashion a perfect pair of hands for Jimmy that will fool everybody… and when Jimmy scoffs at him, Elsa shows him her wooden legs, and he shuts up pretty fast.  Massimo has an elaborate blueprint drawn up and everything, but in the final reveal of the episode, we see that Jimmy requested they look like his former “lobster-boy” hands when he could have had the next-best thing to normally formed human hands. Jimmy wanted to be himself. “They’re perfect,” he quietly tells Massimo.

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Jamie Brewer as Chester’s hallucination of Majorie, her best acting on American Horror Story yet.

 

Stray Thoughts:

  • People were talking about the top hat (clue to season 5) on the dinner table during the cold open, but did you see that bizarre bird that was the centerpiece? I swear it had two heads. If you can, watch the scene again. There were four… limbs, for lack of a better word, sticking up, and usually a normal turkey/goose/pheasant, or whatever type of bird you serve up whole only has two. I wonder how many other cool creations for the prop/set dressing department for this season we missed because they were in the background?
  • I’m pretty sure there were more limbs hacked off this season than any other season of American Horror Story, which is no small feat.
  • Paul was the only one who seemed upset over Maggie getting sawed in half, yelling “WHAT THE BLOODY ‘ELL!” when the blood started flowing. The rest of the gang just looked mildly dismayed. We sure as shit didn’t hear, “What have you done to Maggie?” or even “poor Maggie!” from anyone. From what I’ve read online, people either loved this scene (like us) or hated it (sigh), but everyone loved Desiree’s heartless, but hilarious reaction.
  • I could write an entire piece on the genius of the magic-trick-gone-horribly-wrong scene, but I’ll try to shorten my reaction here. Everything in that scene was goddamned gold, from Chester’s costume changing when the lights went down and came back up, to the silhouette of him sawing furiously as we hear Maggie’s screams. Also, due to Neil Patrick Harris performance, I felt sorrier for Chester than I did Maggie. He didn’t kill for the fun of it (like, say, Dandy) or because someone was in his way when he wanted something (like, say, Dandy); he was a soldier who came back from the war “with a metal plate and a head full of bees,” as his hallucination of Lucy says. When he realized what he had done to Maggie, he was horrified (more than the freaks were, that’s for sure). He was upset enough to stab the shit out of “Margorie” when she tried to leave him right afterwards.
  • The magic rehearsal scene had caused me to momentarily forget about  Stanley. However, as soon as Dandy got distracted by the strange noises coming from backstage, I started chanting, “C’mon, c’mon, please, please,…”  and then burst out with “YEAH!” at the sight of at the cage made of chicken wire as I realized that my season-long wish to see someone–especially Stanley–get the Todd Browning Chicken Lady Treatment had come true.
  • The twins turned out not to be as much of a simpleton (or should that be plural? Wording can get complicated when writing about Bette and Dot) as we thought. Exhibit A: they were smart enough not to get in that fucking box.

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American Horror Story: We’ve Got Titles and Episode Summaries for The Final Two Episodes (SPOILERS!)

Man, this season went too fast. The pacing has been a little, what’s a nice way to put this …uneven; some episodes nothing really happened except maybe Elsa being bitchier than usual and others went zipping around all over the place. We’ve still enjoying it much more than Coven, and the recent episode “Orphans” did more for us than the entire third season. Freak Show hasn’t actively pissed us off yet with plot holes and lazy writing, it’s just made us realize chances are that anything coming up in the last two episodes of this season and future seasons will never be as scary as Asylum and even Murder House (hey, one episode–“Smouldering Children”– gave me nightmares, and the “Infantata” scenes actively frightened me). I still hold out a tiny bit of hope, though. What with the new character being introduced, we wish they’d caught up sooner, or had a few more episodes to wrap up, because we love spending time with these characters, in this beautiful setting, with these amazing actors.

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Here are the titles, if you want to read something that is spoiler-free and then stop…

Episode 12, airing next Wednesday January 14th, is titled “Show Stoppers”. Uh-oh.

