Well… between this and the fact that the movie somehow managed to land on a “Worst of 2012” list, I’m kind of glad I decided to wait till DVD. Hilarious script yet again, though! Click the big red link below for…
I’ve covered this 26-part horror anthology film since July 2012 (I was actually sold the instant I heard the pitch/set-up), and after much frustrating bumping around with the release date, The ABCs of Death will be available On Demand (The latest trailers say “Everywhere On Demand”, but obviously, you’ll need to check with your cable provider) beginning 12:01 AM January 31st, followed by a limited theatrical release on March 8th. After a 6-month wait, you think we’re not waiting up to watch it after midnight Wednesday, the second it shows on the menu?
They did finally release the list of every director, their letter, and the title of their segment. All we’ve known since late last year is Xavier Gens’ “X is For XXL” (supposed to be a huge standout, and gore-off) and of course, “T” contest winner Lee Hardcastle with his Claymation stand-out “T is for Toilet” (you can see it by hitting the link to this piece, some friendly advice. do NOT watch while eating, on hallucinogenics, feeling emotionally unstable, or if you have a rare fear of and/or nightmares about hungry carnivorous toilets).
There’s some of my favorite directors (especially international ones) at the helm here to sweeten the already-great set-up, and the segment titles alone are enough to tip me off that I shouldn’t watch while feeling nauseous. Ready? Here’s the 26! To give an element of surprise, and also because I’ve got a deadline zooming at me head-on, I kept the listing in alphabetical order of the directors, rather than the letters. The movie will be showing them in alphabetical order, though!
Kaare Andrews — segment “V is for Vagitus” Angela Bettis — segment “E is for Exterminate”
Hélène Cattet — segment “O is for Orgasm”
Ernesto Díaz Espinoza — segment “C is for Cycle”
Jason Eisener — segment “Y Is for Youngbuck”*
Bruno Forzani — segment “O is for Orgasm”
Adrián García Bogliano — segment “B Is for Bigfoot”
Xavier Gens — segment “X Is for XXL”*
Lee Hardcastle — Contest Winning segment “T Is for Toilet”* Noboru Iguchi — segment “F is for Fart”
Thomas Cappelen Malling — segment “H is for Hyrdo-Electric Diffusion”
Jorge Michel Grau — segment “I is for Ingrown” Anders Morgenthaler — segment “K is for Klutz” Yoshihiro Nishimura — segment “Z is for Zetsumetsu”* Banjong Pisanthanakun — segment “N is for Nuptials” *
Simon Rumley — segment “P Is for Pressure” Marcel Sarmiento — segment “D Is for Dogfight” *
Jon Schnepp — segment “W is for WTF?”
Srdjan Spasojevic — segment “R Is for Removed”
Timo Tjahjanto — segment “L is for Libido” *
Andrew Traucki — segment “G is for Gravity” Nacho Vigalondo — segment “A Is for Apocalypse”
Jake West — segment “S is for Speed” Ti West — segment “M Is for Miscarriage” Ben Wheatley — segment “U Is for Unearthed” Adam Wingard — segment “Q Is for Quack”*
Yudai Yamaguchi — segment “J is for Jidai-geki” *
We also took the liberty of marking (with an asterisk ) some of the segments that we’ve read consistently –and from several sources– were supposed to be especially impressive stand-outs …with the critics and the crowd’s biggest audience re-actions.
Oh, we’re sure those aren’t the only nine out of twenty-six good ones; these are just the ones that get mentioned the most. I wouldn’t be surprised (especially judging from some of the still photos and titles) if many of the rest are too outrageous or offensive to describe. I believe four minutes is the time limit for each segment, so if there’s a few that you find boring or stupid, you won’t have to wait long until a good one comes up. If even half of them are fun, we’ll be happy. I know there’s a few failed attempts, but with 26 segments and directors like Xavier Gens, Lee Hardcastle, and half the team responsible for the Thai horror classic Shutter (Banjong Pisanthanakun) in there, fine with me.
If you’d rather have as few surprises as possible and know the exact order of the ways to die, here’s the ‘spoiler version’ of the above list. Just high-light to read.
And there’s PLENTY more information on The ABCs of Death where that came from! Keep your eyes peeled…er, perhaps not the right phrase at the right time. Watch this space. That’s better!
OK, this right here is some scary shit from concept designer Jerad S. Marantz, showing off some of his concept art from the show created by him and by makeup FX artist Christian Tinsley, who hold all the copyrights to the two images I used to feature this piece. Horror Boom had nothing to do with that, just finding them and sharing them here to scare the holy hell out of you (along with us)!
Looks like they stuck pretty close to the design for our favorite microcephalic, Pepper, and equally close (though with a different color palette) to Bloody Face. I finally figured out what separate’s Bloody Face’s look from the rest of the “cut off your face and fashion it into a mask to wear to kill my next victim” serial killers are the (bloody) teeth crudely sewed into the lips… or what would be the lips…
Like we say above, if you’re already having trouble sleeping, maybe hold off on clicking the below link and perusing the detailed concept art/designs till daylight. You’ve officially been cautioned…
All the Rasper concept art is fucking horrifying. I don’t know how or why they look more disturbing than the ones we saw on the show, but they do. There may be–probably is, in fact– more on the artist’s blog, I simply decided to not start roaming around on it until the sun is out.By the way, once you get to the gallery, note you can click on an image to isolate it, then expand it. I assume these took a lot of hard (or at least labor-intensive) work to create, the attention to detail is incredible.
The mid-transformation Shelley is what made the temperature in this room seem to plummet down to freezing for at least a minute, though. You’ll know it when you see it.
If you haven’t seen the entire season, still plan to, and want to go in clean, skip this and wait to vote until after you watch ’em!
Well, the budget here at Horror Boom is oh, let’s say we round it off, and ….we’re gonna go with zero at this point. That means we have to pay an extra $80 if you want to present more than ten options for any kind of poll. So, we can only list ten episodes, and had to cut out three- which has hard to do, but we went with Episode One- “Welcome To Briarcliffe”, Episode Two – “Tricks and Treats”, and episode 12 – “Continuum”. It’s not that they wer’nt good episodes; we just did some thinking and were pretty sure than they weren’t going to be in the running for best or favorite episode. There was just SO much more going on in the other ten, starting in “Nor’eastr” (Episode 3) – we saw the Raspers, for the first time, Sister Mary Eunice’s possession started to pick up speed, Sister Jude got hammered right before movie night, and we got the first (and only) actual look at the alien other than seeing flashes of long , freaky, insectile arms legs appendages later in the season. Plus, Shelley’s true descent into Hell began in the final scene of the episode with the first truly shocking, disturbing reveal of the season …the first of many, MANY more to come.
After that, American Horror Story Asylum just put the goddamned pedal to the metal and kept it floored, not easing off for a moment. Meanwhile, we viewers quickly realized were being treated to a pitch dark roller-coaster of a ride where you couldn’t see something coming at you until right before when it was already WAY too late to stop in time. They had carefully planned the route, but didn’t warn us before the really dangerous stuff)–sharp turns and dangerous driving that made our hearts pound and buckle up our seat belts instantly and hastily, trying not to panic about the fact that a head-on collision could occur at any moment. They then smoothly and wisely began backing down to the speed limit and thinking about the best route to the exit ramp on the penultimate episode, “Continuum”, where story lines took time jumps (in the case of Jude, a real nightmare of one), the finish line was in sight, we got closure on a couple of things, only to wrap up on the season finale (I keep wanting to call it ‘series finale’, since each season is self-contained and considered a novel of its own). All our questions were answered, we got closure (including the end of one character’s life that had Mrs. Horror Boom here so emotional she burst into tears and had to pause the episode for a goof ten minutes before fast-forwarding through the commercial break and onto the next act), and some great slow-burn pay-offs. Didn’t realize this till it got written down here just now, but there wasn’t much, if any, gore. in the finale. So what, though? It WORKED, and that’s all that matters!
