Here Comes The Fuzz! Gory, Hilarious ‘Wolfcop’ Trailer Arrives – Don’t Miss This One!

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Lon Chaney Jr. and Universal Studios maintain that’s the mark of the Wolfman!

Damn! Do NOT miss this fun, bat-shit crazy theatrical trailer. Click here to see the EW.com article including the fun 80s horror boom-style poster AND the awesome main character of WOLFCOP, Lou Garou (get it?) who looks to be half alcoholic cop, half werewolf! Damn, we wish we had a US release date- we’ll let you now when we know. Arrrooooooooo!

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Film Review: ‘Nothing Left to Fear’

“It doesn’t take long, though, for cracks to form in this Norman Rockwell facade, starting around the time Mary bites into a slice of a housewarming cake and nearly chokes on a large, snaggly tooth concealed inside. But it takes a very long time before anything wiggles the needle on the fright meter, unless one counts the courtship scenes between Rebecca and the strapping, mysterious lamb-slayer Noah (Ethan Peck, grandson of Gregory), which play like outtakes from a 1980s Juicy Fruit commercial.”  

-from the Variety review

Yeah, we’ll skip this one… not an enticing review. You want to see Norman Rockwell gone horribly wrong, along with some really sick humor and genuinely disturbing moments (plus gallons of practical gore FX) we suggest you watch Excision (2012) first. Click the link to see the red band trailer and see if it’s to your tastes…

Review: 100 Bloody Acres is a blood soaked blast

THEY FIND YA… THEY GRIND YA! “A Blood soaked blast”! With that tagline, that review headline, and the title 100 Bloody Acres– we are SOLD! We wish we could offer opinions on the horror-comedy (or, hey, we dunno, our own review) but since we haven’t been able to find the flick to watch it(all our research showed it was available on VOD/iTunes, but no dice as of this writing), here’s a great review by Ryan from Rhino’s Horror. Check out the attached trailer, and for once, go ahead and click on the ‘pop-ups’ (the ones you probably usually disable automatically when you watch anything on You Tube) that flash up during the trailer and say to check out their ‘products’ for some fun viral marketing.

Written and directed by Cameron and Colin Cairnes, 100 Bloody Acres is a blood splattered blast that seamlessly blends comedy into the horror genre. This marks their first feature film together and it follows two brothers, Reg and Lindsay Morgan, who are struggling to keep their organic blood and bone fertilizer business in motion. Their secret “recipe” for success was a huge boom to business, but lately supply has been gravely low. When Reg stumbles upon 3 travelers stranded on the side of the road, he comes up with a ridiculous solution to their problem, and a way of finally gaining the respect of his big brother.

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Red Band Trailer For Spike Lee’s Oldboy Remake Is Here – How Original.

(I got so worked up in my first edit that I realized I forgot to include the actual trailer; so here it is, wheeeeee):

Call this a red band trailer? We’re not that impressed. It looks as though (other than the actors)  Spike Lee‘s only change was having it be 20 years, not fifteen. We’re supposed to buy he’s, what, 25 years old in that first clip? Also, that no blood would come out when… OK, deep breath… see how many shots in this gallery from the remake trailer look a little familiar (and still watered-down).

 

 

Surprised the honeycomb-style wallpaper didn’t get ripped off, too. Oh wait, that’s right– it’s not a rip-off if they call it an homage, I forgot. Hey, you know what? Let’s see Josh Brolin look at cool as Choi Min-sik did while wearing those goofy sunglasses he finds. Chan-Wook Park said on the commentary for the REAL, SOUTH KOREAN Oldboy  (I was lucky enough to get the Vengeance Trilogy Boxed Set as a gift from my thoughtful husband) that they tried to find the most girly, stupid-looking sunglasses for him to wear, but that the actor still looked bad-ass no matter what. Plus, good luck looking that cool holding a hammer.  Hey Brolin, let’s see you lose 20 lbs. training over six weeks and do almost all your own stunt work. Let’s see you do your first fight scene where you beat the shit out of several thugs without the cigarette coming out of your mouth once. Let’s see if you have the dedication as an actor to eat four entire live baby octopi for a movie and your director while keeping your game face on and not gagging or throwing up. OK, WAIT! HOLD UP! Please in fact don’t try it, no-one should ever do that and the one (big) problem I have with the original is that they couldn’t find away to do that ‘bit’ without actually eating the poor things. Even if they were already on the chopping block for dinner, that was unnecessary and I still have to avert my eyes every time I watch that scene.