Episode 13, the finale, is Titled “Curtain Call,” and airs on January 21st.

Ok, here comes the spoiler section. It won’t ruin everything, but it’s also not too hard to fill in some blanks that are probably supposed to be surprises.

SPOILERS FOLLOW!

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Show Stoppers:
Dandy gives the Twins troubling information about Chester. Maggie vows to prove her loyalty to Jimmy. The Freaks enforce their harsh code of justice. (yeah!)

Curtain Call:

The Freaks rebel against new management. Dandy prepares for his début performance. Elsa arrives in Tinseltown.
Our speculations are as follows…

The “troubling information” Dandy gives the Twins about Chester will be that he is completely batshit, and probably that he murdered his wife and her lover, but is convinced the doll /dummy did it. There is a theory being tossed around online that Chester is actually the dummy (“Nutcracker!”) and she is real, which is interesting but would seem impossibly given the other character’s interactions with him. Maggie will probably prove her love to Jimmy by telling him everything that Stanley has done, and her role in it. The freaks enforcing their harsh code of justice? Stanley’s freakishly large penis will end up in a jar in the Morbidity Museum, and not attached to him. We still have hope that he will get the Todd Browning Chicken Lady treatment, or at least die very slowly, painfully, and gruesomely. Though we would really love it if Stanley got his dick chopped off, sold, then was mutilated to the point where he is turned into some kind of horrible monstrosity (with his tongue cut out, too) that ends up being a new “act” that patrons of the Freak Show will pay to see.
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Freak Justice, Todd Browning-style.

We also think Danny Huston will be back as the doctor who carefully crafted and made Elsa her gorgeous wooden legs, and that he’ll make new hands for Jimmy. Not sure how well they’ll function, but at least they’ll appear to be hands. Maybe he’ll be the one to take care of Stanley.
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As far as the finale? It looks like what Pepper (as above) saw on the cover of LIFE magazine in 1960 (I think that was the year) was not some kind of dream, and Elsa actually gets the career she has lusted after most of her life. It’ll be a lonely life for her, though. Chester won’t be the new management, since he’s not in the finale. That leaves Dandy.  No-one likes him. Hopefully Maggie will remember his voice, or someone will put something together in time for him to get his before the show ends. His big début? Now that’s going to be something pretty grisly… and we hope, unexpected. Also, Dandy needs to die horribly. Oh yeah, Ryan Murphy also promised us we’d see Twisty again, though we have no idea how he’d fit in.

Let’s also keep our fingers crossed for a 90-minute finale!
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TVline’s Performer of the Week: Sarah Paulson As The Tattler Twins on AHS Freak Show

We definitely agree… though Michael Chiklis and Finn Whitrock were pretty impressive in the “Tupperware Party Massacre” episode, they still didn’t have to deal with the intricacies of playing two different character’s heads stuck on one body, talking to each other. Ms. Paulson does it again!

“Click on “View original” on the lower left to read the entire piece.

TVLine

A weekly feature in which we spotlight shining stars

THE PERFORMER |Sarah Paulson

THE SHOW|American Horror Story: Freak Show

THE EPISODE | “Tupperware Party Massacre”

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Next Week’s American Horror Story Freak Show Episode Has An Entertaining New Title

This week’s upcoming episode, 4X09,  was previously titled, “The Fat Lady Sings”. Some time during the two-week hiatus, it got retitled…

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Tupperware Party Massacre!

 

Which sounds pretty damn great.  If we could, we would have used a font that appeared to drip blood for the snappy new title! Supposedly, it has a really high body count (as you can tell from the preview, and the title), and is definitely at least as bloody.

"Honey, I'm home! How did the Tupperware party goooOOOOOAAAHHHHHH!"

Honey, I’m home! How did the Tupperware party goooOOOOOAAAHHHHHH!

The title is kind of a spoiler; then again, you have a pretty good idea that something along these lines is going to happen from the preview. Dandy seems to take it up a notch with every episode. If he does what it looks like he did with his mother’s body in the preview,  it’s going to be pretty horrifying.