As usual, you can vote on up to three (even we have trouble even narrowing it down to that) of what you personally thought were the best, most memorable episodes of American Horror Story Asylum. Also, there’s room for write-in votes as usual (all anonymous; we don’t even bother to block repeat votes, so there’s no cookies or IP addresses tracked) in case your favorite episode wasn’t included in the top ten. We included a link right here to the IMDB episode guide for the entire season right here, in case you’re not sure which episode title which major event happens in. Here’s the poll- vote away, and we’ll present the winners and runners-up in early February. Now, please exercise your right to vote below!
For the record, we voted for “I am Frank Part 2”, “Origins of Monstrosity”, and “Dark Cousins” tying with the finale, “Madness Ends”, and there wasn’t a dull or predictable moment in “The Name Game” either, and.… damn, this is just too hard!
Do I really need a lot of introduction here? It’s an interview with Naomi Grossman on Huffington Post, discussing playing Pepper on American Horror Story Asylum (and on possible future projects). I feel sort of stupid for not sniffing this piece out before, since it was published right after “The Name Game” episode. It’s another great one, she’s entertaining and informative as always:
I’m really going to miss “Asylum”, but I started missing Pepper the minute “Dr. Krump” gently told Jessica Lange that Pepper had passed in 1966. Too bad, I loved watching her playing “Candy land” with Jude, and also seeing them hanging out in the kitchen. Glad she knows how many fans she’s made happy!
Candy Land: The Great Lollipop Adventure (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Oooookay. Now that I’ve read several reviews, I want to see this sequel just for the Indonesian segment (“Safe Haven”) that comes from the makers of The Raid: Redemption (which I loved so much I could barely still during). Add horror, gore, what one reviewer called “EC Comics – like” rand batshit-crazy in? DEAL! Take a wild guess as to which segment the “featured image” from this post is from.
I found V/H/S to be uneven (and I totally agree with Drew Taylor about the misogynism; almost every male character was an asshole, and that the whole tone of certain segments dripped of hatred, which was one of my main complaints about the movie as a whole, especially that exceptionally sloppy wrap-around), but …when a piece worked… it fucking worked.
So far, from what I’ve read, everyone agrees that S-VHS is more intense, tighter, scarier, and gorier. That might not mean a bunch when the writer couldn’t stand the first one, but it’s still a recommendation to me!
Sundance Review: ‘S-VHS‘ Is An Uneven, Occasionally Thrilling Sequel To The Horror Anthology
Last year, the indie horror anthology “V/H/S” was released and promised to be chock full of truly in-your-face terror – these were fearless directors, given complete creative freedom, and squeezed together under a tight, blood-soaked package. Of course, the promise of “V/H/S” and the actual movie itself were quite different, and while there were certainly some gems (including entries by Ti West and Joe Swanberg that blurred the line between mumblecore and horror even further), most of them were overlong and uninvolving and (worse yet) reinforced some of the worst traits in the horror genre, including an undercurrent of ugly misogyny that was knotted through almost every section.Well, the conceit seemed too irresistible to leave alone and this year we have “S-VHS” making its grand debut at the Sundance Film Festival
What I should be doing is writing an article on the subject of horror anthology flicks myself. What I have been doing is getting very little sleep, at odd hours, causing me to do things like walk into a room, forget why, try to remember by going back in the original room, then ending up trying to take a nap. The other day I blanked on the correct title of An American Werewolf In London, which I literally saw in the theater over ten times as a kid (thanks Mom) and probably 30 more times on VHS, then a dozen on DVD. I had the movie poster in my bedroom as a kid for, like, over a year. This leads me to believe I need to get some rest.
Now… what was I saying?
There’s a very special place in my heart for horror anthology film;, so special that I am currently unable to articulate how and why when I’m this sleep-deprived, so I’ll rhapsodize about them when I can start a long sentence and then not have to stop at least once partway through because I lost my chain of thought.
While we don’t agree on everything (full-length horror needs to stick around), the writer is definitely onto something when it comes to why horror anthologies work so well.:
…short horror needs only a simple central idea, a few minutes of tension buildup, good scares to follow, and a clever resolution. Get in, get scary, and get out.
