Category Archives: It’s Just So Wrong

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Ten F*cked-Up Things That Happen On Hemlock Grove (Semi-Spoiler-y)

9 May 2013

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So, we’ve watched all the Hemlock Groves episodes; in fact we were done by Saturday.*  It wasn’t memorable enough to want to write about immediately, so we’ve been making a list of ten “pros and cons” about the Netflix series (and it’ll show up) to help you decide if it’s worth watching if you’re on the fence.

These aren’t necessarily dirty due to sexual content (like the  10F-UTTH on Spartacus or the Sons of Anarchy list), but it is sort of… well… fucked-up. I left a few very nasty things out for spoiler-ish reasons and hey, if you do decide to watch it, you’ve got some twists and shockers to look forward to.

So here they are in no particular order and remember: hey, don’t look at us, we’re just documenting this!

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1. A character has their neck broken, and most of the upper body, including their entire chest area is skinless (we don’t see any farther down than that). They were flayed alive. We’re not sure if the neck-breaking (indicating they can’t feel anything from the neck down, meaning feeling no pain) happened before, after, or during the flaying. We do hear some SERIOUS agonized screaming coming from off camera when the attack starts, however.

2. Someone is buried alive (accidentally… at least that’s how it’s presented in the reveal).**

(Note: The following combo is in the transformation clip a ton of viewers have watched, and was shown at WonderCon, AND used heavily for PR by the show, so I’m not considering it a huge spoiler).

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How the hell does he transform back afterwards?

Two parter here: 3. During a grisly, painful-looking transformation into a wolf, a young man’s human eyes are pushed out from inside his skull and land on the (dirty) ground; his human teeth soon join the eyeballs.

4.-after the transformation is complete, the rags and scraps of discarded flesh left over of the young man (since he was torn apart from the inside out by the wolf literally tearing/pushing out of various areas of the body) lay steaming on the ground; the wolf  happily eats them up.

5. Early on in the series, a teenage girl (named “Brooke Bluebell”) who was viciously attacked by a wolf is discovered ripped in half. Only her nude top half is found, and she’s a shredded-up mess from midpoint-down, then everything else is missing.

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6. The girl who finds her body kisses her corpse on the mouth (she says she figured the whole thing was a prank and the bullies who are trying to scare her were hiding and watching. You’ll have to watch to find out more on that).

7. A body (just the upper half) is exhumed to further investigate cause of death (other than being separated from the lower half). This gets really really, ugly and messy –trust me, at least one person ends up vomiting all over.  KNB EFX is involved (doing the gore, not in the actual scene).

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Oh sure, it starts OUT innocently enough…

8. A gypsy girl (during a ritual) eats a rotting piece of flesh, then minutes later pukes her guts out (the flesh she ate, not her own actual guts, though that wouldn’t have surprised me by then). The camera shows that the vomit on the floor contains a live maggot.

9. During another tasteful gypsy ritual scene, a dead body is hung upside down from a tree by one leg, then decapitated (I’d have to watch the episode a second time to ascertain what exactly motivated this ritual, and if it actually achieved its purpose).

10. A young girl is revealed to have a sort of thick vestigial tail. Things get nasty when she decides on impulse to do some self-surgery to remove it.

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*Partially binge-watch, partially ‘try to get my mind off the fact that Spartacus had its series finale and there’s no new episode this Friday, and there won’t be any again’

**if you have watched Hemlock Grove (the entire series) and missed this moment, go to the Horror Boom Spoiler-A-Rama page and I’ll point out A. when it is and B. who–it’s not in-your-face ASAP or anything, almost missed it myself.

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Yo “Mama” (2013) DVD/Blu-ray Release Date is May 7th – PACKED With Bonus Features! We’ve Got The Details Here

5 May 2013

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The scariest goddamned movie we’ve seen so far this year, Mama, is coming out this upcoming May 7th,  and we’ll be watching it in the daytime instead of a dark theater with the sound cranked to the max – don’t want the neighbors hearing so much terrified screaming they call 911!  Oooo, and look at all these goodies…

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MATRIARCHAL SECRETS BD EXCLUSIVE: An in-depth exploration of the digital and practical effects employed to shape the film’s phantom presence.