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Ten Disturbing Things We Learned From American Horror Story Freak Show Episode Five, “Pink Cupcakes” (Spoilers)

For some reason, we found “Pink Cupcakes” (which have never before sounded so unappetizing) to be the first real episode this season that really ...bothered us. Not that we found vicious killer clowns (who friends of ours understandably referred to as “Stabby the Clown”) with no lower jaw (due to a tragic backstory) cheerful or anything, and Twisty’s whole storyline had a perfect payoff. We don’t have a pathological fear of clowns, but he was pretty threatening.  So I could have started writing these “Ten Things” pieces as usual,  right after the premiere, but there weren’t any big plot or character reveals (okay, Elsa’s legs were a surprise) that Ryan Murphy hadn’t already either hinted at or flat-out told us about in the media, or that we hadn’t more or less figured out.  We hated Dandy by the time the second episode he appeared in ended, and it was kind of obvious he wasn’t going to be a benevolent character.  Last Wednesday, though, we got some good reveals, and for the first time, we exclaimed out loud in surprise, and really, really were disturbed by a murder enough to also curse loudly. So let’s get on with the show. One, two …three.

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1.  Del is a closeted gay. Well, of course he would have to be closeted even if he wasn’t a manly circus strongman for a living; as a gay man outed in a small town in 1952 you would almost certainly end up on the receiving end of a vicious blanket party, set on fire, or be the victim of another hate crime (or have your life ruined in some other way) if you were not closeted. That’s why we were genuinely surprised to see him at a gay bar, and more than that, desperately, hopelessly infatuated (and even professing his love) with guest star Matt Bomer, playing a smoking hot young man named Andy who turns tricks and hustles for a living. He basically referred to the bar as his office. It was hinted at before that Del was not 100% heterosexual, though you had to pay attention to pick up on it. Well, being married to a woman with a male member next to the female one was kind of a red flag, but it could be argued that if a man had an opportunity to be with a hot, gorgeous woman with three perfect breasts, he might be willing to overlook the male member.

2. …or what appears to be a male member. Turns out Désirée is all woman. Well, maybe even more than all woman, since she has three breasts and a clitoris large enough to be mistaken for a penis. When she’s hammered and lonely and turns to Jimmy to “make her feel something”, they both panic when his hand comes away from between her legs covered in blood and Ethel takes her to see the kindly, compassionate Dr. Bonham from “Edward Mordrake Part One”.  He’s got some news for her: what she (and a doctor in her past) thought was a penis turned out to be a (very) oversized clitoris. It’s (figuratively) connected to her extra breast. He gives some medical explanation about her body producing a really, really high amount of estrogen because it was trying to compensate–it didn’t sound completely medically legit to us, but we will suspend our disbelief.  He tells her surgery can give her normal-sized lady parts (we liked how removing the “accessory” breast wasn’t even alluded to as an option when doing surgery–hey, let’s not get crazy here!).

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3. Désirée was also pregnant, and was bleeding so badly because she was having a miscarriage. The doctor tells her that she can even try again and having a child is a distinct possibility for her (though she should probably hurry because her biological clock is ticking). We see surprise, then wonder, then hope in her eyes as this sinks in. “I can have a baby with Del,” she murmurs. But, she damn sure has a change of heart before long, because…

 

 Why are you still moving? You’re supposed to be dead!

 

 

