The Editing Room Takes On “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones” (The Abridged Script)

ANDREW JACOBS

Hey, I found a box of tapes from “Paranormal Activity 3”. Maybe we could get some answers to one of the franchise’s many unsolved questions.

BEAT.

Both BOYS collapse into PEALS OF LAUGHTER.

JORGE DIAZ

(wiping tears from eyes)

Ha ha ha. Oh Andrew, that was a good one. Andrew? Andrew where did you go? Andrew? Andrew? I ask because no teenager calling out for their friend in a dark and abandoned area ever gets ambushed in a horror movie.

(thinks)

Maybe if I put the camera right up to this bead curtain. I’m sure nothing will jump out at-

JUMP SCARE

Boo!

NOBODY WHO’S EVER SEEN A HORROR MOVIE

AAAAAAAHHHH!

-Excerpt from The Abridged Script of PA:TMO , written by Lachlan R.

We haven’t seen the movie yet (but will shuffle out feet while looking down at the floor and admit we’ll rent the DVD when it’s out… which probably won’t be a gigantic wait), however, we can assure you this is one of the funnier scripts for a horror movie from The Editing Room that we’ve read in several months. Oh, I doubt this will be a big issue for most people, but if you haven’t seen the movie yet, plan to, and don’t want the entire movie spoiled for you (I kept hearing that the ‘twist’ ending was the best part…meh), don’t read the script till you see it.

Otherwise? Click on the big ole’ link below to read the abridged script, and have a good laugh: