Variety Review: ‘Angelica’, Second Feature by Writer Director of ‘Teeth’, Is Never Boring

Wow, this sounds messed-up. Teeth (the first movie from writer-director Mitchell Lichtenstein in 2007) was pretty sick, but there was nothing like this in it:

“It’s during one of those nighttime visits that Constance first sees the otherworldly “flying man” — an apparent swarm of microbial bacteria in a vaguely humanoid shape, hovering over Angelica’s bed and attempting to penetrate her delicate body. When Constance disturbs the creature, it scuttles off into the bureau, leaving what can only be described as an ectoplasmic cum stain all over the door.”

That’s not even the creepiest thing described in this review by Scott Foundas (Chief Film Critic for Variety.com). Click “View original” in the lower left of this post to read the entire review. Meanwhile, we’re going to go looking for a trailer…

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“Annabelle” (2014) Gets Ripped Apart By The Editing Room! Check Out The Abridged Script

The GHOST puts on SMOOTH JAZZ and jumps at ANNA through a WINDOW.

GHOST

Ooh that was fun! I’m going to do that again!

(jumps out, again!)

ANNA WALLIS

Eeek, I’m mildly unnerved!

GHOST

Oh, just wait! Later I plan on pretending I’m a little girl, THEN I’m gonna whisper at you all creepy-like, THEN I’m going to dress up as a priest! Rawr!

EVERY GHOST AFTER JU-ON

Yo, try becoming visible from ONE VERY SPECIFIC CAMERA ANGLE! Then when she turns around… you’ll be GONE. It’s fun, trust us.

GHOST

But I feel much more comfortable dressing like a priest…

ANNA WALLIS

You’re the lady who died holding the doll in her arms! The logical thing to do is throw out the doll-

(does not throw out doll)

(wanders into dark basement instead)

-From the parody of “Annabelle” on The-Editing-Room.com, copyright Ian S. (2014)

annabelle1

So! We haven’t seen Annabelle yet, mainly because only one of us wanted to go, and the other didn’t want to let out ear-splitting screams (though from what I hear, there may not have been any) while we sitting by ourselves in the theater. Then I could have talked a friend into going who actually really liked The Conjuring, (2013) but the reviews were mixed and I got lazy and then it was out of theaters fast. It should be out of DVD/VOD pretty soon, though, now that we think of it…

So, Ian S., one of the funnier writers at The Editing Room, either dislikes modern horror movies, horror movies by James Wan, or both of the above. We know one thing: he really hated The Conjuring spinoff/prequel Annabelle!* All James Wan did was sign off on it, really, since he had nothing to do with writing or directing the “evil doll” movie, and he skewers him at one point too. However, if you’re already reading this, we’re guessing you have a good sense of humor, and even if you loved Annabelle, this “abridged script” should give you some good laughs.

 

Click here to read the parody of “Annabelle” over at the Editing Room!

 

The same writer also wrote a parody script of The Conjuring last year, and while he gave it one star higher, you can tell he wasn’t thrilled with it. We had a lot more fun with it than he did (I don’t think he’s sat through as many bad and mediocre horror films as we have, so he may not completely be sure what an above-average one looks like), but again, funny as hell. We posted it in 2013, but here’s a link to The Conjuring: The Abridged Script if you missed it the first time around.

HQreel_of_film_stock.jpg

 

*You can tell that even before you see that he rated it one-and-a-half stars out of five. Anyway, we’re still definitely renting it.

See the Spooky-Ass Short Film That Inspired Jennifer Kent’s Upcoming “The Babadook” – “Monster” (2005)

Yep, we already ran this in July, but since the movie will be opening in selected theaters and on VOD Friday (that’s according to the website; it better not get bumped again), and now is a great time to watch, or re-watch, the frightening short and trailer. Click “View original” in the lower left to see the complete piece. Trust us, it’s worth the extra little click. We also put a ‘Countdown Calender’ in the footers at the bottom of the page, scroll down and you’ll see it in the second column. It cannot open soon enough for us!