DELETED SCENES with Commentary by Director/Co-Writer Andy Muschietti and Producer/Co-Writer Barbara Muschietti (more from us later on shots from the trailer not in the theatrical release).

ORIGINAL SHORT WITH INTRODUCTION BY GUILLERMO DEL TORO with Commentary by Director/Co-Writer Andy Muschietti and Producer/Co-Writer Barbara Muschietti

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THE BIRTH OF MAMA: MAMA began as a chilling short that announced a new voice in the horror genre. Exclusive interviews with Executive Producer Guillermo del Toro and the filmmakers track the bloodline of the feature and explore changes needed to make the transition to a film.

Will they include the original ending to the short (extended, alternate, and even scarier), or they one cut by about 20 seconds that was released as a promo (introduced by Del Toro) closer to the movies release? We hope they have both, because they cut out a BIG twist. Don’t worry, we’ll re-post the original, longer version either way. Any takers?

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You know, maybe coming in here with a broken flashlight wasn’t such a great idea… OOOOOOHHHH SHHHIIIIIIII– (kill)

FEATURE COMMENTARY with Director/Co-Writer Andy Muschietti and Producer/Co-Writer Barbara Muschietti

We can’t WAIT, and just hope they include Javier Botet in all the making-of footage (and a better copy of the now-viral, nightmarish, ‘Mama Motion/Movement Test” featuring Javier Botet – click here if you haven’t seen it yet) and the bonus “in-depth exploration of the digital and practical effects employed to shape the film’s phantom presence” the press release mentions. Surprise surprise, Netflix isn’t even bothering posting a release date, just “Unknown”. Oh, how helpful. This one, though, might actually be worth the extra features to cough up the $ to purchase the Blu-ray.

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The Editing Room Roasts “Funny Games” (The American Re-make)

3 May 2013

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BRADY CORBET

So Michael, what’s the point of running through all the major beats of a bog-standard thriller, while also trying to make it abundantly clear that this isn’t supposed to be one?

MICHAEL PITT

In order for us to challenge people’s expectations, silly! Let’s see, what’s next on the list of clichés…

Suddenly DEVON escapes! Despite having a brief chance to act with a modicum of intelligence, and actually subvert thriller movie convention as opposed to indulging in pretentious twaddle, he instead elects to try and HIDE in the nearest EMPTY HOUSE.

Wow, they (well, this was written by Owain B. for The Editing Room) REALLY let this ill-advised (and ill-made) remake have it. WHY did Michael Haneke feel the need to remake Funny Games? Click the big red link below to check it out for a good laugh! Oh, and if you want to read our review of the original Funny Games, you can find it here.

 

Funny Games: The Abridged Script | The Editing Room.

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'Hatchet III' exclusive: Check out the horror sequel's new trailer -- GRUESOME: ADULT CONTENT AND NSFW

25 April 2013

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Reblogged from Inside Movies:

Few recent filmmakers have more enthusiastically, or more bloodily, embraced the mantle of horror director than Adam Green whose Hatchet franchise details the gore-drenched ways of swamp-dwelling maniac Victor Crowley. Indeed, 2010's unrated Hatchet II made headlines when the AMC cinema chain pulled the movie from screens after just a couple of days.

Read more… 189 more words

OH HELL YEAH! Gonna miss Tony Todd... but maybe he could have a twin brother too? Look for a gallery of screencaps that flash by WAY too fast in this trailer, coming soon!  
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Total And Complete Movie Spoiler for SCARY MOVIE 5 (Save Your $ For A Better Movie)!

18 April 2013

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Ok, first up, we’re sprinkling quotes from the IMDB from Scary Movie 5 (AKA Scary MoVie- see what they did there?) throughout, in case you are still tempted to see the movie just for some snappy dialogue. This includes knowing where they used up their PG-13 allowed ONE use of “fuck”. You’ll thank us later, when you hear from someone who works at a movie theater telling you how many people walked out and asked for refunds (which were given). Actual dialogue from the prologue of the movie:

Lindsay Lohan: I don’t want to end up all over the Internet. I pride myself on keeping a low profile. My private life is private… wait, what are all these?

