Film Review: ‘Riddick’

From the Variety review (they loved it):

That sets the stage for what is effectively a sleeker, more accomplished, but no less enjoyable “Pitch Black” remake, with rain substituted for darkness, and Riddick and his would-be captors once again forced to work together — or at least pretend to — if they want to make it off  ‘Not Furya’ alive. And if nothing in “Riddick” ever quite tops that opening act, when it seems as though the entire movie might be a solo Diesel performance piece, even at its most conventional this is a solid, unpretentious B-movie entertainment of the sort John Carpenter was regularly turning out in the 1980s and ‘90s, populated by the kind of snub-nosed men (and women) of action favored by Carpenter’s own professed idol: Howard Hawks. To wit, Riddick nearly meets his match here in the form of Johns’ second-in-command, the steely, ass-kicking Dahl (“Battlestar Galactica” star Katee Sackhoff), who succinctly summarizes her character in two lines of dialogue: “I don’t fuck guys. Occasionally, I fuck them up if they need it.”

So… we’re pretty much in from that paragraph alone. How about you guys?

 

‘You’re Next’: How a group of indie filmmakers produced one of 2013’s most terrifying movies

…Lionsgate has made up for delaying the film’s release by diligently, and cleverly, promoting the movie… earlier this year posters for Lionsgate offerings were emblazoned with ghostly images of the movie’s masked maniacs. “I thought that was really brilliant,” says Wingard. “Simon and I are really only established filmmakers on the independent scene and by and large our cast is relatively unknown.  So it’s an interesting way for Lionsgate to say, ‘We’ve got a lot of faith in this movie,’ and juxtaposing it with things that do have name value… They’re just trying to find ways to make it something your everyday audience member can comprehend, just like using ‘Perfect Day’ in the trailer. They spent a lot of money putting that song in the trailer. Honestly, I think that trailer cost almost as much as the film.” At the recent Comic-Con in San Diego, Lionsgate distributed replicas of the You’re Next masks and the film received an unexpected publicity boost when Michael Fassbender appeared at the panel for X-Men: Days of Future Past wearing one. “That blew my mind,” says Wingard. “I don’t know what the deal is — or if he’s just passing a hint for You’re Next 2.”  (excerpt from the article)

If Adam Wingard directed it, we might consider seeing a horror movie about a giant, skinless, suburbia-terrorizing dog named Roger… Takashi Miike could probably have lots of fun with it, too. We are, however, going to do our best at pretending we never heard the term ‘Mumblecore‘ (also referred to later in the article as ‘Mumblegore’). Just our opini… ugh.  Other than that? A great, in-depth article that delves deeply not just into the making/producing of You’re Next, but the indie filmmakers behind it, and their background, thoughtfully written by Clark Collis of Entertainment Weekly. The EW.com piece also carefully avoids spoilers. Enjoy!

[Simon] Barrett reveals they have a “cool idea” about how to turn You’re Next into a trilogy if the film makes the same impact nationally as it did at SXSW.  “A friend of mine came to see it at SXSW and had to walk out,” says  You’re Next actress Sharni Vinson. “I was completely in shock because this person is an actor themselves, so they know all the tricks of the trade and how this is obviously not real. I just thought ‘Wow, that’s awesome!’” (from the attached ew.com article)

An audience walkout (for the right reasons to a horror buff, i.e. needing to head to the lobby for a break to try to temporarily escape and calm down)? That’s a plus in our book. You’re Next opens August 23rd, and there’s plenty of chances to catch it before then (our piece here with the gallery has a ton of links) –even if you missed the pre-screenings, you can bet your ass there’ll be early showings on August 22nd. You may have much more of a hassle getting tickets and waiting in line, but you can bet the crowd reactions will be worth it, if you’re going because you love seeing a horror movie in a theater packed with like-minded fans who are not shy about expressing their enthusiasm. At Horror Boom, none of us would have an early showing–or an opening night– for a horror movie we’ve been counting the days to any other way.  It’s so fucking worth it!

 

 

Adam Wingard’s “You’re Next” – We Get The Feeling You REALLY Want Spoilers (Spoiler Alert)!

Due to the fact that several variations of “You’re Next spoilers” have been our top Google search term per our WordPress statistics for the past ten days, and the fact that a Variety review that we “Re-Pressed” that simply contained the tag “you’re next spoilers” because there were some mild spoilers in there has been getting top traffic …even over The Conjuring pieces and brand-new American Horror Story Coven details (and even the notorious ‘ Is This The Face of Javier Botet as Mama?’ piece, which is responsible for something like 30% of Horror Boom’s total number of hits over the last year). If those weren’t enough big enough hints, we’ve gotten a flood of actual requests.  So!  We’re guessing people would be happy if we posted some spoilers for Adam Wingard‘s You’re Next, which opens August 23rd.

A 'blink and you'll miss it' shot from the trailer

A ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ shot from the trailer

We had two options after combing online for specific details: either write a long, thoughtful piece that combines every single spoiler into a coherent, elaborate synopsis of the entire film that’s as close as we can get without having seen it, or give you a series of direct links to the pages that contained the most details. For now, we’re going with the latter due to 1. time constraints and using all our energy to find what we already did (going through endless message board threads takes longer then you’d think, and there’s a surprisingly small amount of spoilers for this flick out there) and 2. we already feel sort of vulgar blurting it out.  People have been going nuts to see this (after waiting since 2011, the first Midnight Madness at TIFF premiere) and anticipation is high (despite the really lame TV spots and, sadly, countless instant comparisons to The Strangers and even The Purge that some–sorry–ignorant moviegoers have been assuming from a glance at the posters without doing any further investigation into what the movie is about). Thus, we don’t think it’s gonna flop at the box office due to spoiler spillage. This writer still feels slightly tacky for posting these major spoiler links, even though people have asked repeatedly (and politely).

Screen shot 2013-07-30 at 12.20.56 AM

OK then! SPOILER ALERT, these links contain SPOILERS! You may have to highlight or mouse over the text for some, but they’re right there. You want spoilers? Here’s the links and what you get.

  • At the end of this thread (if it’s not already, set preferences to ‘flat’ so all the posts in the thread are inline and you don’t have to click a dozen times to get to what you want to read) there is a list of how every character dies, and who survives. Then there’s a newer post that elaborates and clarifies all of them. THEN someone asked for clarification and key plot points late in the movie, and pretty much all the big reveals are… revealed. Maximum spoilage, so tread lightly! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1853739/board/flat/212515132
  • Here’s a funny, good review of the flick I found on Topless Robot (heh) that really sets up the plot and characters in the movie, and contains spoilers (including on kills). It’s good reading (if you don’t mind some spoilers; this is NOT a review I would even think about recommending to anyone who wants to read a review, but also go in as clean as possible before seeing You’re Next). It’s also a handy guide to keeping the characters straight when you’re reading spoilers that name names: http://www.toplessrobot.com/2013/06/laff_review_youre_next.php
  • And last but not least, here’s the IMDB parent’s guide. Several people contributed and wrote  the “violence/gore” spoilers, meaning you’ll see some things repeated. One of the contributors, though, took pains to mention character names and sort of set up the scenario for the act of violence/gore in a very, very spoiler-y way, basically explaining entire scenes. Those red “Spoiler!Spoiler!” areas you need to mouse over, added specifically so that no-one accidentally spoils themselves by merely glancing at some words before they realize it, were inserted by yours truly.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1853739/parentalguide

Screen shot 2013-07-30 at 12.09.18 AM

We hope this scratches that spoiler itch for You’re Next. Honestly, we’d advise you to wait till you see the movie–hey, you waited this long, you can make it till opening weekend–to preserve the surprises, but if you really must know… then you’re welcome.

Screen shot 2013-07-30 at 12.32.58 AM

Oh, and the below photo–shown VERY fast in the trailer–is spoiler-y. It’ll fit right in if you read the IMDB Parent’s Guide we linked to. You’ll know who this chick is…

Screen shot 2013-07-30 at 12.31.01 AM

“You want to (spoiler) me on top of (spoiler)?”

*I had to actually take a break from researching because I got sick of threads with titles like “Total ripoff of the strangers? U can totally figure it out”. Then I just started to get noticeably depressed when I saw that quite a few groups of people thought that it was about an actual wolf, lamb, and tiger who were hunting humans in their home. (Rant warning) For some reason the ‘actual animals’ in question in this imagined scenario would bother to dress up in people’s clothing and wearing white masks over their real animal faces (I guess, so they’d be incognito),plus be able to operate crossbow mechanisms. When I started seeing arguments about how it was unrealistic to have animals as the masked killers because sheep, big cats, and wolves couldn’t operate doorknobs,  my brain just made a unilateral decision to power down in order to protect itself.  This stupid bullshit wasn’t one or two stupid people or grade-schoolers, but entire fucking  factions.  I guess I was asking for it… but these are the kind of idiots who give real horror fans a bad name, and that pisses me off. (End of rant).