4.  By the time Del finds her, she’s packed a suitcase to movie into Ethel’s trailer.  Del is desperate to get her to stay, and we half expected him to hit her or shake her or some other form of domestic abuse, but guess he knew better.  She tells him she was pregnant, he says, “A baby… great!” half-heartedly, and then it escalates very quickly.  Turns out she knows Jimmy is his son.  She keeps telling him that he is the one with freak blood in him, not her, but all their years together he made her feel like she was such a freak of nature that she didn’t deserve anyone better than him …or a better life.  She wants to have a kid, but not his. To add to Del’s despair, remember that this is taking place after Andy pretty much broke his heart, telling him Del he was delusional if he thought they would ever have any kind of relationship, or even contact, without having to pay like ever other trick. After telling him she was leaving him for a real man who deserved to be with her (and she tells Del what he calls her “big dick” is going to be surgically corrected by Dr. Bonham), Désirée leaves him standing there,  with Del clearly about to have some kind of meltdown. Towards the end of the episode, Del pays a personal visit to Dr. Bonham and breaks his fingers, possibly his hands too. Then, just in case the doctor didn’t get the message, Del threatens to snap his grandchildren’s fingers “like twigs.”  Soooooo, that surgery won’t be happening.

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5.  Stanley has an extremely creepy fantasy life. All of his lovely daydreams we saw underscored how vile a man he really is. His grandiose dream of Paul’s body floating in a tank before an awed crowd of horrible rich people was unsettling. The horrifying shot of the Tatler Twins torso floating in the glass display tank–and especially the fact that Bette’s head was dead and rotting probably days before he finally smothered Dot, who was begging him for help (and begging Bette to wake up) –was disturbing as hell. So was Stanley’s casual explanation to the museum owner he sold the body to when she asked how they “expired”: “The droopy one caught a cold and died first.”

Please …kill me. Please, kill me?

 

6.  Elsa is getting desperate. She practically spits on the floor when Stanley tries to entice her with the idea of her own television show, but then when the entire crowd (not into anachronistic performances of songs, no matter how good they are) turns on her, we see her hopes burning to the ground. When Stanley comes by after the disastrous show, and she says to him wearily, “Tell me about zis… television,” we can see her fighting back tears. Once again, Jessica Lange’s performance on AHS breaks our hearts. She doesn’t get really scary until she sees Stanley driving away without her, Bette and Dot in the back seat. Her next move is to talk to the twins and tell them she wants to help their and look after them since they’re new to the business and Elsa is not. We didn’t expect, though, that she would drive them straight to the Mott residence in the guise of taking them in for a wardrobe fitting. “I have brought you something I believe you want,” she starts out to Gloria right before the episode ends. To be fair, I don’t think she would have taken them there if Elsa knew Gloria’s son was a blood-thirsty, homicidal sociopath. She probably just wanted them out of the way, maybe even only temporarily. How could THAT go wrong?

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7. Maggie is having second thoughts. First she tells Stanley she did not agree to be involved with murder. Later, when she surprises Jimmy rehearsing, she pretends to read his palm and gives him a not-too-subtle fortune: something bad is coming for him, and he needs to get the hell out of there fast. She seems to be attracted to him, but still won’t let him kiss her. Hopefully she will end up ratting Stanley out more directly, and the freaks will end up cutting his throat and stabbing him (all together) about 70 times and then burning the body, the way they did with the police detective.

 

Jack the Ripper was a Windsor, for God’s sake.

 

8. Dandy’s mother Gloria is more batshit crazy–and darker–than we thought. At the very least, a sociopath. She’s mad at Dandy for killing Dora (“She was a mother!” is her first horrified reaction),but is pretty casual (and clever) about the way they dispose of the body. “These are special bulbs from Holland. Please do not question me!” she shrills at the men hired to dig a twelve-foot hole ( actually for Dora’s body). Oh, and we find out that Dandy’s father also had homicidal “urges”,  due to inbreeding (according to Gloria). One day he ended up “swinging lifeless from a Japanese Maple” because he couldn’t stand struggling with his urges any more and “suppressed them the only way he could” (also according to Gloria).  She tells Dandy he has to be careful who he kills, since it’s 1952 and they might have relatives who come looking for their missing family member; instead it needs to be people no-one will miss. The scene of them finishing up the bulbs planted over Dora’s corpse ends with on a disturbing note, with Gloria quietly telling her son, “we’ll figure something out.”

