Want Intel On Upcoming ‘American Horror Story: Roanoke’ Events? Lookie Here!

OK, so we don’t exactly know every single little thing (and face it, you wouldn’t want to know everything any more than we would) but this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly* features Ryan Murphy and some of his favorite talent on the cover, with a big chunk devoted to AHS Roanoke. He drops some VERY interesting teasers on the episodes to come, and though he’s not dumb enough to give outright spoilers, there is quite a bit of information on what to expect this season, even some specifics about tie-ins to other seasons (hint: they’re not the seasons you’d expect). Here’s some specific highlights from the Entertainment Weekly cover story,  plus some extra goodies!

 

NOTE: SPOILERS INCLUDED FOR AMERICAN HORROR STORY SEASON SIX : ROANOKE. IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP ON EPISODES ONE TO THREE, STOP READING AND CATCH UP. What the hell are you waiting for, anyhow?

 

 

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Dandy Mott origin story, anyone? Remember that rotten, murderous, rich little prick from Freak Show? Finn Whitrock’s Dandy turned out to be much more dangerous and horrible than Twisty the Clown. He definitely deserved the horrible death he got while the surviving characters watched while happily chomping popcorn. Ryan Murphy says that we can expect the shows to “explain how the Motts began”.  We hope that means we’ll get to see Frances Conroy this season, because we really missed her during Hotel.

Roanoke might seem more stripped down–RM’s rule going in was “no script longer than 36 pages, no cut longer than 41 minutes”**–but we still will get plenty of gore. For instance, he says, “If you ever want to see how you do a human disembowling, watch episode four and you’ll learn a lot”.

You would think Kathy Bates as “The Butcher” and her gang of long-dead colonists (Lady Gaga plays one), along with the murderous bloodthirsty nurses, would provide enough scares. We also get “Piggy Man”, as another horrifying apparition (or is he?), and the EW story refers to him as “one of the main baddies”. Piggy Man, who we saw in one of Dr. Cunningham’s found-footage VHS tapes, is the same one as the legend discussed in Murder House.

While EW was visiting the set, someone was getting set up with a “crotch harness”, but it isn’t for what you’d think after watching AHS Hotel. A character is killed after a very nasty staircase fall.

Here’s the big surprise:  Halfway through the season, beginning with episode 6, everything you thought you knew about Roanoke gets flipped on its head. BIG TIME. Says Murphy: “The show has a huge turn, and the thing that you think you’re watching is not what you’re watching.”  We are willing to bet that is going to include a departure from the mock reality crime show format.

 

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Here, piggy piggy…

 

Our speculation on the big twist? The scope of the show is going to widen, because the fact that the “real” family (Shelby, Lee, and Matt Miller) who “My Roanoke Nightmare” is based on all are alive and appear to be in one piece kind of ruins any suspense regarding who will survive and who is not.  The story in the reality show might seem to wrap up, but we’ll see the evil continuing on outside the show. Maybe Angela Bassett, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Sarah Paulson themselves will be haunted, though that could get a little ‘meta’. Maybe we’ll see a little more a little more of Cheyenne Jackson (it took us a while to pick up on it, but he is the interviewer of the documentary My Roanoke Nightmare).

Your guess is as good as ours… and there are plenty of theories to explore online.  Let’s hope the episodes get longer than the bare minimum, and hey, maybe we’ll even see a fish-eye lens shot or two.

We do have a few more miscellaneous nuggets from the Entertainment Weekly cover story.  The whole “The Mist” misdirect isn’t mentioned (though it was pretty clever), but as far as all those involved in the filming and prep leading up to the surprise premiere date, they–and this is a direct quote– “took a blood oath not to reveal anything”.  Scripts got shredded, actual security was hired, and even Sarah Paulson could only get two scripts in advance. Also, several phony semi-leaked plot descriptions were written under the name American Horror Story: Cul-de-Sac. Everything worked, up until some sleazes who wanted a payday from TMZ snuck onto the set and took a few photos, but fortunately, that was only a few days before the surprise premiere. Oh, and Murphy also knows the concept for next season…  and then some.

