The final four episodes of American Horror Story Asylum are a great jumping off point for our Ten Most Anticipated in 2013 list, and the first of the final four acts (The Name Game) is a matter of days away (January 2nd). So, read on about AHSA’s “final four” coming up next.
In a little more than a month, Briarcliff Manor, Sister Jude, Lana, Bloody Face, Sister Mary-Demon-Eunice, and the rest of the characters we’ve gotten attached to (in some cases, despite ourselves) will have gone the way of The Harmon family and the “Murder House.”
To avoid our explanation of why we cannot wait turning into an novella-length essay, we went with the traditional Horror Boom form when writing about this show: a ten-item list.
1. We’ve gotta know whether that baby inside Grace is human, or something horrifying. Given the fact she was 100% dead when her body was “taken”, and Pepper told Dr. Arden she was full term (and we also saw she was ready to pop at any minute… possibly an unfortunate choice of words), if a 100% normal, human baby is born and Grace’s life is saved, and if all involved get a happy ending, we’ll eat our laptops.
Did the demon in Sister Mary Eunice finally bite off more than it could chew? What if SHE gets pregnant?
Sister Jude-arrgh, Judy Martin and Lana Winters are now both on the same side, and they have each been through a living hell (that neither even came close to deserving) and have more or less nothing to lose but their lives, they have potential to be a really entertaining, merciless, and shitbird again?
3. Is Kit dead? Is Dr. Arden going to make it back in time to give him the Pulp-Fiction-style adrenaline shot? As I recall, once he dies, he only has a two to four-minute range before all the oxygen in his brain is depleted, then it’ll be too late to restart Kit and “reverse the effects” of the potassium chloride Dr. Nazi slammed into his heart. How is that going to happen in time? It took Dr. Nazi a minute or so to get to the room with the returned Grace and Pepper. You think ANY person, let alone the morbidly curious sociopath who is conducting this little experiment (even if you factored out Pepper’s weird return) isn’t going to be thrown off and distracted after going to discover by the sudden appearance out of the blue of a patient whose corpse he saw himself and then being taken away by AN ALIEN, now nine months pregnant after two weeks of her death (tops), touch her full-term stomach , then go, “well, this was interesting, but I need to get back to what I was doing with that patient I don’t give two shits about. Hold that thought, we’ll talk later”?
4. The chance that we could get to see either Oliver Thredson or Dr. Nazi get what they deserve, hell, maybe even both of them (we can dream, can’t we?) At this point, if Dr. Nazi was dragged to death under/behind a bus and it went on for twenty minutes before he stopped screaming for help before his head came off, that wouldn’t be enough. Nope, we want Dr. Arden/Gruper to get she Shelley treatment, as slowly and painfully as possible while everyone in the hospital laughs heartily at and makes fun of his unnaturally tiny endowment. Don’t let him die in a comfortable bed at the hands of a mercy killer, either, kick him down a flight of stairs, then drop him off in a giant pile of his victims. And Thredson/Bloody Face? Seeing him being eaten alive by wolves (seen the movie Frozen? Then you know the exact horrible death, possibly the most blood-curdling death in the movie, we are referring to) is too good for him that misogynistic psychopath! No, nothing less than seeing Thredson dying at the hands of Lana Winters will make us satisfied enough to say, “OK, I think they just may be even now” Nothing so quick as having his throat “slit nice and easy” and bleeding out, either, they should spread it out over at least the length of time Lana was tortured emotionally, psychologically, and physically at his hands. What, about…pffft… two-three weeks now she’s been in hell? Four? Start the clock at the stomach-turning “aversion-conversion therapy”. He should get put through what he did to Lana, or in his own personal, scary hell. I’m all for Lana and Kit grabbing a few tools and a textbook or two and skinning him alive …and Wendy not really being dead (don’t ask how, we’ve accidentally just slipped into wish-fulfillment mode here) and coming back to join in would be the icing on that cake.
We realize the content above might make you think we’re too harsh, or make you remind yourself never to piss us off, but a little birdie came to Horror Boom HQ and told us what [redacted for spoilers] to our favorite characters who have already been through more pain and horror than most people are put through in a lifetime. You’ll be right there with us.
5. Pepper is doing something horrible to Dr. Arden-Gruper to avenge what he did to Shelley (as Murphy promised in a tweet quite a few weeks back) could quite actually happen. Hey, she’s ‘come back’ with not only a normal IQ, but a high one. Maybe she’s got the skills to give him exactly what he did to Shelley (and then toss him out in the woods to be ripped into confetti by the pissed-off, hungry raspers he created).
6. Finding out what happened to Ian McShane’s character after he escaped. It’s supposed to be short but sweet.
7. Discovering the ‘tip of the hat’ (McDermott and Murphy have been hinting around about this ) to Ben Harmon, the character McDermott played in Season one. I can think of at least one that would just BLOW the top of everyone’s head off, but I’m sure it’ll be something different.
8. Seeing whatever happens in these scenes *shown in quick flashes) from the preview for “The Name Game” (Episode ten) screen-capped below. Man, that red slip is getting a lot of air time this season!
9. The especially weird dream sequence coming up (or psychosis playing out in someone’s head) that Murphy said consists of Sister Judy dressing in a Dusty Springfield-type mid-60s time period outfit, singing “The Name Game.” Who could have guessed that Lana-Banana nickname in the first few episodes was foreshadowing?
10. Seeing Dylan McDermott as Bloody Face Jr more. McDermott (whom I sometimes wonder if Ryan Murphy gets nervous about, since he’s not exactly 007 when it comes to discussing the plot and upcoming developments) said next, his character and the surrounding Bloody Face Jr. storyline) going to delve deeply into his “Mommy issues”. You know, saying Bloody Face has “Mommy issues” is sorta the equivalent of saying Charles Manson, Tex Watson, and the rest of his Helter Skelter crew were “somewhat off-kilter mentally” and/or had been known to be “involved with mild recreational drug use from time to time”.
And finally, here’s the preview for “The Name Game,” Episode Ten. Enjoy! If we get more info before the episode airs, you’ll know right after we do. Looks like things are going to get
ugly even uglier…