“Annabelle” (2014) Gets Ripped Apart By The Editing Room! Check Out The Abridged Script

The GHOST puts on SMOOTH JAZZ and jumps at ANNA through a WINDOW.

GHOST

Ooh that was fun! I’m going to do that again!

(jumps out, again!)

ANNA WALLIS

Eeek, I’m mildly unnerved!

GHOST

Oh, just wait! Later I plan on pretending I’m a little girl, THEN I’m gonna whisper at you all creepy-like, THEN I’m going to dress up as a priest! Rawr!

EVERY GHOST AFTER JU-ON

Yo, try becoming visible from ONE VERY SPECIFIC CAMERA ANGLE! Then when she turns around… you’ll be GONE. It’s fun, trust us.

GHOST

But I feel much more comfortable dressing like a priest…

ANNA WALLIS

You’re the lady who died holding the doll in her arms! The logical thing to do is throw out the doll-

(does not throw out doll)

(wanders into dark basement instead)

-From the parody of “Annabelle” on The-Editing-Room.com, copyright Ian S. (2014)

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So! We haven’t seen Annabelle yet, mainly because only one of us wanted to go, and the other didn’t want to let out ear-splitting screams (though from what I hear, there may not have been any) while we sitting by ourselves in the theater. Then I could have talked a friend into going who actually really liked The Conjuring, (2013) but the reviews were mixed and I got lazy and then it was out of theaters fast. It should be out of DVD/VOD pretty soon, though, now that we think of it…

So, Ian S., one of the funnier writers at The Editing Room, either dislikes modern horror movies, horror movies by James Wan, or both of the above. We know one thing: he really hated The Conjuring spinoff/prequel Annabelle!* All James Wan did was sign off on it, really, since he had nothing to do with writing or directing the “evil doll” movie, and he skewers him at one point too. However, if you’re already reading this, we’re guessing you have a good sense of humor, and even if you loved Annabelle, this “abridged script” should give you some good laughs.

 

Click here to read the parody of “Annabelle” over at the Editing Room!

 

The same writer also wrote a parody script of The Conjuring last year, and while he gave it one star higher, you can tell he wasn’t thrilled with it. We had a lot more fun with it than he did (I don’t think he’s sat through as many bad and mediocre horror films as we have, so he may not completely be sure what an above-average one looks like), but again, funny as hell. We posted it in 2013, but here’s a link to The Conjuring: The Abridged Script if you missed it the first time around.

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*You can tell that even before you see that he rated it one-and-a-half stars out of five. Anyway, we’re still definitely renting it.

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Variety.com’s Review: Giallo Spoof ‘The Editor’ Is Over-The-Top Fun For Fans Of The Genre

We thought, when we first saw the trailer, that this was more of a Giallo homage than a spoof… until we saw that Paz de La Huerta was starring in it, at which point we realized it wasn’t going to take itself too seriously. As Dennis Harvey points out, it won’t reach a wide audience, but those of us horror fans who know their way around an Argento movie will definitely be seeing it!
Click “view original” in the lower left to read the entire review from Variety.com (though it’s not especially long, you’ll appreciate it). Many other raves have been popping up online.

Godzilla 2014 VS. The Editing Room – Read The Abridged Script Here!

AARON gets free and makes himself busy realizing the monster is RIGHT BEHIND HIM, UH-OH! He spots BRYAN on a CATWALK just as the KAIJU DESTROYS IT! BRYAN plummets forty feet to the GROUND and despite it being a summer blockbuster, is actually MORTALLY WOUNDED!

BRYAN CRANSTON

(dying)

I know this sounds weird coming from me, son, but you gotta do whatever it takes… to protect your family.

AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON

Like fail to warn anyone, save anyone, or change anything from happening how it would have anyway?

BRYAN CRANSTON

Oh, fuck you.

(dies)

-From the Abridged Script By Alex W. (on Jun 12th, 2014)

OK, so The Editing Room didn’t like it as much as we did, but the script is hilarious (and we admit, makes some good points). Also, look for at least one other Breaking Bad reference besides the one above! Click below to check it out and get a good laugh.

Godzilla 2014: The Abridged Script | The Editing Room.

The Editing Room Takes On “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones” (The Abridged Script)

ANDREW JACOBS

Hey, I found a box of tapes from “Paranormal Activity 3”. Maybe we could get some answers to one of the franchise’s many unsolved questions.

BEAT.

Both BOYS collapse into PEALS OF LAUGHTER.

JORGE DIAZ

(wiping tears from eyes)

Ha ha ha. Oh Andrew, that was a good one. Andrew? Andrew where did you go? Andrew? Andrew? I ask because no teenager calling out for their friend in a dark and abandoned area ever gets ambushed in a horror movie.

(thinks)

Maybe if I put the camera right up to this bead curtain. I’m sure nothing will jump out at-

JUMP SCARE

Boo!

NOBODY WHO’S EVER SEEN A HORROR MOVIE

AAAAAAAHHHH!

-Excerpt from The Abridged Script of PA:TMO , written by Lachlan R.

We haven’t seen the movie yet (but will shuffle out feet while looking down at the floor and admit we’ll rent the DVD when it’s out… which probably won’t be a gigantic wait), however, we can assure you this is one of the funnier scripts for a horror movie from The Editing Room that we’ve read in several months.  Oh, I doubt this will be a big issue for most people, but if you haven’t seen the movie yet, plan to, and don’t want the entire movie spoiled for you (I kept hearing that the ‘twist’ ending was the best part…meh), don’t read the script till you see it.

Otherwise? Click on the big ole’ link below to read the abridged script, and have a good laugh:

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones: The Abridged Script  – The Editing Room.

 

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