“TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D” (Movie Review) From Fangoria.com – Psst! Want To Save Some Money?

This is one of the BETTER reviews we’ve read! Much as we’d like to see every TCM kill in 3D, we decided it’s not worth it. Maybe on DVD, perhaps if we got free passes, a ride, and free drinks… well, that’s not saying much, we’d do that for a lot of mediocre movies.

I’ve read the entire spoiler for this movie and old-school horror fans like us (hey, we saw TCM2 in the theater! Opening weekend! Midnight showings only! How’s that  for horror street cred?*)  are mainly going to be pissed off (in our opinion) on the fact they fuck up the mythology. BIG TIME. This includes changing the back-story. GODDAMNIT!

We feel sort of torn attacking Texas Chainsaw 3D  as huge Bill Moseley fans loyal enough to see any genre movie… OK, almost  any genre movie… that he appears in. Every time we’ve met him, including attending Q&A after TCM2 at a convention, he’s been friendly and gracious.  He’s also more attractive in person, to the point where he’s unrecognizable as the actor who played Chop Top and REALLY unrecognizable as Otis from Rob Zombie‘s The Devil’s Rejects  and House of 1000 Corpses**,  or any of his roles where he’s so heavily made-up or made to look revolting and dangerous.

Bill Moseley at Monster Mania 5.

Anyway, the recent issue of Fangoria with Django Unchained  on the cover (#319) has an interview with Moseley, and a piece he wrote (highly recommended). He would have rather played Chop-Top again (he doesn’t even look that much visibly older, not to mention they let him keep parts of his costume and a few props) and we would have rather seen him as Chop-Top than Drayton Sawyer, but the studio didn’t have the rights to Tobe Hooper‘s TCM2. After reading the reviews, then the entire detailed summary of the Texas Chainsaw 3D movie, however, we’re really glad Chop-Top got left out of the whole Gawd-awful thing. Don’t blame him, he had nothing to do with this! Anyone else predicting a drop-off in the second-weekend box-office?

“TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D” (Movie Review): Click Here to Read On Fangoria.com!

 

By the way, if you would like to know everything that happens, here’s the link to TheMovieSpoiler.com’s blow-by-blow description of the entire plot to Texas Chainsaw 3D  (including all the gore).  If you want any surprises, don’t read it! If you’re wavering on whether to spend the money for a ticket, that’s for you to decide, but if you think reading the spoiler would be just as satisfying, and cheaper, read away. The Fango review is worth a read first, though! The replies from readers under the interview are well worth a read, too, and yes, the consensus is …skip it, they want to cash in. Just READING some of the lines repeated from the movie make us wince. And that is why we put TWO links to the detailed spoiler.

Screen shot 2013-01-09 at 5.59.42 AM

Fangoria Logo Copyright Fangoria Enterprises- All Rights Reserved

*NC-17 hadn’t been invented yet, so instead, no-one under 18 was allowed to buy a ticket– Mrs. Horror Boom just barely squeaked by,  and didn’t have to bribe her big sister to take her at the time.

** Now THAT is a fucking horror movie title!

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5 thoughts on ““TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D” (Movie Review) From Fangoria.com – Psst! Want To Save Some Money?

  1. ekkk ive always been afraid of the texas chainsaw massacre mostly because of the story behind it,

    (which is horrifing) and besides cannibals and chainsaws and leatherface make me queasy!

    have you ever seen the hannibal movies?

    man after he got to the Gary Oldman character, ewwww sick!

  2. thanks for the recommendation but I think I’ll pass hahahaha cause if I watch it then it will be stuck

    in my head all day and night, probably keeping me up since I have a vivid imagination and such but

    thanks anyways!

    im thinking of buying “Hannibal Rising” though!

    • I’d only buy it if you’ve seen it and you’re really into it… if you love the character of Hannibal, and you haven’t read Red Dragon and/or Silence of the Lambs yet, I totally recommend it to add to your collection. I read ‘Red Dragon’ first. I remember being late for a date with my husband (back when he was my boyfriend and we hadn’t moved it together yet) because I couldn’t put the book down!

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