Horror Boom Christmas Countdown For the Holidays – Watch The Tales From The Crypt Episode “And All Through The House,” Boils and Ghouls!

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I brought up the ominously titled “And All Through The House…” when I wrote about American Horror Story Asylum’s Christmas Episode, A Very American Horror Story Christmas (OK, that joke has now played out) “Unholy Night”. The scene in the cold open where a little girl finds murderous Ian McShane in their living room six days before Christmas wearing a Santa suit, but isn’t scared of him because she thinks he’s Santa, definitely brought this comic AND this episode in mind.  It’s 22 minutes long (kind of short for a cable drama) and well worth your time… especially the ending, which still creeps me out (a perfect reveal). The TFTC episode is also much closer to the original comic than the version starring Joan Collins that was in the 1970s anthology movie. Check it out below…

Property Of HBO© For entertainment purposes only.   Any problems getting it to play, let us know and we’ll put in the 3-part version. More holiday-themed horror fun to come. Also, more on the comic version to come! You see, THIS Santa loves to SLAY BELLES!

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The “featured image’ in the header is  the first page of the comic; so is the artwork below. Johnny Craig preferred the slightly more subtle stories and left the really blood-curdling stuff to “Ghastly” Graham Ingels (whose horrifying depictions sometimes even caused me trouble falling asleep as an adult) or to our personal favorite, Jack Davis (who moved on to the next EC venture, MAD Magazine.)

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Now THAT’S how you kick off a story!

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Ten Of The Best, Most Entertaining Lines From American Horror Story Asylum’s Episode “Unholy Night” (AKA ‘A Very American Horror Story Christmas’)!

There’s a reason I titled this piece “Ten OF the best lines” rather than “THE ten best lines”. This episode was overflowing with lines that caused me to get a huge smile on my face, laugh, curse (as in, “Man, I love this fuckin’ show!”),  my jaw drop, or a combination of the above.  I probably still would have had some trouble narrowing it down to twenty.

My “Ten Things We Learned” was taking longer to write; I kept jotting down great lines, then realizing I didn’t have room for them, but couldn’t bring myself to edit them out. Finally I just said the hell with this and wrote this instead (‘Ten Things We Learned’ will still be posted shortly).

If I left out one of your favorites, feel free —in fact please do— put it in the “reply” section. I’d kill for a script of that episode.. Fun fact: Ryan Murphy said in the post-show Q&A with EW.com that Leigh (Psycho Santa) Emerson (Ian McShane) will actually return  next week.  I re-watched, and they didn’t show him die…  not that it makes a difference when you’re in American Horror Story-territory.  That should be something to see;  it’s more of a dialogue between their characters (according to Murphy) rather than them trying to kill one another and getting tossed around the room while Leigh makes progressively raunchy and disturbing comments.

Of course, there’s spoilers, but it’s a scream.  Speaking of screams… these are in no particular order (OK, except for the one I saved for last).

1. Sister Mary Eunice (after Leigh pulls down the ladder Frank was using to put the pointy ornament on the tree top and smashes it into Frank’s face before two giant orderlies pull him off): Two steps forward, one step back.

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2. Little Susie: Are you hurt, Santa?
Leigh: Oh, no no. This isn’t Santa’s blood!

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3. Dr. Arden: I don’t believe in God. But I believe in evil. I have seen it up close and personal.
Sister Jude: Of that I have no doubt.
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4. Sister Mary Eunice: Did you celebrate Christmas in your Nazi household?*

 

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5. Leigh (after Sister Jude won’t take off his shackles for the group Christmas photo in 1963): Well, I don’t want to be in your shitty picture, then!
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6. Dr. Arden: I so dearly hoped you’d throw them back in my face, that you couldn’t stand to touch those shit-stained earrings. I was hoping there’d be a glimmer of horror… a glimmer of that precious girl who was too afraid to even take a bite of my candy apple.

 

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7. Leigh (dressed as Santa, with female patient on his lap): Whaddaya say we blow this pop stand, savage a few elves, and then go suck on each other? (patient hastily leaves)

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8. Sister Mary Eunice (after putting on the ruby earrings from Dr. Arden): Look how beautiful they are on me. They bring out the rose in my cheeks!

 

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9. Susie’s Dad: (after Leigh mentions finding some “rape” under their Christmas tree) Don’t you touch her!
Leigh: Hey, who said anything about her?  You know the difference between that Santa Claus and me? He only comes once a year!

10. Lana, to Thredson: One day, I’ll bury you.

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*on the first viewing, I mis-heard it as, “Did you celebrate Christmas, you Nazi asshole?”

American Horror Story Asylum’s Lily Rabe Talks Sister Mary Eunice And The Upcoming Christmas Episode – “I’ll Never Look At A Christmas Tree The Same Way Again!”

Oooooh, this is a great read! For one thing, if you’re an Ian McShane (or a Deadwood) fan, you’ll practically go into a frenzy like I did when I read about his role in the Christmas episode, “A Very American Horror Story Christmas.” Just kidding. It’s titled (per IMDB) “Unholy Night.”  I try not to have unrealistic expectations in general, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that there is no way that a Christmas-themed American Horror Story Asylum episode could be anything less than fucking GOLD.

Click Here To Read “American Horror Story’s Lily Rabe on Seducing James Cromwell and the Upcoming Christmas Episode” On Vulture.com

Here are some of the highlights of the interview (you should still read the interview, I just couldn’t resist including them, they were so awesome):

Rabe: What’s been so fascinating as I’ve been playing possessed Mary Eunice is that it’s not just the devil on the one hand and Sister Mary Eunice on the other. It’s what’s happening between the two.
I think every script I read has something that sends me into a state of panic but that usually makes me want to do it. I can’t actually think of a job where I was relaxed the whole time. I don’t think I would want to do that job.
Ian [McShane] and I had a lot of amazing Christmas things to do together. Sister Mary Eunice has something to do with why his character is wearing that Santa suit. She has a lot of Christmas spirit, that’s for sure…

Vulture: So there will be a Christmas episode of American Horror Story?
Rabe:  Oh yes. Of course, right? That was one of my favorite ones to shoot, actually. Ian and I got to do some really evil things together, and I have to say it was a career highlight. He’s such a wonderful man. We had great stuff in the common room, with all of those background actors, the inmates. I can say Christmas will never be the same for me after shooting that episode!