 

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Anyone here with an AB blood type, raise your hand.

 

OK,  I’m not even sure who I was yelling at there;  probably Lee, or the whole goddamned Hollywood system for cashing in to make a shitty American remake of an amazing foreign movie instead of just re-releasing it.  Not really mad at Brolin, he’s just doing his job… it’s just that Min-sik is an impossible act to follow. And so is Chan-Wook Park.

OK, here’s the corridor fight scene for Oldboy (2003) to cheer you up. Yup, it really was only one take – it took seventeen takes over three days to get the right one.

*Trivia fact: Min-sik is a Shinto Buddhist and said a prayer for each and every one of the octopi.  He didn’t refuse to do the scene, but he felt really sorry for the creatures.

Note: I was going to look up what actor Spike Lee cast as the Woo-jin Lee character, but then I just suddenly got really depressed and tired just thinking about going to the IMDB page for the remake. Even the fact than Samuel L. Jackson is in the movie doesn’t perk me up any (no matter how many times he says “motherfucker”), and I love Jackson in almost everything he does.

Six Chilling New Clips From The Scariest Film of The Summer, The Conjuring!

Doubt that we’re going out on a limb (so to speak) when we predict James Wan‘s The Conjuring will have you screaming louder than anything else you see in the theater this summer (notice we didn’t say ‘this year’ – Mama came out in January, so we’ll reserve judgement on that).

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We wish we could embed these here, but so far the clips are only up on the slightly clunky Movieweb.com site. We have links for you, however… and an image or two. Brave enough to watch these after dark with the MUTE button off? We weren’t, and still had our heartbeats sped up at the jumps AND the ‘fridge scares’*.

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Hopefully your browser won’t be as buggy as ours was with MovieWeb, and the clips will show up on YouTube soon. We’ll embed them when they do. Until then, you still don’t want to miss these six (six six)! Here’s the links:

The Conjuring -“The First Clap”
The Conjuring -“He’s Always Sad”
The Conjuring – “Getting Something”
The Conjuring- “Wardrobe”
The Conjuring- “Bedsheet”
The Conjuring- “Behind The Door”

 

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…until now.

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*We’re pretty sure you can understand our complicated lingo, but even Mrs. Horror Boom didn’t know the terminology for ‘fridge scare’ until a couple of years ago, so here goes. “Jump Scare” you don’t need a definition for (if so, see: Ellison in Sinister deciding to see what’s on the 8mm reel marked with the title YARD WORK. I almost fell out of my fucking theater seat like Ethan Hawke‘s character in the movie). A fridge scare (and I’m not sure who coined this term) is closer to a chill than something that causes you to scream in panic, and usually involves quickly putting two and two together (if it takes you a few scenes to put things together, that’s closer to a reveal, such as a main character finally seeing photographic evidence of why his neck has been aching for most of the movie–movie title removed for spoiler reasons).  Classic example: in classic ghost movie The Haunting (the 1963 film, NOT the shitty remake), a character is in a dark room, unable to sleep because she’s staying in a clearly haunted house, comforted by her friend holding her hand next to her. When the hand holding starts to get too tight, she turns on the light… to see her friend across the room. In bed. Asleep. Done right, as in the scene in the first Conjuring trailer where Valerie is playing clap-clap hide-and-seek with her daughter, and two hands come out of the stand-up wardrobe, but she finds nothing there, only to take off her blindfold and see her daughter walking in the room, the viewer feels a cold chill run up their spine. These take more skill to pull off than just suddenly blasting a loud noise to make the viewer jump (especially if it turns out to be a false alarm, like a cat leaping out …unless, of course, you’re watching anything in the Ju-On series).

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