 

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Oh, and any rabid Even Peters fans who have been really, really upset he hasn’t shown up yet three episodes in? Take a deep breath and try to be patient, he IS signed on for this season. He isn’t even listed as a special guest star, but as a part of the main cast. They may be saving him (along with Finn Whitrock and Matt Bomer) for after the big mid-season switcheroo!

 

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*Source: Entertainment Weekly, “Unlocking American Horror Story” by Tim Stack @ewtimstack, September 30, 2016/Issue #1433

**Not going to lie, this bums us out. The last few season’s extended episodes (“Hotel” was especially generous with these, even though there were only 12 instead of the usual 13 episodes) spoiled us, we guess. We’re going to pretend really hard that we did not only see ten “chapters” listed for this season on the reliable IMDB episode guide, though…

 

 

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Want To View The Actual Blair Witch As Seen In 2016 movie? (SPOILER ALERT)

Well, we’re going to need to send you over to Spoiler-A-Rama section of Horror Boom for this one. But if your only reason for spending the 12-plus bucks to see the new Wingard/Barett “sequel” was to catch a glimpse of the brief, blurry shot at the climax of the movie, we can save you the trouble…

Click here to visit said spoiler section of Horror Boom.

Alternately, click here to go to The Movie Spoiler and just read the entire description of the movie scene-to-scene, start to finish.

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Don’t Say It! Don’t Think It! See Promising First Trailer For “The Bye Bye Man” (2017) Here

So, we were checking out fresh horror trailers on You Tube, and this one caught our eye as one with potential. First, the short version of the plot:

When three college students move into an old house off campus, they unwittingly unleash a supernatural entity known as The Bye Bye Man, who comes to prey upon them once they discover his name. The friends must try to save each other, all the while keeping The Bye Bye Man’s existence a secret to save others from the same deadly fate.

Here’s the first trailer for the R-Rated flick (“Bloody, disturbing violence” is first on the list of MPAA description, so that’s a good start). Take a wild guess as to which character Doug Jones portrays…

We love the idea that “it spreads… like a virus” and tricks victims. Also, the fact that the evil of the title can possess or kill you merely by thinking about it is pretty frightening. Here is a more lengthy description from the upcoming flick’s official website:

 

People commit unthinkable acts every day. Time and again, we grapple to understand what drives a person to do such terrible things. But what if all of the questions we’re asking are wrong? What if the source of all evil is not a matter of what…but who? From the producer of The Strangers and Oculus comes The Bye Bye Man, a chilling horror-thriller that exposes the evil behind the most unspeakable acts committed by man. When three college friends stumble upon the horrific origins of the Bye Bye Man, they discover that there is only one way to avoid his curse: don’t think it, don’t say it. But once the Bye Bye Man gets inside your head, he takes control. Is there a way to survive his possession?

 

Uh, it doesn’t sound like it, since a popular way to control an entity is to find out that entity’s name, especially if it is a demon. But since you can’t say even say it out loud–let alone think it– lest risk possession, that seems problematic.

As we said before, we are big fans of the curse-that-spreads-like-a-virus theme, as well as urban legends (the title sure sounds like one), so far, so good. Written and directed by husband and wife team Stacy Title (directing) and penned by Jonathan Penner (this is his first major film screenplay), The Bye Bye Man will be hitting theaters January 13, 2017.

 

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Review: 31, lost in the violence

Wondering whether to go out of your way to see the latest Rob Zombie standard “slaughterhouse full of rednecks” flick? Check out Ryan’s always on-point review from The Missing Reel before you spend your time and money on it–trust us, you’ll be grateful that you did!

Rob Zombie’s 31 is his most Rob Zombie movie yet, this time injecting his signature style of trashy characters, vile dialog, and brutal violence into a compact version of The Running Man. But despite it featuring all the typical tropes that make his films stand out, 31 has to be Zombie’s most disjointed of them all. It’s a top-to-bottom mess that never finds cohesion between its characters and the violent world in which they exist, ultimately meandering through an incoherent plot. In it, five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, Hell-like compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game of survival.

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10 Trivia Facts About The Conjuring 2 (2016) – We Bet You Don’t Know Them All!