There you have it. Until my brain is firing on all cylinders, click on the big red link below to read this great piece from The Atlantic Post by Ian Buckwalter –
Mr. Buckwalter spends time focusing on the recent anthology filmsV/H/S –it looks like we differed on which segments were best, but I’m not going to go into that when I haven’t even written a review yet*– and brings up the highly anticipated ABCs of Death. You know, the one that Magnet Releasingkeeps pushing back the fucking release date on when we’ve been waiting, along with quite a few others, since last July, goddamnit! I doubt the directors, especially the ones whose work is appearing in a film for the first time, are feeling especially patient right now either. He just articulates so well why horror anthologies (that have at least two decent segments, though sometimes one segment that is exceptionally good can make up for the rest of the bad or mediocre ones). An uneven horror anthology film beats a shitty 90-minute horror feature any day of the week.
Ian Buckwalter is a freelance film writer based in Washington, D.C. He contributes regularly to NPR, Washingtonian, and DCist.
Do you like me?
*though we paid $9.99 to watch it On Demand in August, I do want to rent it for the deleted scenes from “10/31/98” and behind the scenes featurettes on “Amateur Night”, the ones I almost levitated watching, but… oh yeah. Sleep deprivation and ADD are a terrible combo when trying not to go off on tangents.
SPARTACUS IS A HISTORICAL PORTRAYAL OF ANCIENT ROMAN SOCIETY THAT CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE and adult content. Viewer Discretion is advised.
The above disclaimer (or attention-magnet) is shown along with the usual MA – LSV rating before each episode of Spartacus on Starz. Fans don’t just watch the show for the blood, sex, guts, and sex, but also for the well-written characters and their story arcs, as well as plot twists and reveals that have stunned even some of the more cynical reviewers.
What’s an article on Starz‘s epic series Spartacus doing up on here? Well, it’s in the new issue of Fangoria, for one (even though they didn’t focus on the gore, sadly), and every episode has been brought to you by (among others) Raimi/Tapert/Donen Productions. Yeah, THAT Raimi. Some gladiators look like actual monsters; some characters are beautiful outside and monsters inside.
Just another day at the office for the House of Batiatus…
I’ve tried to keep these vague as far as characters involved, but several of these could be considered spoilers. If you plan on watching Spartacus: Gods of the Arena (prequel 6-episode miniseries) Spartacus: Blood and Sand (Season One) and Spartacus: Vengeance (Season 2) and want to go in completely 100% clean, maybe you should just skim it.*
If you’re considering watching the show but are unsure if it might be too graphic, violent, and disturbing for you, then this is a great way to find out what you’re in for. Hint: if you’re worried it might be too sick for your personal tastes, there’s a 99% chance you are, in fact, correct.
These aren’t the most fucked-up things, or all the fucked-up things, they’re just some memorable highlights. I’m not kidding, this list almost wrote itself, I sure didn’t need to stretch to think of ten bloodcurdling events. If I included every messed-up thing that happened, the list would easily go into triple-digits (and there’s still one season left as of this writing).
1. An especially disgusting character gets interrupted while raping a screaming female slave. When he stands up and faces away from her to turn and confront the interlopers, the woman grabs his sword and rams it all the way up his ass with such force that the tip pokes through his stomach from before she yanks it back out. So there.
2. Soon after, a male character gets information out of that pig by pulling some of his guts out of the aforementioned wound (with his bare hands) and promising him a fast death if he tells him what he wants to know right away (it works).
3. A gladiator kills his opponent by shoving a spear through his opponent’s mouth, out the side of his face, then twisting it until the man’s jaw is literally hanging by a few threads (shown in slow motion, with shots of even the most jaded spectators looking horrified). Extra points to the make-up/FX team for using prosthetics.
4. In one of the most disturbing scenes of the entire goddamned series (which is saying quite a bit), a noblewoman snaps, attacking her (former) friend, and kills her in an enraged frenzy by savagely smashing her skull down against the marble floor countless times. She literally bashes her head in, we’re talking bits of skull and brain within a radius of at least a yard, her eyeball is popped out of the socket, her face caves in, blood everywhere, before someone can intervene and pull her away.