HORROR BOOM

So,  as you may know, The Babadook, the debut feature from talented Aussie film-maker Jennifer Kent, is one of the most highly anticipated upcoming horror releases of the year. When it was screened at Sundance, audiences and critics alike knew they’d just seen something unique, special …and pretty goddamned frightening.

Monster, the short film that was basically the seed of The Babadook, won several awards –the full list is here— at short film festivals. We’ve heard that the tone and theme of Monster are very similar to the upcoming feature-length film, and though we haven’t seen Babadook, we have seen enough clips and trailers to be able to confirm that. It has a very spooky, gothic, fairy-tale tone (kind of in the same way the deeply frightening 2013 film Mama did, though we’re pretty sure–no offense, Mr. Babadook– Mama is the one that will forever haunt our…

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INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 3 -The First Trailer and Equally Creepy Poster Is Here!

All right, let’s start off with the trailer, which calls this entry “the darkest yet”. Hey, maybe we’ll get an “R” rating! That way we won’t have to put up with loud tweeners talking as if they were in their own living room (with fireworks or something going on outside so they have to raise their voices to hear each other) like we did with, say, “Mama” and “Insidious Chapter Two”.

Great news- Lin Shaye is in the film as Elise Ranier, alive;  this one takes place before the events in Insidious (2010). I read someone calling this a “period piece” due to the fact that the cell phones used for texting in the commercial are “old”. Hey, guess what? There’s no way this movie took place over ten years ago, we already aren’t thrilled when someone calls something taking place in the 80s a period piece. “Mad Men” is a period piece. Merchant/Ivory specialized in period pieces. Something that happened after 2001 is not a period piece. OK, enough of that. Check out the poster (which actually makes sense as long as you don’t try to figure it out immediately) below.

Screen shot 2014-11-20 at 9.21.45 AM

It might as well end AND HE IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU. Here’s the plot details that have been release so far:

 A prequel set before the haunting of the Lambert family that reveals how gifted psychic Elise Rainier reluctantly agrees to use her ability to contact the dead in order to help a teenage girl who has been targeted by a dangerous supernatural entity.

Leigh Whannell will be helming this one, writing and directing, Fangoria reported exclusively yesterday that Whannell reached out to William Friedkin for advice, and he ended up sort of mentoring him for the film. Read the Fango article, which includes an interview with Whannell here!

Here is one very scary screencap we grabbed from the trailer… if we saw that thing, we’d be out of their so fast we wouldn’t bother saying, “Yeah, I’m outta here.”

Screen shot 2014-11-20 at 7.44.05 AM

Insidious Chapter 3 will be here next summer. More as it comes in!

Variety Review of ‘[REC] 4: Apocalypse’ Says The [REC] Franchise Has “Largely Bounced Back”

Well, after we just spent over an hour combing the net, trying to find out if Javier Botet is back to appear as The Medieros Girl (AKA the ‘attic monster’) in this “final” installment, we only succeeded in scaring the shit out of ourselves, especially with some of the horrifying galleries that Tumbler has put together. So we’ll let you know when we know. By the way, if you’re wondering why the word ‘final’ is in quotes when we use it referring to [REC] 4: Apocalypse, that’s because this review from Variety.com states that the door is more or less left wide open for a sequel. That’s just fine with us!

Click “View Original” is the lower left to read the entire review.

Variety Calls The Canal (2014) “Twisted” “Eerie”, and “Spine-Tingling” – Read Their Review Here!

With overt references to Jacques Tourneur’s “Cat People” and a clear appreciation for the atmospheric creepiness of other early horror classics, Kavanagh proceeds to escalate the tension, putting David’s young son Billy (Calum Heath), trusting nanny Sophie (Kelly Byrne) and over-concerned co-worker Claire (Antonia Campbell Hughes) in potential danger of whatever’s lurking around his home. Meanwhile, the hallucinations become more frequent, to the extent that we can’t always discern where reality ends and fantasy begins.