James Wan’s The Conjuring 2 did well in theaters and with critics, and it’s finally available for rental!  There are no major spoilers here, just some fun trivia that we would be surprised if you had heard all about before now.

  1.  Javier Botet played “The Crooked Man”. Search “Javier Botet” in the content for this site and you’ll come up with a hell of a lot a pieces he’s tagged in. Mr. Botet has portrayed many of the most frightening, nightmarish characters in the last ten years of cinema, including “the Medeiros Girl” in the fucking terrifying climax of [REC] (2007) and two other movies in the same franchise, the titular character of Mama (2013), who can kill you just by showing up, and the horrifying ghostly female apparitions featured in the only scary scenes in Crimson Peak (2015), among others. He is 6 ft 7 and weighs about 110 lbs, and he is also double-jointed.  If you didn’t know Mr. Botet’s work well, you would think that the Crooked Man apparition in The Conjuring 2 was created by using CGI animation …but you would be wrong.
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Guess who?

2/3. See that featured image up at the top of this piece? Notice the letters on the bookshelves? V-A-L-A-K. Also, check out the colorful letters on the window below…

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4. Lily Taylor blew her voice out from screaming during filming of the first Conjuring. Vera Farmiga did her one better and blew out a damned lymph node from screaming (multiple takes were needed, which made it worse) filming her role as Elizabeth Warren during The Conjuring 2. Jesus! Ouch! [source: IMDB]

 

5. Did you know that to promote the DVD/Blu-ray release, the studio put out a trailer that consists of the original trailer backwards, and it is somehow even creepier that way? You can watch it right here (EW.com made it an exclusive, so no insert)… and (hint) listen.

 

6. Speaking of very scary voices, the actual recording of the possessed Janet Hodgson is played over the end credits. The dialogue in the movie follows the recording closely. If you are feeling brave and the lights are on, you can listen to it below (this recording goes for a full twelve minutes, unlike the condensed version played in The Conjuring 2). Regardless of your level of skepticism, does THIS sound like an 11-year old girl to you? The working class Hodgson family did not exactly have access to sophisticated voice-altering technology. Today it could be easily be faked …but not back in 1977. Listeners beware, however; this made the hair on our bodies stand on end.

 

7. You probably spotted Annabelle (you don’t forget that thing’s face) in her glass cabinet, along with the music box from The Conjuring in the Warren’s museum,  but did you see the black and white painting hanging in the Warren’s office?

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It’s the house from The Conjuring, along with that very distinctive tree. Minus Bathsheba’s shadow hanging from the tree, it looks very close to the image on the theatrical poster.

8.  Here’s an extremely creepy one. During the Amityville séance cold-open, Elizabeth Warren is terrorized by (among other things) a demonic-looking little boy whose eyes glow a white-silver. Director James Wan was inspired by the following notorious photo claiming to show the youngest victim of the DeFeo massacre (copyright: Paranormal Guide), AKA the “Amityville Ghost Boy”.

 

9. There is yet another image where you can pick out the demon Valak’s name. This one, you need to be looking for (thank you, IMDB trivia section, for telling us the time mark in the movie). You can see the “V” in the “love” plaque, and the rest…

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How did THAT get there?

10. Finally, we are pretty sure this is just PR from the movie studio to promote the home video release of The Conjuring 2, though warning potential viewers of possible unexplained, dangerous paranormal activity directly caused by watching a copy might not be the best media strategy. Here are alleged scary incidents pointing to some kind of “visual curse” that is the result of watching…

 

Oh, GIMME A FREAKIN’ BREAK! Stupidest thing we ever heard, pffffft! We rented the movie on VOD and watched it Saturday night, and we’re fine! Calling bullshit on this one, because… because… what was that noise?