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9.  Jimmy is a local hero, though when Maggie points this out to him, he says, “Right now, I want to throw up.” Turns out Jimmy still feels terrible about poor Meep (though I bet the local chicken population is feeling better) being beaten to death in prison and then dumped in a sack on their doorstep.  In the scene where Jimmy and Désirée are drowning their sorrows in her trailer, he loses it and weeps, “it shoulda been me.” Interesting trivia: Ben Woolf, the actor who played Meep, also portrayed the Infantata, arguably the most frightening character from AHS Season One, AKA Murder House.

There’s nothing worse than the hurt of loving someone you can’t have.

 

10.  Dandy, unsurprisingly the new big bad (well, next to Stanley, who is also deadly but mainly just a greedy, scheming piece of shit looking for a big payday) is clearly just getting started. Either he or his mother decided a gay bar would be a good place to find a victim (we also loved the very serious MAN WANTED poster with an ‘artist’s sketch’ of a clown mask that Dandy passes). When Del leaves, crushed, Dandy zeroes in on Andy, and pays him a hundred dollars to come back to the Abandoned School Bus of Murder with him, and of course, things get really disturbing.  The fact that Andy turned out not to be dead even after Dandy stabbed him brutally over a dozen times in the torso AND sawed one of his arms off was the first thing this season that really caused us to feel deep horror.

 

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Stray Thoughts:

 

  • Gabourey Sidibe will be back as Regina Ross, Dora’s daughter in New York.  We loved the “Mrs. Mott, I’m feeling really uncomfortable, so I’m going to go now” line of hers when she was on the phone with Gloria, who was starting to ramble about raising Dandy. We doubt she’s going to stick around more than a couple of episodes, though it would be nice if she ended up beating Dandy to death. That was also a great reveal when Gloria hung up the phone and the split-screen disappeared to show Dandy, standing in his underwear, covered with Andy’s blood.
Motion pictures are the expression of our souls, our inner dreams, our fantasies.

 

  • We knew the Bette and Dot torso in the giant fish tank was a fantasy, but did anyone else worry at first that poor Paul the Illustrated Seal was really floating in the formaldehyde and that the rest of the episode might be the flashbacks to how he ended up in there? We were unsure, but did let out a big sigh of relief when we realized what the writers had done. Everyone should probably worry about his place in the new knife throwing act, though…
  • I had a good laugh at the way Dandy at first tried to act innocent when his mother screamed because she found Dora dead with her throat cut. “Somebody’s broke into our home and murdered Dora!”  he proclaims unconvincingly. Meanwhile, his mother, who immediately figured out that he did it , starts yelling at him about having to clean up his messes almost the second he rushes into the room. That smirk he got after he turned his back and walked away from Gloria to go to his room was chilling, as was his practicing ‘acting faces’ in the mirror.
  • That was an amazing monologue written for Del talking about the pain he goes through and how he is only strong on the outside, and Michael Chiklis knocked it out of the fucking park. It was obvious Del knew how desperate he sounded, begging Andy to let him get him a nice apartment with a record player and good light so he could sketch, to only be with him because he loves him so much, but the words kept flooding out as if he was trying to purge himself of something he’d wanted to tell another human being all his life. Give him a couple more scenes like that and Chiklis might just earn himself an Emmy nomination for Best Supporting Actor. For the record, a month has passed since Del and Désirée arrived in Jupiter.
  • Look around that ‘Morbid Museum’ in the scenes where Stanley is talking to the owner about the twins. There is some seriously disturbing stuff in there (and once again, we are 99.9% sure it was inspired by the real-life Mutter museum*). There are at least two Elephant Man-like skulls, and some really horrible things in jars.
  • I got a huge grin on my face when Jimmy referred to the pinhead duo as Salty and Pepper to the crowd after their act, which seemed to include a drum kit, a large mallet, and slapstick humor. “Salty and Pepper, Ladies and Gents!” We love it.
  • Boy, that crowd REALLY turned on Elsa fast. Guess they are not Bowie fans. Speaking of Bowie– great song choice to use of “Fame” in the montage of her getting ready to go have “publicity photos” taken (that ends with her hope being crushed).  The self-satisfied smirk on Stanley’s face when he saw Elsa unravelling onstage made me want to break his neck …and I’m a huge fan of Denis O’Hare, so I have always taken his side before no matter how much of a rotten prick his character is –until that moment. Hopefully Stanley and Dandy will both get an even more horrible variation of the notorious Todd Browning “chicken lady”  treatment.

