Here’s 13 Essential Tools for Surviving a Zombie Outbreak…

Hey, I had to post something  in consideration of the fact that The Walking Dead Season Three premiere, titled “Seed”, is less than 24 hours away– now with 100% more MICHONNE!

Yep, it’s good to have moleskin on hand, but in my book, I’d take one blister over ten zombies (see the statement that “One Blister Is More Dangerous To You Than Ten Zombies” in the guide below). Unless the blister was caused by stepping on a zombie’s mouth in your bare feet (or you’re such an idiot that you don’t pay attention to it until your foot is rotting off with gangrene, in which case you probably weren’t going to make it long anyway with such shitty survival skills and no common sense), that’d be SO the least of your problems if ten zombies shamble up to you. What’s the worst thing that can happen with a blister without moleskin? It’ll get infected, and I’ll have to use the hydrogen peroxide I’d carry with me in my little first aid I keep in my glove compartment even when the zombie apocalypse hasn’t happened? How is that more dangerous than ten hungry zombies? Worst case, you drain it and put a band-aid over the blister.

Worst case with ten zombies, though? Oh, I don’t know, maybe if they corner or outnumber you when you’re alone and out of bullets, they rip into with their bloodthirsty, decayed, zombie-virus-carrying mouths and teeth, and end up awkwardly pulling you apart, as you slowly die watching them eat your insides, then you come back as a zombie who’ll never get any food because your brain wasn’t destroyed and you’re just a rotting torso making horrible noises, THEN the best case scenario is some compassionate human with a loaded gun or a heavy/sharp tool stumbles over your pathetic, weakly flailing upper half and feels sorry enough for you that they shoot you in the head and put you out of your misery. But God forbid you if have a blister!   Don’t worry about those ten zombies, they’re not as dangerous.  Take care of that blister and apply the moleskin immediately, that’s your top priority. Then you can worry about ending up like “Bicycle Girl,” or some having a pack of cruel, bored human survivors see what happens if they cut off your head and put it on a stick for entertainment, bounce empty beer cans off your forehead, and laugh when you make pathetic attempts to bite them when they hold their hands just out of reach of your mouth. A sore on your foot would be much worse, though!

I’m just kidding.  Either way,  I still thought this was creative on REI’s part, so enjoy this entertaining piece from The Blackened Skull. Their blog rocks. I love the fact that  Dead Alive  is on the “Zombie Research Materials” list. Someone in REI’s marketing department knows their zombie movies!

10/15/12 UPDATE! Here’s the link to watch the (fast-paced and gory as hell) Walking Dead Season 3 Premiere, “Seed”, on AMCTV.com.  It’s only available until Halloween, though.

Blackened Skull

13 Essential Tools for Surviving a Zombie Outbreak

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3 thoughts on “Here’s 13 Essential Tools for Surviving a Zombie Outbreak…

  1. I wonder how I would react if there was a zombie outbreak in my town or in the
    whole world? hell I get scared when there’s a new sickness outbreak thinking I have it..haha
    I’m a bit of a hypochondriac!

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