Chills to Beat the Summer Heat, Part 4 – Adopt “The Creepy Doll”!

Hey all, I hope you had a nice relaxing Labor Day weekend. We did! We also got to see Killer Joe, ParaNorman, and V/H/S  (reviews to come).  Well, we’ve still got a couple more weeks of summer, and I have two more Beat the Summer Heat With Cold Chills posts left to go. Actually I had three, but I’m saving one because it deserves a bigger write-up when I have a little more time for it. It’ll be worth the wait …trust me.

So, around the time I found that You Tube video of the piss-yourself scary Bongcheon-Dong  Korean Ghost Web Comic, I started discovering some cool online horror-based flash games. Tuesday I had an unexpected hour to kill (so to speak) and found this spooky little gem to spend an interesting hour with. Now, I’m not especially creeped out by dolls. I wouldn’t want to wake up in the middle of the night and find one that I gave to Goodwill as a kid on the pillow beside me or anything, but some people get the shivers more than others.*

Whether creepy-looking sociopathic dolls are scary to you are not, the site is amusing, especially when CD has most of the phrases enabled and they vary wildly. You can go from having CD inform you, “It’s a nice day outside,”  or ask, “Will you by my friend?” right to “Goddamn your eyes,” “I’ll feast on your SOUL!” or simply, “ I WILL KILL YOU.”

Anyway, meet Creepy Doll -just click the link.  She has a string you can pull! Guess what, it doesn’t say what you’d want to hear (and I’m guessing that if you went to take out her batteries, you’d find the battery compartment empty)!  It’s not an adventure or a puzzle game, but still very entertaining; I found it pretty entertaining for over an hour (approximately how long the game takes to complete). The front page refers to it as a “Flash Toy” rather than a flash game, but it warns you it is NOT intended for kids. Just the info I needed in order to know it was worth checking out. The official description  and instructions from the UK-based makers, Psionic 3D, read:

Wanna talk to a deranged murderous psychopathic doll? Of course you do…
The more you talk the more she has to say and the more presents you get for her the more abusive she’ll become! Enter at your own risk!


Click the string to make her talk, More clicks = More presents = More points!

Eat worms, flies and spiders for extra points.

Don’t forget to submit your score when you think it’s high enough!

This is just a flash toy, not a full-blown game, just a bit of fun!!

Nothing complicated. The more you pull the string, the more new ‘phrases’ (and when I say ‘phrases’ I mean insults, threats, and every once in a while, a raspy declaration of caring for you …mostly bloodthirsty threats, though) Creepy Doll spews out at you. I actually went back later and completed the whole game, and I think they said there were fifty to unlock. As the score multiplies (all you have to do is keep pulling the string, and catching worms and spiders for Creepy Doll to munch up), the phrases get sicker. Creepy Doll only seems momentarily impressed when you rack up more points to give her presents.  I unlocked them all in about an hour. Maybe it can be finished in half that time, since on my first go-round I went out of my way to catch spiders and bugs for Creepy Doll to snack on. They take a little finesse to catch, since they don’t loiter long after they pop out of their various hidey-holes.

Creepy Doll’s finishing item from her Wish List. Ta-Dah!

The game ends when you earn enough points to bestow all ten gifts upon Creepy Doll. That part’s not hard, since it’s not like you have to go out of your way to purchase them, or even pretend to—they just pop up after X amount of string pulls. The ‘toys’ range from a bloody machete to a festive skull-and-crossbones eye patch (did I mention CD is missing an eye?) but 70% are murder weapons. Oh, and then there’s this.

After you give Creepy Doll all ten gifts and hear all fifty phrases via string-pulling, the game then advises you to keep going points-wise to put your score up on ‘the leaderboard’, but there’s nothing new to see or hear; the only reason to continue is to show off your skills. I made it to 42,000 before I decided to quit. Unfortunately, I had been trying different links to find the best version, and this version I finished off HAS no leaderboard. Seems, in fact, to be the only one without a leaderboard! Oh well, that’s the way the dead rat crumbles.

Whether creepy-looking sociopathic dolls scare you or not, the site is amusing, especially when CD has most of the phrases enabled and they vary wildly. You can go from having CD inform you, “It’s a nice day outside,” or ask, “Will you by my friend?” directly to “Goddamn your eyes,” “I’ll feast on your SOUL!” or simply, “ I WILL KILL YOU.” (nice exercise in classic minimalism on that one).

Keep those eyeballs peeled to catch those spiders and worms for Creepy Doll’s dinner.

Oh, and I left a cleaner version of this feedback on the Comment Board:  Y’know, I don’t mind Creepy Doll telling me, “you smell like dog vomit,” or “I want to eat your brains” –nothing personal there. But, “Have you gained some weight?” AY!!! YOU just CROSSED the mothafucking LINE, CREEPY DOLL! After I got you all those bugs to eat, and thoughtful gifts like your broken glass shards, a crown, and a stabby-knife? Oh no you DI-INT! Now gimme that chainsaw back!

Obviously, I own none of the images from the game that I posted here. They belong to the creators of the game, Psionic3D. I highly recommend you check out their official website, as it’s got great (and completely free) resources for 2D/3D games, art tutorials, forums and links galore …plus you can play other creepy games for free. Nice –amazing, actually– attention to detail. Played at night, Creepy Doll’s voice did give me the creeps, so if you are evil doll-phobic, save it for a nice sunny day when you need a little cooling off!

*I do find the concept of ANYTHING you threw away or otherwise got rid of that keeps returning skin-crawling, though. See the two excellent Stephen King short stories with this premise, The Monkey, which I read in the 6th grade (upon reflection probably not a good idea) and the sleep-with-the-lights-on scary The Road Virus Heads North (which I read as an adult, but frightened me even more).