Next episode, “Bullseye,” the freaks–including Ethel– seem to be turning on Elsa too. Check out the preview (again) below!

 

*Which I hope to visit some day, then sometimes during dark, sleepless nights question the decision of putting a visit to that house of horrors on my bucket list.

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Possibly the most breathtaking still of the set yet.

American Horror Story Freak Show – We Have Upcoming Episode Titles and Descriptions (AKA SPOILERS) Here!

We’re going to do this like we did our last feature (click here to read it) that relayed the new editions to the IMDB episode guide for Freak Show. We’ll give you episode titles first (there are more titles than descriptions) as they sound cool but do not contain spoilers, then the descriptions. Sounds like some nasty stuff is coming down the line for Del and Désirée; we just hope they don’t get killed off because we love watching Michel Chiklis and Angela Bassett in the roles so much!

First, some fun, NON-SPOILER titles for you:

“Pink Cupcakes” airs November 5th.

“Bullseye” airs November 12th.

“Test of Strength” airs November 19th.

“Blood Bath” (YES! Bring it!) airs November 26th, just in time for Thanksgiving!

“The Fat Lady Sings” (uh-oh) airs December 10th.

Then we’ll have the usual holiday break, and the final three episodes will air in January 2015. Hey, slow down…

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NOW COME THE SPOILERS!

 

We don’t find out who lives or dies or anything REALLY extreme like that, but it is easy to fit most of the puzzle pieces together (especially when combined with Ryan Murphy’s interviews where he always manages to slip in a few spoilers– accidentally– into his “teasers”.  Maybe he has a couple of glasses of wine before the post-mortem interviews with EW.com; he sounds pretty relaxed and casual. Or maybe he’s just so excited about the great stuff to come that he can’t help himself; in fact, we don’t blame him. If you missed the post-mortems for Edward Mordrake Part One and Edward Mordrake Part Two, check them out here; there’s some juicy stuff.

OK, strap in and keep your arms and legs inside the ride-car at all times.

Pink Cupcakes:

Stanley and Maggie hatch a plan to murder the Freaks. Gloria hides the evidence of Dandy’s gruesome new hobby. A health scare reveals Désirée may not be the oddity she once thought.

Bullseye:

Elsa reveals a dangerous new act. Stanley exerts pressure on Maggie to murder Jimmy. Paul indulges in a secret romance.

Test of Strength:

The women of the Freak Show rally against Dell after his latest act of violence. A strange encounter with Dandy raises Jimmy’s suspicion about the clown murders.

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So here’s some speculation: from the previews for this week’s episode, we saw either Maggie or “Tripod” Stanley not-so-subtly injecting some kind of fluid into a pink cupcake with a huge syringe. We’re guessing some 50s version of roofies. Later in the preview we see them preparing a HUGE tray/steel container with some kind of liquid… over here we’re thinking formaldehyde. We also see Bette and Dot (well, one of them, anyway) biting into said cupcake. Of course, Murphy is not going to kill off Sarah Paulson’s character/s less than halfway through the season any more than she’s going to kill off Jessica Lange.

Stanley and Maggie hatch a plan to murder the Freaks. However, during the “this season on American Horror Story Freak Show” preview that came after the premiere, we beheld something terrible: a shot of Ma Petite inside a large glass specimen jar that her hands could not reach the top of to pull herself out. Then it got worse as they briefly showed the jar being filled with some kind of fluid chemical while air bubbles come out of the poor girl’s mouth. We really hope this is either a dream/nightmare sequence or someone saves her and then kills that rotten prick Stanley.