Charlie Sheen: Oh, just some movies I rented.

Lindsay Lohan: Me and Brandy, missionary?

Charlie Sheen: A tale of two girls who become nuns.

Lindsay Lohan: And what are all those?

Charlie Sheen: Oh, it’s just your standard home security setup, basic run of the mill.

Lindsay Lohan: And why do you need security cameras pointing at your bed?

Charlie Sheen: In case a burglar tries to steal my sex tapes.

AAAAAHHAAAHAHAHA! Whoo! That’s some funny shit right there. We’re still holding our sides, tomorrow we might have hoarse voices from so much raucous laughter!

Movie Spoiler for the film – SCARY MOVIE 5.

 

Click the big red link above to read a total, complete plot spoiler for Scary Movie 5 from start to finish. The movie has been met with in-your-face total hatred by critics and fans alike. It’s lazy, none of the cast members came back except Simon Rex, the male lead from the last two movies (who is funny, or had his moments in the last two), but can’t save this sloppy excuse for a box office weekend flash sale. The phrase “franchise ender” has been coming up quite frequently across the board.

Christian Grey: How do you like my blue room?

Jody Campbell: It’s red.

Christian Grey: Oh. I’m color blind, my decorator assured me… never mind.

Keep in mind: this utter disgust is coming from someone who OWNS Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2, and Scary Movie 3 (that last one we got used for $2.99, in our defense, and with all the Grudge/J-horror spoofs/in-jokes it was worth it. Oh, and we saw Scary Movie in a PACKED theater who roared through the whole thing (including both of us–and certain bits still make us giggle)…

AND a Scary Movie 2 matinée in a not-so-packed theater. Maybe 50 patrons, tops. James Woods was hilarious  (the prologue with The Exorcist spoof got the biggest laughs, along with the bit involving a bag over a head and Marlon Wayans), David Cross was as funny as the material let him be (some of his funniest scenes ended up in the DVD “additional scenes”), but most of the time we were distracted by how much filth, nasty sights (such as on-screen blow jobs—among other things) that the Wayans brothers somehow slipped by the MPAA. You should see the deleted scenes on the DVD, which I’m not even going to describe here.  We both think the NC-17 ones were stuck in so they could get away with the stuff in the R-Rated version, including (highlight to read, due to level of offensiveness) David Cross’ character giving himself a sloppy blowjob, Tori Spelling getting banged across the room by an invisible ghost (think ‘The Entity‘ if it had an X-rating and for some reason the lead character was very horny for the Entity, not to mention very athletic) and Shawn Wayons being attacked by the poltergeist clown puppet and ending up forcing himself on it, and pulling the clown under the bed with his dick while it (the clown) screams for dear life. BLEH.-there was this sort of uncomfortable silence in the theater even among the rowdiest patrons until the scene was over..  Oh, and a graphic handjob where gallons of, er, the white stuff they got away with showing in the original hitting a window and run down , hiding it. OK, enough on that, you get the idea.Also, the whole gag with Tim Curry‘s character reveal long, long, chewed-up, disgusting nipples was really uncalled for. Maybe he’s being a good sport, but COME ON, let him, (and his fans, especially those who still worship him as Dr. Furter) keep some semblance of dignity.

So there’s that. The series should have stayed R-rated with the Wayans brothers in the loop.

Snoop Dogg: When we get this reward, we gonna get ourselves a boat, some bitches and a shark-

Mac Miller: Why are we gonna need a shark?

Snoop Dogg: We just gon’ need one.

Nope, we don’t feel guilty at all on spoiling and roasting this one- they’re not even fucking trying. Save your money for a movie that DOES! Like, oh, The Evil Dead remake. You’ll get your money’s worth and won’t hate yourself before you even get halfway through the movie. Deal?