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“Evil Ed” (1995) – Throwback Review By Mrs. Horror Boom, Simply Titled “No”

So, ole Mrs. Horror Boom here had insomnia last night, and started searching Amazon Prime Video in hopes of finding free, newly released horror movies I hadn’t seen yet that were worth seeing (with very little hope, but it has been known to happen). I saw a review for a movie titled “Evil Ed,” which claimed to have the recent release date in 2016. I initially figured it was a new movie, though it had the same title of a really disappointing horror flick from the 1990s. Perhaps a remake? This review contained the one-word title, “No.”  That rang a bell. The more I read, the more familiar it sounded. Ever written a horror movie review fifteen years ago, started thinking you and the reviewer had a lot in common and would probably hit it off, then eventually something clicked and you realized it sounded familiar because you WERE that reviewer? No? Well, okay, but it has happened to me before. Not often, because I have used the same reviewer handle on Amazon and IMDB since I first got internet access in the mid-late 90s (drop me a line privately and I will share it with you; I built up quite a library which I am finally going to get off my ass and start recycling here), but it does happen. I was only thrown here–as I have been in the other rare cases–because for some reason my alias did not appear, and I was instead referred to as “a customer”. I actually find this concerning, since my reviews on both sites contain (or did, I’ll have to look into it)  a way to privately contact me, which resulted in some great networking with other horror fans, many offers of free review copies, and even a couple of job offers, but I digress.
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This cover art was actually kind of edgy at rental chains in the late 1990s.

I found that I still stand by this fifteen-year-old (yikes)* review. The only information I might add is that I literally just this moment realized that the movie is titled Evil Ed not as an homage to the beloved Fright Night character as portrayed by Stephen Geoffries, but because it rhymes with “Evil Dead”. Also, they manage to rip off American Werewolf in London in the end credits, another reason to be pissed off. I guess I could be more kind and say it was inspired by AWIL rather than calling it a rip-off, but I am not in a generous mood. Finally, keep it mind that I went into the movie with only mediocre expectations and was still let down. Below, therefore, is my review of the 1995 horror flick that I still do not recommend, Evil Ed. The header/title of my piece is simply, “No”.
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…and not in a good way.

Actually I feel like having my review be that one word. My friend, whose opinions I almost always trust about movies, especially horror movies, warned me NOT to rent this no matter how tempted or bored or desperate to see a new horror movie I was, because it was a complete waste of time. Unfortunately I haven’t talked to him in a while, and I was in a hurry to pick a movie, and thought, ‘what the heck, how bad could it be?’ WHY don’t I learn? What was I thinking? Did I think it would magically turn into a better movie while sitting there on the shelf for years waiting to be rented?

The ‘plot’ concerns a guy who edits films for some company. His boss is a jerk. The guy who had the job before him went insane and blew himself up in the pre-credits sequence, so for some reason the boss picks nerdy ‘Ed’ for the special project of editing “Loose Limbs” splatter movies. He never says what Ed is supposed to edit, but I guess that doesn’t matter. Ed is upset by some of the clips, working on them up at this house all by himself that the boss has decided to relocate him to for no apparent reason. He asks his boss if he can stop or do another project, but his boss doesn’t care. He starts to slowly go insane, supposedly from watching the clips, and wants to carry out the gory murders in real life. Or has he been this way all along? Please note that I am making this plot sound much more deep, interesting, and coherent than it actually is.

We don’t care about the characters at all, or have any sympathy for them, or even hate the bad guys. The plot is really, really boring and predictable. The splatter isn’t even that gruesome or creative-this is NOT worth renting just to see the gore, because what there is isn’t interesting or original.

All the ‘tributes’ to Sam Raimi just come off like really bad rip-offs, and no-one in the movie is anywhere near good-looking enough as Bruce Campbell, so you can’t distract yourself with that. I think an “Evil Dead II-Dead by Dawn” poster is only prominently displayed in one scene in the hopes that Sam Raimi will be flattered and not consider any sort of legal action. A trained chimp could have written a better screenplay. Every time I hear lines like “Are we having fun…yet?” (which even Bride of Re-Animator couldn’t pull off without making me wince) I start feeling like picking up some sort of deadly weapon myself. Characters just appear out of nowhere with no explanation, wandering in only to get killed. This might be okay if the movie was even remotely amusing or entertaining, but it was all I could do to keep from fast-forwarding through most of it. Fortunately I chose to pay some bills and balance my checkbook at the same time the movie was playing. Trust me, it did not require my full attention-I still felt like 90+ minutes of my life were wasted just by having this on in the background.