5 .Two gladiators are brought out to fight a giant fat rival gladiator (who may remind viewers a little of Ancient Rome’s Tor Johnson). They win by working as a team, wrapping a chain around his neck and then using all their combined weight to pull the chain from opposite sides until the fat gladiator’s head pops off like a champagne cork.
6. In an underground fighting area, simple referred to as “The Pit”, unofficial fights to the death take place. Fighting dirty is encouraged, bets are placed, and the crowd mostly consists of criminals, compulsive gamblers, etc. Many dead bodies get dragged up and hung upside-down on meat-hooks. One ‘champion’ celebrates every victory by slicing off the skin of his dead of opponent’s faces and wearing it on his own. He doesn’t bother fashioning it into a mask like Leatherface does, he just slices ‘em off with a hooked blade and then slaps that shit right on his face.The skinned faces look really horrifying, and brought the gore-extravaganza also known as the 2010 Piranha* remake to mind for me. Check it out below (sorry, I couldn’t find one without the editorial comments stuck in the action):
7. A noblewoman decides to “sponsor” a new gladiator-in-training and picks the one whose main character trait is that he’s more well-endowed than Dirk Diggler from Boogie Nights. They must have used a prosthetic, otherwise the actor playing him would have been a porn superstar and made enough to retire by now. Later, after he betrays someone, his endowment in chopped off (we don’t see that part, but we see his bloody junk in the sand) then they crucify him in the training square, we see the wound bleeding down his legs (it’ll look familiar if you’ve seen the Italian cannibal flick Make Them Die Slowly )
8. At a party of the city’s richest and most important men and their wives, a captured fighter in the slave rebellion is unlucky enough to be picked to be hog-tied and hung up from the ceiling like a human piñata . Instead of getting hit with sticks, though, people draw numbers to determine which guest gets to step right up to cut off a piece of him first. If that’s not fucked-up enough…
9. This gets worse as the guest who gets first, er, stab at him cuts out his tongue with a sword. Either the sword is about as sharp as a butter knife or the guy who did it was really, really bad with his weapon, as the poor rebel’s tongue is not so much cut out as slowly sawed off. The host jovially tells the second guest not to cut too deeply, “to not deprive others of their turn”. Again, the wealthy party guests (plenty are politicians, with their wives) are drawing numbers out of a goddamned bowl so everyone gets a turn. At one point, you can see a line of smiling guests forming. People eat snacks, chat happily, etc. while watching and waiting for their turn.
10. A man’s face is suddenly chopped off during a fight with an uppercut of a sword starting under his jaw (possibly the most shockingly gory thing I’ve seen in the history of the series, which is no small feat). One second it’s there, the next second CHOP. Not just his face gets liberated from his head, but the whole front of his skull. As he falls forward, dead, his brain slowly slides out of his brain-pan like a gory loaf of bread . Think I’m exagerrating?
Even two of the toughest, most seen-and done-it-all former gladiators who see it are visibly stunned …as you can see if you have the stomach to watch the actual clip below:
The final season of Spartacus, titled Spartacus: War of The Damned premieres tonight, January 25th, on Starz. Find out more here – including the fact that the premiere is online, streaming, for free …now!
The term “blood bath” on Spartacus is often literal.
*Though I am putting a more spoiler-y version later (don’t worry, you will be warned well in advance if you want to avoid spoilers)
**Mainly brought to you by the genius of Greg Nicotero, in some of the best work I’ve ever seen from him and Nicotero-Berger. I still cannot believe that movie got away with an R-Rating, but that’s a piece for another time.
Dedication: This piece goes out to Pete, Cindy, Norm, and all my other friends at Get Glue who asked me to tell them when I wrote it–thanks, you guys. Seriously.
If even half of them are fun, we’ll be happy. I know there’s a few failed attempts, but with 26 segments and directors like Xavier Gens, Lee Hardcastle, and half the team responsible for the Thai horror classic Shutter (Banjong Pisanthanakun) in there, fine with me.
HORROR BOOM 