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Peter: I’m gonna need a little help, I have to go to the bathroom. My penis is in the corner.

Eric: This is fucked up!

 

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Check Out Entertaining, Twisted New “Hemlock Grove” Red Band Trailer – NSFW, HD (Toothbrush Not Included)

17 April 2013

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“From director Eli Roth, developed by Brian McGreevy and Lee Shipman, with Famke Janssen (“X-Men”), Bill Skarsgård (“Simon & The Oaks”), Landon Liboiron (“Terra Nova“), Penelope Mitchell (“6 Plots”), Freya Tingley (“X”), and Dougray Scott (“Mission Impossible II“). Sexy, gripping, emotional and twisted, Hemlock Grove is unlike anything else you’ve ever seen.”

We don’t know about that, but after seeing this we’re sure going to give it a chance.

Well! Hemlock Grove suddenly looks a lot more watchable than the first trailer we saw several months ago, despite the always-entertaining Famke Janssen playing another fun femme fatale and the promise of “a small town filled with secrets”.

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Now we’re talking flesh covered in maggots (see horrific photo in gallery below),  a young guy enthusiastically doing blow off a glass coffee table, screaming characters covered in their own blood, intense sex scenes that look like they might be on the verge of turning animalistic, grisly werewolf transformation shots, a chick suddenly vomiting up a gallon or so of some unnatural-looking mealy white goop including a live maggot, a girl kissing the upper half of a female corpse (the bottom half is raggedly torn off and nowhere to be seen), Nazis exhuming a corpse*, two good-looking (and very alive this time) young women making out, even a couple of lines showing a sense of humor, including a nod to one of the most well-known lines from John Carpenter’s The Thing (you’ll know it when you see it).  Wow, House of Cards ( the most recent other Netflix Original Series) might have had the sex and some substance abuse, but only metaphorical back-stabbing and ripping to pieces. Check out the new HD trailer below- it’s much more flashy –and splashy– than the teaser, we’ll give it that! In case the descriptions above didn’t clue you in (pretty sure 99% of readers already got the gist) it’s definitely NSFW.

Though Eli Roth’s name is featured prominently in all the advertising, making it seem like he created all aspects of Hemlock Grove and was involved in every episode, IMDB shows that technically, his involvement is limited to executive-producing three episodes. Well, we’re more interested in his next project being Green Inferno than we would a series.

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Doesn’t mean it’s all bad, though. And if it is good, you can wolf down mainline all 13 episodes starting this Friday, April 19th on Netflix.

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Check out the gallery below for a few more screencaps…

*or apparently a corpse, they’re climbing down into a freshly dug-up grave and opening a coffin, looking very interested.

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Uh… For What It’s Worth, “Evil Dead 2 Remake and Army of Darkness 2 Will Lead to Evil Dead 7!” (MovieWeb).com

5 April 2013

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Yeah, we’ll take this with a grain of salt, but for what it’s worth, they did actually say this; click on the big red link to all the details. Not trying to be negative, we’ve just seen and heard Bruce Campbell‘s reactions whenever someone brings up revisiting the role of Ash onscreen again (note: this is not his favorite question to be asked). Plus, director Fede Alverez seems extremely confident and enthusiastic, and after seeing the flick, I’d love to see something else he wrote and directed… especially a sequel to this gory roller-coaster (adult) funhouse ride.

Evil Dead 2 Remake and Army of Darkness 2 Will Lead to Evil Dead 7! – MovieWeb.com.

 

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This scene takes place BEFORE THE OPENING CREDITS, to give you an idea of how hardcore this awesome flick is.

We saw the movie tonight (well, Thursday night, 10PM) and had a fucking blast, by the way! They even gave out college-ruled notebooks, the kind we both love to jot down notes in, with an Evil Dead logo on the cover.  See it with a big crowd – and we advise NOT having a snack unless you can finish it by the time the movie starts. Though, if you haven’t eaten yet and have a medium-to-strong stomach, there’s a good ten minutes+ of calm after the opening credits. The pre-title sequence contains the scene in the trailer of the young lady/Deadite being burned alive–one of the film’s very, very few non-practical shots. When the five lead characters start wondering aloud where that horrible smell inside the cabin is coming from,  that’s a good time to save the rest of your snack for after the movie.