But Kavanagh hardly sees fit to rely on old-school techniques to generate suspense, amping up the tension via jump cuts, red-lit interiors and a meticulously engineered soundscape that makes sparing yet effective use of eerie tones and spine-tingling scratching noises (even to accompany the old silent footage). After shrewdly raising the possibility that something otherworldly is lurking behind the walls and beneath the manhole cover in David’s backyard, the camera finally descends into the sewer, crossing over from the old-fashioned realm of suggestion-driven horror to the far more explicit territory of directors like Takashi Miike (who surely would approve). The pic’s early coyness offers little preparation for its twisted climax, in which this subterranean tunnel of death doubles as a perverse birth canal of sorts — an image that won’t die anytime soon in the minds of any who witness it.

 

-From the accompanying Variety.com review by Peter Debruge

 

So!  We’re just about to sit down (in the dark) and watch Ivan Kavanagh’s The Canal,  a move we are starting to re-think the wisdom of after reading this last review. We’ve also read quite a few others over the past few days, and all of the professional critics have admitted the movie was not just creepy, but surprisingly scary. Scary as hell, in fact! We’ll let you know… especially if we can’t sleep and have some time on our hands until the sun comes up.

Click “View original” in the lower left to read the entire review on Variety.com.

NOTE: we are aware of the annoying HTML tags that are automatically inserted every fucking time we re-blog a piece from Variety or EW.com. We have been trying to figure out how to correct this, and are getting really frustrated, but we did want to let you know we are aware that it not only looks sloppy but unprofessional as shit. We’re working on it. Thanks for your patience and for continuing to read Horror Boom!

Variety Says “At the Devil’s Door” Has More Creepy Restraint Than Jump-Scares – Read Their Review Here!

We’re hearing mixed things about this flick, so we’re going to wait for it to show up on Netflix.  When this director’s first film, The Pact came out, even some of the harsher critics said it had its moments, and had at least one “I see dead people”-type scene that scared the shit out of us (don’t look up at the ceiling if something up there is really freaking out a psychic). However, we have heard At The Devil’s Door is a slow-burn but does have some genuine scares (though not as many as this critic at Variety.com would have liked); read on! (Click “View original” on the lower left to read the whole review by Dennis Harvey).

Variety Gives ‘Found’ Strong Review- “My brother keeps a human head in his closet.”

Actual first line from the movie. Then it gets uglier! This should be a great one. Also, we REALLY want to see scenes from the fictional “vintage gore flick” mentioned (hell, we’d love to see the entire movie). Hit up “View original” in the lower left to read it all!

Found is now available on VOD, DVD, and, as of August 15th, in selected theaters.

“As Above, So Below” – Gallery of Screencaps From Latest Red Band Trailer

Okay, some of these are a little blurry, but the way parts are shown, they purposely make the image look bad. Plenty of the red stuff, though! Click on any image to enlarge. Horror Boom does not own the rights in any ay, shape, or form of these images from As Above, So Below.

Haven’t seen the red band, extended trailer yet? Here’s the piece where we posted it.

 

Extended, RED BAND Trailer For ‘As Above, So Below’ Has Bloody New Footage (Possible Spoilers)

We say “possible spoilers” because this extra-long, final trailer has so much action (not to mention blood) that we are actually kind of concerned–especially because we watched it– that they don’t hold much back for the actual movie. Since the trailer is not on You Tube as of this writing, we have a link to it on Yahoo! Movies. You have been warned… oh, and it made us want to drive directly to the nearest movie theater showing it and see it ASAP. Consider yourself warned–watch at your own risk!

So! Does it make you want to bolt out and catch the movie right away, or are you concerned there’s too many scares given away in the trailer? We haven’t dug deeply to ask someone if this new trailer kinda shoots As Above, So Below ‘s load, but we will find out and report back to you. Oh, and screencaps are coming!

I'm pretty sure you couldn't see in the green band trailer that she was holding what appears to be a dead infant...

I’m pretty sure you couldn’t see in the green band trailer that she was holding what appears to be a dead infant…