Don’t watch it, no matter HOW tempted you are- you’ll hate yourself for wasting your time and money. Horror fans will be completely disgusted by how incompetent it is. Even those who haven’t seen too many splatter movies should stay away, as there are so, so many movies out there you could rent that are much more well worth your while. If you want something brainless, low-budget and fun, rent something else. Complete waste of time with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Be smarter than I was at the time and don’t be fooled by the “Warning-Not For the Faint of Heart” on the box. You have been warned!
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Here’s the NSFW (technically, I guess) trailer for the 1995 movie (appears to be the unedited version; read more on that here), which contains much of the gore (and big Raimi horror fans can count the references) contained in the flick. Please just watch the trailer rather than the movie; you will do yourself a favor.

Also, this You Tube reviewer seemed to find it more entertaining than I did (in a “so bad it’s good” way-more power to him, I guess). Still curious? Then here is another way to avoid sitting through the movie, as the rest of the gore and practical effects more or less appear in this short “Monster Madness” review below.

 

*After hitting the age of forty, you will often make the unpleasant discovery that what occurred fifteen years ago seems more like a five-to-seven year old memory than something that apparently happened THREE TIMES LONGER AGO THAN THAT.  Beware, millennials, this could very well be in your future… take it from a Gen-X’er.

 

AHS Season 6 Teasers Are Now Officially Scaring the Shit Out of Us

Okay, now the makers of the AHS Season 6 teasers seem to be having a contest to see if they can make each other soil themselves with terror. Number 26 was just released, and this writer actually had a nightmare caused by the imagery. All of them have been scary (and very impressive in their creativity), but starting with, oh, number 20 or so, the creative team has been pulling out all the stops. Take, for example, the below, titled “Bathing Beauty”:

But with teaser #26, titled “Bite Me”… well, just watch it. Ararchnophobics, you have been warned.

Because apparently it’s not enough to have a scary, spindly spider scuttling towards you rapidly, they decided to show us one that screams in our fucking faces. As well-crafted and artistic as the Season 6 teasers have been, part of us hopes this is the last one. Or the last openly terrifying one, anyway.

By the way, TMZ has released leaked set photos from the season. We haven’t reported on them yet because Horror Boom prefers not to be linked in any way with TMZ, but we’ll give you a hint: it looks like there might be a Murder House tie-in. Does the word “Croatoan” ring any bells? Also, it looks like AHS will be continuing with their tradition of having every other season be a period piece. AHS Hotel was set in the present, and this time the set photos harken back to what appears to be a colonial era.

More as it comes in! We haven’t heard any official denials about the leaked theme name yet, by the way…

American Horror Story Season 6: The Mist – Actual Leak or Another Fake-out?

We heard a rumor about this a week or so ago and just figured it was click-bait or a PR stunt (and it still might be the latter). Thus, we sort of blew it off. Then, Mrs. Horror Boom here was setting up a series recording on her new Xfinity console and was surprised to find THIS. Oh-HO!

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That’s right! Keep in mind that while this looks very much like a leak, Ryan Murphy and the other AHS producers have admitted recently that “all except one” of the teasers for American Horror Story Season 6 are “misdirects”. They’re all pretty frightening, by the way. The latest one scared the crap out of us and we didn’t even play the audio…

 

Jesus H. Christ! There’s this new one too:

Anyway, the only common theme we can determine so far are 1. Monsters and 2. Creepy-crawly spiders and insects. Which doesn’t really matter anyway, since only one of them is the real theme.

Honestly, this leak could be a “leak” right from Ryan Murphy/FX themselves to throw us off further. “The Mist” is a little too close to the Frank Darabont-directed 2007 film (based on the Stephen King novella) a while back, and that film definitely featured lots of monsters, including some very spider and insect-like ones. It isn’t like AHS to do a tie-in with another, very established horror feature.  Also, would it really leak this soon?

Then again,  Rotten Tomatoes (which is the listing that started the buzz about the leak) listing the full title is one thing. Comcast Xfinity, though, made us take notice enough to pass it on to you.

Any ideas?  Let us know below…