Sons of Anarchy Season Five Finale Recap: J’ai Obtenu Cette —Jax Got This? (Spoilers) Bite Your Tongue!

Well, we started off the Fifth Season by doing a piece called, “Ten Fucked-Up Things That Happen On Sons Of Anarchy” shortly before the season premiere, so it feels appropriate to close by re-blogging this excellent recap of the finale from EW.com. Even before the tongue-biting in this episode (WINCE, wasn’t expecting the sudden gory shockers on this particular FX original series), I could have written another companion piece, “Ten Fucked-Up Things That Happened in Season Five of Sons of Anarchy” You know what? Screw it, I’m gonna write it and post it, I’m the editor/writer/Web Mistress of Horror Boom and I do it for free, because I love horror movies.* What’s going to happen, a bunch of advertisers get so pissed that they decide to jump on board and pay me?

In all seriousness, though, this was a pretty solid finale, well-written, entertaining, and with at least a couple of surprises (not all of them a pretty sight). Enjoy the recap, plus, there’s a “post-mortum” with Sutter right here. I thought the post-finale interview (click here) with Kim Coates was actually a better read, so I posted that as well. Check it out here!

Enjoy!

And here is what I posted to a message board on The Onion’s AV/TV club about that tongue scene (and I didn’t exaggerate, either).

That moment with the tongue really got to me. I watch(and own) some of the goriest Takashi Miike movies (In Ichi the Killer the one guy cut his tongue out, pretty slowly, to apologize to a Yakuza boss, but then seems fine after, his cell phone rings and he answers it, heh) and later says it’ll grow back like a starfish) and I was still shocked and horrified.

For a second it reminded me of S1, towards the end, where he tricks Stahl to coming over to read him the documents, then smashing her face down on the table as the first of many ‘fuck yous’. Uh, wait, is he slamming himself unconscious this time? Looks like… he’s …FUCK!

I had completely expected him to respond to ‘state your name, for the record’ to leaning forward (like he did) and then looking in the cam, clearing his throat, and slowly enunciate something like, “Otto… Delaney. Suck…my…dick.” Not …THAT. Right off the bat, too.

I exclaimed so loudly when I realized what he was doing and the tongue hit the table and then got thrown at the glass and slipped down (surprised they didn’t have the Foley artist make it go ‘squeaaak’) after it stuck to the window for a second that my husband got up and left to watch TV in the other room. Usually I’ll just bellow “HOAH!” when something in a movie or show is so gory it surprises me, but this time it was, “JESUS! CHRIST! He fuck– he fucking– AAAAGGGH! FUCK!” The effect was so gruesome and realistic I don’t think anything on American Horror Story Asylum this season has made me wince that much yet, and there’s been some nasty shit going down this season. Maybe I cringed so much because on American Horror Story Asylum (or even Spartacus, where a slave’s tongue was slowly sawed off with a sword, all kinds of gruesome shit goes down on that show) since there I expect some painful gore effect, not on SOA.

I thought he was laughing afterwards, but when I watched a second time the closed captions said he was “crying, weeping.” All that blood running over his teeth and shit… not to mention, they’ll still be able to probably make him communicate, though… every season I’m surprised what he recovers from. By the end of the series will he be a quadruple amputee? Well done, and this is the best, most satisfying SOA finale in a while (though they’ve had their moments, this was consistent).

* just so I don’t sound arrogant and self-righteous, for the record, I am trying to figure out a way to monetize Horror Boom even a tiny bit, as long as it’s not so in-your-face I turn into some gigantic sell-out whore and drive away people who just want to read about horror.