Screen shot 2013-07-30 at 12.16.17 AM

Is this connected to the “five knives” scene mentioned in those spoilers? We kinda think so…

Happy Birthday, Robert Shaw – 1927 to Forever

Well, this also being Shark Week and all, I can’t think of a better clip to put up than Quint’s Indianapolis speech from Jaws (1975), not only one of the best sea monster movie of all time*, but one of the best movies of all time. Shaw’s memory of filming the scene might have been a little fuzzy, but we’ll never forget a word, never get sick of watching it, and get the same chills each time we see it.

indianapolisspeechquintjaws.jpg

While you’re at it, check out our entertaining Jaws drinking game we posted about this time last year!

jawslastthingyouseeteecloseup.jpg

Grab that first-aid kit! Too late…

*Yes, we realize great white sharks are not monsters, they’re wild animals. Kind of slips your mind while you’re watching Jaws, though… we’re guessing it would also slip your mind if you looked and saw anything resembling the above image coming at you while you were taking a swim.

‘Gravity’ Trailer/Clip: Beautiful Space Terror (Clip of the Week)

Honestly, I’ve seen this described as both a trailer and a clip for Alfonso Cuarón’s upcoming space disaster film, Gravity; I suppose it’s both. The idea of this –the title “Detached” doesn’t calm me down any either– almost puts me on the verge of a panic attack (judging from the related media below, I’m definitely not the only one). This made my heart speed up so much I didn’t even notice George Clooney was involved, or recognize his voice, and I can usually pick his voice up just from commercials (I’m married, but my hormones still work just fine).  Just remember to breathe when you watch this… breathe…

The Editing Room Takes On …World War Z: The Abridged Script!

BRAD PITT

That’s a relief. Looks like we’re getting straight to the action! Buckle up kids, this is gonna be zombie carnage on a scale never seen before. We’re talking GLOBAL amounts of gore and evisceration that…

MIREILLE ENOS

Er, don’t forget that this movie is, itself, ALSO single-mindedly bent on achieving worldwide saturation.

BRAD PITT

Huh? Why would that matter…

The ZOMBIE HORDE arrives!! LIMBS and SEVERED HEADS and BLOOD and ENTRAILS fly in all directions as There is lots of censor-friendly SCREAMING and RUNNING AROUND in a SUITABLE FOR MASS MARKET fashion!

BRAD PITT

I see your point. Well, an undead plague sanitized for international consumption is still an undead plague, I guess. Let’s go!!

They corral an RV and make a GETAWAY, but one of the DAUGHTERS turns out to have been BITTEN, forcing BRAD to make an unthinkable choice while raising the emotional stakes to intense heights of has an ASTHMA ATTACK! They park outside a PHARMACY.

-From the Abridged Script By Alex Wiebe

This script explains why we’re maybe not going to even bother renting the movie when it comes out… and also, we laughed our asses off. Click on the big red link below to read it!

 

World War Z: The Abridged Script • The Editing Room.

 

Cover of "World War Z: An Oral History of...

Warning: Movie bears no resemblance to the (far superior) novel. Great book, though!

 

The Editing Room Burns ‘Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters’ At The Stake!

YOUNG JEREMY RENNER

So we don’t need that trail of breadcrumbs, then. Wait, did we even leave one?

YOUNG GEMMA ARTERTON

I don’t think so.

YOUNG JEREMY RENNER

Great. Hansel and Gretel has like six plot points, how did we go off the rails this quickly?

They FIND THE CANDY HOUSE, then get KIDNAPPED BY THE WITCH, then STAB and BURN and KILL her.

YOUNG JEREMY RENNER

Well, that was the classic tale of Hansel and Gretel. The end?

NICE TRY.

-from the abridged version of the script by Craig

Oh well.

Wow, we sure are embarrassed we promoted the red band trailer (back about six months ago). You have to admit, the trailer didn’t make it *look* like a stinker. Thank God we didn’t waste money to see it in 3D. Or 2D. Or DVD.

Click on the big red link below to give the abridged script a read. As usual, it’s hilarious (and in this case, DEFINITELY more entertaining than the actual flick)!

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters: The Abridged Script / The Editing Room.

Film Review: ‘World War Z’

Pulling all the teeth? We never thought of that before…

 

‘Spartacus’ star Liam McIntyre talks about the tragic series finale (Inside TV – EW.com)

DEFINITELY recommended if you’re still getting over that finale (and it contained horror, that’s for sure). SPOILER ALERT (obviously), if you click the big red link below:

‘Spartacus’ star Liam McIntyre talks about the tragic series finale /Inside TV – EW.com.

 

Spartacus

Spartacus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

‘Spartacus’ Series Finale: Showrunner Steven S. DeKnight Breaks Down Who Survived, Who Died …And Why

We’re just now picking our jaws up off the floor…  Gratitude, Steven DeKnight and Rob Tapert, for a series I’ll never forget.*

 

 

Just another day at the office for the House of Batiatus...

*even if I’m still SUPER-pissed at DeKnight for teasing a Gannicus/Caesar spinoff. Grrrrr.