Wild Red Band Trailer of The Week! Hansel and Gretel – Witch Hunters (2013) …in 3D!

What the… yeah, I know. This at first looks like (thought only for about 90 seconds after I read the script details) another attempt to cash in on the ‘zany title’ trend. You know, take a very well-known fictional character, then take a cool-sounding secret line of work that involves the supernatural. Toss in 3D if at all possible, even if the movie has a serious tone. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter  (I heard such lackluster reviews from my friends* that I haven’t even rented it yet, in fact I’d prefer to see the new Daniel Day Lewis Lincoln  biopic, which doesn’t involve demons or monsters or anything close to the horror genre, it just looks better and the reviews are stellar). Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies  (which I didn’t mind watching on streaming, they did a lot better with a lower budget). FDR: American Bad Ass (I posted the Red Band trailer for the flick over six months ago, watch it here for a great laugh or two) which I actually am looking forward to, great trailer. Thomas Jefferson, Demon Slayer.  Santa Claus, Zombie Killer  (In 3D and IMAX). Cinderella VS Werewolves.

OK, I made the last three up, but you get the idea. This one looks like a fun time at the movies. Mainly because there’s the clever, entertaining, and gory trailer that made me add the move to my IMDB watch list. Check out the Hansel and Gretel – Witch Hunters trailer below!

Looks like a fun time – plus, guys, UK actress Gemma Arterton as Gretel! Every comment on the movie made by a male has raved about what a total hottie she is; I’ll take your word for it (she does look beautiful). Jeremy Renner looks like he’s having fun. I also love to see Famke Janssen, who I swear only looks about a couple of years older (tops) than she did in the first X-Men movie back in . Here’s the official synopsis (for now, at least) released (though I think the title and the trailer pretty much give you the idea).

UPDATE:  I woke up after posting this and found the non-Red Band trailer – minus the gore but with more monsters and story.  If the movie seemed even the least bit interesting to you (or you have the hots for Gemma Arterton, who has more to do in this trailer and is even more bad-ass, including head-butting some douche who sneers at her) it’s worth the two minutes to watch this one as well. The opening was so different I wondered if it was a different movie with the same title for half a second.  The visuals on this one look really impressive. Check it out below:

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters stars Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton as Hansel and Gretel. 15 years after their traumatic gingerbread-house incident, siblings Hansel and Gretel have become a formidable team of bounty hunters who track and kill witches all over the world. Renner and Arterton are compelled to track down a dangerous Sorceress (Famke Janssen) before she can sacrifice all the local children to her dark arts.

OK, I’m in so far! Here’s the link to the official site: Hanselandgretelmovie.com.  I like the touches of putting hand-drawn sketches of missing kids and trying them onto glass milk bottles with string, and I love the shot of Renner seeing what looks like a pair of Siamese Twin witches fused together at the back… and barely pausing before chopping them in half vertically.

The action-horror movie opens (in 3D and 3D IMAX) January 25, 2013! PLEASE let it be worth the money to see in the theater…

 

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Here’s Some Comic Relief! Read Orphan: The Abridged Script from Rod Hilton’s The Editing Room

I kept hearing how great this movie was, so I finally broke down and rented it from Netflix. It wasn’t that great. It wasn’t even that good,  actually. Instead, I should have just stuck to reading this “Abridged Script” from The Editing Room, because it’s much more entertaining (and doesn’t take 100 minutes of my time). Click the below image or the link to read. Enjoy!

Orphan: The Abridged Script | The Editing Room.

Why the character dressed like this, is never explained.