We especially recommend avoiding any snack that is warm and was alive at one point. Not to be PC, either… you’ll understand.  More on our experience AND the movie later.  Oh, and advise any fellow horror fans you happened to strike up a friendly conversation with to stay after the end credits!  I, in fact, told everyone leaving when the credits had started they should stay. They all took me up on it except some very pale girl who looked like she was about to throw up or faint.

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SPOILERS! Check Out This Behind-the-Scenes, B-Roll Footage from Evil Dead, Opening April 5th (Daily Dead)

4 April 2013

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OK, because 24 hours from now we’ll have seen the gory, fun, roller-coaster ride of a flick, we somehow controlled ourselves and stopped watching half-way through the B-roll footage. You WILL be spoiled! It’s not boring, either. We’re talking chopped-up but still possessed bodies being buried, things on fire, Deadites on fire… you’ve been warned.

Behind-the-Scenes Footage from 2013 Evil Dead Remake (Daily Dead.com)

 

We also get to see the beautiful Ms. Lucas getting her missing chunk of face-makeup prosthetics applied. FUCK YEAH, PRACTICAL EFFECTS! Sorry, this is like trying to calm down and try to fall asleep when you’re a kid all hyped up on Christmas Eve.

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Actually, all the female cast are beautiful. I didn’t recognize Jane Levy out of make-up at the premiere.  I’m not that familiar with her work since according to her bio she was born after I graduated from high school (SIGH, but hey, we got to grow up in the 80s Horror Boom, so who’s REALLY lucky?) and we don’t watch Subpugatory (great title, though). Yeah, she looks fucking horrifying as a Deadite, but in the footage and stills of her being chased, getting more or less raped by a couple of evil trees, and the scenes of shaking with fear and whispering to her brother We… have… to… get… OUT… of… here, I still don’t know how the made the stunning, wholesome redhead look as unhealthy and exhausted as she does in the first part of the movie.  See below:

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Well, they do have excellent make-up talent on board.

We’ll make another post soon with some screen grabs that aren’t too spoiler-y if you don’t want to ruin anything by watching B-roll footage, etc.  You probably already had this idea occur to you, but check theater listings. If you can’t wait till Friday (we sure fucking couldn’t) there seem to be a TON of Thursday showings, some starting at 10:00PM and then again at midnight. A good half-dozen theaters in our area code did!

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'Walking Dead': Dallas Roberts talks about Milton's big moment and the original scenes with Andrea we DIDN'T see

3 April 2013

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Reblogged from Inside TV:

[SPOILER ALERT: Stop reading now unless you have already watched Sunday’s episode of The Walking Dead.]

Mild-manned Milton was obsessed with learning how zombies act and what they think after being turned. Well, he got some first-hand experience on The Walking Dead’s season 3 finale after being stabbed by the Governor, bleeding out, dying, turning into a zombie, and then biting Andrea (forcing her to kill herself before she turned as well).

Read more… 1,436 more words

We'll try to make this our last "the scenes with Milton and Andrea you didn't see" piece. New, added information in this one, though... with a twist that would have REALLY been brutal, involving a ghastly mercy killing. DAMN. Check it out!   Screen shot 2013-04-02 at 3.43.05 AM  
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You May Want To Stay Seated For “This Is The End” Official Red Band Trailer (Summer 2013)

1 April 2013

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Still trying to find the “semi-gory” shots that EW.com was talking about. Meanwhile, this is still pretty funny!

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The comedy This Is The End follows six friends trapped in a house after a series of strange and catastrophic events devastate Los Angeles. As the world unravels outside, dwindling supplies and cabin fever threaten to tear apart the friendships inside. Eventually, they are forced to leave the house, facing their fate and the true meaning of friendship and redemption.

Starring: Seth Rogan, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Emma Watson, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson, and Micheal Cera.

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