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A health scare reveals Désirée may not be the oddity she once thought. We are not sure how that’s going to work. It’s a health scare: could she be throwing up in the mornings and feeling faint, then turn out to be pregnant? Is her penis going to fall off, or shrink severely? Does she not have a vagina? Is that third breast going to have to come off? Her being pregnant would make her seem like less of a hermaphrodite, but that is still an oddity. The wording also suggests her “oddities” are not some kind of scam being pulled by her and Del, not that she has some make-up effects expert to put a third prosthetic breast on every morning.

Elsa reveals a dangerous new act. From the episode title being Bullseye, we are thinking of a knife-throwing act, possibly with Del being the thrower. It’ll spin around with someone Elsa doesn’t like strapped to the target. How could THIS possibly go wrong?

Stanley exerts pressure on Maggie to murder Jimmy.  So Jimmy is, fortunately, still alive at this point. Also, If he’s having to pressure Maggie, it’s because she’s not as shitty of a person as Stanley is; she has feelings for Jimmy and by this point will probably be getting along with the freaks. We doubt she will follow through, but maybe they murder someone else as a consolation prize and this is where the scene with Ma Petite mentioned earlier comes in.

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Paul indulges in a secret romance. Maybe we’ll get hints in the previous episodes, but we have no idea what current character could be involved. The contortionist? He was in that porno home movie, but since FX only lets AHS get away with so much, we couldn’t tell if he was with a man or a woman. I seem to remember someone’s head in his lap, but I could very well be wrong. Is he gay or bisexual?  Because that doubles the amount of characters it could be. Matt Bomer’s character, we think, is gone by then; it could be another guest star.

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The women of the Freak Show rally against Dell after his latest act of violence. His LATEST one? He does seem to be a mean drunk. Also, though they gave him a little humanity (not much, but a tiny hint of it) in Edward Mordrake Part One, it doesn’t sound like he’s going to be a nice guy, deep down. Not to mention, he sold tickets for an audience to watch a young Esther give birth to Jimmy, which is pretty horrible. She was outdoors and didn’t even get to lie down, and there weren’t exactly any OB-GYNs around to help her stay comfortable and safe. This will be ugly, but unfortunately for him, he’s out-numbered.

A strange encounter with Dandy raises Jimmy’s suspicion about the clown murders. You’d think Jimmy would already have seen some big red flags by now and figured it out, but I guess he’s too busy with his complicated romance with Maggie and the Twins.

Once again, here is the link to the latest post-mortem and our list of ten highlights from it.Screen shot 2014-11-04 at 7.51.57 AM Meanwhile, feel free to add your own speculations!

 

 

American Horror Story Freak Show – Ten Things We Learned From Post-Halloween Interview With Ryan Murphy (Source: EW.com)

We’ll put a link to the original post-Halloween episodes post-mortem, because there is much more than can fit here. Ryan Murphy spilled some secrets, as well as teases, for the upcoming episodes to Tim Stack at EW.com. There are juicy enough to make an ordered list from instead of reblogging the interview, which you can read here on EW.com. A couple are surprises, so proceed with caution. We put #10 on the “Spoiler -A-Rama” page because, well, it’s a spoiler that RM probably should not have spilled. But for now…

SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT READ IF YOU DID NOT SEE LAST WEEK’S AHS FREAKSHOW! BIG SPOILER ALERt!

 

1. There will be a “Love Quadrangle” involving Jimmy Darling, The Tattler Twins, ad Maggie (Emma Roberts). The twins LOVE Jimmy, but he loves Maggie. Meanwhile, you’ll never guess–and have to read the full interview– for the name of the fourth person, who is in love with the twins.

2. Elsa may have a minor love interest/sex buddy here and there, but according to RM, “this season, her main love interest is her career.”

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3. Matt Bomer appears in episode 5, “Pink Cupcakes”… the next episode. We saw a photo of his character, who has a serious rockabilly look.

4. RM says that the scene with Matt Bomer is the “most disturbing thing on American Horror Show” they’ve ever done Yes, RM is aware he says this every season, sometimes more than once. He says it is disturbing because “it’s so real and based on fact” and also calls it a “gothic, weird sequence”. Your guess is as good as ours…

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5. That close-up of a coffee cup with a top hat on it (that is, painted on it, the cup isn’t wearing the top hot) is, according to RM, a hint towards next season. He also admits some of the fan speculation about this clue is “completely right on”. We’re calling it… Monopoly!

6. In this week’s episode, we also find out who made Else’s pretty (prosthetic) legs for her.

7. Gloria is going to find out about Dandy’s murderous path. In the upcoming episode, we see her struggling with being the parent of a sociopath. She will try to save him, but also do right by the law (yeah, good luck with that). RM says that next episode, she will DISCUSS inbreeding’s place in wealthy society. Let’s hope it sticks to discussion only.

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8. Now here is when it gets confusing, but very interesting. RM says all the seasons are connected. Season 4 is now connected to the same fictional world as Asylum with the return of Lily Rabe as Sister Eunice.

9. AND, we will find out how Season three interconnects with Season One.  Wait, WHAT? We really hope RM pulls this off.

10. You’ll have to click here to go to the page that exclusively lists spoilers to find out what secret  #10 is! Here’s a hint…

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Source: EW.com Ryan Murphy interview with Tim Stack.

 

 

 

 

American Horror Story Freak Show: Watch Jessica Lange’s Full Performance of Bowie’s ‘Life on Mars’ (EW.com Exclusive)

This was one of the highlights of the premiere for us, and it gave us goosebumps when she hit the “Sailors fighting in the dance-halls” chorus . Not in the way watching horror usually makes our hairs stand up (like, say, the reveal at the end of Shutter does, even after repeated viewings), but because it was so beautiful. If David Bowie has gotten around to seeing it yet, we bet he loved it.

Click here for our highlights of the postmortem interview with Ryan Murphy that EW.com ran after the premiere (and much more).

Note: Click on “View original” in the lower left to go to the EW.com piece, which has the clip embedded. It’s worth the extra click, trust us.

American Horror Story Freak Show Opening Credits Are Here, You Won’t BELIEVE What FX Let Them Get Away With!

Let’s just get this out of the way, and clear out the easily offended. We see conjoined skeleton twins masturbating. Not once, mind you, but TWICE. One shares a head, the other shares a body and has two heads (Sarah Paulson had an ‘insight’ on what this may be hinting at, but we’ll get to that later).

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Okay, so Ryan Murphy has said that S4 of American Horror Story will have a “very different look.” We couldn’t really see a difference in the PR photos or the long trailer that debuted Tuesday night (more on that later, we are seriously having trouble keeping up with the new promos/media) on Sons Of Anarchy.Screen shot 2014-10-02 at 7.54.02 AM

 

You can sure as hell see it here. Nothing is really hinted at as in the first three (we liked all three, and consider the Coven title credits to end up being scarier than the season itself). We have stop-motion animation (or CGI set up to look like stop-motion)!  Everything is bright and colorful and sometimes in-your-face.. So far only tiny snippets–fast ones– of the opening credits of Murder House and Asylum were in color, and it looked washed out. Coven was all black and white. OK, watch the credits to Freak Show in HD right here, and then we’ll point out a few things. If you are scared of clowns, AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE (then again, I doubt anyone with a clown phobia will have anything to do with this season).

These may be a slightly extended version of the credits, since it runs about a minute long (also unlike other seasons).

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So plenty of evil clown imagery, including Twisty the Clown making balloon animals and then stabbing them with a giant butcher’s knife. A guy with a third leg (with a SHOE on it) instead of genitalia. Stuff that looks like they borrowed it from the more horrifying sections of the Mutter Museum. Plenty of two-headed creatures (including clowns). Did you catch the conjoined twins touching themselves? In the second shot they’re doing it through their skirt, but it’s still not especially subtle.

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We’re going to pick this up later, because after watching The ABCs of Death 2 we already have a ton of nightmare material in our brains waiting to pounce on us the second we hit dreamland. Until the, let your Freak Flag fly!

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